Do i have the right to be upset?
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Also, I notice that it is people who have had the worst relationships that offer the most relationship advice.
How To Be Miserable 101.
^ truth, though in this case the dude sounds like a weeny
And he may very well be a weenie. :laugh:
But we have little information and a majority of people projecting.0 -
honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
All of this. I say break up with him.0 -
honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
Agree! Him being mad at his mom - all the more reason to want to get away & be with girlfriend & get glad & have a great time & forget about 'alleged' fight with mom. Face it, he's seeing someone else. I would do what one other poster suggested, call him & say you've decided to drive/fly to where he is to visit him instead, you'll be saving him a trip. How can he argue with that. See what excuse he comes up with then. That'll give you your answer.0 -
Look OP, you have a choice. Your weekend is now free regardless.
Are you going to sit and stew on this all weekend or are you going to make the best of the free time that's been given to you?
If you made a sacrifice to have this weekend free, don't let it get wasted. Stop worrying about your boyfriend and his behavior. You can't control what he does. Start making some plans for yourself. Deal with him and his bull**** later.
All over this. It's either a) He's telling the truth and needs some time alone, so you should take care of yourself while he takes care of himself (i can't find a way to say that that doesn't sound sexual). or b) he's lying for whatever reason, and you should not be held emotionally hostage.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.0 -
honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
^ My thoughts exactly. Red flag.0 -
We can all assume what's going on, but ultimately, the only one who knows is your BF. my suggestion is pray about it to be revealed and it will be. some men...heck , all men go in their cave to sulk when they get stung for whatever reason. if indeed its an issue of a fight with mom , and he just cares about his mom and isn't codependent on her, then he will come to his senses soon and it'll all be ok. If indeed he is staking a new claim on a local relationship, then i'd say that's his loss and someone else's gain. either way, the heartache eventually fades and is replaced by one that stays true. So if he doesn't respond back soon and make the extra attempt to show you he cares, then maybe it's time for you to punch his card and regroup for another try at a real man. Good luck whatever the case may be. Stay focused, stay strong!0
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Guys don't cancel plans with their girlfriend because they had a fight with mom. That's just some BS excuse. And.... on the off chance that it is really true, then this is not the man for you. Add on the fact that he doesn't seem to give a crap about the inconvenience it caused you..... Find a new boyfriend, and preferably not a long distance one.0
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He's upset with his mom, so he's staying in town near her after a fight? Yeah....might be a lie, especially if he is ignoring you now.
yeah something does not sound right.honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
yea, I've had some crappy relationships, but I would never assume that the fight was a lie. It happens and OP needs to decide if its worth accepting his apology or not and deal with it or move on. My guess is, he didn't answer, because he was upset with how she reacted.... just a guess....0 -
Also, I notice that it is people who have had the worst relationships that offer the most relationship advice.
How To Be Miserable 101.
^ truth, though in this case the dude sounds like a weeny
And he may very well be a weenie. :laugh:
But we have little information and a majority of people projecting.
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FYI.. if he loved you and had a big fight with his mom and was upset... the first place he would WANT to come would be to see you.
I think you should seriously think about the future of this relationship.
Not necessarily. If I'm in a mood the last thing I want to do is talk to or see anyone and I certainly wouldn't want to hop on a train for 4 hours either.
Also the OP didn't say what the fight with his mom was about. I can only assume it was something major since he's that upset about it.
Not sure why he didn't answer his phone or texts. Maybe he turned it off because his mom kept calling him and harassing him and he didn't want to deal with it. I can only assume that this is the first time he's done this to you so my opinion is to suck it up and have a nice weekend to yourself.0 -
If you rely on his presence to make you happy, suggest you spend the "free" weekend getting to know and love yourself. Treat yourself to a weekend of new experiences and pampering.0
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OK well if he is your age, then he is old enough to be mature and should not be blowing off your text/calls since he knows you have to change your schedule for HIM and I guess I go with what others are saying if he's mad at mommy dearest why not get out of there and spend time with YOU? (I say he's a cheater)
I see where it has been suggested you go there, and I have not read everything posted here, but I'm betting he lives with his mom? and many mom's are not OK with significant others staying over.
