How do you handle tantrums?
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i still dont see an issue. if you were in a rush just say "sorry ive got to get going" or something along those lines. it sounds like she just wanted to catch up with an ex-coworker for old times sake
I'm sorry I wasn't more clear on this: The grandma did say hi, and I did say hi back, but that was not the extent of our interaction. She went on to want to know all kinds of information about what's happening with this company I work at (and she doesn't anymore), and I was trying to move towards a different direction in the store. It isn't saying hi that was the issue... she wanted to have a much longer conversation, and then her granddaughter wanted to follow me.0 -
i still dont see an issue. if you were in a rush just say "sorry ive got to get going" or something along those lines. it sounds like she just wanted to catch up with an ex-coworker for old times sake
I'm sorry I wasn't more clear on this: The grandma did say hi, and I did say hi back, but that was not the extent of our interaction. She went on to want to know all kinds of information about what's happening with this company I work at (and she doesn't anymore), and I was trying to move towards a different direction in the store. It isn't saying hi that was the issue... she wanted to have a much longer conversation, and then her granddaughter wanted to follow me.
Some people prefer to be the victim.0 -
How does she think I want her to follow me around?
Kids, cats and dogs will pick up on when someone doesn't like them and do their best to be as obnoxious as possible toward that person. Every time.
Maybe you should seek counseling. Really, aside from your extreme dislike of children that seems to go beyond reason, you seem to have a lot of animosity toward humans in general. That's a lot of bitterness to hold onto.
Not everyone likes everything. Would you advise someone who doesn't like snakes to seek counseling? This really is no different, except that most people do not bring snakes out to where other people will have to experience their snakes.
I disagree that I have "animosity towards humans in general." Of course, I don't expect that you could know either way from my posts regardless - there just isn't enough to know me very well.
The more I read your posts, the more I am noticing your obvious misogyny and need for validation. Children are vital in the survival of our race. Should everyone make a kid? No. Is your hate of children and seemingly any positive interaction with other human beings healthy? Most definitely not. I second that you might look into counseling.0 -
To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.
My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.
First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.
Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.
There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.
You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.0 -
The question has been answered perfectly fine.
And you misunderstand our statements about you. We don't think you're a bad person. But you are very negative about and easily upset by normal human interaction.0 -
Wow, This is still going? :noway:
Seriously, just click the red box in the upper right hand corner... unless you are on a mac, then the upper left hand corner.0 -
To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.
My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.
First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.
Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.
There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.
You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.
I don't think any of us have said that you are an awful person. Or that we should accept children throwing groceries. In fact, my original thread was to stop the throwing of the groceries. No one is condoning child behavior. That being said, I am not sure you know how very anti social you come off as. Enjoy your life.0 -
Perhaps we should use the same skills we do with whiny kids on midwesterner.
But, but, but...it's not fair!0 -
To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.
My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.
First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.
Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.
There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.
You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.
I don't think any of us have said that you are an awful person. Or that we should accept children throwing groceries. In fact, my original thread was to stop the throwing of the groceries. No one is condoning child behavior. That being said, I am not sure you know how very anti social you come off as. Enjoy your life.
Are you aware of the book "Llama, llama MAD at Mama"? It might be a good way to re-introduce grocery throwing and discuss grocery store expectations.0 -
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The more I read your posts, the more I am noticing your obvious misogyny and need for validation. Children are vital in the survival of our race. Should everyone make a kid? No. Is your hate of children and seemingly any positive interaction with other human beings healthy? Most definitely not. I second that you might look into counseling".
This response is totally unfair. Midwestern doesm't say people should not have kids; he says that parents should not allow their kids to scream, throw things, and otherwise act like a baboon in public and annoy other adults. That is NOT "positive interaction with other human beings", it's kids being brats. Parentys who think any bad behavior is "just expressing themselves" and " normal kid behavior" need to learn that the kid's right to self expression stops dead short of " annoying other people in public". I agree 100%.0 -
Perhaps we should use the same skills we do with whiny kids on midwesterner.
But, but, but...it's not fair!
Ignore? Ok... I'm down with that... when my preschooler gets whiny I turn off the tv and ignore them until she stops whining.0 -
I don't think any of us have said that you are an awful person. Or that we should accept children throwing groceries. In fact, my original thread was to stop the throwing of the groceries. No one is condoning child behavior. That being said, I am not sure you know how very anti social you come off as. Enjoy your life.
Are you aware of the book "Llama, llama MAD at Mama"? It might be a good way to re-introduce grocery throwing and discuss grocery store expectations.
