Rudeness of a total stranger!
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what did he say that was rude?
Really? You don't think that approaching a stranger to point out their weight problem is rude? Where I come from - very rude!!!
Agreed you don't just approach some complete stranger in public and point something like that out. Honest private criticism from a friend is one thing but all what he was doing will do is humiliate people.
And good luck OP. I know it can be slow sometimes. But just keep trying things till you find a lifestyle that works for you.
he offered to help, he didnt point and shout 'fatty'... misguided yes, but hardly the worst thing someone could say!
So now she can't vent unless it was the worst thing someone could say?
Why do you get to decide what she finds offensive?
I can totally see the original poster's point of view.
I think that stranger was completely rude. He doesn't know her, he doesn't know what she's doing and he is incredibly presumptuous. You don't go up to total strangers and make the kind of comment he did. If she happened to be in a conversation with him and mentioned something about fitness or diet then sure, he could have interjected something at that point. But going up to random people, intruding on their private moments to tell them he can help them..no way.. rude.
so noone can have a different opinion to yours... ok then....
Big difference between having a different opinion and offering unsolicited advise to a TOTAL STRANGER.
Weak, your argument is.0 -
He just marched in with his we all gotta fit and healthy or were a failure at life mentality that frankly YOU seem to share.
:huh:
hangry much!?0 -
Hey I'm sorry this happened. You can either let it discourage you or you can carry on and 'laugh' about this inconsiderate as$ when you have done it in your own time and your way! You're doing great on your own. I know its not the same thing but I get this at least once a month with smoking... People just come up to me on the street and let me know how bad smoking is and that I should give it up. I really don't see why someone that doesn't even know you would do that. You might have a medical condition or severe depression- that's enough to push anyone over edge. Keep on going!
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And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:0 -
what did he say that was rude?
Really? You don't think that approaching a stranger to point out their weight problem is rude? Where I come from - very rude!!!
Agreed you don't just approach some complete stranger in public and point something like that out. Honest private criticism from a friend is one thing but all what he was doing will do is humiliate people.
And good luck OP. I know it can be slow sometimes. But just keep trying things till you find a lifestyle that works for you.
he offered to help, he didnt point and shout 'fatty'... misguided yes, but hardly the worst thing someone could say!
So now she can't vent unless it was the worst thing someone could say?
Why do you get to decide what she finds offensive?
I can totally see the original poster's point of view.
I think that stranger was completely rude. He doesn't know her, he doesn't know what she's doing and he is incredibly presumptuous. You don't go up to total strangers and make the kind of comment he did. If she happened to be in a conversation with him and mentioned something about fitness or diet then sure, he could have interjected something at that point. But going up to random people, intruding on their private moments to tell them he can help them..no way.. rude.
so noone can have a different opinion to yours... ok then....
Big difference between having a different opinion and offering unsolicited advise to a TOTAL STRANGER.
Weak, your argument is.
my comment about having a different opinion was in relation to the 'why do you get to decide what she finds offensive' comment, not offering unsolicited advice.0 -
And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
Your allowed whatever opinion you like. That's exactly the right that the man who approached her was ignoring. He is totally allowed to have the opinion that she needs to exercise more and lose some weight. If he had kept it to himself that is.
It doesn't mean I have to like you for it. Or agree with it. Especially if it's a weak and arrogant argument.
By the way I think that blue top you are wearing in your photo looks totally ridiculous. I know I'm a complete stranger but clearly I have the right to comment on it in your book. So i thought I would take you up on it. I mean clearly your not going to be offended that I think it makes you look like a grannies tea cosy.0 -
he offered to help, he didnt point and shout 'fatty'...
He might as well have said this!
The Guy was rude, plain and simple.
Why did he feel he had the right to do this?
The OP is right to be upset about this and i hope it hasn't dented her confidence.
"Help" like that, no one needs.0 -
And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
:sad:
Now I actually feel kinda weird about myself for ever considering saying something to someone...even if I'd been there, and knew what it was like and was willing to help them in any way that I could. I'm glad I haven't ever done this now0 -
I'm so sorry that happened to you! I think you handled the situation gracefully and with tact. I probably would have turned dark red and started crying. People just do not think before they speak. I understand he thought he was doing something good, but there are better ways to do things than embarrass a person in front of other people! I'm glad your coworker was so swift in telling him off.0
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That dude was sooo rude!! He might have genuinely wanted to help but in the middle of a food court infront of people that you where with was such bad taste, I mean you could have been out with important clients or with your boss trying to impress ect for all he knew.
If you were in a gym at the time or had been talking about join a gym and he overheard fair enough and the fact that he isn't a trainer makes it far worse to me like who is he to offer you help at the gym without even knowing you or your situation, what makes him qualified to help you ?? Even if it was done from a good place he was still a massive douche !0 -
Ok so maybe he was genuinely trying to offer help but jeez how humiliating! Sorry u had to deal with that OP0
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And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
Your allowed whatever opinion you like. That's exactly the right that the man who approached her was ignoring. He is totally allowed to have the opinion that she needs to exercise more and lose some weight. If he had kept it to himself that is.
It doesn't mean I have to like you for it. Or agree with it. Especially if it's a weak and arrogant argument.
