How do you handle tantrums?

Alluminati

For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?

Perty please?

Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)

SunofaBeach14

For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?

Perty please?

Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)

I got bored with that a few days ago. Seriously, this thing is still on? You all's attention spans are sooooo 1990.

saanaismom

My daughter is now 3.5 and I've had my share of **** shows on the road. I think you did the right thing. Use your words, be firm and clear. Don't give in because then she will learn that her meltdown will get results. Move away from the area and ignore the death stares (anyone that has the nerve to judge you for your child's absolutely normal behaviour has their own damn problems).

clydethecat

i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.

the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.

he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.

its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.

oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.

likitisplit

For the love off all that is holy and right with this world, and for a few really fun things that are probably less than holy and probably a little sticky, but damn are they fun . . . e'hm, um, ah, where was I? Oh yea. For the love all that up there, would this thing please roll and get off my feed!?

Perty please?

Start talking about/to Midwesterner. That should start him on his long rambling posts about hating the kids (that should get this to roll quicker)

Can anybody send up a bat signal for Mr. Tolerable? You get those two debating, and this will be over in no time.

tr3kkie9rl

i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.

the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.

he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.

its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.

oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.

Just goes to show that you can't necessarily "teach a kid not to have tantrums" as someone else implied. It's all in how the adults they are interacting with respond and the environment they are in at the time.

DjinnMarie

Well I guess I'm the *kitten*. When my kids were that young and threw a tantrum in a store, throws a tantrum in a store. I'm assuming she is in a cart, right? I park my cart in a corner and wait until they stop their tantrum. They will learn it's not the way to handle things. It forces them to use language to express themselves and not angry tantrums. Sure it doesn't happen quickly, but they will learn. And yes, people will stare and give you the stink eye like their toddler never made a fuss ever. Pay no mind to them. Sure you could give her what she wants, distract her with a toy, or leave, but this only reinforces the bahavior and before you know it you are that *kitten* with the 8 year old throwing an epic fit, and just imagine the stares and glances then.

Toddlers throw tantrums, it's a natural part of child development. Unless your child has developmental disorders or delays, they will calm down and will grow out of it if you do not give in to their tantrums.

DjinnMarie

With all do respect, speaking solely from experience, by the time you leave, drive home, and implement the punishment, a toddler no longer knows why they are being punished. A 16 month old won't understand why he is on timeout, not to mention that younger babies throw tantrums too and surely they won't remember why they are being punished once they get home. And what if their tantrum is because they want to leave the store?

No, I'm not leaving my cart full of groceries. The silent treatment works far better. They learn that if they want my attention, they will have to use their words. Sure it takes a few times and it's embarrassing, but they will learn, even at 1 years old that tantrums solve nothing.

i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.

the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.

he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.

its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.

oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.

likitisplit

And this is always what it boils down to:
- Ignore the tantrum
- Move the kid to a safe spot and allow them to have the tantrum
- Use a distraction technique
- React firmly and with swift action

There are a lot of different strategies and any of them may or may not work with your kid.

The best practice I'm gleaning from this thread is to make sure your kid is fed and rested, and not over-stimulated. Basically, try and avoid putting the kid in a position where a tantrum is a possibility. Set clear expectations about behavior beforehand when possible

Once you are in the situation (and we've established that with some kids, tantrums may not be completely avoidable), figure out what works for you.

The one thing that's NOT going to work long term is bribery. Because that's just going to teach the kid to hold his or her good behavior for ransom.

God speed. And, remember, this too shall pass.

Meerataila

I make sure not to break anything I don't want to clean up and/or replace.

....What?

Meerataila

I make sure not to break anything I don't want to clean up and/or replace.

....What?

We'll just ignore you and move you to a safe place in the store where you can express yourself with wild abandon, as nature dictates :laugh:

Don't worry. The store employees will clean it up. That's what they're there for.

:sad: That stops working when you're tall enough to handcuff!

lizzybathory

i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.

the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.

he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.

its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.

oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.

Just goes to show that you can't necessarily "teach a kid not to have tantrums" as someone else implied. It's all in how the adults they are interacting with respond and the environment they are in at the time.

This. I've dealt with a lot of tantrum-throwing kids as a secondary caregiver (nanny, day care, babysitter) and even though tantrums get old, I've never been mad at a kid for them - I've been mad at the parents for enabling them this far. I know that most kids do go through a difficult period when they're pretty young, where they have a lot to learn about behavior... I get it. But most of the kids this age I've known with persistent behavior problems are the ones whose parents give in and try to appease them.

Really, being firm and consistent with your kid in not rewarding tantrum behavior is one of the best things you can do for them.

Mikkimeow

i nannied for a two year old. he melted down in public twice. the first time i took him firmly by the hand, led him out of the store, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room and let him cry it out. we then did nothing the rest of the day but read books. no tv, no outside, no park.

the second time we were at the park and he hit another kid, i admonished him for it and he hit me, and i told him no, you do not hit, i took him firmly by the hand, put him in his car seat, brought him home, put him in his room, let him cry it out, then did nothing for the rest of the day but read books.

he never melted down or hit again. he knew i meant business. he acted out with his mom and dad. but never with me. i could take that kid out for ice cream and he would sit quietly and enjoy his ice cream.

its all in how you react to the melt down. too many adults ignore it, or let it go on. you have to react to it, firmly and with swift action. even if you have a grocery cart full of food, you still need to take that kid firmly out of the cart, put them in their car seat, take them home and put them in their room.

oh and those nasty looks, those are warranted. no one wants to listen to your snotty brat screaming in the store. its annoying, and no i have no sympathy for you. take control of your kid.

I would appreciate it if you didn't call my child a brat.