Triggers I notice on MFP
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SHBoss1673
Posts: 7,161 Member
So over the course of 4 years of not only losing weight, but gaining knowledge about the human body, metabolism, and the psychology of food, I've picked up a few things, learned a few things, and experienced a lot of emotions.
I always try to put things together and make sense out of it. Like a jigsaw puzzle if you will.
One thing I notice on MFP forums quite a bit are triggers that people have. Things I would never have thought twice about 5 years ago scream at me now like they are in flashing neon. In 90% of the cases when I see them, the people posting them don't even realize they are triggers.
Some are "pet peeves" or annoyances, some are negative (and even positive) emotions based around food and body image. Some are habits that people post about. Usually if I see an obvious one, I'll take a quick look at the poster's profile and see if there are any hints that further develop my suppositions. Many times there are. I'm not going to point anything out here, that would be rude of me. But I'll put out a call to everyone, a challenge if you will, something I've done with myself in the past, to examine your own thought processes and see what triggers you have, and maybe, just maybe you'll be able to trace these triggers back to mental issues that are part of the underlying reasons for your weight gain. Remember, in many many cases, weight gain is a symptom of psychological trauma or disassociation, and solving the underlying cause, can really help with the weight issue.
Here's a completely fictitious example I just made up. If this hits close to home for anyone, remember, I didn't draw this from any real person's life, I may have heard many many stories and drawn upon those facts to create the situation, but never was I told this story.
Jane Doe is obese, she's in her mid 30's and works at an office. She's tried to lose weight most of her adult life. When she was 18 and in college, she was trying to keep the college beer and bad food weight off (even though she was considered at a very healthy weight, she felt she was a little fat and wanted to lose). Back then getting the weight off was relatively easy, a couple of weeks eating nothing but salads and going to the school gym to work on the bike or elliptical and she dropped that little 5 or 10 lbs. But it always came back eventually.
When she left school and started to work full time, money was an issue (as it always is), free time became less, and priorities changed, she still on and off dieted, with limited success, but gained about 15 lbs over the next 3 years anyway. She thought about it once in a while with some small amount of shame and guilt, but never really took control of the situation. Eventually she was married, and had a child, gained about 25 lbs more weight, and was now on the verge of the obese category. She never even noticed until one day, at about 30, she overheard some rather caustic stuff said about her weight by a co-worker in hushed tones. Embarrassed and angry, she decided to lose weight, took on a rather extreme diet, lost 30 lbs, and strutted her stuff. Within 6 months the weight came back with a vengeance, not only did she gain the 30 back, but packed on another 15 as well. Now she's solidly obese, doesn't go to the gym regularly, has a sit down job, a 9 year old kid demanding attention, and a husband who is losing interest in her physically. She decided to change, this time really change. No more diets to lose, no more yoyoing up and down, she sits down to start researching, and finds MFP, starts working on her food, her exercise, eating with a decent deficit, and slowly starts dropping weight. She hits a bit of a wall, and has been stuck for a couple of months with minimal weight loss. She's at a loss for what the problem is, she follows her routine (mostly), tries to stick to her calories (usually), works out 3 times a week moderately hard, and tries to eat relatively healthy.
Reasonable story, so what's the issue?
I don't know, but I can tell you there are gaps here, mental gaps. Triggers if you will. Mentally we know the highlights, but not the things that really bother her deep down where there's no place to hide. Food is so intimately tied in with psyche today that most of us tie food to comfort and safety. I'd say that she has triggers, maybe she doesn't realize when she's eating, maybe she's lying to us, or herself without even realizing it. I'll be she gets offended at certain topics easier than is reasonable (trigger), maybe she finds herself in certain situations where she just can't seem to take control of her eating, like with certain friends or at certain locations (trigger), could be that when she has certain emotions she stresses much more (trigger), or that she's subconsciously backing off her "best effort" when working out (trigger). Triggers are like pieces of the puzzle. The don't tell you your issues, but they give you clues.
Essentially it boils down to confronting your own problems, you don't have to solve them, you just have to recognize them. Once you do that, you eliminate a major roadblock for many people to becoming truly healthy. Seeing your mental person "naked" with all it's faults is eye opening. Really confronting your shortcomings (and I don't mean the fat rolls, I mean the truly nasty stuff like bias's and hatreds and fears) and identifying them can be nothing short of an epiphany, don't sell yourself short, be strong, strive to be better, it really will help physically as well as mentally.
I always try to put things together and make sense out of it. Like a jigsaw puzzle if you will.
One thing I notice on MFP forums quite a bit are triggers that people have. Things I would never have thought twice about 5 years ago scream at me now like they are in flashing neon. In 90% of the cases when I see them, the people posting them don't even realize they are triggers.
Some are "pet peeves" or annoyances, some are negative (and even positive) emotions based around food and body image. Some are habits that people post about. Usually if I see an obvious one, I'll take a quick look at the poster's profile and see if there are any hints that further develop my suppositions. Many times there are. I'm not going to point anything out here, that would be rude of me. But I'll put out a call to everyone, a challenge if you will, something I've done with myself in the past, to examine your own thought processes and see what triggers you have, and maybe, just maybe you'll be able to trace these triggers back to mental issues that are part of the underlying reasons for your weight gain. Remember, in many many cases, weight gain is a symptom of psychological trauma or disassociation, and solving the underlying cause, can really help with the weight issue.
