How do you handle tantrums?
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Honesty may hurt, but I will not withhold it simply because you don't like what I have to say. The OP illustrates the point that NOBODY here (this includes parents) is an expert on raising children.
My point may have stung (ok, it definitely stung... a lot if someone didn't know themselves very well), yet it is absolutely valid.
Dude, you're giving parenting advice and your profile talks about hoping to find a girlfriend.
Honesty hurts.
Being childfree is a qualification for any girlfriend, and I'm up front about that from the beginning. I've turned down women who had or wanted kids in the past and will continue to do so.
Just out of curiosity...if you hate children so much, why come into a thread about children and then continue to post?
Since I also buy groceries, I'm as interested in getting children to stop throwing tantrums in a grocery store as anyone with or without kids.
You've also used this as a sounding block for how "good parents" are usually the ones with most problems, that there would be a holy war if there were child free restaurants, parents letting their "brats" get away with everything. You know, there really is only one issue that I had brought up...
I pointed out my observation. I never mentioned a "holy war" (who brought god into this?) but did bring up a specific circumstance with a bar/restaurant in GA that kicked out an unruly kid. You seem to be mischaracterizing what I've said.
I already responded to the original issue you brought up (as well as several others you brought up later). Many others (including lots of real parents, just like you) have also responded. So... after seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
At the end of the day, no one took your advice seriously, parents or non parents. I sympathize with people who have to be there when my 18 month old loses her cool over bubbles. Do I appreciate it being insinuated that she is a brat? No. Do I think you are in any position to be giving advice? No. Do I think you came here for cheap validation that not having kids is way better and now you get to judge parents? Yes.0 -
when you see a grumpy old man just blow a kiss and wink OP. It will confuse them enough to give you a chance to walk away.
freaking people are so amazing.
This is what I do to grumpy old men. Trust me, it works
As in, they are even more offended or now slightly confused?0 -
when you see a grumpy old man just blow a kiss and wink OP. It will confuse them enough to give you a chance to walk away.
freaking people are so amazing.
This is what I do to grumpy old men. Trust me, it works
I let my kids play on their lawn.0 -
when you see a grumpy old man just blow a kiss and wink OP. It will confuse them enough to give you a chance to walk away.
freaking people are so amazing.
This is what I do to grumpy old men. Trust me, it works
I let my kids play on their lawn.
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I was spanked. My IQ is considered gifted.Studies show that spanking lowers IQ. OP, advice on handling and avoiding tantrums can change with your kid's age. For example, now I can explain to my oldest kid that today's not a toy day before we even go into a store. When she was a year and a half she would hear sentences like this: "You are not getting a toy today." I had to learn to keep things more concise, to say "no," and to move on. When she was old enough to understand time outs she also learned that I can find a timeout corner anywhere.
Source on spanking and IQ: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20090924/kids-who-get-spanked-may-have-lower-iqs
So, I guess I could have been the next Einstein. Darn my parents!0 -
I was spanked. My IQ is considered gifted.Studies show that spanking lowers IQ. OP, advice on handling and avoiding tantrums can change with your kid's age. For example, now I can explain to my oldest kid that today's not a toy day before we even go into a store. When she was a year and a half she would hear sentences like this: "You are not getting a toy today." I had to learn to keep things more concise, to say "no," and to move on. When she was old enough to understand time outs she also learned that I can find a timeout corner anywhere.
Source on spanking and IQ: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20090924/kids-who-get-spanked-may-have-lower-iqs
So, I guess I could have been the next Einstein. Darn my parents!
I'd love to read the details on this study and how they controlled for the correlation between following parenting trends and educational level. I tend to take claims like this with a grain of salt.0 -
This post is not a "balance sheet" which needs to be reconciled for the auditors.
If you don't have children.. you just don't know.... stop trying rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic.
(I do have children and they have been angels and devils on the same day; I love them unconditionally)0 -
when you see a grumpy old man just blow a kiss and wink OP. It will confuse them enough to give you a chance to walk away.
freaking people are so amazing.
This is what I do to grumpy old men. Trust me, it works
As in, they are even more offended or now slightly confused?
meh, as long as they're offended and leave0 -
When my very willful daughter was 5, we were in the grocery store and she thought it was a fun game to keep running off and hiding.
Yes, I agree. If you see a parent spanking, it's not done right because it should be done in private, not publicly. With small children, training at home is key; with my older children, I could tell them that their behavior had earned them an at-home spanking. Yes, follow-through is HARD, and a commitment of self-sacrificing love on the part of the parent.one of the problems with spankings though is (at least in my experience) parents very seldom do it right. Doing it out of anger, misplaced anger, doing it without an explanation to the child....etc.....
No matter how you choose to parent you really need to make sure you're consistent with your follow through. You threaten something? spankings, or time out...you make sure you do it. You say no one time? You better say no the next time.
that said...follow through is HARD.
I took her aside the first three times and explained to her about stranger danger, about bad behavior, you name it, I said it. On the fourth time, she got a spanking. In the grocery store, in public. And she didn't run off again.
