Boyfriends buying junk food...
Replies
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See a doctor.0
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[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]
Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?
I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.
My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.
Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?
What are you trying to say OP?
I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.
This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.
I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.
And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.
So you both have no self control. Well we needed why you had no self control. BTW I used to have that problem to until I really wanted to lose weight. Wha la its gone. How else did I get big especially at a young age. Age 13 already 200 pounds. From eating a lot.0 -
kick him to the curb0
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I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.
Bull ****.
That's just pre-excusing failure and insult to all the humans - fat or otherwise - who manage to get their **** together.0 -
I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.
This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.
I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.
And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.
First of all, STOP YELLING. LOUD NOISES.
Second, you received comments on here from users that offered their suggestions or advice (myself included) on how to help with your self control. I'm not sure what else you want from strangers on the internet. People tried to give you thoughtful responses.
If you had an ED in the past, the vast majority of people on here may not be equipped to help you, and you likely need to seek professional help.0 -
And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.
then redefine what you consider food.
one of the things that helps me is to consider potato chips, cookies, ice cream, and other junk foods as "not" food. in my mind, they are on the same level as a keyboard, a rolling pin, or a bathroom tile. you wouldn't eat any of those, right? they are not food. think of them as being made out of styrofoam or pieces of plastic.
once i accepted that cupcakes and brownies were as much food as scissors, paperclips, and folders, i was able to ignore treats that come in at work.0 -
Eugh... I give up. There is literally no point.
Thanks to those you that actually understood , gave some relevant advice and helped.0 -
I know what you mean. Occasionally, I finish off half a bag of chips in a sitting. These things happen.
And it's important that these things happen.
Because it's not the end of the world if they do.
OH NO I ATE SOME CHIPS doesn't exist for me. You dust yourself off, pick yourself up, and keep trucking. I expect to eat chips and ice cream for the rest of my life, in some quantity. So it's important I have them and can control them now, or at worst, do the damage control afterward.
Because life after I lose all the weight is going to be that: control of and damage control for food.0 -
How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?
okay- so here's the thing.
NOT saying "I used to have a problem"- and then bringing it up as a 'what if' scenario is backhanded and childish and doesn't help you. You should have been clear and up front from the get go- OR just not said anything at all.
Seriously- the best way to get help is to be truthful about the situation.
And the reality is if you HAD/HAVE an ED- you need to see a professional- not air your issues on a public forum.
Secondly- or thirdly- people HAVE given you sound advice. And it's the advice that works for everyone.
Grow up, be an adult with your food- learn how to say no-
Kearn how to have some self discipline and take control-
Don't let an inanimate object control you. And don't eat your emotions.0 -
Last night my bf made a chocolate layer cake with chocolate pudding between the layers and chocolate frosting. I had a piece, and it was lovely. Yes, I was over my calories, but not by a whole lot, I can easily make up for it.
The point is, I DECIDED I was going to have a piece. Other times I say no. This time I decided I was going to eat it and make adjustments by eating a little less today and going for an extra walk.0 -
Last night my bf made a chocolate layer cake with chocolate pudding between the layers and chocolate frosting. I had a piece, and it was lovely. Yes, I was over my calories, but not by a whole lot, I can easily make up for it.
The point is, I DECIDED I was going to have a piece. Other times I say no. This time I decided I was going to eat it and make adjustments by eating a little less today and going for an extra walk.
That's perfect!
Thank you!0 -
See a doctor.
OMG why didn't I think of that!?
What a genius idea. I'll be right on that .
Idiot.
I am not the one on the forums with no self control. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
See a doctor.
OMG why didn't I think of that!?
What a genius idea. I'll be right on that .
Idiot.
I am not the one on the forums with no self control. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
excuse me sir.... sir...SIR... 9yes I realize well that may not be the correct gender- but I'm used to saying SIR to be annoying... tough titties)
but SIR... SIR you have a posting problem. I see you have no self control. I think you should see a forum doctor.
<
not a doctor- but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night.0 -
See a doctor.
OMG why didn't I think of that!?
What a genius idea. I'll be right on that .
Idiot.
I am not the one on the forums with no self control. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
excuse me sir.... sir...SIR... 9yes I realize well that may not be the correct gender- but I'm used to saying SIR to be annoying... tough titties)
but SIR... SIR you have a posting problem. I see you have no self control. I think you should see a forum doctor.
<
not a doctor- but I did stay at a holiday inn express last night.
All I saw were titties. :laugh:0 -
mission accomplished!!!!!!
:drinker:
we seriously need a bewbies emoticon.0 -
Eugh... I give up. There is literally no point.
Thanks to those you that actually understood , gave some relevant advice and helped.
Yes, how DARE the world not be able to read your mind and know your history with eating disorders. HOW DARE IT!0 -
Several people made actual contributions. We didn't tell the OP to just suck it up or leave the boyfriend. Seems like the ones showing the most animosity had the least helpful advice to begin with.0
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Yep. Love that:
I go and exercise 4 - 5 times a week (run, dance, spin, tennis, golf etc...), my husband does nothing.
I eat healthy, bring my lunch to work including a lot of fruit and veggies. He eats junk food.
