Rudeness of a total stranger!
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If that were true, wouldn't THE LORD have sent someone she'd respond to instead of someone who made her feel so lousy she rejected him?It can be humiliating when you are trying... You did mention your church group and community outreach. Perhaps since you are in a church you are a believer and if that is the case, could it be that the Lord sent someone to you to partner with you in your efforts?
Perhaps the ways of THE LORD are not only mysterious, but are also outside the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Nah.
Well, if this was The Lord, it proves he's fallible. It didn't work. It wasn't what the OP needed and it did her no good.
How can you even FATHOM what this has done for the OP? She brought the topic up to us and came back and said that she read it all. She said NOTHING about how her mind could have changed now that some time has past.
And even if it didn't do her any "good" the road to get where you going isn't always good but good things can happen at the end because of the "bad".
MAYBE because of this she can have a little more patience with people. Or maybe it will make her skin a little thicker and realize that the only opinion that matters is HERS.
I don't think anyone should speak on behalf of the OP besides her.0 -
Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 110 -
It never ceases to amaze me when it comes to the ignorance of others. I once quit a gym because a guy there felt the need to come up to me while I was laying on the bench about to do a press and stand right over my head in shorts and tell me he could fix my form, because I benched like his ex wife. I left that day any never came back. I know how you feel, because believe it or not it happens to people all across the spectrum. My coworker had a moment last week, she has put on weight over the summer and someone asked her if she was pregnant. I felt so bad. I am a runner and have always been pretty thin, but it has not stopped people from saying rude things to me as well. I once had a guy I was seeing tell me because I ran I was a drug user. I am not trying to take away what happened to you, but it does happen more than it should when people should really just keep there mouth shut. Congratulations on your progress and good luck in the future and screw everyone else.0
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how rude honestly. Its not up to a total stranger to decide whether you need help.
Christians decide I need help all the time. They think I need to know about Jesus and they just walk up to me unsolicited and offer to help. It's rude.0 -
Wow. Yea. This was rude. Mind your own f****** business. I don't even talk to my friends about their weight. Unless you specifically reach out to me or the topic comes up, sorry; it's never appropriate to comment on someone's weight. They know themselves better than you do, and when they're ready, if they want your stupid help, they'll ask. You don't do this with friends (unless you think they're in danger) and you certainly don't do this with people you don't even know. Good grief, people are stupid. I suspect many of you who are claiming it wasn't rude would be right here in this same topic complaining about it, had it happened to you. Or if someone told you they could fix your face. Or your hair. Or your skin. Or whatever else they think is wrong with you. *eye roll*0
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So he has "some gym experience." Doesn't mean his form is correct. Doesn't mean he has any real clue how to help her. He knows what works for him.
But you don't know anything about the guy. What makes you so sure his help would be at all useful?Coming outta left field on this one ... I might have taken his "help".
But I'm pretty much a newbie and if someone wanted to help me and knew a thing or two around a gym I'd jump on it. Especially for the price of free.. js.
If he was rude or not .. that's all perspective.
Even certified trainers often give terrible advice and this is some random dude off the street.
You act like she said she was going to marry the guy.
Perhaps she would handle it the same way one handles those "certified" trainers. If it works out, great. If not, move on.
Although she called herself a "newbie." Pretty much anyone with some gym experience would be able to help out.
Or, maybe she just makes a friend (this is where everyone can chime in that the dude is obviously not worth being anyone's friend).
I'm not acting like she's going to marry him. I'm being realistic about taking such "help" from a complete stranger. You can injure yourself exercising wrong. Or he could advise her to eat in a way that is counter to her goals. She knows nothing about him and as a newbie she doesn't yet have the tools to know when she's being given wrong advice.
This guy was offering free help, and you guys are busy with your convoluted logic, trying to twist what may have been an actual opportunity for the OP.
That's ok, she'll never see the insides of a gym. Mission accomplished.
I'll leave you the last word.
Just because something is free (and Im not sure what he was offering) - that doesnt make it ok to approach a stranger in a food court and offer it to them.
Just like it wouldnt be ok to offer a stranger a free haircut because you think their hair is crap or free tweezers because you think they have facial hair or a free fashion magazine because you think their dress sense is crap.
