Do i have the right to be upset?
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You have the right to feel however the situation makes you feel. There are no good or bad emotions; what matters is how you respond when feeling them, and whether you let them control you or vice versa. The only advice I will give, and a few others have as well, is to not waste the weekend moping or repeatedly texting/calling your BF. Do something you've been wanting to do, regardless of whether he's there or not. I know this can be very difficult, but honestly, learning to enjoy being alone is one of the greatest gifts a person can give themselves.0
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im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons
Sure, wanting to be left alone after a fight is perfectly understandable but for two whole days (or more) after a fight with your Mum seems a bit....strange.
That's rather a long time to be holding on to a bad mood.0 -
If you rely on his presence to make you happy, suggest you spend the "free" weekend getting to know and love yourself. Treat yourself to a weekend of new experiences and pampering.
This.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
Yeah, but the BF wouldn't be alone as he still lives with Mommy. And, if you just wanted to be on your own because of a bad mood, wouldn't you at least tell your GF that rather than giving a sh!tty excuse and blowing her off?0 -
This is going about as well as every previous relationship thread posted here.0
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What does his fighting with his mother have to do with him visiting you? I don't see a connection...and not replying to you is downright rude and not how to treat someone you care about.
I'd be pretty upset, if I were in your shoes.
Pretty much this.0 -
My SO and I live in the same town, and we're lucky to see one another once or twice a year because of our work schedules. We had plans to get together over my birthday weekend, but his brother came in from California and he had a project at work dumped on him so he had to cancel. I last saw him in May. Most of the time it's me who has to cancel plans because I work two jobs. He has been understanding every time and very patient with me.
I wouldn't jump to conclusions UNLESS he has done this multiple times before. If you love him, you need to give him the benefit of the doubt at least once or twice.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
Yeah, but the BF wouldn't be alone as he still lives with Mommy. And, if you just wanted to be on your own because of a bad mood, wouldn't you at least tell your GF that rather than giving a sh!tty excuse and blowing her off?
I would need to re-read the thread to be sure, but I don't think OP ever said that her BF still lives with his mother. Just that he had gotten into a fight with her and that he is upset about it.
Honestly, you never know. Maybe she told him he was adopted or that she has no idea who his father really is. You don't really know what kind of family drama he is dealing with, and he may need to sort out his feelings before talking about it.
You shouldn't make assumptions about this guy or his situation.0 -
im with you, but some prefer solitude in times like that. depends on what the fight was about an the degree of it i guess.
Personally, the one person I'd want to be with would be my SO. I can't imagine a grown man being so upset by a fight with his mom that he would cancel a trip to see his girlfriend. Agree though that it's all guesswork here but my eyebrows are going up on this one, particularly since she changed work and he's not a seeing his phone
i do admit its a little fishy he didnt answer his phone but that could be for any number of reasons
Sure, wanting to be left alone after a fight is perfectly understandable but for two whole days (or more) after a fight with your Mum seems a bit....strange.
That's rather a long time to be holding on to a bad mood.
Yup. In real life you have to learn to be nice to your significant other even if you are in a bad mood. Pissed off because of work? Still have to see your spouse.0 -
Is he staying with his mom when he comes to visit you? Or does he stay with you?
If he stays at his mother's I could see it being a good reason to not want to come home, depending on what the fight was about.
I'd still be pissed about the shift thing cause I understand the whole shift trade/night shifts thing but I would make the best of it and plan something else this weekend.0 -
I also suggest you refrain from going through so much trouble and inconvenience in the future to have a weekend free for him. If he feels you're worth seeing, let him change his schedule and make arrangements. If he's not willing to do that, is he really worth any more of your time and effort?0
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disappointed yes....mad not really
this is what makes Long distance relationships tough0 -
May I suggest going for a bike ride?0
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May I suggest going for a bike ride?
Sound advice. Fixes everything.0 -
the amount projection in this thread is ridiculous. have none of you ever wanted a weekend alone after having a sh*tty week? who the hell wants to spend 4 hours on a train in that kind of mood?
im not saying its 100% chance he's not lying, but jesus jump to conclusions much
Seriously.
To everyone stating, "He's lying!" have you never had a fight with a loved one and been in a bad mood? Is that really so out of the realm of possibility?
A lot of people have had really bad relationships, and that is informing the advice they're giving.
Yeah, I do not understand the confusion people are having. If I am in a bad mood I want to be alone. I dont want to talk or see anyone, including my SO. It is therapeutic for me amd ensures that I dont say something that I will regret while upset.
Yeah, but the BF wouldn't be alone as he still lives with Mommy. And, if you just wanted to be on your own because of a bad mood, wouldn't you at least tell your GF that rather than giving a sh!tty excuse and blowing her off?
More assumptions. It was never stated by the OP that he lives with his mom.0 -
I won't give any advice about the relationship... because clearly you know better than I in that situation. I will however point out that now you have the weekend off, and are going to have to make some big sacrifices to pay for it. So you ought to plan some fun things for yourself, and live it up a little. Make the time you have worth while. Don't spend it moping about his absence, instead live it to its fullest!0
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May I suggest going for a bike ride?
This is turning out to be one of the better relationship advice threads on MFP...0 -
May I suggest going for a bike ride?
Best advice on this thread. I think I'll go for a ride myself! LOL0 -
Did you actually tell him the trouble you went to? Because otherwise he has no way of knowing how inconvenient his cancellation was.0
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Sounds to me like the OP is a stage 3 clinger. He should break up with her.0
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