Moderation DOES NOT WORK for me
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It isn't my job to label someone as a wanker or try to 'fix' them.
Which is why I don't start the conversations.
Cheers!
You are wise, MrKnight! heehee - Cheers!0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.0 -
It doesn't work for me either. I move along basically in the same range, but if I need to drop a few pounds I have to go on a more or less extreme diet for a short period. I've also read that moderation is not the only way healthily to lose weight.0
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Moderation doesn't work for me as well so I've come to the conclusion that I can only allow myself to have a maximum of 2 meals a day. I've been doing IF (intermittent fasting) for about 2 1/2 - 3 years now and love it completely. I typically don't have my first meal of the day until around 6-7pm.
I started slow by skipping breakfast and not eating until 12-1pm and gradually was able to push it back further and further. There's many people that'll say its awful for your body, you need many meals throughout the day, blah blah, so on and so forth. However, there's truly no medically published work that backs those theories up.
Protein consumption must be looked at over a period of an entire day or even a few days, and not a matter of hours. If you're able to eat smaller amounts in the morning (unless you'd prefer to eat all your calories in the morning) and save your calories for the end of the day for larger meals I recommend doing so. It's how Im able to still eat very large meals and continue to lose weight or maintain weight at a very low weight.0 -
It's the horde of wankers who self-identify as addicts and then proceed to use it as a justification for failure instead of doing something about it that get the brunt of mocking on here (and elsewhere). And MFP is littered with those....
There is a phrase we use in OA that says, "sweep your own side of the street".
One way to peace in this life is to understand that there are a lot of wankers in this world. They are hurting, or in denial, or abusers, or all manner of things. It isn't my job to label someone as a wanker or try to 'fix' them. I can pray for them and if they ask me for help I can try to help them and they can take whatever advice I give and do what they want with it.
If they don't take my advice that is their prerogative. It can be frustrating, sure. But it is best to let them go. They make their own choices.
I was hoping there was a thumbs up smiley for this! So, I will simply say I concur.
I totally agree too. Though the phrase I was introduced to was "keep your eyes on your paper."0 -
It's the horde of wankers who self-identify as addicts and then proceed to use it as a justification for failure instead of doing something about it that get the brunt of mocking on here (and elsewhere). And MFP is littered with those....
There is a phrase we use in OA that says, "sweep your own side of the street".
One way to peace in this life is to understand that there are a lot of wankers in this world. They are hurting, or in denial, or abusers, or all manner of things. It isn't my job to label someone as a wanker or try to 'fix' them. I can pray for them and if they ask me for help I can try to help them and they can take whatever advice I give and do what they want with it.
If they don't take my advice that is their prerogative. It can be frustrating, sure. But it is best to let them go. They make their own choices.
I was hoping there was a thumbs up smiley for this! So, I will simply say I concur.
I totally agree too. Though the phrase I was introduced to was "keep your eyes on your paper."
That's a good one, too!0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.
That's what I don't really understand. You've got people saying "just suck it up and eat everything in moderation" as if people with a really poor relationship with food just have infinite willpower, but then when you suggest someone stop eating something like pizza when dropping weight, the very same people will be the first to come in screaming "that's not sustainable!" and "I could never give up my pizza!" - presumably because of a lack of willpower (as it's most certainly sustainable in the abstract). Seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Personally I just think people need to experiment to find what works for them and then just do that. If eating little portions of pizza is your thing, then that's what you should do. On the other hand, if you enjoy large portions and feeling full, then pizza is probably a terrible choice when dropping weight, so it might be best to give Domino's a break. There's no need to push so hard for what has worked for you in the past while at the same trivializing the effort that it took and the additional effort that would be required for someone with a poor relationship with food would have to put in to follow that same program. Let people find works for them and take it a step at a time.0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.
That's what I don't really understand. You've got people saying "just suck it up and eat everything in moderation" as if people with a really poor relationship with food just have infinite willpower, but then when you suggest someone stop eating something like pizza when dropping weight, the very same people will be the first to come in screaming "that's not sustainable!" and "I could never give up my pizza!" - presumably because of a lack of willpower (as it's most certainly sustainable in the abstract). Seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Personally I just think people need to experiment to find what works for them and then just do that. If eating little portions of pizza is your thing, then that's what you should do. On the other hand, if you enjoy large portions and feeling full, then pizza is probably a terrible choice when dropping weight, so it might be best to give Domino's a break. There's no need to push so hard for what has worked for you in the past while at the same trivializing the effort that it took and the additional effort that would be required for someone with a poor relationship with food would have to put in to follow that same program. Let people find works for them and take it a step at a time.
