Do i have the right to be upset?

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  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
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    the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?

    im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much

    Seriously.

    To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?

    A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.

    Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.

    So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...

    Guys night out.

    He had Wednesday and Thursday to do that and still see her on Friday. Apparently with this guy, it takes more than a couple days
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?

    im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much

    Seriously.

    To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?

    A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.

    Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.

    So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...

    Guys night out.

    He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
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    Is he staying with his mom when he comes to visit you? Or does he stay with you?

    If he stays at his mother's I could see it being a good reason to not want to come home, depending on what the fight was about.
    I'd still be pissed about the shift thing cause I understand the whole shift trade/night shifts thing but I would make the best of it and plan something else this weekend.

    He lives with his mom for now and I have my own place.so he will be staying with me

    You still have not answered the question as to whether or not this is the first time he's done this to you.
  • JustFindingMe
    JustFindingMe Posts: 390 Member
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    Maybe he's hiding a drug habit. Maybe the fight was about her finding his stash!

    Break up :wink:
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Wait, he texted you on Wednesday to say he wouldn't be seeing you on Friday because of a fight with his Mum?

    Does he tend to sulk for a long time otherwise how does he know he will still be in a bad mood a few days later?

    I don't get it...

    this is why I call BS. Most arguments with my immediately family are resolved in a day or two. Also, I agree with others when it comes to getting away from his mom for a few days and if he lives with her, that not being a good sign. Not to mention the fact that he's ignoring your texts/calls. Based on my previous experience, you are likely to not hear from him again; unless it's to spill more lies.

    Just cause your fights are does not mean OP bf are over in a day or two. And she has the weekend off. Why does she not just go see him. At least you will find out where your relationship stands. That option would more likely piss him off even more though.

    I agree that not everyone is the same, but this is not the only factor here.

    Well this situations all comes down to trust. Does she trust him or is she going to jump to conclusions. BTW when some men I know including me get angry, pissed off about whatever and our gf call. If we don't want to talk we don't. Does not mean we are getting something on the side. It means go away. Then we see the pile on missed calls and texts. We don't get happier. We might get even more pissed like look why are you still calling after I did not answer miss call # 10.
  • QuiznatoddBidness
    QuiznatoddBidness Posts: 602 Member
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    (you're beautiful) + [ (he's lying) OR (just a douche) OR (16) ] = (break it off now) + [ stop doing whatever you've done to (create OR sustain OR enhance) the "relationship" ]
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?

    im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much

    Seriously.

    To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?

    A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.

    Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.

    So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...

    Guys night out.

    He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.

    He works Monday -Friday so when does he have time for guys night out. Maybe he has no PTO time to take personal days to handle whatever it is.
  • ginakiki
    ginakiki Posts: 226 Member
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    i know i am going to come off harsh but i am telling u from personal experience long distance stinks..i been there. do u trust him how old r you guys. hes not putting any effort into u guys. break up with him, dont waste your life with someone who doesn't even have the guts to return your calls. you can do better. dont call him move on. how long have you guys been dating. you have every right to be mad. you dont know what hes doing, he could be lying or cheating...sorry just be strong. when i was in a abusive relationship for 7 years, i wasted time but you learn from it. i started up kickboxing 5 days a week concentrated on me and my goals, i couldnt believe how many guys wanted to date me. i felt very in powered and happy in my own skin. Do you change your number, if he cares he will come running back or would make a effort. please take care
  • AglaeaC
    AglaeaC Posts: 1,974 Member
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    Well this situations all comes down to trust. Does she trust him or is she going to jump to conclusions. BTW when some men I know including me get angry, pissed off about whatever and our gf call. If we don't want to talk we don't. Does not mean we are getting something on the side. It means go away. Then we see the pile on missed calls and texts. We don't get happier. We might get even more pissed like look why are you still calling after I did not answer miss call # 10.
    "Oh My God! She's calling me AGAIN! What a b1tch! Wish she'd just stop calling me!"

