Boyfriends buying junk food...

VeryKatie

Have you talked to him, asking him for some support. Perhaps the compromise is he does't keep the junk food in the house, or you get something in to share that you've planned in to your calorie goal?

Ultimately though, you just need to be focused on what you really want - those crisps or that healthy body.

Can he maybe keep them somewhere where you can't find them?

TheStephil

When I first started to lose weight I had the same mentality. Junk food needed to be hidden from me, not allowed in the house, etc. I felt that if the food was around I would eat it. It didn't matter though. When I wanted junk food and it wasn't around the house, I went and got it. In fact, forcing myself to cut it out of my diet made me crave it more. It was all mental. It also put a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend and my family. My family had to make sure there were enough healthy foods at get togethers and felt guilty when they had dessert. My boyfriend was used to having his sweets and was great with self control. When I asked him to take them out of the house, it frustrated him and caused him to binge eat sweets at work since he couldn't eat them at home.

Fast forward 1.5 years. Our freezer has four different types of ice cream, my fridge has three different chocolates, there are caramels in the pantry, chips and other salty treats. I eat them all but I fit it into my day and into my macros. I have dessert of some sort every day, sometimes multiples. My boyfriend doesn't feel the need to hide candy or binge eat it. He asks me if I have calorie room for sweets and offers to bring me some or buy me an ice cream bar on his way home. I have a healthier look on food and "junk food" doesn't exist. There is no bad or good food out there.

audrast

I'm really disappointed with the people replying here with things like, "Just don't eat it," or worse, "Break up with him and move out." Not helpful, people! She's looking for advice at how to make it work. It CAN actually work.

Willpower isn't just a light switch you turn on and off. You have to learn how to deal with your temptations in a positive way. You have to learn what sets you off, if there is a certain time of month you're weaker (ladies, you understand), if certain moods make you more prone to cheat... all this takes time and positive support. That's why the rest of us are here, right? POSITIVE support. Telling OP to just buck up and not give in is not helping at all.

Give her actual advice, strategies she can try so she can determine what helps her develop a strong sense of willpower. I've used things like keeping an actual pen and paper journal of my diet and exercise and thoughts for the day. Or maybe try making a photo collage of things that motivate you. Brainstorming here, a picture of a healthy heart, a 5k run finish line, a bikini youd love to wear, a picture of yourself that makes you feel happy and pretty. Even something as simple as a rubber band around your wrist that you snap every time you have the urge to cheat.

As to the people who tell her to break up and move out ... a life partner isn't somebody who mirrors you. Two people can be suited for each other and not have the same diet, routines, eating patterns, etc. It just takes work to find out how to mesh successfully. Dumping everybody who isn't exactly like you is going to lead to a lonely life for anybody who doesn't have a doppleganger walking around. For example, I'm a long term vegetarian, should I just avoid everybody who eats meat? No, that's silly. OP isn't saying the guy is deliberately sabotaging her (and if he is, OP, that's a different matter). So the solution is for them to talk about how they can MESH their choices so they both can have what they want.

Let's keep the dialog motivational and positive. After all, this section is called "General Diet and Weightloss HELP," not "snark." And if you don't have something genuine to contribute, just lurk and move on.

bohoT

I have zero willpower with snacks and a husband that snacks all day long. So as crazy as it sounds, we actually made a list of junk food that he likes but I don’t really. He keeps that around and I just make sure that I have sensible stuff around for me to eat. He can always bring the stuff that I don’t want taunting me to work and eat it there.

This isn’t fool proof because sometimes he knowingly brings me something I love but really shouldn’t eat. He is the diet suicide bomber. I totally feel your pain.

r8ph

I noticed that it's easier for me to resist this negative temptation when I drink at least 2 liters of water per day. When I don't do it, these are the days that I can't resist and I eat crap in huge proportion.

So my solution would be to really drink a lot of water and if the temptation is still too strong, just eat a little of what is tempting you. Be sure to log it in your journal. Maybe you could go for a little walk if you exceeded your calories.