That's so true. I'd never thought about it that way. That some of the very same people who are screaming about needing more will power and self-control in moderation are the first to complain about unsustainability in elimination approaches. Funny, that more don't just tell them to suck it up and gain a little self-control!0 -
It's the horde of wankers who self-identify as addicts and then proceed to use it as a justification for failure instead of doing something about it that get the brunt of mocking on here (and elsewhere). And MFP is littered with those....
There is a phrase we use in OA that says, "sweep your own side of the street".
One way to peace in this life is to understand that there are a lot of wankers in this world. They are hurting, or in denial, or abusers, or all manner of things. It isn't my job to label someone as a wanker or try to 'fix' them. I can pray for them and if they ask me for help I can try to help them and they can take whatever advice I give and do what they want with it.
If they don't take my advice that is their prerogative. It can be frustrating, sure. But it is best to let them go. They make their own choices.
I was hoping there was a thumbs up smiley for this! So, I will simply say I concur.0 -
Just my opinion, but I don't see much of a distinction between the control involved with moderation and the control involved with restricting food types. If you have problems with eating certain foods in moderation, it seems like you'll probably just eventually crack if you try to restrict junk food into oblivion.
Most people I know who work to control weight have at least one food they avoid because if they have one bite they want to eat it ALL. I know I do.
And honestly, even if you do occasionally "crack" and overeat the restricted food, isn't that better than doing it on a regular basis?0 -
They are finding the same rate of success with OA as they are with AA. This is significant, even if the science hasn't caught up with it yet.
No one actually knows AA's rate of success.0 -
They are finding the same rate of success with OA as they are with AA. This is significant, even if the science hasn't caught up with it yet.
No one actually knows AA's rate of success.
I'd say pretty poor if you have to go to meetings for the rest of your life. And, I say that having had family members in the program for decades. There's got to be a better way.0 -
When I started filling my days with healther choices I found that things got much better! ... It is so much easier to say no to those processes junky carbs, pieces of cake in the office and at home, ect. when you are full of healthy proteins, fiber and fat. I hope this is of some help.
Without getting into a discussion of "processed" or what's "junky," I'll say that I agree with the essence of this and IME it's a significant point. Rather than focusing on NOT eating something or one's helplessness, what makes sense to me is to focus on the positive things you are trying to achieve--filling your diet with enough protein, nutrient dense foods, getting enough exercise, so on. That seems much healthier to me than making it all about eliminating stuff. Now, it may be that you get derailed by some trigger foods anyway and want to avoid temptation (and I think that's a sensible strategy), but starting with "I won't eat!" seems so likely to create a feeling of deprivation that may not exist. Why not make it about the great things you do eat?0 -
I always just remind myself that it will be on my hips tomorrow but I won't be tasting it then.0
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That seems much healthier to me than making it all about eliminating stuff. Now, it may be that you get derailed by some trigger foods anyway and want to avoid temptation (and I think that's a sensible strategy), but starting with "I won't eat!" seems so likely to create a feeling of deprivation that may not exist. Why not make it about the great things you do eat?
I just think that not everyone is wired that way. If I tell myself I'm not going to eat cake today, I'm not going to dwell on it and stress that I'm "cake deprived." I'm an adult with a good job. I can go buy an entire cake and eat it whenever I want to. I'm not deprived by any stretch of the imagination, and from an objective standpoint, I'd say I'm spoiled rotten. Life is good, even if I don't eat any cake today.
And, with that said, off to socialize in the break room while people eat birthday cake for a coworker.0 -
When I started filling my days with healther choices I found that things got much better! ... It is so much easier to say no to those processes junky carbs, pieces of cake in the office and at home, ect. when you are full of healthy proteins, fiber and fat. I hope this is of some help.
Without getting into a discussion of "processed" or what's "junky," I'll say that I agree with the essence of this and IME it's a significant point. Rather than focusing on NOT eating something or one's helplessness, what makes sense to me is to focus on the positive things you are trying to achieve--filling your diet with enough protein, nutrient dense foods, getting enough exercise, so on. That seems much healthier to me than making it all about eliminating stuff. Now, it may be that you get derailed by some trigger foods anyway and want to avoid temptation (and I think that's a sensible strategy), but starting with "I won't eat!" seems so likely to create a feeling of deprivation that may not exist. Why not make it about the great things you do eat?