Mine had a tantrum in Target yesterday... she was tired (but I thought she would be ok because she was in a good mood before that)... she wanted to pick the cart, but wasn't satisfied with any of them so I just picked one... then she proceeded to be a screaming banshee.... We went outside, I calmed her down and told her that how she was acting was unacceptible and if she didn't stop then we were going home and we wouldn't go get the jump rope she had been looking forward to. We sat down, calmed down, and went back in... she was fine after that. Sometimes it just takes a calming down removed from the situation.0 -
Before we hit the store (or where ever we have to go) I explain the rules. Every time. I get them to repeat back to me what the rules are and explain there will be consequences if they do not follow them. My kids are 2.5 and 5.5. 18 months is really quite young to understand this stuff, but it's good to get started in letting her know your expectations of her. Make sure your expectations are realistic. At 18 months she probably can't handle long outings of chores. Make sure she's fed and rested. Take distractions, like snacks or an appropriate toy. Avoid her triggers as much as you can. If she starts to escalate, try distraction or redirection. If my kids lose it, I try to acknowledge how they are feeling. "You're really upset!" "I know it's hard when you don't get what you want, isn't it? Mummy wants chocolate cake right now, but I can't have it." Then move on. Ignore. And praise when she starts to calm herself. Because at 18 months she is starting to learn how to handle her emotions and that is difficult. If she's really having a tough time, find a quiet corner and try to help her calm down with a cuddle and some soothing words. Sometimes they need some help. 18 months is really little still.
Most people you think are judging you are probably not. And those who are....well who really cares? You gotta just ignore it. It's not really worth your energy to worry about what other people are thinking.0 -
To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.
My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.
First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.
Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.
There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.
You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.
Okay... I don't know if you will find this helpful, Midwestern, but you might...
Often, when I get annoyed at someone, I have to stop and think to myself, "S/he can't really know..." (meaning, the person isn't a mind reader)
It helps me feel sympathetic towards the person that I'm annoyed with.
Grandma couldn't know that you didn't want to talk to her. I mean, how could she, really? You've never been hateful to her, you've never told her before that you don't want her company, right? It's not fair to assume that she would "know better"...
And even though you aren't interested in dating her daughter or someone with kids, she really couldn't know HOW MUCH kids bug you. (I'm not being unkind here... my patience is in pretty high demand / short supply with kids, too.)
Another thing to consider: you're an adult and you're second guessing your interaction with the grandmother. You're still figuring things out. Not surprisingly, kids are too! ESPECIALLY babies!!
The OPs baby is only 18 months old. With that short a life, that little life experience, she really can't know what to do all the time, either, right? VERY few babies that age can even recognize the urge to urinate or have a BM.
Anyway, just a suggestion from an impatient old bitty who shoots eye daggers at the parents playing on their phones and ignoring their kids.0 -
To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.
My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.
First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.
Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.
There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.
You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.
Okay... I don't know if you will find this helpful, Midwestern, but you might...
Often, when I get annoyed at someone, I have to stop and think to myself, "S/he can't really know..." (meaning, the person isn't a mind reader)
It helps me feel sympathetic towards the person that I'm annoyed with.
Grandma couldn't know that you didn't want to talk to her. I mean, how could she, really? You've never been hateful to her, you've never told her before that you don't want her company, right? It's not fair to assume that she would "know better"...
And even though you aren't interested in dating her daughter or someone with kids, she really couldn't know HOW MUCH kids bug you. (I'm not being unkind here... my patience is in pretty high demand / short supply with kids, too.)
Another thing to consider: you're an adult and you're second guessing your interaction with the grandmother. You're still figuring things out. Not surprisingly, kids are too! ESPECIALLY babies!!
The OPs baby is only 18 months old. With that short a life, that little life experience, she really can't know what to do all the time, either, right? VERY few babies that age can even recognize the urge to urinate or have a BM.
Anyway, just a suggestion from an impatient old bitty who shoots eye daggers at the parents playing on their phones and ignoring their kids.
The grandma said "hi" as did I, and then I continued walking... she continued talking as I'm walking away, so I stopped. Rather than turn towards her and head back her direction, I just turned my head while my body was facing towards the direction I had previously been walking. I didn't give any lengthy responses (5 words or less) to anything she said. Most adults would get the hint there... but maybe I should have actually been clear I didn't want to talk (but would be considered rude, of course).
When we worked together, and she was persistent about trying to hook me up with her daughter, I grew persistent in my insistence that I could not stand kids. It eventually became clear enough that she would jokingly threaten to trap me with kids in various ways, knowing that I would be extremely unhappy. So I don't think you are right on that - she definitely knew I couldn't stand kids. Or, maybe this was her spur of the moment opportunity to annoy me with her grand-daughter. But that sounds a bit too unreasonable.0 -
I think that maybe you just need a hug Midwesterner.
But I think that you probably wouldn't like hugs.....
For what it's worth, I hate running into people I know while out and about. I like to go do what i need to do and then leave. But i also have anxiety issues. And I always seem to run into people that I know when I look my worst.0 -
The grandma said "hi" as did I, and then I continued walking... she continued talking as I'm walking away, so I stopped. Rather than turn towards her and head back her direction, I just turned my head while my body was facing towards the direction I had previously been walking. I didn't give any lengthy responses (5 words or less) to anything she said. Most adults would get the hint there... but maybe I should have actually been clear I didn't want to talk (but would be considered rude, of course).