But do not deprive yourself by NEVER eating those things. I tried that and ended up eating like an obese for 3 months. That's not a long term realistic way to lose weight and maintain it.

cdahl383

If you like junk food, then continue to eat it, just fit it into your calories for the day and keep the portions small.

LAT1963

You need to have a little sit-down chat with your boyfriend. He needs to understand how important losing fat is to you, and how much of a problem it is when he brings tempting foods around all the time. Ask if he can buy single-serving treats for himself and eat them before coming home, as an example. Make it clear you are not trying to deprive him of treats, but if he wants his girlfriend to be "the hot chick" someday, he needs to support you.

It's possible that he's subconsciously sabotaging you for fear you will become "the hot chick" and some other guy will take you away from him. So keep that possibility in the back of your mind as you talk to him, and if it seems true, try to reassure him that you are doing this primarily for your own health and well-being. You won't leave if some other guy hits on you--but you *might* leave if he is not supportive of your healthy lifestyle.

And seriously, if he values his cookies more than you, then it really *is* time to break up. Sorry.

LAT1963

If you like junk food, then continue to eat it, just fit it into your calories for the day and keep the portions small.

seconded, thirded, or whatever-ed reinforcing this idea. So long as there are no trans fats (which your body has no mechanism to get rid of, so when you die you still have trans fats you ate as a toddler clogging your arteries somewhere.)

angf0679

My issue is with my mom. It seems whenever she buys something for her grandsons (my nephews) she buys the same thing for me. Why? I haven't figured that out yet! I savor them and make sure it fits into my calorie goal. Makes the yummy goodness of whatever it is to last longer!

This weekend I got the BEST type of snack. At my church the ladies exchange names and do a "Secret Sis". You do things for each other in secret throughout the year. Sunday I got a gift bag FULL of the Thinsations that I love! I was very excited to to open that! I won't have to buy any for awhile! :laugh:

maleckathryn

What has worked for me is my boyfriend hides his snacks. So i dont see them and am not tempted. I know it might soundf silly. but this way we both have what we want. Im not tempted and he gets to have his snacks when he wantsit. he is much more controled when it comes ot it, i would sit down and eat the whole bag.

Focusedjessy

My husband and I have discussed this same issue at length. He is the type that can have an opened package of chips sitting on the shelf for two weeks. I explained to him how difficult it is to me to have the in the house. How I have to say "no" a thousand times and that USUALLY I can say no. but when the snack is right there in the house and I'm alone with it, I struggle with saying no to myself over and over and over again until one time, I'm eventually gonna say "yes" It only takes ONE little time that I was weak and said "yes" to cancel out a thousand times I was strong and said "no'

Fortunately he understands now and we reached an arrangement that works for both of us. He brings in just what he's going to eat that day or for breakfast the next day. If he wants Ice cream, he buys one or two dove ice cream bars and puts them in the freezer. I don't care if he sits there and eats them in front of me, I want him to enjoy the foods that he likes heck, I even make him special foods that he likes that I choose not to eat due to their caloric density.. I just don't want these delicious calorie dense foods around the house for a week.

It's all about compromise. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask him to never eat these things or never bring them in the house because it's his house too, but it also wouldn't be fair for him to load up the house with my favorite sweets and snacks and then just say to me "have willpower and don't eat it". The compromise we reached of him only bringing in the snacks that he's going to eat within a certain time frame works well for us. I hope you can find something that works for the two of you .

This is exactly what I am trying to get my boyfriend to understand. He has chips in the house because he takes a Ziploc bag full in his lunch box daily. I asked him if he could just leave the entire bag in his work van so I wouldn't be tempted. Chips are my weakness! He says I should just say no and have the will power. He is right but I wish he would compromise. I'm still working on it.

kenyainez

What he brings home is cool IF you can fit one or two items in your macros. If you can do this have at it. This way you're not obsessing over all of the "goodies" in the cabinet an the pantry. If you can't, then just excercise self control and walk away. Don't let it sabotage your results. It would be great if our loved ones were on the same page as we were with eating but they don't have to be and just because they're not doesn't mean they love us any less. At the end of the day, this is your journey, not his, so he doesn't have to stop eating anything if he doesn't want to. It's up to you to make the sacrifices and resist the temptation to achieve what it is you're trying to achieve. Stand strong, stay focused, and do you.

