Boyfriends buying junk food...
ClairePear14
Posts: 47
Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?
Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.
I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.
How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?
Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.
I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.
How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?
0
Replies
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Just get lots of healthy snacks. Chop up carrotts, cucumber etc and have Greek yogurt for dips. You can make your own crisps, make healthy popcorn etc. Just ignore boyfriend and stay strong. Drink lots of water to keep you full .0
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I have a similar issue with my SO and coke.
One of my goals has been to ditch sugary drinks, but I really enjoy them. Having to have cans of Coke in the house is driving me nuts, and making it harder to give them up completely, but he 'can't live without them'.
I don't have any solutions, just - I feel your pain!0 -
dont eat it0
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I buy chips, and nutty bars for my boyfriend when I do the weekly shopping. It sucks sometimes, but I can't expect him to cut stuff out because I have. My health is my responsibility. I try to keep lots of healthy stuff around. If he's having chips I make some kale chips or have some almonds or carrots. When he has his 315 calorie nutty bar and I feel like I can't resist I allow myself one bite or a fun size kit Kat for 70 calories. I try to make better choices, but no one is perfect. I've had my days where I walk by and say "ok only one chip." Next thing I know I have had 10 and I am kicking myself in the *kitten* lol0
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or...dont eat it
Allow yourself to work it into your day...in my opinion giving yourself permission to have a serving of something takes away that obsessive thinking about it as if you will never have it again.
Weigh a serving on your food scale and log it...enjoy and move on.0 -
Have you talked to him, asking him for some support. Perhaps the compromise is he does't keep the junk food in the house, or you get something in to share that you've planned in to your calorie goal?
Ultimately though, you just need to be focused on what you really want - those crisps or that healthy body.0 -
My spouse is lucky and burns a LOT of his calories off at work. I try not to punish him because I can't have things- it's hard. I find I buy him snacks I don't like. and buy me snacks I do like- popcorn- blue corn chips- anything made by lesser evil!0
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If you want any of that junk food bad enough, then decide to fit it into your daily calories.
I think you'll find that eventually, you won't want to sacrifice so many of your calories for that food.
Giving yourself the freedom to have it will make it much less tempting. Think of that episode of the Simpsons where Police chief Wiggum asks Bart and Ralph "What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?"
Or, think of Adam and Eve. Surely you've heard of that story.
Making something forbidden makes the desire for it a lot more intense.0 -
Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?
Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.
I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.
How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?
I have a husband and son that love sweet treats...so we buy them or I make them...
Like yesterday there is no less than 3 different things made in my house by me...
He is not addicted to sugar he is eating what he wants...it's not up to him to control what you eat just like it's not up to you.
And yes you should be able to control yourself...regardless....when you see a purse in a store you can't afford do you steal it? No you control yourself...it's called being an adult.
If you want to lose the weight bad enough you do one of two things....fit it in your calories or don't eat it.0 -
My husband and I both love sweets. Currently in the house I have 6 flavors of ice cream, brownies, cake and I think some cookies are left, I love to bake so there's always lots. But, I plan my day add in the portion I can have and move on with my day.
Your boyfriend doesn't have to change just because you decided to lose weight, you need to make the mental change that you will either have some or you won't.
Stef's example of the purse sums it up very well.0 -
Is he only at home on weekends, and living/working somewhere else during the week? If so, he (or you) could buy only the amount of treats that he'll eat over a 2 day period. A small tub of ice cream, one bag of chips, etc. That way you won't be alone with those foods all week while he's gone....he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
BTW I agree with the previous posters - there will always be temptations. The world is full of bakeries, and eventually we all need to learn to walk past them. Unless they have fresh cinnamon doughnuts.0 -
I have a similar situation in my office. We have a terrible junk food culture, and every day there are cakes, cookies, pastries, doughnuts and crisps lying on top of several of the filing cabinets.
I try to keep things out of sight. So if some cookies suddenly appear on the filing cabinet beside my desk I will move them one row down. This way I am able to largely ignore the plethora of treats in the office. If I do partake, my strategy is to break off a tiny bite size portion. That way you are forced to think whether it is really worth the calories to have a second or third bite.