I make healthy meals at home for the family, which he will eat with usually cola for a drink. For desert or evening snack I will have some low fat yogourt and/or some fresh fruit with a large glass of water. Husband will sit with me drinking cola and eating cookies or ice cream.
I love that I gain weight and he doesn't.0 -
Okay' so what you're saying is that you want to change your boyfriend's diet and everyone should talk about your BED?
I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.
This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.
I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.
And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.
Would he mind if you stuck poison stickers on his junk food? Maybe that would be a good reminder for you?
Try looking at it while being disgusted by it and your fat and call it bad names.
You just have to find some way to not want to eat it. I wish I knew the way.0 -
My husband does this and makes me nuts!! However, the reality is that the standard american diet consists of lots of "junk" and most people do love to eat it. And that's ok, for them. It's just not ok for me. Learning to accept that others have something you can't is part of life. I view it like having a sports car- I'm sure it's lots of fun but it's not practical for my life. Focus on your goals and eat some fruit or something else that you enjoy that is a better alternative 0
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Yes. And so do I. So I eat it in moderation. I would never ask the other people in my life to change just because I want to change and it will make my life easier.0
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I feel your pain!!! I have been trying to ease my boyfriend into the healthy eating process but he is naturally skinny and loves junk food so I have to compromise. I buy him snacks in single serving bags that are semi-healthy, like pretzels or baked chips. This way it's not like there's this big leering bag of chips waiting to be snacked on by me, but they are put aside for him and are "his" snacks. Also, since they are relatively low calorie, it won't kill me when I steal a few while he munches.
It definitely helps to keep a load of your own snacks around...baby carrots, kale chips, seaweed snacks....weight watcher's has some really yummy cakes and chips that are low calorie and high in fiber. Your bf might even like some of those snacks and decide to keep those around instead of his junk food, at least in your presence.
Last but not least, if you cave and have some of his junk food....it's not the end of the world. Log the calories and make up for it in exercise. Ten minutes on the elliptical is 100 calories burned so just be conscious of what you're consuming and burning and you will be fine!
Edit: I showed my boyfriend this post because I thought it was so funny how there are so many people who can relate to this problem, and he reminded me of another way we work it out: He tries to buy snacks that he knows I don't like. This is hard because I tend to eat everything in sight but there's a few things that just don't excite me so I don't have to struggle AS MUCH with self control. I think the recurring theme here is talk to your boyfriend and try to work something out together. You won't change his eating habits and you probably need help with self control, but you are a couple, the best solution is the one you find together.
Good luck!0 -
Okay' so what you're saying is that you want to change your boyfriend's diet and everyone should talk about your BED?
I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.
This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.
I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.
And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.
Would he mind if you stuck poison stickers on his junk food? Maybe that would be a good reminder for you?
Try looking at it while being disgusted by it and your fat and call it bad names.
You just have to find some way to not want to eat it. I wish I knew the way.
None of this seems like a healthy way to look at food or yourself.
It's just like everything else, one step at a time, one victory at a time. Taking time to exercise is a choice, sticking to a calorie goal is a choice...even coming to the realization that you need to lose weight and making that first step toward achieving that goal is a choice. The more of these "right" choices you make, the easier it is to make another right choice. The same holds true for making bad choices.
The focus shouldn't be on making food disgusting or looking at yourself in disgust...it should be about focusing on the end result and visualizing the end result. Find motivation in results...but results that are healthy and can last long term.0 -
My husband does this often,
I find it easy, the smell of junk food now makes me sick so I make a nice salad, have some water and leave him to eat whatever he wants.0 -
Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?
Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.
I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.
I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.
How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?
I have a husband and son that love sweet treats...so we buy them or I make them...
Like yesterday there is no less than 3 different things made in my house by me...
He is not addicted to sugar he is eating what he wants...it's not up to him to control what you eat just like it's not up to you.
And yes you should be able to control yourself...regardless....when you see a purse in a store you can't afford do you steal it? No you control yourself...it's called being an adult.
If you want to lose the weight bad enough you do one of two things....fit it in your calories or don't eat it.
I agree with most of this, but not the stealing of the purse, its hardly the same thing. Eating food in my own home and taking something that doesnt belong to me in a shop. Also adults get things wrong all the time, you dont suddenly become an expert at all things as soon as you turn 21. Otherwise we wouldnt have lots of people who are obese or with eating disorders.
OP you will have to fit it in your daily intake if you want to keep eating it. Sometimes I eat what my other half is eating and sometimes I have to say no. If I waited to be on the same page as my other half I wouldnt have lost weight. Good luck you can do it.0 -
I have one of those....
He is better though, I've had a conversation with him, and have asked for his support, maybe you could do the same?
However, you can't stop him eating junk food, so you might just need will power, or do something to keep your mind of the junk food?0 -
Eugh... I give up. There is literally no point.
Thanks to those you that actually understood , gave some relevant advice and helped.
Leaving out your past BED was information people need to help you. Now we see where some of the self control issues are. There is a way that someone said . Associate (junk) food with negative things. Reinforce the healthy food0
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