Triggers I notice on MFP

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  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    You know what, we're not just heroes. We're friggin' warrior survivors!
    Rwar!

    can I be one of the guys from the 300 then? They have cooler abs. Or maybe Brad Pitt from Troy, 6 of 1, half dozen of the other.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    You know what, we're not just heroes. We're friggin' warrior survivors!
    Rwar!

    can I be one of the guys from the 300 then? They have cooler abs. Or maybe Brad Pitt from Troy, 6 of 1, half dozen of the other.

    THIS IS.....M... F... P!!!!!!!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    bump! Thanks!

    Molly I love your ticker! I SO need that one right now!! WOOT!
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,737 Member
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    I think my two biggest triggers are: (1) equating overindulging with celebrations (birthdays, holidays, good report card, etc.), and (2) the physical addictive feeling of wanting to continue to overindulge once I have had a celebratory splurge. I think it's great to think about what our triggers are and how we can manage them. I don't think I have to avoid them all together, but I don't have to give in to them all the way either. I've learned that I don't have to celebrate every happy occasion by eating too much. I've also learned that an occasional splurge gives me pleasure, and I'm not going to give that up. I just need to be aware that the temptation will be there to continue down a path of binging and that it might be mentally and physically difficult to get myself back on track. Being aware gives me the strength to tell myself I will allow myself to eat too many Christmas cookies for a day or two but that I will knock it off after a very specific amount of time. I know that it may be hard, but I also know that it will pass, and I can make the choice to do that.

    My dad was a baker and cake decorator, and he was a really good cook too. I grew up as a "bakery brat," always having cake, doughnuts and cookies around me. Dad loved to come up with tasty creations, and he did it all the time. His last 20 years, he had diabetes, and even though he completely changed the way he ate from the moment he was diagnosed, he still made wonderful goodies for his loved ones. The fact that he couldn't eat much of what he created didn't stop him from getting pleasure out of bringing happiness to other people through the food he prepared. But he also spent those 20 years learning how to create healthy versions of so many things, and he taught everyone around him how they could do that too. He was such an amazing role model to me, and I feel like he taught me how to make better choices for myself without expecting everyone around me to change. I am sure he missed many of the foods he gave up, but I never, ever heard him complain about it. Not once. I joined MFP last August, a week after my dad passed away, and it's his memory that gives me the strength and inspiration to continue making good choices. I'm not nearly as good at it as he was, but I'm getting better.

    Happy New Year, Pop. I love and miss you. :heart:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    You know what, we're not just heroes. We're friggin' warrior survivors!
    Rwar!

    can I be one of the guys from the 300 then? They have cooler abs. Or maybe Brad Pitt from Troy, 6 of 1, half dozen of the other.

    THIS IS.....M... F... P!!!!!!!

    lol, all I can think of is that parody movie they made about the 300 and the chick that was suposed to be Paris Hilton, and her 1 peanut line, hilarious!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    bumping
  • petunia
    petunia Posts: 336 Member
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    Awesome post Banks.. Thanks for making me think, and for sharing...

    You rock! :drinker:
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
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    bounce. :tongue:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    lets see if I can find a cool new bump gif.


    nothingtoadd.gif
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
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    hmmmmmmmmmmm,:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: i need to think about this.:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: i never have!:huh: :huh: :huh:

    what might my triggers be?????:huh: :huh: :huh:

    :mad: i overeat when i'm angry:mad: (avoiding)?
    :bigsmile: i overeat when i'm happy:bigsmile: (celibrating)?
    :yawn: i'll overeat when i'm bored:yawn: (something enjoyable to do!)
    :ohwell: i'll overeat when i'm sad/alone:ohwell: (happy company)?
    :smokin: i'll overeat more when i'm at a party or gathering:smokin: (why?? free, new foods to try!)?

    but i workout (till sweaty) most every day.

    i'm obsessive. :cry:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    hmmmmmmmmmmm,:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: i need to think about this.:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: i never have!:huh: :huh: :huh:

    what might my triggers be?????:huh: :huh: :huh:

    :mad: i overeat when i'm angry:mad: (avoiding)?
    :bigsmile: i overeat when i'm happy:bigsmile: (celibrating)?
    :yawn: i'll overeat when i'm bored:yawn: (something enjoyable to do!)
    :ohwell: i'll overeat when i'm sad/alone:ohwell: (happy company)?
    :smokin: i'll overeat more when i'm at a party or gathering:smokin: (why?? free, new foods to try!)?