TMski1000

Just because he brings it home doesn't mean you have to eat it, you have to practice self control. Fill your cabinets with healthy stuff to munch on

yopeeps025

It just depends on the person because for me I know that with past gf if there was a problem like this I would compromise. If the problem is real severe than I would just get rid of it. It is like having a SO with alcoholism. Is it ok for them to tell you to never have alcohol in the house. Then again alcohol and energy dense empty calories do not compare.

Jacwhite22

This is your journey, not his.
Be proud of yourself for staying away from his junk.
I buy junk food for my husband, I do not touch it, it is his!
( It works for me)

You don't touch your husband's junk?

meridianova

He apparently wants to stop eating junk too but he doesn't have the dedication to hold back from buying it.

unless those bags of chips and cookies and whatnot are literally ambushing him in the grocery store, duct-taping him down to the floor while they hijack his grocery cart and jump in, then sawing off the top of his head and inserting electrodes into his brain to control his arms and legs, stealing his wallet and paying for themselves at the checkout (not to mention tying him to his chair and shoving themselves down his throat while he screams for mercy), then all he has to do is simply not walk down that aisle in the grocery store.

we all make food choices. we all decide what we eat or don't eat. we all have ultimate control over what it is we put into our mouths. for me, for a long time it was a lot easier to not buy junk food than it was to ignore it in the pantry. my husband will buy chips and other junk-snacky food, but i've decided that the stuff in those bags is no more a food than a stapler or couch cushion is food.

you can also try a few different tactics to get him to stop. set up an incentive account for some big event or item that he really wants. figure out how much he's spending in bags of chips each week and put that amount in cash in a jar on a high shelf. he'll see how quickly the funds add up and can be going toward something more awesome than a bag of whatevers. if there's no real big-ticket item incentive, see if you can get him to switch to different types of snacks, like nuts or seeds, anything that'll have a better nutritional profile than chips. or look into getting a mandolin slicer and make your own veggie chips at home. you can flavor them any way you want, and that way you're getting a lot better nutrition than anything mass marketed.

whyyesitsneke

I've seen a lot of advice here and mine is along the same lines:

Talk to him. if this is important to you, perhaps he can keep his snacks somewhere other than where you would grab them easily.

Perhaps he likes snacks you don't? Get him those, if thats the case.

Have healthy alternatives ready.

If you do indulge, keep track of it.

Best of luck, OP!

ClairePear14

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

randomtai

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What? :huh: :huh: :huh:

CipherZero

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

This isn't a ED forum and there's zero evidence from OP that what you're saying is even remotely the case. And if she did have an ED, what's generally a weight loss forum is just about the LAST place to ask.

cantobean

I know most people are saying it's your responsibility to avoid it, and you should be able to have food in your house that you just don't eat, but I would find that really hard.

Maybe I have a lack of will power. Some things I'd be fine leaving. But others would be tough. Even if I COULD do it, I wouldn't want those things in my house everyday tempting me on the off chance that I would break down.

It's great so many people can resist and live with a partner who eats a completely different diet from them. This simply would not work for me and my husband. I'm glad we're on the journey of health and fitness together. He motivates me and we keep each other accountable. There are the occasional things he will eat that I won't, but those usually happen outside of our house (treats at work, beers with the guys, etc.).

Sorry if this isn't helpful, but I wanted to say I really do sympathize with your problem. I'm sure I wouldn't do well with that.

ChelseaWelseyKins

Girl, I know EXACTLY where you're at. My fiance was the first one to PUSH me to get healthy/lean. Then he started eating junk and tried pushing it on me like "One bite won't hurt" or "you can have some, c'mon". It's FRUSTRATING. I had to have a long talk with him and tell him that I didn't appreciate what he was doing and that it was making it harder for me to lose weight. Suggest that he keeps a "stash" of hidden junk food wherever he wants it, but keeps it away from you I'm sure he'd understand and he still gets his junk food!

yopeeps025

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What are you trying to say OP?

martinel2099

Anyone have a boyfriend who loves to buy junk food?