Good description of the mindset change many of us have made0 -
That seems much healthier to me than making it all about eliminating stuff. Now, it may be that you get derailed by some trigger foods anyway and want to avoid temptation (and I think that's a sensible strategy), but starting with "I won't eat!" seems so likely to create a feeling of deprivation that may not exist. Why not make it about the great things you do eat?
I just think that not everyone is wired that way. If I tell myself I'm not going to eat cake today, I'm not going to dwell on it and stress that I'm "cake deprived." I'm an adult with a good job. I can go buy an entire cake and eat it whenever I want to. I'm not deprived by any stretch of the imagination, and from an objective standpoint, I'd say I'm spoiled rotten. Life is good, even if I don't eat any cake today.
And, with that said, off to socialize in the break room while people eat birthday cake for a coworker.
I definitely agree with this. I've never felt deprived. In fact, I felt the opposite -- that I was empowered because I was making the choice. But, I also think this comes back to owning one's decisions and deciding to make the changes for yourself as opposed to primarily for others. Simple, but not necessarily easy.0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.
That's what I don't really understand. You've got people saying "just suck it up and eat everything in moderation" as if people with a really poor relationship with food just have infinite willpower, but then when you suggest someone stop eating something like pizza when dropping weight, the very same people will be the first to come in screaming "that's not sustainable!" and "I could never give up my pizza!" - presumably because of a lack of willpower (as it's most certainly sustainable in the abstract). Seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Personally I just think people need to experiment to find what works for them and then just do that. If eating little portions of pizza is your thing, then that's what you should do. On the other hand, if you enjoy large portions and feeling full, then pizza is probably a terrible choice when dropping weight, so it might be best to give Domino's a break. There's no need to push so hard for what has worked for you in the past while at the same trivializing the effort that it took and the additional effort that would be required for someone with a poor relationship with food would have to put in to follow that same program. Let people find works for them and take it a step at a time.
That's so true. I'd never thought about it that way. That some of the very same people who are screaming about needing more will power and self-control in moderation are the first to complain about unsustainability in elimination approaches. Funny, that more don't just tell them to suck it up and gain a little self-control!
I have a problem with the elimination method not because I find it unsustainable, but because people who have been doing it successfully for more than 3 weeks love to insinuate that it's the only way to be healthy. Examples of things being told to new people on these boards on a daily basis: "Sugar is the worst thing in the world for you, well *refined* sugar, sugar from fruit is okay." This isn't true. If you find you binge less after eliminating candy, it doesn't mean sugar is to blame, addictive or any of the other ridiculous things people say.
I guess that the same can be said for people in the "everything in moderation" camp, we seem to think everyone should do what we're doing because it works for us. That's the point of these boards, though. People with differing opinions can discuss their methods. It doesn't mean anyone is a "bully" or getting their jollies off.
But anyway, is it sustainable to eliminate foods that you find to be arbitrarily "bad?" Drop me a line when you've been doing it for 10 years and haven't gained any weight back, I guess. I've done it in the past, and have lost and gained back a significant amount of weight about 6 times. This time I am doing things differently, truly allowing myself to eat whatever I want within reason and I've honestly never felt better about myself or the future. I want people to know they don't have to be miserable and they can STOP binge eating without cutting anything out. They just have to want to.0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.
That's what I don't really understand. You've got people saying "just suck it up and eat everything in moderation" as if people with a really poor relationship with food just have infinite willpower, but then when you suggest someone stop eating something like pizza when dropping weight, the very same people will be the first to come in screaming "that's not sustainable!" and "I could never give up my pizza!" - presumably because of a lack of willpower (as it's most certainly sustainable in the abstract). Seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Personally I just think people need to experiment to find what works for them and then just do that. If eating little portions of pizza is your thing, then that's what you should do. On the other hand, if you enjoy large portions and feeling full, then pizza is probably a terrible choice when dropping weight, so it might be best to give Domino's a break. There's no need to push so hard for what has worked for you in the past while at the same trivializing the effort that it took and the additional effort that would be required for someone with a poor relationship with food would have to put in to follow that same program. Let people find works for them and take it a step at a time.
That's so true. I'd never thought about it that way. That some of the very same people who are screaming about needing more will power and self-control in moderation are the first to complain about unsustainability in elimination approaches. Funny, that more don't just tell them to suck it up and gain a little self-control!