    but i workout (till sweaty) most every day.

    i'm obsessive. :cry:

    Go deeper, It's fine to say you're obsessive, but that's not the underlying reason for your issues, it's a symptom. What causes the obsessive behavior?
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
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    i'm obsessive. :cry:

    Go deeper, It's fine to say you're obsessive, but that's not the underlying reason for your issues, it's a symptom. What causes the obsessive behavior?

    i have never "analyzed" myself like this before. i' m not comfortable doing so.:ohwell: :ohwell: but i know this is/could be very good 4 me, so........:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    why might i be so obsessive??:huh: :huh:
    :yawn: it's easy?
    :devil: i do not think i like myself very much.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    i'm obsessive. :cry:

    Go deeper, It's fine to say you're obsessive, but that's not the underlying reason for your issues, it's a symptom. What causes the obsessive behavior?

    i have never "analyzed" myself like this before. i' m not comfortable doing so.:ohwell: :ohwell: but i know this is/could be very good 4 me, so........:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    why might i be so obsessive??:huh: :huh:
    :yawn: it's easy?
    :devil: i do not think i like myself very much.

    deeper, why don't you like yourself? And don't say your appearance, that's a circular argument. You need to find the beginning, what caused you first to not like your self. Nobody comes out of the womb unhappy with themselves. When did you first notice you didn't like yourself? Who was your biggest influence early on? Was there any traumatic event early in your life? If you can't think of one, think about the first time you can remember feeling this way.

    I know this stuff is uncomfortable for many people, but only by truly understanding our issues can we solve them.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    i'm obsessive. :cry:

    Go deeper, It's fine to say you're obsessive, but that's not the underlying reason for your issues, it's a symptom. What causes the obsessive behavior?

    i have never "analyzed" myself like this before. i' m not comfortable doing so.:ohwell: :ohwell: but i know this is/could be very good 4 me, so........:ohwell: :ohwell: :ohwell:

    why might i be so obsessive??:huh: :huh:
    :yawn: it's easy?
    :devil: i do not think i like myself very much.

    deeper, why don't you like yourself? And don't say your appearance, that's a circular argument. You need to find the beginning, what caused you first to not like your self. Nobody comes out of the womb unhappy with themselves. When did you first notice you didn't like yourself? Who was your biggest influence early on? Was there any traumatic event early in your life? If you can't think of one, think about the first time you can remember feeling this way.

    I know this stuff is uncomfortable for many people, but only by truly understanding our issues can we solve them.

    What I've been told (as a useful tool) is to ask yourself the question (about bad/obsessive behaviour) "what/who trained me to do this?" I'm willing to wager than someone, somewhere along the line trained you to not like yourself.

    And, this stuff is hard as hell, believe me...but it is so worth it.:flowerforyou:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    What I've been told (as a useful tool) is to ask yourself the question (about bad/obsessive behaviour) "what/who trained me to do this?" I'm willing to wager than someone, somewhere along the line trained you to not like yourself.

    And, this stuff is hard as hell, believe me...but it is so worth it.:flowerforyou:

    good one viv. that's a good way to think of it, I may steal that phrase.
  • oregonlady
    oregonlady Posts: 2,743 Member
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    man o man.:noway: :noway: :noway:
    :grumble: :grumble: deep stuff.:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: i've been thinking about this all day.:embarassed: :embarassed:

    i remember, in elementry school (and beyond) never feeling "good enough" or "popular" and that is what i wanted more than anything! :glasses: :glasses: :glasses: of corse, popularity is not important to me anymore, but i question my being "good enough" in my current life roles of mom, friend, daughter, etc...:huh: :huh: i know most people doubt themselves like that, but maybe my doubt is overboard??:huh: :huh:

    i talked w/ my hubby about this. i told him things i like and dont like about myself. he added to the like list:smooched: and explained why he feels i'm incorrect about most of the dislike list.:smooched: . he explained that some of my obsessive behavior is great! he says it helps me focus, explain, complete and other good traits, far better than most people!:bigsmile: :bigsmile:
    i can honestly say i feel i am the perfect wife (to him)! :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • Vscrazy
    Vscrazy Posts: 7
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    Man oh man. I just wrote a freakin book, but decided to put it in my blog instead of on here since it's mostly me talking to myself. :P

    I just wanna say... Banks, you're awesome. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I've been doing alot of mental healing recently and I think this was the next step.