I think if this is a one time deal, try to work it out IF you feel he is worth it and you feel this will ever work out to a fulltime relationship (as in no longer LD) But most likely the smart thing to do, albeit painful is to break it off... if he can hurt you and then not even talk to you he is a bad life choice!0 -
How long have you been dating?
Does his mother really ruin his entire being? Does this mom made me angry thing happen often?
Has he done this before?
Do you really want to be around someone who uses his mother as an excuse?
Are one of you making plans to be closer to the other?0 -
im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons0 -
I wouldn't be so quick to say he is lying.
However, I do wonder if he would be ok with it she had done the same thing to him after he went through the trouble of switching weekends and was willing to work the sucky night shift to make it happen.
Meh0 -
just break up.
:flowerforyou:0 -
im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons
Perhaps this one is one where she needs to be somewhat suspicious though not jump to conclusions, and he at least he owes her an apology for ruining her weekend over a mommy fight. I really think he's in the wrong here and I'm usually not one to jump to that conclusion. Long distance means you jump at a chance to see each other as time together is precious. He's not doing that here. I'd be perturbed.0 -
You have the right to feel however the situation makes you feel. There are no good or bad emotions; what matters is how you respond when feeling them, and whether you let them control you or vice versa. The only advice I will give, and a few others have as well, is to not waste the weekend moping or repeatedly texting/calling your BF. Do something you've been wanting to do, regardless of whether he's there or not. I know this can be very difficult, but honestly, learning to enjoy being alone is one of the greatest gifts a person can give themselves.0
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im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons
Sure, wanting to be left alone after a fight is perfectly understandable but for two whole days (or more) after a fight with your Mum seems a bit....strange.
That's rather a long time to be holding on to a bad mood.0 -
If you rely on his presence to make you happy, suggest you spend the "free" weekend getting to know and love yourself. Treat yourself to a weekend of new experiences and pampering.
This.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
Yeah, but the BF wouldn't be alone as he still lives with Mommy. And, if you just wanted to be on your own because of a bad mood, wouldn't you at least tell your GF that rather than giving a sh!tty excuse and blowing her off?0 -
This is going about as well as every previous relationship thread posted here.0
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What does his fighting with his mother have to do with him visiting you? I don't see a connection...and not replying to you is downright rude and not how to treat someone you care about.
I'd be pretty upset, if I were in your shoes.
Pretty much this.0 -
My SO and I live in the same town, and we're lucky to see one another once or twice a year because of our work schedules. We had plans to get together over my birthday weekend, but his brother came in from California and he had a project at work dumped on him so he had to cancel. I last saw him in May. Most of the time it's me who has to cancel plans because I work two jobs. He has been understanding every time and very patient with me.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions UNLESS he has done this multiple times before. If you love him, you need to give him the benefit of the doubt at least once or twice.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
Yeah, but the BF wouldn't be alone as he still lives with Mommy. And, if you just wanted to be on your own because of a bad mood, wouldn't you at least tell your GF that rather than giving a sh!tty excuse and blowing her off?
I would need to re-read the thread to be sure, but I don't think OP ever said that her BF still lives with his mother. Just that he had gotten into a fight with her and that he is upset about it.
Honestly, you never know. Maybe she told him he was adopted or that she has no idea who his father really is. You don't really know what kind of family drama he is dealing with, and he may need to sort out his feelings before talking about it.
You shouldn't make assumptions about this guy or his situation.0 -
im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons
Sure, wanting to be left alone after a fight is perfectly understandable but for two whole days (or more) after a fight with your Mum seems a bit....strange.
That's rather a long time to be holding on to a bad mood.
Yup. In real life you have to learn to be nice to your significant other even if you are in a bad mood. Pissed off because of work? Still have to see your spouse.0 -
Is he staying with his mom when he comes to visit you? Or does he stay with you?
If he stays at his mother's I could see it being a good reason to not want to come home, depending on what the fight was about.
I'd still be pissed about the shift thing cause I understand the whole shift trade/night shifts thing but I would make the best of it and plan something else this weekend.0
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