Here's a completely fictitious example I just made up. If this hits close to home for anyone, remember, I didn't draw this from any real person's life, I may have heard many many stories and drawn upon those facts to create the situation, but never was I told this story.
Jane Doe is obese, she's in her mid 30's and works at an office. She's tried to lose weight most of her adult life. When she was 18 and in college, she was trying to keep the college beer and bad food weight off (even though she was considered at a very healthy weight, she felt she was a little fat and wanted to lose). Back then getting the weight off was relatively easy, a couple of weeks eating nothing but salads and going to the school gym to work on the bike or elliptical and she dropped that little 5 or 10 lbs. But it always came back eventually.
When she left school and started to work full time, money was an issue (as it always is), free time became less, and priorities changed, she still on and off dieted, with limited success, but gained about 15 lbs over the next 3 years anyway. She thought about it once in a while with some small amount of shame and guilt, but never really took control of the situation. Eventually she was married, and had a child, gained about 25 lbs more weight, and was now on the verge of the obese category. She never even noticed until one day, at about 30, she overheard some rather caustic stuff said about her weight by a co-worker in hushed tones. Embarrassed and angry, she decided to lose weight, took on a rather extreme diet, lost 30 lbs, and strutted her stuff. Within 6 months the weight came back with a vengeance, not only did she gain the 30 back, but packed on another 15 as well. Now she's solidly obese, doesn't go to the gym regularly, has a sit down job, a 9 year old kid demanding attention, and a husband who is losing interest in her physically. She decided to change, this time really change. No more diets to lose, no more yoyoing up and down, she sits down to start researching, and finds MFP, starts working on her food, her exercise, eating with a decent deficit, and slowly starts dropping weight. She hits a bit of a wall, and has been stuck for a couple of months with minimal weight loss. She's at a loss for what the problem is, she follows her routine (mostly), tries to stick to her calories (usually), works out 3 times a week moderately hard, and tries to eat relatively healthy.
Reasonable story, so what's the issue?
I don't know, but I can tell you there are gaps here, mental gaps. Triggers if you will. Mentally we know the highlights, but not the things that really bother her deep down where there's no place to hide. Food is so intimately tied in with psyche today that most of us tie food to comfort and safety. I'd say that she has triggers, maybe she doesn't realize when she's eating, maybe she's lying to us, or herself without even realizing it. I'll be she gets offended at certain topics easier than is reasonable (trigger), maybe she finds herself in certain situations where she just can't seem to take control of her eating, like with certain friends or at certain locations (trigger), could be that when she has certain emotions she stresses much more (trigger), or that she's subconsciously backing off her "best effort" when working out (trigger). Triggers are like pieces of the puzzle. The don't tell you your issues, but they give you clues.
Essentially it boils down to confronting your own problems, you don't have to solve them, you just have to recognize them. Once you do that, you eliminate a major roadblock for many people to becoming truly healthy. Seeing your mental person "naked" with all it's faults is eye opening. Really confronting your shortcomings (and I don't mean the fat rolls, I mean the truly nasty stuff like bias's and hatreds and fears) and identifying them can be nothing short of an epiphany, don't sell yourself short, be strong, strive to be better, it really will help physically as well as mentally.
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Replies
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Such a good post! My going to look at my habits and see what my trigger are! thanks for the post!0
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Wow it is scary how close you are to describing me! However I am in my mid 40's and not obese, just overweight. Hopefully I can stick with my exercise and healthier eating plan (and accountability) so I begin reverse the other way again. It is definitely inspiring to see people on here and a few facebook friends I have who have lost weight and adapted a healthier, more active lifestyle. It shows it can be done - and I want to join them!0
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REally interested, thanks for sharing
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Great post. :flowerforyou:0
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Bump to read later!0
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Thanks for this, there are huge triggers all around us. And, I absolutely believe that confronting them is crucial to losing weight.
If I can contribute/add a bit, I think one of the major psychological reasons that many people are overweight is a feeling of lack of control (this is also a major issue with people who suffer from binge eating disorder, anorexia or bulimia). Realizing that it was ME and only ME that had control over what went on with my body was my major breakthrough. It did two things: it made me feel like I was in control, and it forced me to take responsibility for all of my actions. Or, as my old trainer used to say when I said "but I can't" "Can't lives on won't street." There's almost nothing that we can't do...but there is so much that we won't do. If we say "I can't stop eating (insert food here)" what we really mean is "I won't stop eating..." Just my 2 cents.:flowerforyou:0 -
Thought provoking. Thanks!0
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great post!0
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Bump for later. Thanks for this! You've given me lots to think about.0
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Amen! Great post! I blogged about this in my own personal situation not long ago. As someone who's had weight loss surgery but is now eaty dense food again, I can only hold very small amounts in my stomach. My body will not let me "eat my emotions" any more. I have no idea but to face those "gaps", as you call them and, yes, in most of my cases they are emotional cues that I must stop, think about and deal with. Some days are exhausting but well worth it in the end. It's not just a nutritional and physiological learning process but psycho/social one as well.
