Be honest... you've pooped yourself, haven't you.

Options
1235

Replies

  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
    Options
    See I don't even count peeing myself, because I scuba dive. As my dive master always said, never trust the diver that claims they don't pee in their wetsuit!
  • Tigg_er
    Tigg_er Posts: 22,001 Member
    Options
    On the way to a BBQ I had my two grandaughters with me in the car, hadn't been feeling good all morning. We were at a red light waiting for the green and an awful cramp hit me and then all hell broke loose. The two darlings rolled down the windows and started shouting at the cars on either side of us that their Popie had pooped his pants could anybody help us. This little old lady in the car next to us say's oh dear and throws a small package of kleenex thru the window.

    Needless to say I had to turn around and go back to the house to clean up. When we get to the BBQ the girls run ahead of me into the back yard holding hands and singing a little chant the turds had made up.

    We are late because he couldn't wait , Poopie Popie Pooped his Pants ! Well that went over real well.

    Still Love the little snots though . :drinker:
  • suremeansyes
    suremeansyes Posts: 962 Member
    Options
    Shouldnt this thread be titled?:

    A guide to get you started on your path to Poopypants
    :laugh:



    Also I feel very left out that I don't have an epic ???? story to tell. :sad:

    All you need is a pizza with chorizo and garlic on it, apparently!! JOIN US!

    Have some ice ready for your butt too.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Options
    I think this is my favorite thread on the entire internet right now.
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
    Options
    Well, these days I'm pretty open (on the internet at least, not so much IRL) about my eating disorder.

    And it is very commonly known that they cause digestive *ahem* issues.

    Let's just say... I found myself wanting do die of embarrassment, and hoping my friend did not notice the smell before I rushed to the bathroom.
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
    Options
    I am pretty bad with the sharts when I am at work and no one working with me. The funny thing is, I never have that issue anywhere else, and sometimes I have no warning its gonna happen. I really think its just because we are not allowed to leave the floor if we are the only one working. I've had TWO occasions I thought it was just a fart and nothing more...:embarassed:
  • LadyRN76
    LadyRN76 Posts: 4,275 Member
    Options
    I am laughing so hard I am crying...
    I wish I had one to tell...but I don't..I feel completely left out...

    ETA: BEST THREAD EVER
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
    Options
    No, not yet, but so, so close.

    One plant where I worked has larger, centrally located bathrooms. My office was located away from both of them, where I had a significant walk to either. I was working diligently (or surfing the internet) in my office when out of nowhere...

    Uh oh. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

    It was so bad, I had to do the vice clench, partially doubled-over, straight-legged, not-too-fast-or-I'll-poop walk to the bathroom. I had to pass half of the plant in this manner and I'm sure everyone I passed knew exactly what was up. I was sweating and dying of embarrassment the whole way.

    I was so relieved when I finally made it, I didn't give the intestinal "walk of shame" another thought.
  • Lemongrab13
    Lemongrab13 Posts: 206 Member
    Options
    Why is everyone sh*ttening themselves? :noway:
  • kamaperry
    kamaperry Posts: 885 Member
    Options
    Once, thank God I was alone
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    Options
    Yep. Lots of times :blushing: When I've got a stomach bug, the one time I tried a "cleanse" (oh, thank God I was at home that day), and I even pooped every time I went into labor (and even in the delivery room--vomit, too EEEWWW) with every single one of my children.

    Piss myself a lot, too. I have a "nervous" bladder (4 traumatic pregnancies/deliveries of giant babies will do that). Pissed myself at work once (in front of a customer--upscale furniture sales) when I was pregnant. He would NOT let me get away for 2 minutes during a lengthy consultation. DO NOT mess with a pregnant lady. When she says she needs 2 minutes, giver her 2 danged minutes!
  • Slinky_BraveHeartBunsOfSteel
    Slinky_BraveHeartBunsOfSteel Posts: 10,891 Member
    Options
    Yes. About 6 years ago when I was(stupidly) taking Orlistat, I leaked orange poop on a thrice daily basis(Never lost any weight either) :grumble: That's kind of made me want to change my ticker now...
    132_zps1e36427b.gif
  • Xalifer
    Xalifer Posts: 392 Member
    Options
    Yup several times tbh.. Glad to know I'm not the only one
  • BekaBooluvsu
    BekaBooluvsu Posts: 470 Member
    Options
    I think this is my favorite thread on the entire internet right now.