None of these things are a strangers business and they should just say and do nothing and mind their own business.
and not seeing how whether OP ever goes to the gym is relevant here - she is acheiving her goals her own way.and anyway that is none of the stranger's business either.0 -
oh....my.....word. How utterly rude. I can not even imagine. I know that if that had happened to me when I was still large I would have cried after. I am so sorry that happened to you. Please don't let that person discourage you. I am sure he had good intentions...but I think people who have never experienced what it is like to be overweight just have no clue how a comment like that can affect a person. Keep your chin up!! 0
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That is rude..I also hate it when someone says..OhYou HaveSuch a Pretty face!...What's that suppose to mean...lol0
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Just because something is free (and Im not sure what he was offering) - that doesnt make it ok to approach a stranger in a food court and offer it to them.
Just like it wouldnt be ok to offer a stranger a free haircut because you think their hair is crap or free tweezers because you think they have facial hair or a free fashion magazine because you think their dress sense is crap.
None of these things are a strangers business and they should just say and do nothing and mind their own business.
and not seeing how whether OP ever goes to the gym is relevant here - she is acheiving her goals her own way.and anyway that is none of the stranger's business either.
good lord this.
lots of this.0 -
And your interpretation of what that means is ...?Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 110 -
And your interpretation of what that means is ...?Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 11
That you have no idea how this effected her. Maybe you should also read the post above that one.0 -
I know people like that, they wind me up and they're not even strangers!
If you happen to see him again, just approach him and say:
"Hey, I'm a plastic surgeon and I want to help you, your face looks like a baboon's bottom!!!0 -
And your interpretation of what that means is ...?Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 11
That you have no idea how this effected her. Maybe you should also read the post above that one.
You mean this one:What is wrong with people on MFP who seem to think that being overweight gives strangers the okay to make assumptions and comments on another person's body?? It doesn't matter if the OP is "sensitive" or not. What this man did was inappropriate - PERIOD.
It doesn't matter if the stranger was once overweight or thinks he can make a difference in the obesity epidemic. He does NOT know the OP, he does NOT know whether or not she has any medical issues that have resulted in her being overweight, he does NOT know if this is currently her highest weight or if she's losing weight or if she goes to the gym. He just sees her BODY. And no one's body, no matter how large, small, abled, etc., gives a perfect stranger license to approach that person to make comments about his or her body.
Also, are you going to take me up on my offer to give you the free service of fixing your eye makeup? Really, it's way too much. I can help you with your problem!0 -
Utterly out of line; don't waste any more energy stressing over it. If this is "normal" behavior for this putz, eventually he's gonna offer his callous, unwanted advice to the wrong person. And then he's likely gonna get a lifetime supply of whoop-a**!
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And your interpretation of what that means is ...?Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 11
That you have no idea how this effected her. Maybe you should also read the post above that one.
You mean this one:What is wrong with people on MFP who seem to think that being overweight gives strangers the okay to make assumptions and comments on another person's body?? It doesn't matter if the OP is "sensitive" or not. What this man did was inappropriate - PERIOD.
It doesn't matter if the stranger was once overweight or thinks he can make a difference in the obesity epidemic. He does NOT know the OP, he does NOT know whether or not she has any medical issues that have resulted in her being overweight, he does NOT know if this is currently her highest weight or if she's losing weight or if she goes to the gym. He just sees her BODY. And no one's body, no matter how large, small, abled, etc., gives a perfect stranger license to approach that person to make comments about his or her body.
Also, are you going to take me up on my offer to give you the free service of fixing your eye makeup? Really, it's way too much. I can help you with your problem!
Pretty sure the OP didn't say that
And SUUUUUUUURE if you have some helpful hints on how to better my eye make up I'd sure love it
Unlike some people on here I actually like people. If someone reached out to me I wouldn't have taken it negatively.
OH WAIT!
I have had people give me unwanted advice before and with the UNWANTED advice I merely disregarded it because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is my own.
I think the way you all are turning this man into a monster is sad. We as people should want to help people. Sounds like he was being kind and thoughtful.