I have a problem with the elimination method not because I find it unsustainable, but because people who have been doing it successfully for more than 3 weeks love to insinuate that it's the only way to be healthy. Examples of things being told to new people on these boards on a daily basis: "Sugar is the worst thing in the world for you, well *refined* sugar, sugar from fruit is okay." This isn't true. If you find you binge less after eliminating candy, it doesn't mean sugar is to blame, addictive or any of the other ridiculous things people say.
I guess that the same can be said for people in the "everything in moderation" camp, we seem to think everyone should do what we're doing because it works for us. That's the point of these boards, though. People with differing opinions can discuss their methods. It doesn't mean anyone is a "bully" or getting their jollies off.
But anyway, is it sustainable to eliminate foods that you find to be arbitrarily "bad?" Drop me a line when you've been doing it for 10 years and haven't gained any weight back, I guess. I've done it in the past, and have lost and gained back a significant amount of weight about 6 times. This time I am doing things differently, truly allowing myself to eat whatever I want within reason and I've honestly never felt better about myself or the future. I want people to know they don't have to be miserable and they can STOP binge eating without cutting anything out. They just have to want to.
Sure, when that actually happens. But more often than not, in my experience, people jump on that preemptively, often with the excuse that such people are always pushing things. Same excuse is used to bash paleo, keto and other valid paths. I think on this very thread there wasn't anyone pushing that whole "sugar [or X food] is evil" line at all -- and yet here you are defending a non-existent attack. Seems sort of silly.
When they push, sure, push back. But, let's leave the preemptively pushing at the wayside.
As for the bullies and jollies, we'll just have to agree to disagree on that. There certainly are people who engage in respectful discourse and exchange different ideas and viewpoints. They seem to have an appreciation for the fact that reasonable people can disagree and that there are many different paths to success. But, there certainly are more than a handful of people here that do like to act like bullies, that like to be cruel and needlessly put people down, usually because they're different or disagree. And when they're called on it, they often resort to honesty as a defense or refusing to coddle people. As if being honest and *kitten* were mutually exclusive.0 -
Food is going to surround you for the rest of your life. You are going to have train your mind to eating smaller portions, including fast food, if you're going to survive, and live a happier, healthier life style.
Why? Fast food is not required for survival or health, and many people live happy lives without it.
That's what I don't really understand. You've got people saying "just suck it up and eat everything in moderation" as if people with a really poor relationship with food just have infinite willpower, but then when you suggest someone stop eating something like pizza when dropping weight, the very same people will be the first to come in screaming "that's not sustainable!" and "I could never give up my pizza!" - presumably because of a lack of willpower (as it's most certainly sustainable in the abstract). Seems pretty hypocritical to me.
Personally I just think people need to experiment to find what works for them and then just do that. If eating little portions of pizza is your thing, then that's what you should do. On the other hand, if you enjoy large portions and feeling full, then pizza is probably a terrible choice when dropping weight, so it might be best to give Domino's a break. There's no need to push so hard for what has worked for you in the past while at the same trivializing the effort that it took and the additional effort that would be required for someone with a poor relationship with food would have to put in to follow that same program. Let people find works for them and take it a step at a time.
That's so true. I'd never thought about it that way. That some of the very same people who are screaming about needing more will power and self-control in moderation are the first to complain about unsustainability in elimination approaches. Funny, that more don't just tell them to suck it up and gain a little self-control!
I have a problem with the elimination method not because I find it unsustainable, but because people who have been doing it successfully for more than 3 weeks love to insinuate that it's the only way to be healthy. Examples of things being told to new people on these boards on a daily basis: "Sugar is the worst thing in the world for you, well *refined* sugar, sugar from fruit is okay." This isn't true. If you find you binge less after eliminating candy, it doesn't mean sugar is to blame, addictive or any of the other ridiculous things people say.
I guess that the same can be said for people in the "everything in moderation" camp, we seem to think everyone should do what we're doing because it works for us. That's the point of these boards, though. People with differing opinions can discuss their methods. It doesn't mean anyone is a "bully" or getting their jollies off.
But anyway, is it sustainable to eliminate foods that you find to be arbitrarily "bad?" Drop me a line when you've been doing it for 10 years and haven't gained any weight back, I guess. I've done it in the past, and have lost and gained back a significant amount of weight about 6 times. This time I am doing things differently, truly allowing myself to eat whatever I want within reason and I've honestly never felt better about myself or the future. I want people to know they don't have to be miserable and they can STOP binge eating without cutting anything out. They just have to want to.
For me, focusing on all the good stuff I DO eat regularly is good.
Works for me.:drinker:0
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