Thanks for a great post!0 -
Man, I really like this post! Annnnd, I agree whole-heartedly. RIGHT ON!0
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Thanks for this, there are huge triggers all around us. And, I absolutely believe that confronting them is crucial to losing weight.
If I can contribute/add a bit, I think one of the major psychological reasons that many people are overweight is a feeling of lack of control (this is also a major issue with people who suffer from binge eating disorder, anorexia or bulimia). Realizing that it was ME and only ME that had control over what went on with my body was my major breakthrough. It did two things: it made me feel like I was in control, and it forced me to take responsibility for all of my actions. Or, as my old trainer used to say when I said "but I can't" "Can't lives on won't street." There's almost nothing that we can't do...but there is so much that we won't do. If we say "I can't stop eating (insert food here)" what we really mean is "I won't stop eating..." Just my 2 cents.:flowerforyou:
Oh I agree, control is a big problem. Maybe when you were young and impressionable, the times you felt safest and happiest were when your parents (or grand parents in some cases) all sat down and ate a big supper. Subconsciously over years of time, this becomes a retreat for you, a place you go to hide from problems. You can't always run to your parents for support, but you CAN always retreat to a nice meal, that eventually becomes boiled down in your primitive brain to food= safety or food=problem suppression. You may not even realize it. But it's there, for most of us it's there to one degree or another. So when life gets stressful and you are feeling overwhelmed, many people turn to food for comfort from those trying problems. Similarly, many people with eating disorders (like anorexia or bulimia) use the opposite function. When things in their life are out of control, they turn to the one thing they have supreme control over, their body. They translate control into denial, and until they resolve the control issues, they won't ever be free of the eating disorder.0 -
bumping for later - thanks!0
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Very powerful. We certainly all have triggers, I know some of mine, and you said what I am sure a lot of us need to hear!
btw ... GO PATRIOTS!0 -
It's funny (not Ha Ha funny, but interesting funny), I just browsed through the recent posts and found 3 very noticeable trigger posts. I won't point them out, but they are quite obvious in my mind.
OOh, I almost described the generic situations involved in what I read, that would have made the posts quite obvious, I wouldn't like that if someone did it to me, so I won't do that to someone else.
For the record, I've always had problems expressing myself, partly because of my family history, partly because of other things that I've since reconciled (mostly) in my life. And being what some would term as a "mentor" on here, is one of the ways I overcome my fear of putting myself out there. I have learned to be more forceful in my speech, and not to back down and concede to others wishes so much at the expense of my own. I still have a long way to go, but I'm working on it.
The point being, while I really do appreciate the kind words people say, I write this stuff as much for me as I do for you guys. I love helping, but I also love that I'm able to articulate myself on MFP (and in person now somewhat).0 -
It's so hard to figure out my trigger(s). But for me, it seems that food itself is the trigger. If it's there, I have a hard time not eating it, especially dessert foods!0
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It's so hard to figure out my trigger(s). But for me, it seems that food itself is the trigger. If it's there, I have a hard time not eating it, especially dessert foods!
Something I did for my first 3 months was carry a food journal. when you eat, or want to eat, you write down what ever thoughts are in your head, don't think, just write down the things you are thinking about. Sometimes you will get a clue that way. After a few weeks, go back and really look into what you're thinking about, patterns sometimes form. In my experience it's very rare that food is the actual issue, humans are born with hunger, we don't come wired to eat when we aren't hungry, that's a learned trait, which means it must be attached to some other primal emotion deep down.
Put it this way, your 3rd sentence is a neon sign to me. Flashing away. Saying "HEY, LOOK AT ME, I'M A BURIED EMOTIONAL ISSUE, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM, BUT YOU KNOW THAT I'M HERE NOW."
I'm not saying finding out the root cause is easy, it almost never is. It's buried for a good reason, your psyche may not be ready to deal with it. It's a decision we all need to make, whether we are strong enough to deal with our skeletons. These things are powerful. They can change your whole life, they can cause your personality to change drastically (if they are big enough issues), it's something to be wary of, but not something to shy away from. Go in with open eyes and I think you should be fine.0 -
I'm tagging in here, Banks.
If you feel like food is the trigger, it's important to really think about what associations certain foods have for you. I used to think that desserts were just good, and that's why I overate them. I actually associate them with my grandmother's house...which was a refuge for me, and always contained baked goods. I do notice that there are aspects to the food itself that once I start can trigger me to overeat (for me, sweets lead to physical cravings for more sweets, especially if I'm calorie-restricted) but what makes me start to eat sweets is almost always feelings of being overwhelmed or unsafe.
A therapist I once saw (who specialized in disordered eating) told me "I think for you, the urge to binge means you said "yes" to something you should have said "no" to." That was a life-changer for me, and that's the question I ask myself when I feel the pull of the bakery "What should you have said "no" to?"
Good thread...0 -
Thought provoking.... thanks!
Bump0
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