He snooped, I need your opinions.

245

Replies

  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I'm not sure you can call it snooping since you left the email up for anyone to see. If you wanted your privacy, you should've covered your tracks better. Maybe he shouldn't have looked but since you two have been having a better time of it, he probably assume you had nothing to hide.

    You've already got a pretty non standard relationship so the usual advice is hard to give.

    Also, right fighting is stupid. If your "stuff" bothers him enough, he'll get out. If his "snooping" bothers you enough, you'll get out. Or you could just be honest with each other and try to have a more normal relationship.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Does it really matter who is in the wrong? It seems to be that a bit of blame belongs to both of you and, if you care about each other, you'll work it out.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, the first 3 were very rocky but this last year, things were finally settling down.

    We don't trust one another.

    Just break up.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Michael thinks he knows what "stuff" is ....


    US1L2oO.gif
  • gelendestrasse
    gelendestrasse Posts: 204
    Movie script, anyone? Seems way too much drama and tension for "nothing sexual" but I guess that could happen. Sounds like couples therapy at least. Or, if you really don't want to be together why does it matter? If you don't trust each other snooping is part of the deal.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Sounds like you have a 'FWBs'.

    If you are looking for which one of you are to 'blame', know this I would not trust either of you.

    You say you have trust issues and I agree, but it also sounds like their is reasons for those issues.

    If you want to stay together, you need to start working through those issues.


    Just one ole man's opinion.........
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Just stay together. Don't visit your mental issues on others.
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.

    Thank you for clarifying that for me.

    To answer some of your questions... I don't know how or why we lasted this long. And yes, the first three years should've been the best years. I know we care about one another a great deal but I think part of the reason we stay together is because it's so much easier than dating. We met on a dating site and damn is it tough! Going back to that does not appeal to me and of course, staying in this relationship is unhealthy for both of us.
  • orangesmartie
    orangesmartie Posts: 1,870 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    Wow, judging much?
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49


    get off drugs girl.

    Is it so bad to do something once or twice a year? I rarely drink and I don't smoke.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    I'm not sure you can call it snooping since you left the email up for anyone to see. If you wanted your privacy, you should've covered your tracks better. Maybe he shouldn't have looked but since you two have been having a better time of it, he probably assume you had nothing to hide.

    I'm glad someone said this. To me, snooping is digging for info: going through your phone, checking cell records, etc. You left an email up on a computer screen. If anyone did this on a computer I used, I would probably read the email to see if it was something I needed to save before closing, or logging them out.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    these are always my favorite. the people who question what this kind of forum topic is doing on a weight loss site...but only AFTER chiming in with their judginess.
  • TheBrolympus
    TheBrolympus Posts: 586 Member
    We don't trust one another.
    So, I left my email up
    I was so angry with him for looking through my email and he is mad at me because he now knows I have been keeping something from him.

    I suggest you reread your post. You don't trust each other and left your email open. Did you expect any other out come?

    The best part is that you seem surprised that he snooped. LOL!!!

    Thanks for the laugh.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.

    Thank you for clarifying that for me.

    To answer some of your questions... I don't know how or why we lasted this long. And yes, the first three years should've been the best years. I know we care about one another a great deal but I think part of the reason we stay together is because it's so much easier than dating. We met on a dating site and damn is it tough! Going back to that does not appeal to me and of course, staying in this relationship is unhealthy for both of us.

    Sounds like a great reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship because dating is hard. Ridiculous.

    Please seek professional help. I'm not being mean here, just honest.
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49
    We don't trust one another.
    So, I left my email up
    I was so angry with him for looking through my email and he is mad at me because he now knows I have been keeping something from him.

    I suggest you reread your post. You don't trust each other and left your email open. Did you expect any other out come?

    The best part is that you seem surprised that he snooped. LOL!!!

    Thanks for the laugh.

    I wasn't surprised and I left it up accidentally, I thought I logged off and you're welcome for the laugh.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    lol
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    Man, I'd rather be single than in an unhealthy relationship.

    Yes, dating is hard. Get over it. Life is too short to be miserable and in something that is unhealthy.
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.

    Thank you for clarifying that for me.

    To answer some of your questions... I don't know how or why we lasted this long. And yes, the first three years should've been the best years. I know we care about one another a great deal but I think part of the reason we stay together is because it's so much easier than dating. We met on a dating site and damn is it tough! Going back to that does not appeal to me and of course, staying in this relationship is unhealthy for both of us.

    Sounds like a great reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship because dating is hard. Ridiculous.

    Please seek professional help. I'm not being mean here, just honest.