Well, I do. And it's bloody difficult.
I'm trying to cut that kind of stuff out of my diet, so I can finally start to lose weight again'. But he seems to buy a load of junk food when he's at home on the weekends.

I know I should be able to control myself but I'm human and fat, so I can't.

I've tried to get him to stop but he seems to be addicted to sugar or something, so he isn't going to stop buying this stuff.

How do I resist the urge. What am I supposed to say to myself? What am I supposed to do?

You need to learn to develop a healthy relationship with food. Your boyfriend purchasing junk food for himself is not the problem, but rather your inability to control yourself around it.

The question I have to ask, are you eliminating junk food / treats from your diet completely? That's where you are going wrong if you are. You can lose weight eating all of your favorite foods as long as you eat at a calorie deficit. If you want to take your nutrition into account too you can manage your macros as well.

Focus on long term weight loss vs short term. If your weight loss goal is too aggressive, make it less aggressive (Ex, if you are working on 1lb per week, try .5 lbs per week). Also, hit the gym and be more active. Do it to improve your health, but the bonus is you can have more treats.

jtarmom

My husband does the same. It really wasn't realistic for me to cut it out completely, so I just made myself measure out the portion that fit into my calories for the day. At first he made fun of me for measuring it out, but when he saw I was serious the junk food slowly stopped showing up as frequently. And once the pounds started falling off even with the treats, I was happier that this was something I could live with.

Good luck - I feel your pain. I hope you can find something that works for you.

sculli123

Substitute the junk food with heatlhy foods that taste equally as good. You can't change other people, don't try I wasted 12 years trying with my soon to be ex.

willrun4bagels

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

This isn't a ED forum and there's zero evidence from OP that what you're saying is even remotely the case. And if she did have an ED, what's generally a weight loss forum is just about the LAST place to ask.

OP is the one that posted the comment you quoted.

ClairePear14

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

This isn't a ED forum and there's zero evidence from OP that what you're saying is even remotely the case. And if she did have an ED, what's generally a weight loss forum is just about the LAST place to ask.

I am OP.

CSARdiver

I would be the boyfriend (or husband) in this scenario. I keep the junk food around even though I'm eating healthier and don't buy into purging. Long term weight loss is only sustainable through a long term strategy - keeping it simple. Everything in moderation and exercise.

You have to love the benefits of health more than the benefits of eating junk food.

ClairePear14

[warning: I'm going to give a brutal opinion. Here be dragons]

Is it REALLY that hard to NOT eat something that doesn't fit whatever program you're on?

I always get a laugh out if threads like this. YOUR health is YOUR issue, not your partner's. If you don't want to eat the chips, cookies, whatever food is on your "do not devour" list, don't eat it. If you do, that's your problem. Trying to foist your own lack of control is what you eat onto your purported loved ones is simply avoidance of your own responsibility in your eating.

My wife forever buys things I used to eat regularly, two years on in my weight loss and fitness then acts surprised when I don't eat them - even after telling her repeatedly that I'm not going to as if it's some personal vendetta against her.

Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.

How about, you consider that everyone is different and that not everybody's mind processes the same.
What if someone had a mental disorder - that changed their relationship with food badly and just asked for some advice?

What are you trying to say OP?

I really didn't want my OLD issue being mentioned but people don't seem to understand.
Yes, I had an eating disorder. It was BED (binge eating disorder) and it still lingers around in my head.
That's why it's such a battle for me. I'm fighting myself mentally.

This didn't need to go on a ED form because I wasn't making that the issue.

I was only simply asking for some advice on how to resist the food without mentioning the issue.

And just to clarify to everyone who doesn't seem to get it and I'll put it in caps lock so you see it:
I AM NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY BOYFRIENDS DIET. HE WANTS TO HIMSELF BUT DOESNT FEEL LIKE HE CAN. HE CAN EAT WHATEVER HE WANTS. I WAS JUST SAYING I NEEDED HELP WITH CONTROL. THAT IS ALL.