    How horrible to have a girlfriend who cares about you and wants to talk, sort a situation out before it develops into something nastier. If you're so hellbent on not talking, be a decent human being and send an effing text message at least. Takes a few seconds and she has at least SOME kind of communication from you.

    If you're in a relationship, you aren't single and that means you hopefully WANT to talk to your best friend. Isn't there any limit to how selfish people can be? I suggest you look up the definition of compromise, because we are still talking about a long-distance relationship where communication is the only bond between two people when geography keeps them apart.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    OP, just break up. That seems to be what the consensus is and your happiness does not necessarily concern me.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
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    honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.
    yeah something does not sound right.

    that's what my sister said,she thinks its an excuse

    I agree with your sister. It's a pretty lame excuse at that.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?

    im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much

    Seriously.

    To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?

    A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.

    Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.

    So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...

    Guys night out.

    He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.

    He works Monday -Friday so when does he have time for guys night out. Maybe he has no PTO time to take personal days to handle whatever it is.

    Oh, come on, every guy I know goes out regardless of whether or not it is a weeknight. Maybe he doesn't get as blasted or stay out as late as a weekend, but they still go out if they want to go out. Unless he's a neurosurgeon or something. And since he's living with mom, I doubt that.

    The guy is blowing her off for the weekend because of a fight with mom on Wednesday. In what universe does that make sense? Unless he just really does not want to see her on the weekend. If he really did want to see her, he would make it happen.
  • slomo22
    slomo22 Posts: 125 Member
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    Maybe he got grounded but he's too embarressed to say so hahahaha. Seriously is he 14?
  • Bellodesiderare
    Bellodesiderare Posts: 278 Member
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    honestly, pretty sure he's lying to you. But to answer your question, yes, I'd be upset.

    ^^ This. Sounds like it's time to focus on you. In time you'll find someone new who is a better complement to you.
  • sarahrosheen
    sarahrosheen Posts: 82 Member
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    4 hours away?! that's nothing! he's def lying to you. don't waste your time. use the long weekend to find a better man!
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
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    Maybe he got grounded but he's too embarressed to say so hahahaha. Seriously is he 14?

    :laugh:
  • morehealthymatt
    morehealthymatt Posts: 208 Member
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    Your bf is a fool.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    I have to say he is an idiot and not worth it. He needs to grow up and stop taking the easy way out by texting.
  • liekewheeless
    liekewheeless Posts: 416 Member
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    Take a step back. It seems a lot of people here are telling you to tank the relationship.

    If you feel it's over, it's over. But if you don't feel that way, don't do anything rash.

    From the other side of a text it's easy to blow things out of proportion. He may truly feel he would ruin your weekend. I know when my husband is moody it makes me cranky, he can't turn it of or get over it in a couple of minutes, it's best to leave him be and let it work itself out.

    If he's already upset, he may be ignoring your calls/texts because he doesn't want to fight with you too.

    For your question, yes you can be upset. I would be. Give him the same courtesy and let him be upset on his own therms.

    Plan something fun for yourself and don't stay home sulking (unless you enjoy that sort of thing). When both of you are cooled off have an honest conversation about what you expect from each other.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?

    im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much

    Seriously.

    To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?

    A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.

    Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.

    So what happens if the relationship progresses into marriage? You can't just ditch your wife and kids just because you're in a bad mood...

    Guys night out.

    He had time for two guys nights out before the time he is supposed to come and see her. Sorry, it doesn't wash.

    He works Monday -Friday so when does he have time for guys night out. Maybe he has no PTO time to take personal days to handle whatever it is.

    Oh, come on, every guy I know goes out regardless of whether or not it is a weeknight. Maybe he doesn't get as blasted or stay out as late as a weekend, but they still go out if they want to go out. Unless he's a neurosurgeon or something. And since he's living with mom, I doubt that.

    The guy is blowing her off for the weekend because of a fight with mom on Wednesday. In what universe does that make sense? Unless he just really does not want to see her on the weekend. If he really did want to see her, he would make it happen.

    Going out when you are angry does what. Calms you down to where you go to sleep at a decent hour to work the next day, Tell me your secret please cause If i go out when I am angry that is not how the night will go.

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