Dealing with a "food bully"?

skittle316

I'm going to throw this out, you are GORGEOUS.
2nd I know exactly what you've been going through. I was always a fat kid, and had this cousin M, she would ALWAYS comment on my weight. We were going to a all you can eat buffet, i didn't eat anything that day so clearly I would fill my plate. I filled it half with vegetables half with meat chicken,muscles, fish and lemon chicken/pork. I come to sit and she just looks at me with the most judgmental look on her face" That`s a lot of food, what happene to your diet". I wanted to punch her face, it pissed me off since at the time I had an eating disorder, I was starving myself and still people were commenting on my weight. So i told her "it's my body , i"ll put what i want in it. Focus on your own". When it comes to my weight, none of the comments were ever directed about my HEALTH, it was always about vanity. She didn't like how i looked after i gained weight back, but why the **** did she care.

To make it better, she ALWAYS complains about wanting to loose weight. Every single time I see her the words "i'll start my diet tomorrow" are always uttered. Now that I have lost weight, she can't help but suck up to me. I didn't mind because i genuinely want to help people loose fat and be healthy. Last week she talked so much **** about me, after she made a huge deal about food. Yet not once have i complained about how rude she was to me about my weight.

I've cried and purged because of her. I've learned to just cut people like her out, i'll still be nice but i`m NEVER helping her with her weight. She has a spiteful and hurtful personality, she`s entitled and only cares about herself. There`s no point of bothering with people like that.
My best advice i can give you is don`t say anything back when she makes comments. People like that love the reaction and the attention from others. If you don't acknowledge they're there, they end up being left with their own words. Keep doing what you`re doing, while she runs her mouth you get closer to your goal

aledba

Your sister isn't talking to you. She's putting on some kind of performance art for your dad/stepmom/grandma. I've seen this in my own family too. Especially when the family isn't all that emotionally close, they will take whatever excuse to be on the same side of a topic - in this case your weight. It's a way for them to feel closer by ostracizing you (and was probably something for her to bond with your stepmom over). Even though its not conscious on her part, it's really hurtful. I would still agree with posters about bringing up the topic to her (alone), but know that this won't necessarily change the behavior if she really wants to be accepted by your dad/stepmom/grandma. You will likely just have to ignore/avoid and keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing for yourself and your body. Great progress - and keep up the good work!

Except that the sister just got back from visiting the dad/stepmom, so who is this performance for? You sound like you have some unresolve issues...

angela233Z

I would make them sit down with me every time they said something and listen as I explain in painstaking detail why I am able to fit whatever food it was in to my plan. I would show them my target calories and explain what each macronutrient is and why it is important and how my choice of food fits my plan. I would run reports, print out charts detailing my progress, show projected weight loss, etc.. Then I would start asking them about their eating habits and offering tips on how they could improve.

But then I'm kind of a b-word.

great idea!!

CaptnSasquatch

Sounds like they are really unhappy people. Keep yourself safe and give them LOTS of space. I hope things get better!

janine2355

Tell her she needs counseling. Maybe you guys can do family therapy? If not, I would suggest you go to counseling, so that you can learn how to handle these horrible remarks and abuse and the therapist or psychiatrist can teach you how to become stronger. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm sending you a big hug! :flowerforyou: :frown:

PlanetVelma

Headphones and LOUD music when in the kitchen!!

My gram can be the same way, maybe not as bad... but close. I just learned over the years to ignore it or to be a smart *kitten* about it.

But it is only for a short time so perhaps you can power through with some change in strategy. Maybe start a little good food stash in your room (cereal, nuts, protein bars, etc.). I know it sucks but it would at least eliminate some trips to the kitchen.

Best of Luck and know that really... it's them being crazy not you!!

I 2nd the headphones and loud music! LOL

But then again, if it was my sister - I'd tell her to STFU and keep her opinions to her dam self. That usually curbs the unsolicited advice.

CaptnSasquatch

Funny as hell - and it sounds like a great idea!

hookilau

11 days.

exactly.
:blushing:

mcgetsskinny

AH it's rough. I'm getting married and I'm trying to lose weight, but I hate people conflating the two, like I MUST be trying to lose weight for the wedding. There's this notion that overweight people have to wear bags on their heads to be presentable in society.

Food bullies suck, especially in your family. She sounds like she has her own issues and she's just projecting onto you. Chin up lady.

sofaking6

As a big sister, my only concern would be if she's trying to get your attention i.e. if she has a reason to act out for you? I never knew until I was much older that my little brothers actually loved and needed me, because 99% of the time when they wanted to talk to me they'd let me know it by being complete jerks, just because they really didn't know any other way.

So, if you have any kind of feeling that she might be asking you for something in a totally dysfunctional way, pay attention to it. Maybe you could cover all the bases with something like, "Are you okay? You're acting really obsessed with me and I'm sure you're not actually that pathetic, so if you need to talk, I'm here for you."

-Mean Older Sis