Good luck with resistance.0 -
My husband and I have discussed this same issue at length. He is the type that can have an opened package of chips sitting on the shelf for two weeks. I explained to him how difficult it is to me to have the in the house. How I have to say "no" a thousand times and that USUALLY I can say no. but when the snack is right there in the house and I'm alone with it, I struggle with saying no to myself over and over and over again until one time, I'm eventually gonna say "yes" It only takes ONE little time that I was weak and said "yes" to cancel out a thousand times I was strong and said "no'
Fortunately he understands now and we reached an arrangement that works for both of us. He brings in just what he's going to eat that day or for breakfast the next day. If he wants Ice cream, he buys one or two dove ice cream bars and puts them in the freezer. I don't care if he sits there and eats them in front of me, I want him to enjoy the foods that he likes heck, I even make him special foods that he likes that I choose not to eat due to their caloric density.. I just don't want these delicious calorie dense foods around the house for a week.
It's all about compromise. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask him to never eat these things or never bring them in the house because it's his house too, but it also wouldn't be fair for him to load up the house with my favorite sweets and snacks and then just say to me "have willpower and don't eat it". The compromise we reached of him only bringing in the snacks that he's going to eat within a certain time frame works well for us. I hope you can find something that works for the two of you .0 -
Thanks all!0
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Is he only at home on weekends, and living/working somewhere else during the week? If so, he (or you) could buy only the amount of treats that he'll eat over a 2 day period. A small tub of ice cream, one bag of chips, etc. That way you won't be alone with those foods all week while he's gone....he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
BTW I agree with the previous posters - there will always be temptations. The world is full of bakeries, and eventually we all need to learn to walk past them. Unless they have fresh cinnamon doughnuts.
Well he works 5 days a week and comes back late at night, so hi relaxation time is only the weekend!0 -
Oh and thank you all who have commented!
I'll speak to him a bit more about it and see if we can come to a conclusion.
He apparently wants to stop eating junk too but he doesn't have the dedication to hold back from buying it.
I'm not going to control what he eats at all!
He's a big Strong man! I'm not going to hold him back! Haha0 -
My bf eats junk but I have learned to restrain myself ...the world is full of temptations. Sometimes I make allowances for it and share with him and other times he eats on his own.
I do offer him healthy choices and he would eat it with me but I don't make his snacks an issue.0 -
[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]
Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?
I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.
My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.
Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.0 -
My boyfriend's also on MFP, but he's on it to gain muscles and make sure he doesn't look weight while trying to gain. He has to eat 3,000 calories a day on his "Bulk" months and then 2,000 cals on the other months. He uses junk food, to make sure he HITS that calorie goal, as well as chicken for protein. My partner doesn't live with me but comes round 4-5 days a week, when he does? He brings round every forms of junk you can think of! Sweets, crisps, cookies, chocolate.. and anything else you can think of. He need's to eat it, so we have a draw in my kitchen named "Snacks/JunkFood" and I can eat it! As long as its in moderation and in my calories, which is a good thing because I'm not restricting myself or making myself crave it more till I binge.
You need to remember its calories in - calories out. You can eat what ever you like in moderation, so if you want some junk? Weigh yourself some crisp or chocolate out. All because your boyfriend's eating it doesn't mean you need to too or the same amount. :laugh:
Also if your that paranoid, get yourself healthy food snacks. So when you crave, go to your healthy snacks.0 -
My partner is the same, he loves biscuits, cake and doughnuts.
When I first joined MFP I talked to him and told him that I would never stop him eating whatever he wanted but I would appreciate it if for a short while he could limit what he eats around me, just so I can get my diet sorted.
I was lucky, instead of storing it in the cupboard at home, he left it in the car when he fancied some he would go and get it from there.
He also never offered me any.
Now he will aways ask, can you fit a ?????? into your day?
If I cant he will eat it away from me, if I he will eat in front of me. Its then up to me if I have or I don't.
Sometimes people who love us don't see in us what we see in ourselves. So maybe he doesn't see you as fat so doesn't understand why you are trying to lose weight.
My partner didn't understand, he has never saw me as fat. Wasn't until I told him how I felt and got very upset.
He is so supportive, I couldn't ask for better.
Talking to him is the only way around it and seriously if he wont support you I would seriously question the relationship.0 -
I have a skinny husband with a physically demanding job and three children.
There is always food that I cannot have in the cupboards, and I bake a lot. It is my responsibility not to eat it. Of course it would be easier if I lived on my own, but I don't, so I have to do with it.
I try to pre-log my food, so that if I know I am baking cookies, I can have one and adjust my other meals in consequence.
