Open Relationships
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She didn't say he COULD'NT touch, that he does not and will not sleep with other women. He may very well be the Dom, providing his sub with what she needs/wants.
And if she is the Domme, then that is how their relationship works...
I'm not saying anything about how her relationship works. I'm just trying to understand the dynamic.
No need to white-knight, here.
She is just helping to explain.0 -
She didn't say he COULD'NT touch, that he does not and will not sleep with other women. He may very well be the Dom, providing his sub with what she needs/wants.
And if she is the Domme, then that is how their relationship works...
I'm not saying anything about how her relationship works. I'm just trying to understand the dynamic.
No need to white-knight, here.
She is just helping to explain.
Okay... but I didn't ask her how this other random stranger's relationship works. And that last sentence seemed a bit condescending.
I was once in a D/s relationship so I know how that works. I was simply asking the poster if she was the Dom, and if so I feel like her example relates more to the D/s nature of her relationship than to polyamory.0 -
She didn't say he COULD'NT touch, that he does not and will not sleep with other women. He may very well be the Dom, providing his sub with what she needs/wants.
And if she is the Domme, then that is how their relationship works...
I'm not saying anything about how her relationship works. I'm just trying to understand the dynamic.
No need to white-knight, here.
She is just helping to explain.
Okay... but I didn't ask her how this other random stranger's relationship works. And that last sentence seemed a bit condescending.
I was once in a D/s relationship so I know how that works. I was simply asking the poster if she was the Dom, and if so I feel like her example relates more to the D/s nature of her relationship than to polyamory.
I didn't see a negative tone. I think she was just trying to provide some helpful info.
Yeah, I see. There are different ways to have a D/s relationship.0 -
Is it just “honest cheating”?
When your partner suggests an open relationship, is that a sign that you are not fulfilling their intimacy / sexual needs?
It must have really thrown you for a loop when your wife asked for an open relationship, huh?0 -
NO.0
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Is it just “honest cheating”?
When your partner suggests an open relationship, is that a sign that you are not fulfilling their intimacy / sexual needs?
It is a sign that they are selfish, immature and insecure.0 -
FIFYIs it just “honest cheating”?
When your partner suggests an open relationship, is that a sign that you are not fulfilling their intimacy / sexual needs?
It is a sign that they may be selfish, immature and insecure.0 -
Is it just “honest cheating”?
When your partner suggests an open relationship, is that a sign that you are not fulfilling their intimacy / sexual needs?
It must have really thrown you for a loop when your wife asked for an open relationship, huh?
It was a rhetorical question, but, yes, it would throw me for a loop. Unless, of course, it was you she wanted to bring into our relationship.:laugh:0 -
As someone who's in an atypical (D/s) relationship I have a different opinion than a lot of people. Most folks are bound by their beliefs (religious based), to each its own. First, sex does not = love, love does not = sex. They're two entirely separate things that are independently good and can be amazing when combined.
Those that are poly actually have multiple relationships, I personally can't do that nor would I want to. With open relationships it's usually just a sexual thing, the emotional aspect between the partners is there but they can have sex with other people. Then you've got semi-open relationships, like my own. I can bring women home, I have a FWB type of relationship with a female. My arrangement with my husband is mutually beneficial even though he does not and will not sleep with other women; he gets to watch and engage with me. As long as it works for the couple, why does it matter?
So you're obviously the Dom, right?
I mean, you bring women home and he can't touch. Not at all saying that's a bad thing, but it seems like this situation leans more to the control/power conversion than it does to polyamory.She didn't say he COULD'NT touch, that he does not and will not sleep with other women. He may very well be the Dom, providing his sub with what she needs/wants.
And if she is the Domme, then that is how their relationship works...
Teresa is right on the money. There isn't a dominant bone in my body when it comes to my relationship. Let's be realistic, men wouldn't mind sleeping with other women, and if women could put emotion aside, they wouldn't mind sleeping with other men. I personally do not like the idea of my husband sleeping having sex with another woman, just like he wouldn't share me with a man. So sharing me with a woman is someone we can both agree on. He gets to enjoy the visual aspects of those relations and enjoy me. We both have both, we're both happy, and the arrangement ensures that neither of us will have any issues with jealousy, guilt, etc. That may change in the future, but for the time being he respects that I'm not comfortable sharing my husband.
The key here is that we're both adults, we've both discussed it and we're both ok with what we do. Plus it's our relationship so outside opinions are irrelevant.
Also my tone wasn't condescending it was blunt. What happens in a relationship shouldn't matter to people outside of that relationship. I was explaining, and providing an example of how open relationships can be different.0 -
I think he found me to be condescending...it wasn't my intention, though, but reading on the screen can sometimes take on other tones, so I get it. it's all good. I really was just trying to be helpful and clarify.0
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My husband has had a few lady friends ( with benefits), I had a lover for about 15 years, and we've had a number of gleesome threesomes...and one charming foursome. back in the 70's to 90's. Everyone except my hubby and I were single, all of us were friends, it was just fun and loving, no cheating at all as there was no lying or deception... more a Harrad Experiment kind of vibe. NO KIDS... you can't do this sort of thing if you have kids, they WILL find out and they'll talk. We don't do that anymore now that we're in our 60's, but it was fun... good friends, good times. We're still happily married and best friends after 43 years.0
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My husband has had a few lady friends ( with benefits), I had a lover for about 15 years, and we've had a number of gleesome threesomes...and one charming foursome. back in the 70's to 90's. Everyone except my hubby and I were single, all of us were friends, it was just fun and loving, no cheating at all as there was no lying or deception... more a Harrad Experiment kind of vibe. NO KIDS... you can't do this sort of thing if you have kids, they WILL find out and they'll talk. We don't do that anymore now that we're in our 60's, but it was fun... good friends, good times. We're still happily married and best friends after 43 years.
Can I be you when I grow up?0 -
My husband has had a few lady friends ( with benefits), I had a lover for about 15 years, and we've had a number of gleesome threesomes...and one charming foursome. back in the 70's to 90's. Everyone except my hubby and I were single, all of us were friends, it was just fun and loving, no cheating at all as there was no lying or deception... more a Harrad Experiment kind of vibe. NO KIDS... you can't do this sort of thing if you have kids, they WILL find out and they'll talk. We don't do that anymore now that we're in our 60's, but it was fun... good friends, good times. We're still happily married and best friends after 43 years.
Can I be you when I grow up?
Can you have a one on one with my wife? lol
kiddos to you guys. definition of trust communication and love0 -
The key here is that we're both adults, we've both discussed it and we're both ok with what we do. Plus it's our relationship so outside opinions are irrelevant.
Also my tone wasn't condescending it was blunt. What happens in a relationship shouldn't matter to people outside of that relationship. I was explaining, and providing an example of how open relationships can be different.
I actually wasn't talking about you being condescending.
And I completely understand. I have an unconventional relationship myself. I was just trying to understand how your two separate preferences (D/s and polyamory) came together since you used your D/s relationship to lend credibility to your point.
Thanks for clarifying.0 -
Call it what you will, if all parties involved are willing and happy then who cares what its called.0
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My morals regarding open relationships are strongly rooted in my religion. With that said, I wouldn't hold any of my friends to my moral standards and wouldn't judge them on it if all parties involved were okay with it.
If my husband suggested an open relationship to me though, he'd probably get a brick in his windshield.
Completely agree. It would never be my cup of tea (I don't see the point of it), but nothing wrong with someone else liking it.0
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