I guess I did that wrong ...0 -
Honesty may hurt, but I will not withhold it simply because you don't like what I have to say. The OP illustrates the point that NOBODY here (this includes parents) is an expert on raising children.
My point may have stung (ok, it definitely stung... a lot if someone didn't know themselves very well), yet it is absolutely valid.
Dude, you're giving parenting advice and your profile talks about hoping to find a girlfriend.
Honesty hurts.
Being childfree is a qualification for any girlfriend, and I'm up front about that from the beginning. I've turned down women who had or wanted kids in the past and will continue to do so.
Just out of curiosity...if you hate children so much, why come into a thread about children and then continue to post?
Since I also buy groceries, I'm as interested in getting children to stop throwing tantrums in a grocery store as anyone with or without kids.
You've also used this as a sounding block for how "good parents" are usually the ones with most problems, that there would be a holy war if there were child free restaurants, parents letting their "brats" get away with everything. You know, there really is only one issue that I had brought up...
I pointed out my observation. I never mentioned a "holy war" (who brought god into this?) but did bring up a specific circumstance with a bar/restaurant in GA that kicked out an unruly kid. You seem to be mischaracterizing what I've said.
I already responded to the original issue you brought up (as well as several others you brought up later). Many others (including lots of real parents, just like you) have also responded. So... after seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
At the end of the day, no one took your advice seriously, parents or non parents. I sympathize with people who have to be there when my 18 month old loses her cool over bubbles. Do I appreciate it being insinuated that she is a brat? No. Do I think you are in any position to be giving advice? No. Do I think you came here for cheap validation that not having kids is way better and now you get to judge parents? Yes.
OK, but you didn't answer my question: After seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?0 -
OK, but you didn't answer my question: After seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
Why does it matter to you? Because she will probably end up doing it wrong to you anyway...0 -
I was spanked. My IQ is considered gifted.Studies show that spanking lowers IQ. OP, advice on handling and avoiding tantrums can change with your kid's age. For example, now I can explain to my oldest kid that today's not a toy day before we even go into a store. When she was a year and a half she would hear sentences like this: "You are not getting a toy today." I had to learn to keep things more concise, to say "no," and to move on. When she was old enough to understand time outs she also learned that I can find a timeout corner anywhere.
Source on spanking and IQ: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20090924/kids-who-get-spanked-may-have-lower-iqs
So, I guess I could have been the next Einstein. Darn my parents!
I'd love to read the details on this study and how they controlled for the correlation between following parenting trends and educational level. I tend to take claims like this with a grain of salt.
Ditto, except to add that I tend to take my grains of salt with Patron and lime.0 -
Honesty may hurt, but I will not withhold it simply because you don't like what I have to say. The OP illustrates the point that NOBODY here (this includes parents) is an expert on raising children.
My point may have stung (ok, it definitely stung... a lot if someone didn't know themselves very well), yet it is absolutely valid.
Dude, you're giving parenting advice and your profile talks about hoping to find a girlfriend.
Honesty hurts.
Being childfree is a qualification for any girlfriend, and I'm up front about that from the beginning. I've turned down women who had or wanted kids in the past and will continue to do so.
Just out of curiosity...if you hate children so much, why come into a thread about children and then continue to post?
Since I also buy groceries, I'm as interested in getting children to stop throwing tantrums in a grocery store as anyone with or without kids.
You've also used this as a sounding block for how "good parents" are usually the ones with most problems, that there would be a holy war if there were child free restaurants, parents letting their "brats" get away with everything. You know, there really is only one issue that I had brought up...
I pointed out my observation. I never mentioned a "holy war" (who brought god into this?) but did bring up a specific circumstance with a bar/restaurant in GA that kicked out an unruly kid. You seem to be mischaracterizing what I've said.
I already responded to the original issue you brought up (as well as several others you brought up later). Many others (including lots of real parents, just like you) have also responded. So... after seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
At the end of the day, no one took your advice seriously, parents or non parents. I sympathize with people who have to be there when my 18 month old loses her cool over bubbles. Do I appreciate it being insinuated that she is a brat? No. Do I think you are in any position to be giving advice? No. Do I think you came here for cheap validation that not having kids is way better and now you get to judge parents? Yes.
OK, but you didn't answer my question: After seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
I haven't decided. That is my ultimate decision to make. Well, unless I happen to need to go grocery shopping in an area where you live. God forbid my child throws a fit in your mighty presence.0 -
Ditto, except to add that I tend to take my grains of salt with Patron and lime.
I'll be right over!
ETA: I'll bring limes!0 -
Thank goodness we have a law that forbids any kind of physical abuse including smacking and spanking of children.0
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OK, but you didn't answer my question: After seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
Why does it matter to you? Because she will probably end up doing it wrong to you anyway...