When we worked together, and she was persistent about trying to hook me up with her daughter, I grew persistent in my insistence that I could not stand kids. It eventually became clear enough that she would jokingly threaten to trap me with kids in various ways, knowing that I would be extremely unhappy. So I don't think you are right on that - she definitely knew I couldn't stand kids. Or, maybe this was her spur of the moment opportunity to annoy me with her grand-daughter. But that sounds a bit too unreasonable.
Yeah, you might be right.
Grandma just wanted to f-ck with you - because she could and because it bothered you.
Think the kid was a co-conspirator or just an accidental accomplice?
Dammit. Now I want a grandkid.0 -
My daughters were the same way OP. I could not let my babies cry, how AWFUL (they were preemies, tons of hospitalizations, so I felt guilty leaving when they turned three and were finally in good health).
Well now they are six, they started school last year and every damn day I had to walk them to class, and they cried every time. They still have "separation anxiety". If their dad actually happens to be home and I want to go to the store, they insist on coming. We dont let them anymore, if dads home, they stay and hang out with him.
Basically we are stuck back tracking at this point because of my inability to walk away, and it is exhausting. I know every child is different but on the few occasions that I have managed to get out people tell me they literally only cried for two minutes then became distracted with something else.
I wish I had listened to every ones warnings!
She'll be OK!0 -
I think children who are allowed to act like idiots in public end up adults somewhat like a couple people in this thread ..."
The more I read your posts, the more I am noticing your obvious misogyny and need for validation. Children are vital in the survival of our race. Should everyone make a kid? No. Is your hate of children and seemingly any positive interaction with other human beings healthy? Most definitely not. I second that you might look into counseling".
This response is totally unfair. Midwestern doesm't say people should not have kids; he says that parents should not allow their kids to scream, throw things, and otherwise act like a baboon in public and annoy other adults. That is NOT "positive interaction with other human beings", it's kids being brats. Parentys who think any bad behavior is "just expressing themselves" and " normal kid behavior" need to learn that the kid's right to self expression stops dead short of " annoying other people in public". I agree 100%.0 -
For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?
Perty please?0 -
For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?
Perty please?
Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)0 -
For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?
Perty please?
Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)
I got bored with that a few days ago. Seriously, this thing is still on? You all's attention spans are sooooo 1990.0 -
My daughter is now 3.5 and I've had my share of **** shows on the road. I think you did the right thing. Use your words, be firm and clear. Don't give in because then she will learn that her meltdown will get results. Move away from the area and ignore the death stares (anyone that has the nerve to judge you for your child's absolutely normal behaviour has their own damn problems).0
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i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.
the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.
he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.
its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.
oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.0 -
For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?
Perty please?
Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)
Can anybody send up a bat signal for Mr. Tolerable? You get those two debating, and this will be over in no time.0 -
i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.
the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.
he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.
its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.
oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.
Just goes to show that you can't necessarily "teach a kid not to have tantrums" as someone else implied. It's all in how the adults they are interacting with respond and the environment they are in at the time.0 -
Well I guess I'm the *kitten*. When my kids were that young and threw a tantrum in a store, throws a tantrum in a store. I'm assuming she is in a cart, right? I park my cart in a corner and wait until they stop their tantrum. They will learn it's not the way to handle things. It forces them to use language to express themselves and not angry tantrums. Sure it doesn't happen quickly, but they will learn. And yes, people will stare and give you the stink eye like their toddler never made a fuss ever. Pay no mind to them. Sure you could give her what she wants, distract her with a toy, or leave, but this only reinforces the bahavior and before you know it you are that *kitten* with the 8 year old throwing an epic fit, and just imagine the stares and glances then.
Toddlers throw tantrums, it's a natural part of child development. Unless your child has developmental disorders or delays, they will calm down and will grow out of it if you do not give in to their tantrums.0 -
With all do respect, speaking solely from experience, by the time you leave, drive home, and implement the punishment, a toddler no longer knows why they are being punished. A 16 month old won't understand why he is on timeout, not to mention that younger babies throw tantrums too and surely they won't remember why they are being punished once they get home. And what if their tantrum is because they want to leave the store?
No, I'm not leaving my cart full of groceries. The silent treatment works far better. They learn that if they want my attention, they will have to use their words. Sure it takes a few times and it's embarrassing, but they will learn, even at 1 years old that tantrums solve nothing.i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.
the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.
he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.
its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.
oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.0 -
And this is always what it boils down to:
- Ignore the tantrum
- Move the kid to a safe spot and allow them to have the tantrum
- Use a distraction technique
- React firmly and with swift action
There are a lot of different strategies and any of them may or may not work with your kid.
The best practice I'm gleaning from this thread is to make sure your kid is fed and rested, and not over-stimulated. Basically, try and avoid putting the kid in a position where a tantrum is a possibility. Set clear expectations about behavior beforehand when possible
Once you are in the situation (and we've established that with some kids, tantrums may not be completely avoidable), figure out what works for you.
The one thing that's NOT going to work long term is bribery. Because that's just going to teach the kid to hold his or her good behavior for ransom.
God speed. And, remember, this too shall pass.0 -
I make sure not to break anything I don't want to clean up and/or replace.
....What?0
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