    Is it really ridiculous? I don't know. I was in a relationship from age 19-42. As much fun as I had being single and dating for the two years prior to meeting my recent bf, my God, at my age, there is just so much baggage (including my own) and then the fear of STD's! Some serious creepers out there too! Apparently, I am attracted to and love my bf, otherwise I would be single but the problems we have, well, as you know....
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    To answer you question you left it open. So that is your fault. Close it. Now for him umm is it really wrong that he read to email. He could of also closed it. There was nothing for him to dig through when you left it open. You already said you both have trust issues so that to me would say if you left it open it was going to be read. How did you find out he read it or did he approach you immediately?
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49
    Man, I'd rather be single than in an unhealthy relationship.

    Yes, dating is hard. Get over it. Life is too short to be miserable and in something that is unhealthy.

    You're right. Now that some of you got me thinking... yes dating was hard but boy was I happy, much happier than today.
  • TheNewPriceIsLoading
    TheNewPriceIsLoading Posts: 2,135 Member
    shluff off the *kitten* in your life, and move forward. Leave the *kitten* where it belongs. On the ground, behind you. Drama = no good.
  • 2014Christina
    2014Christina Posts: 49
    To answer you question you left it open. So that is your fault. Close it. Now for him umm is it really wrong that he read to email. He could of also closed it. There was nothing for him to dig through when you left it open. You already said you both have trust issues so that to me would say if you left it open it was going to be read. How did you find out he read it or did he approach you immediately?

    He approached me. It was in my sent folder which he had to manually click on. Actually, it was facebook that was up, my email was opened in another tab.
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    It is quite the ethical conundrum - probable cause vs. privacy.

    Start with cause and effect......some people do not snoop by nature, but some are forced to do so when things do not seem quite right.
  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
    ETA: Not worth the strike.
  • JT_Taylor99
    JT_Taylor99 Posts: 148
    If I were in a relationship where I didn't trust the other person or felt that I needed to snoop on them, I would simply get out of that relationship. Life is to short to be tied to misery! I enjoy being single, I come and go as I please and don't have to tolerate anyone else's moods, habits, or unhealthy behaviors.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying. :explode: :laugh:

    She isn't sleeping with her ex, just taking occasional recreational drugs with him.

    Thank you for clarifying that for me.

    To answer some of your questions... I don't know how or why we lasted this long. And yes, the first three years should've been the best years. I know we care about one another a great deal but I think part of the reason we stay together is because it's so much easier than dating. We met on a dating site and damn is it tough! Going back to that does not appeal to me and of course, staying in this relationship is unhealthy for both of us.

    Sounds like a great reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship because dating is hard. Ridiculous.

    Please seek professional help. I'm not being mean here, just honest.

    Is it really ridiculous? I don't know. I was in a relationship from age 19-42. As much fun as I had being single and dating for the two years prior to meeting my recent bf, my God, at my age, there is just so much baggage (including my own) and then the fear of STD's! Some serious creepers out there too! Apparently, I am attracted to and love my bf, otherwise I would be single but the problems we have, well, as you know....

    Yes, it IS ridiculous and that's why I said it. I'm really not trying to be mean, but do you really want to stay in an unhealthy relationship? If the answer is yes, then again, I'd suggest professional help (nothing wrong with that, by the way).

    We ALL have baggage. I've had baggage all my life. That's no reason to throw in the towel and settle for being unhappy and unhealthy.

    I'm 37, and yes dating SUCKS. But it can be a necessary evil to find the right fit.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    To answer you question you left it open. So that is your fault. Close it. Now for him umm is it really wrong that he read to email. He could of also closed it. There was nothing for him to dig through when you left it open. You already said you both have trust issues so that to me would say if you left it open it was going to be read. How did you find out he read it or did he approach you immediately?

    He approached me. It was in my sent folder which he had to manually click on. Actually, it was facebook that was up, my email was opened in another tab.

    He click on your email tab that was not open and then processed to read your sent stuff. Well you know he already has trust issues so is that something you cannot believe he did.
  • SamLD88
    SamLD88 Posts: 111 Member
    I was in an abusive, mistrusting relationship for 8 years. Long distance with bouts of short distance. Moral of the story, he got married NOT to me. Before "breaking up." I heard from a friend of a friend.

    During my single time, I learned there are a lot of creeps, but there are also decent people. Life is too short to be miserable, and it sounds like you are. Being single might be the harder choice, but it's probably the right one.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    lols. As the world turns.
  • bugaboo_sue
    bugaboo_sue Posts: 552 Member
    are you freaking kidding us????? I don't care if you are serious with someone or not.. but you should only be having sex with one person at a time. Its gross and also risky as far catching stds. What kind of person is trying to have a "boyfriend" AND screws her so called ex??? How is this weightloss or fitness related unless its the prequel to you catching aids? just saying

    Judgmental much?

    You have no idea how many people out there have SO's and they also sleep with other people. Not behind their backs but together in a mutual agreement. It's a lifestyle and there isn't anything "unhealthy" about it. I know plenty of people whose marriages were pretty much saved by entering into this lifestyle.

    So please don't judge something you know nothing about.

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