When I am tempted to eat a high sugar / fat treat, I ask myself :
- Do I really, really love this food? (so homemade cookies are in, crap chocolate is out)
- Would I be able to have it at any time? (so once-in-a-year visit to a very good ice-cream parlour is OK, croissant that I can get from the boulangerie down the street any day is not).0 -
is this post some type of joke?0
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Break up with him. Obviously he doesn't care about your needs.0
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Ask yourself one question: once you have lost weight, do you expect to continue eating in a balanced manner to keep it off? If your answer is yes, all the fattening food he brings home can serve as an exercise for maintenance for the future. Your eating habits are changing but the world around you will not, including your boyfriend, family, friends, people in the street or all the fast food restaurants scattered all over the place. You need to devise a coping mechanism to control it.
Here is a suggestion: during weekdays cut an extra 100 calories from your intake. On weekends when he comes, have a low calorie breakfast and eat at maintenance, which will give you room for some of what he is buying. There is no reason you should sit in the corner munching on a lettuce leaf when there is pizza. You should be able to balance things out between the things you need and things you want.
When I'm faced with such a situation I ask myself these questions:
1. Do I really want it?
2. Is it worth an extra walk or cutting down on other things?
3. Do I have room for it, or I can create room for it by exercising more today?
If my answer is yes to all 3, especially the last one, by all means I have and enjoy whatever is there. If my answer is no to either one of the first two I often lose the desire to have it, but if my answer is yes to the first two and no to the last, I act like a grown-up and control myself.0 -
or...
Allow yourself to work it into your day...in my opinion giving yourself permission to have a serving of something takes away that obsessive thinking about it as if you will never have it again.
Weigh a serving on your food scale and log it...enjoy and move on.
^^This +++++0 -
Are there "treats" he likes but you don't? For instance, I hate Doritos. I won't eat them. I hate the "cracker"-style Combos. Won't eat them, even if I'm starving. Also mint chocolate chip ice cream. Same thing with cinnamon rolls, anything dill, etc., etc. If my partner brought 10 cases of these into the house, and I was full-out "hangry," I STILL WOULD NOT EAT THESE. I hate things with raisins in them. Or shaved coconut.
Point being, can he bring things he likes but you hate? And then if you have "treats" you do like, and fit into your calorie budget, on-hand -- like, fruit or yogurt or jello or something -- you can eat that when he's eating the nasty treats you wouldn't want anyway?
Just an idea.
Edit to add:
List of additional "treat" things I hate, just because I hate them and I want to call them out for their nasty (in my opinion, YMMV of course)
Licorice
Mounds/almond joys
Anything Little Debbie-like with "fruit" in it
Anything with raisins baked in it (yes, I'm repeating this one)
Anything with nutmeg
Chocolates with cherries in the middle
Maraschino cherries
Candy corn
Halloween hard candy that looks like Smarties, but aren't
Anything with artichoke0 -
Might be an odd solution, but consider having his junk food stored in a different place than the rest of your food. You might have to still see him eating it, but the bags or packages won't be in your visual range when you go prepare something to eat for yourself.0
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Mine will spend 30 bucks a pop on snack cakes, nuts, popcorn, cookies, and whatever else looks good. He keeps it all in his office and I know where it is but I look at it like it isn't mine. Also out of sight out of mind for me. If I want something I will ask him and he gives me just enough that I can have it without it screwing up my calorie count. I made him some chocolate white chocolate chip cookies and didn't eat one of them. I admit I licked the beater but hey, things happen. I just work things around what he usually eats because I am generally not picky. So I eat what ever looks good as long as it stays within my counts. I am not a believer in cutting things out that you like. That is a recipe for failure because you are going to end up resenting the fact that you can't have the things you like and quitting will be all too easy to do.0
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You're an adult I assume? Not a child who must eat what your guardian dictates? So make your own choices. If you can handle moderation, then allow 200 calories a day for treats/whatever. If you can't do moderation, then make sure you have your own snacks on hand.
Take care of yourself first. Make YOU a priority. In my opinion that is the key.0 -
Might be an odd solution, but consider having his junk food stored in a different place than the rest of your food. You might have to still see him eating it, but the bags or packages won't be in your visual range when you go prepare something to eat for yourself.
Great solution! It might not work for everyone.. I know it wouldn't have worked for me at an earlier point in my journey... and it MIGHT not work for me now the the point where I am... but I can definitely foresee a time when this will be something that can work in our household.0
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