But clearly since I don't know how to do my eye make up what do I know....
I don't see why make up keeps getting brought up. If I looked like Meme from the Drew Carry show I sure as **** would hope someone would pull me aside and tell me.0 -
If that were true, wouldn't THE LORD have sent someone she'd respond to instead of someone who made her feel so lousy she rejected him?It can be humiliating when you are trying... You did mention your church group and community outreach. Perhaps since you are in a church you are a believer and if that is the case, could it be that the Lord sent someone to you to partner with you in your efforts?
Perhaps the ways of THE LORD are not only mysterious, but are also outside the boundaries of acceptable behavior.
Nah.
Well, if this was The Lord, it proves he's fallible. It didn't work. It wasn't what the OP needed and it did her no good.
How can you even FATHOM what this has done for the OP? She brought the topic up to us and came back and said that she read it all. She said NOTHING about how her mind could have changed now that some time has past.
And even if it didn't do her any "good" the road to get where you going isn't always good but good things can happen at the end because of the "bad".
MAYBE because of this she can have a little more patience with people. Or maybe it will make her skin a little thicker and realize that the only opinion that matters is HERS.
I don't think anyone should speak on behalf of the OP besides her.
And since you obviously missed it the first time here you go 0 -
He may have meant well but he certainly could have approached it in a different way! Maybe waited until you got up and came to you personally instead of announcing it to the entire table, though I would never have the balls to approach a complete stranger in public about their weight. Slipped you a piece of paper with his phone number and what he wanted to say, politely on it. I know I would be embarrassed if someone approached me about my weight and made a comment like that!0
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I'm afraid I would have said, "Oh, and I can help you in return with your problem!!" Him: "What problem?" Me: "Being a complete dumb *kitten*!!!"0
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You told me to "read the post above that." I quoted the post above it.
And your interpretation of what that means is ...?Wow - this thread took off!! I'm in Australia, so when i went to bed it was at 5 pages -
i woke up today and we're at 11!! Thank you all for taking the time to weigh in and offer your insights, opinions, encouragement and for giving various points of view to consider. All good reading. Wishing you all the very best on your continued journey.
Just in case you didn't read what she had wrote on page 11
That you have no idea how this effected her. Maybe you should also read the post above that one.
You mean this one:What is wrong with people on MFP who seem to think that being overweight gives strangers the okay to make assumptions and comments on another person's body?? It doesn't matter if the OP is "sensitive" or not. What this man did was inappropriate - PERIOD.
It doesn't matter if the stranger was once overweight or thinks he can make a difference in the obesity epidemic. He does NOT know the OP, he does NOT know whether or not she has any medical issues that have resulted in her being overweight, he does NOT know if this is currently her highest weight or if she's losing weight or if she goes to the gym. He just sees her BODY. And no one's body, no matter how large, small, abled, etc., gives a perfect stranger license to approach that person to make comments about his or her body.
Also, are you going to take me up on my offer to give you the free service of fixing your eye makeup? Really, it's way too much. I can help you with your problem!
Pretty sure the OP didn't say that
And SUUUUUUUURE if you have some helpful hints on how to better my eye make up I'd sure love it
Unlike some people on here I actually like people. If someone reached out to me I wouldn't have taken it negatively.
OH WAIT!
I have had people give me unwanted advice before and with the UNWANTED advice I merely disregarded it because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is my own.
I think the way you all are turning this man into a monster is sad. We as people should want to help people. Sounds like he was being kind and thoughtful.
But clearly since I don't know how to do my eye make up what do I know....
I don't see why make up keeps getting brought up. If I looked like Meme from the Drew Carry show I sure as **** would hope someone would pull me aside and tell me.
No one is trying to speak for the OP except you. We all read what she wrote. She did speak for herself. She was humiliated and angry and hurt. "Gutted" was the word she used.0 -
seriouslyI have had people give me unwanted advice before and with the UNWANTED advice I merely disregarded it because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is my own.
I think the way you all are turning this man into a monster is sad. We as people should want to help people. Sounds like he was being kind and thoughtful.
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it's not JUST the unwanted advice- it's a complete unwanted invasion of her space0
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