Yup. If I were her, I'd probably need to try a few things before I found something that worked with that particular child.0 -
bump0
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I was spanked. My IQ is considered gifted.Studies show that spanking lowers IQ. OP, advice on handling and avoiding tantrums can change with your kid's age. For example, now I can explain to my oldest kid that today's not a toy day before we even go into a store. When she was a year and a half she would hear sentences like this: "You are not getting a toy today." I had to learn to keep things more concise, to say "no," and to move on. When she was old enough to understand time outs she also learned that I can find a timeout corner anywhere.
Source on spanking and IQ: http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20090924/kids-who-get-spanked-may-have-lower-iqs
So, I guess I could have been the next Einstein. Darn my parents!
I'd love to read the details on this study and how they controlled for the correlation between following parenting trends and educational level. I tend to take claims like this with a grain of salt.
Ditto, except to add that I tend to take my grains of salt with Patron and lime.
Knock yourselves out. From a quick search I think this is the page for the guy who lead one of the studies.
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/#Papersavailable0 -
Honesty may hurt, but I will not withhold it simply because you don't like what I have to say. The OP illustrates the point that NOBODY here (this includes parents) is an expert on raising children.
My point may have stung (ok, it definitely stung... a lot if someone didn't know themselves very well), yet it is absolutely valid.
Dude, you're giving parenting advice and your profile talks about hoping to find a girlfriend.
Honesty hurts.
Being childfree is a qualification for any girlfriend, and I'm up front about that from the beginning. I've turned down women who had or wanted kids in the past and will continue to do so.
Just out of curiosity...if you hate children so much, why come into a thread about children and then continue to post?
Since I also buy groceries, I'm as interested in getting children to stop throwing tantrums in a grocery store as anyone with or without kids.
You've also used this as a sounding block for how "good parents" are usually the ones with most problems, that there would be a holy war if there were child free restaurants, parents letting their "brats" get away with everything. You know, there really is only one issue that I had brought up...
I pointed out my observation. I never mentioned a "holy war" (who brought god into this?) but did bring up a specific circumstance with a bar/restaurant in GA that kicked out an unruly kid. You seem to be mischaracterizing what I've said.
I already responded to the original issue you brought up (as well as several others you brought up later). Many others (including lots of real parents, just like you) have also responded. So... after seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
At the end of the day, no one took your advice seriously, parents or non parents. I sympathize with people who have to be there when my 18 month old loses her cool over bubbles. Do I appreciate it being insinuated that she is a brat? No. Do I think you are in any position to be giving advice? No. Do I think you came here for cheap validation that not having kids is way better and now you get to judge parents? Yes.
OK, but you didn't answer my question: After seeing all of the responses, what have you decided to try next time?
I haven't decided. That is my ultimate decision to make. Well, unless I happen to need to go grocery shopping in an area where you live. God forbid my child throws a fit in your mighty presence.
Please come back and share when you figure out what works.
BTW, It wouldn't necessarily be near where I live. I travel the US extensively and I even shop at grocery stores occasionally in other states. I've been in grocery stores from New York to California and in between.
For what it's worth: if you met me in person, you would think differently of me. I actually spare death stares for when it gets really over the top or the kid is throwing things towards me or is running into me or trying to talk directly to me... usually screams annoy me, but I do not visibly react. The most common response I get from parents when I do show annoyance is an apology. And then I try to be nice in their time of struggle and say "it's ok," but I won't lie here: It annoys me much more than I let on. So if you do see me in a store, and your kid is being a brat yet I do not look annoyed... you should remember that I AM actually annoyed; I'm just trying to be nice. That doesn't mean I don't want you to do something about it.0 -
When my very willful daughter was 5, we were in the grocery store and she thought it was a fun game to keep running off and hiding.
Yes, I agree. If you see a parent spanking, it's not done right because it should be done in private, not publicly. With small children, training at home is key; with my older children, I could tell them that their behavior had earned them an at-home spanking. Yes, follow-through is HARD, and a commitment of self-sacrificing love on the part of the parent.one of the problems with spankings though is (at least in my experience) parents very seldom do it right. Doing it out of anger, misplaced anger, doing it without an explanation to the child....etc.....
No matter how you choose to parent you really need to make sure you're consistent with your follow through. You threaten something? spankings, or time out...you make sure you do it. You say no one time? You better say no the next time.
that said...follow through is HARD.
I took her aside the first three times and explained to her about stranger danger, about bad behavior, you name it, I said it. On the fourth time, she got a spanking. In the grocery store, in public. And she didn't run off again.
I guess I did that wrong ...
When my kid was two she ran out of a store while I was paying. I caught her, we had a talk about it as much at her level as I could manage, and she started to do it again another time we went out. So I said "Okay, bye!" and hid on an aisle. I could see her the whole time (yay security mirrors) and it scared the bejeebus out of her.
On the way home we had another conversation about why running away was bad. It ended with "Remember how bad you felt when you couldn't find me? It makes Mom feel bad when she can't find you."
Is your way wrong? I don't know. Spanking is better than losing your kid. But I think my way was better. She was scared for the right reason. It is scary to lose your family. She wasn't scared because she was caught and got a spanking.
I couldn't adequately explain to a two year old why running away was bad. I could find a consequence that demonstrated it.0
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