By the way I think that blue top you are wearing in your photo looks totally ridiculous. I know I'm a complete stranger but clearly I have the right to comment on it in your book. So i thought I would take you up on it. I mean clearly your not going to be offended that I think it makes you look like a grannies tea cosy.
thats fine, you're free to stop looking at my top whenever you like. i happen to like it, tea cosy or not!0 -
And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
:sad:
Now I actually feel kinda weird about myself for ever considering saying something to someone...even if I'd been there, and knew what it was like and was willing to help them in any way that I could. I'm glad I haven't ever done this now
But if you where in the gym and offered to help me out or heard me speaking about gym ect I wouldn't be annoyed in the slightest infact I kinda wish someone in the weights area would offer to help me lol0 -
And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
Your allowed whatever opinion you like. That's exactly the right that the man who approached her was ignoring. He is totally allowed to have the opinion that she needs to exercise more and lose some weight. If he had kept it to himself that is.
It doesn't mean I have to like you for it. Or agree with it. Especially if it's a weak and arrogant argument.
By the way I think that blue top you are wearing in your photo looks totally ridiculous. I know I'm a complete stranger but clearly I have the right to comment on it in your book. So i thought I would take you up on it. I mean clearly your not going to be offended that I think it makes you look like a grannies tea cosy.
thats fine, you're free to stop looking at my top whenever you like. i happen to like it, tea cosy or not!
The point wasn't to offend you. The point was that what i just was unquestionably rude no?0 -
And OP, I think the guy could have been more tactful, but I think his heart was in the right place.
As someone who has lost a bit of weight, I occasionally want to reach out to people that I see that are just like I was - I don't think I'd ever do it, but it's crossed my mind.
i'm sorry, you're not allowed that opinion in this thread.... :laugh:
:sad:
Now I actually feel kinda weird about myself for ever considering saying something to someone...even if I'd been there, and knew what it was like and was willing to help them in any way that I could. I'm glad I haven't ever done this now
But if you where in the gym and offered to help me out or heard me speaking about gym ect I wouldn't be annoyed in the slightest infact I kinda wish someone in the weights area would offer to help me lol
Haha thanks, I feel better now - I would never approach someone in front of a group of people like that, but I'd strike up a convo with someone by themselves and go from there.
Oh and in the weights area, just ask someone to check your form, or show you around a barbell - I'm sure they'd be more than willing to help
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Ugh trust me I understand, once I was with my 2 (much skinnier) friends at the mall after getting ice cream. The other 2 finished their cups and we went into a shoe store (while I still had my ice cream) and the attendant came up to us and asked if we needed any help.
After we all said no, she looked me up and down and said, "You shouldn't eat so much ice cream, your friends probably don't eat ice cream, that's why they're so skinny while you're..." and at this point she blew her cheeks out and spread her arms around herself (to show I was bigger than them.0 -
Ugh trust me I understand, once I was with my 2 (much skinnier) friends at the mall after getting ice cream. The other 2 finished their cups and we went into a shoe store (while I still had my ice cream) and the attendant came up to us and asked if we needed any help.
After we all said no, she looked me up and down and said, "You shouldn't eat so much ice cream, your friends probably don't eat ice cream, that's why they're so skinny while you're..." and at this point she blew her cheeks out and spread her arms around herself (to show I was bigger than them.
Thanks b*tch.
Anyone who tried that *kitten* with me would be picking their teeth up off the floor lol.0 -
Ugh trust me I understand, once I was with my 2 (much skinnier) friends at the mall after getting ice cream. The other 2 finished their cups and we went into a shoe store (while I still had my ice cream) and the attendant came up to us and asked if we needed any help.
After we all said no, she looked me up and down and said, "You shouldn't eat so much ice cream, your friends probably don't eat ice cream, that's why they're so skinny while you're..." and at this point she blew her cheeks out and spread her arms around herself (to show I was bigger than them. Thanks b*tch.
Anyone who tried that *kitten* with me would be picking their teeth up off the floor lol.
I like to pretend I'm a badass but at that moment all I could think to do was laugh awkwardly while my friends were angry enough on my behalf to berate her and drag me out of there.0 -
Ugh trust me I understand, once I was with my 2 (much skinnier) friends at the mall after getting ice cream. The other 2 finished their cups and we went into a shoe store (while I still had my ice cream) and the attendant came up to us and asked if we needed any help.
After we all said no, she looked me up and down and said, "You shouldn't eat so much ice cream, your friends probably don't eat ice cream, that's why they're so skinny while you're..." and at this point she blew her cheeks out and spread her arms around herself (to show I was bigger than them. Thanks b*tch.
Anyone who tried that *kitten* with me would be picking their teeth up off the floor lol.
I like to pretend I'm a badass but at that moment all I could think to do was laugh awkwardly while my friends were angry enough on my behalf to berate her and drag me out of there.
Well yeah maybe i wouldn't have actually hit him. Was more a turn of phrase. I'm not so barmy to risk getting rung up on assault charges just because I meet someone rude. But I would have at least managed an insult right back. XD0 -
what did he say that was rude?
Really? You don't think that approaching a stranger to point out their weight problem is rude? Where I come from - very rude!!!
Agreed you don't just approach some complete stranger in public and point something like that out. Honest private criticism from a friend is one thing but all what he was doing will do is humiliate people.
And good luck OP. I know it can be slow sometimes. But just keep trying things till you find a lifestyle that works for you.
Yeah, It would be like a hair stylist approaching someone and being like 'I work in a salon, please let me help you with your problem. I won't even charge you for the haircut.'
Is it wrong that I totally would not turn down a free haircut if that happened to me?
I would totally take the free haircut. My hair is really not a priority to me so it could do with someone giving it some free attention.0
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