    Me too :love:
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Options
    Yes. About 6 years ago when I was(stupidly) taking Orlistat, I leaked orange poop on a thrice daily basis(Never lost any weight either) :grumble: That's kind of made me want to change my ticker now...
    132_zps1e36427b.gif

    Alli does that to you as well. I didn't think I had one of these stories... but yeah.. sharting orange oil.
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
    Options
    I've had a few incidents and recently a memorable close call.

    Was at soccer practice in high school when the need hit me like a Mack truck hitting a deer. Stopped me in my tracks. I was only about a 1/4 mile from home and told the coach I'd be back. Though I could make it. I did not make it. Fortunately only one squirt got out and my underwear contained it.

    A few years back I decided to start running more and signed up for a series of summertime 5k races. One per month from May to September. I peaked at the July race. I was in great shape and was really looking forward to setting a PR. I'd had lentil soup for lunch about 5 hours before race. Literally as the 10 second countdown to the start begins I feel the poop drop into my colon and start knocking on the door hard. I go white and turn to my buddy next to me and say "I need to take a ****."

    As a fellow runner he knew the feeling. Gun sounds and we both go. The race was around a section of the Charles River in Cambridge/Watertown MA. About a mile in I'm still doing OK when the poop makes me stop for the first time. There is a business right on the river that rents kayaks and stand up paddleboards. They have a portapotty available. I debate using it and decide I can make it.

    This was a mistake.

    I never shat myself but spent the rest of the race between a slow jog, stopping completely to hold it in, and walking. After the race as Kramer would say on Seinfeld I'd appeared to have "missed my chance" and things were OK.

    I was heading out for vacation after the race so went home to shower before driving down to New Jersey. As soon as I stepped in the house and my body knew a toilet was available the crippling pain returned. I barely made it down on the seat. I was probably ****ting as I was dropping into full squat. Fortunately it all went into the bowl. I'm glad I was home alone. It must have sounded very similar to Jeff Daniels crapping in Dumb and Dumber. Along with laughs/tears of relief when it was over.
  • Inkratlet
    Inkratlet Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    I can't say I ever have. My body likes to expel dodgy food in the opposite direction before it ever gets that far - thank you sensitive stomach!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Options
    On the way to a BBQ I had my two grandaughters with me in the car, hadn't been feeling good all morning. We were at a red light waiting for the green and an awful cramp hit me and then all hell broke loose. The two darlings rolled down the windows and started shouting at the cars on either side of us that their Popie had pooped his pants could anybody help us. This little old lady in the car next to us say's oh dear and throws a small package of kleenex thru the window.

    Needless to say I had to turn around and go back to the house to clean up. When we get to the BBQ the girls run ahead of me into the back yard holding hands and singing a little chant the turds had made up.

    We are late because he couldn't wait , Poopie Popie Pooped his Pants ! Well that went over real well.

    Still Love the little snots though . :drinker:

    Can't stop laughing!!
  • JoelleAnn78
    JoelleAnn78 Posts: 1,492 Member
    Options
    Only twice --

    #1 had the flu - should have puked in the trash so I could use the toilet as well, but, alas, I was puking in the toilet... I may have gotten some on the trash, so there's always that..... :blushing:

    #2 I was pregnant. In my son's nursery cleaning and oops..... I chalk it up to being pregnant. Never happened before and hasn't happened since, but my husband was unimpressed when he was using the Little Green Machine to clean poop out of our child's carpet BEFORE our child even arrived.....:noway:

    Now, if this was the have you ever peed yourself thread.... Well, there's not enough time in the day. Every. Single. 5K I ran last year I peed myself, one of the 5Ks this year - at mile 1.5 :angry: and had to run the last 1.6 in soaking wet pants and sneakers... :grumble: On occassion if I am doing a hard training run... The list goes on and on. I'm blaming that on the baby, too...:sad:

    Seriously - I've quoted myself, because obviously posting this (above) jinxed me. I set off on my longest run Saturday morning at 4:45am. Felt great -- hit the restroom before I left and even did a little pre-emptive push, just to be sure... Nope, nothing. Off I went. Got 2 miles in and felt a little rumbly. Started reviewing the route for any potential open bathrooms (I was running the main road from one town to the next). Hit 6 miles and knew I was never going to make it home. Remembered the public boat launch has a porta potty. Turned down the road to the boat launch.... :angry:

    Needless to say... my first in public poop was severe enough to end the run and require I walk straight off the end of the boat launch in to the ocean. I texted my husband to come get me, dropped my phone and key on the beach and headed into the ocean. When he showed up I was just walking out after removing and washing out my running pants and putting them back on.:grumble:

Categories