    My blog is open if anyone wants to read my novel. :laugh:
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    Man oh man. I just wrote a freakin book, but decided to put it in my blog instead of on here since it's mostly me talking to myself. :P

    I just wanna say... Banks, you're awesome. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I've been doing alot of mental healing recently and I think this was the next step.

    My blog is open if anyone wants to read my novel. :laugh:

    read it. commented on it! Very proud of you V. Your story is EXACTLY why I posted this! Great work!
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
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    It may be time to BUMP!
  • ccgisme
    ccgisme Posts: 239 Member
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    I'll add another voice to the chorus of Banks and ViviaKay are awesome, heroes, 300 Warriors! (This is M...F...P...! LMAO) Can I sign up as a shield bearer and work my way up the ranks? :laugh:

    I recently realized that I've likely come as far as I can without understanding and overcoming my triggers. I started on MFP in February of 2009. Between February and July, I lost 42 lbs. I was eating healthy foods 80% of the time and I was exercising regularly. In August I started to back slide, by the end of December I had regained 32 of the 42 lbs and had to buy new clothes because I'd donated or sold my "fat clothes."

    :grumble:

    I got motivated at the end of December and for the first ten days of January and, wham, can't get up to hit the gym in the mornings, don't have time after work, yadda, yadda, yadda. :grumble: again

    So triggers - growing up, my dad routinely told me I was stupid or called me Stupid instead of Chris. I was a precocious kid, by age 4 I was using words he didn't understand. He would tell me I don't know what a word meant and I would define it for him. (And if you are guessing that didn't help matters, you get a gold star. :wink:).

    I was also severely asthmatic as a child - collapsed lung, trips to the ER for breathing treatments, medicines, steroids, etc.

    When my parents divorced (I was 7), I assumed it was my fault (after being told point blank, it had nothing to do with me). I lived with my mom who held down a few jobs and put me through private school. I spent a lot of time on my own.

    We lived 45 minutes from my high school. That meant I didn't know many of my classmates and I wasn't able to socialize easily until my junior year when I got a car. The not being good enough for my dad morphed into not being "good enough" to have many friends in high school. I trained for football the summer before my freshman year - worked out in the gym for conditioning. The first day in pads on the field, my body broke out into welts everywhere my skin had been exposed to the grass. My doctor said quit or wear a full body-suit. It was 90+ degrees with 90+% humidity that August, I quit. Some of the less kind players on the team bullied me for years as a consequence.

    My dad remarried. He became more unreliable - he had visitation every other weekend; when he showed up, he was always late. I had to compete for his attention with step-siblings and their children. My step-mother constantly compared me (unfavorably) with the step-brother who was a year older. I started working at 14 and by the time I was 16 work became an excuse not to see my dad - easier to shut him out than to be hurt (it took years to realize I'd done this bit of self-preservation).

    As an adult, I hold two conflicting beliefs: I don't think I'm good enough (in frighteningly generalized terms) and I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind to - black belt in karate, did it and a brown belt in aikido; get master's degree, done; ace the GRE to get into grad school, yep - not perfect but 100-200 points higher than the program required; get a job at a prestigious university, done. You get the picture, I've enjoyed success. I can point to events in my life that contradict every automatic negative thought I have, but those thoughts still have the power to sabotage my goals.

    I can even lose weight - a lot of weight - and I can follow a diet. But I seem not to be able to make the transition to keep the weight off. Is it that I think I'm not "smart" enough to be healthy? No, I know all the right things to do, I just don't do them with enough consistency for them to work! :noway:

    Food has been a constant companion - a source of comfort, an expression of love (no matter how misguided) - and a false friend.

    So it's the "good enough" in all it's many forms ("my boss is unhappy with me," "this project is tanking," "I can't possibly get all of this done," etc., etc.) that I have to work with. It's not easy, but I'm not going to spend the second half of my life the same way I spent the first half.

    Thanks again for the post, Banks. I read through the whole thread tonight and it's been very informative. Good luck to everyone who's struggling with triggers!

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