Just need to vent
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And re: the health vs. weight loss thing, it's a balancing act. You can pick a crazy low goal and eat nothing but rice cakes and protein powder, and you'll end up skinny but sick. Or you can ignore calories and eat as much "healthy" food as you want (however you define that -- it's different for every person), and your overall health may improve but you won't lose weight.
Maybe something in the middle?
Pick a moderate weight loss goal, like 1 pound or even 1/2 pound a week. Don't automatically reach for low-fat products, if for no other reason than they tend to taste nasty. If you can find a calorie target that lets you eat the things you like, and enough of them that you don't feel deprived, the weight will start to come off without feeling like you're constantly struggling.
Weight loss isn't punishment, and it shouldn't make you feel like you are suffering. Slow and steady still gets you there, and it keeps you happy with your life while you're losing.
Thanks for this. I need a reminder sometime. I think that was the biggest problem with WW. I lost over 90 lbs in about 1 year. It was almost impossible to maintain. I lost 40 pounds over 2 years on MFP. I can't say if I would have gained it back or not if I didn't have a baby. I am still about 15 pounds lighter than my heaviest. We are hoping to get pregnant again soon, and I hope that I only gain about 30 pounds like before. That would put me at 10 pounds or so over my heaviest weight. Maybe the reason I am hesitating counting calories again is that I don't want to start if I am going to be pregnant. It is not something I am comfortable doing while pregnant. I am aware that it is probably fine, and that others do it, but I am not comfortable doing it. Anyway, your post made me think about the difference between my WW and MFP weight loss journey's. Of course, by the time I was done with WW, I was 140 lbs. That was not even my goal weight, they had me at 136 or so, which a different leader then told me was unrealistic. I never ate anything at all, it was so hard. I went super slow on MFP. Maybe that is what I need...to go super slow again.0 -
Welcome back! You're here again and you lost 40 lbs before so you know what it takes. When you are ready, I have no doubt you'll do it again. I'm hoping that, if we focus on a lifestyle change, not just quick weight loss, it can be the last time we've gotta lose it. Best of luck!0
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Count your calories0
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It seems like changing how you think about counting calories could really help. Weight loss is basically just math. (Health is a different piece, so leave that out for now and just think about weight loss). Take away the judgement about how many calories women are "supposed" to eat or any of that garbage, and it's just a math equation. The calories you take in - the calories you expend = change in weight. (Even when people have things like thyroid issues that impact weight, it's really just impacting one of the variables in that equation; the math still applies). Counting calories just gives you a more accurate way to track one of the variables in the equation. It's just better data collection, nothing more.
Having a strict calorie target can be kind of a head trip for some people. If that's you, try approaching it as a range -- for example, say you can eat between 1700 and 1800 calories per day (or wherever those numbers actually fall). It can keep you from getting to insane, trying to get everything to fit perfectly, but it still gives you a consistent ballpark to play in. Try doing that for four weeks, then look back at the data and determine if you're getting your desired results.0 -
I just have to say.....people are being a lot more supportive these last couple of pages. This is how I remembered MFP.......0
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Could it be you grab every excuse you can find.....to stop eating healthy,give up on losing,giving up on exercise?
I have been there & done that too many times to count. Now I'm one of the slowest losers there is. In over a yr on MFP
It's not just wt lost.I have learned so much & still learning what works for me. Getting fatter isn't in the cards.
Sure wish I had stayed with a diet many yrs ago,but didn't. Right now is my time to eat better,walk more & see where it takes me.
Remember,there is no such thing as cutting back for a few wks to lose wt. Read the boards, forget the scales. I weigh in once a mo.,Think it thru. Find what is the way to go for you.
Good luck......you can do it. Pat
This! There are a lot of people on here who have lost what I'm trying to lose in over a year. I'm two years in, since my son was born, and I've only lost 29 pounds. I feel it's a snail's pace, but I am happy with this. It means I'm making changes that will stick for the long term. I will not look back, only forward. I've never hated myself, but I would let my inner demons bring me down. Not anymore. I am making progress in other ways and it's keeping me moving forward.
Before I had my son, I was up and down until I finally hit 218. I said no more trying and giving up. I got into the lower 190's then got pregnant. Today I weighed 204. I'm still not down to my pre-pregnancy weight but I'm not letting it stop me. My highest while pregnant was 250 and I dropped to 230-something after having him. It took months (I mean like 6 or more) before I started seeing a few pounds drop off, but the most important thing is that I didn't give up.
Don't give up. Don't say what's the point. Tell yourself you're going to lose weight. If you feel like your body is fighting you, fight back!! After some time your body will realize you mean business and cooperate. Don't like what the scale says? Punish it. Put it in the closet until it too feels like cooperating. Oh, and Happy Friday :flowerforyou:0 -
My point didn't come across in my post. What I meant to say was at first my friend saw no changes for like months and then suddenly, the weight finally started coming off as he continued to run. He is also an asthmatic so he would have to repeat several of the C25K weeks until his lungs would be able to handle running that long at a time. I keep giving up too quickly. Probably right before I am about to see a change. I have been doing everything right for the last 40 days and I didn't see a loss until 2 days ago. Then I woke up today and was up a half lb. I know it is only a half lb but it still ticked me off because I was good yesterday. I didn't exercise due to back injections but I was under my calorie goal. It is frustrating and I get that. Lets keep after it!0
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This! There are a lot of people on here who have lost what I'm trying to lose in over a year. I'm two years in, since my son was born, and I've only lost 29 pounds. I feel it's a snail's pace, but I am happy with this. It means I'm making changes that will stick for the long term. I will not look back, only forward. I've never hated myself, but I would let my inner demons bring me down. Not anymore. I am making progress in other ways and it's keeping me moving forward.
This is true. Going slower will probably make it last longer. Getting pregnant threw a wrench it weight loss. I didn't really gain until my last trimester, when I just couldn't stop eating.0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
Logging will also help you maintain so you don't gain it all back. You will learn what your calorie intake is to lose and to maintain (and this will change as you lose weight and as you perhaps begin different sorts of exercise). Once you get to goal weight, you will know how much to continue to eat. You will be more in control of everything than when you just could eat "this number of points" with WW and then once you were off WW then you didn't track any more.0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
OP - I know there's been some twists and turns with this thread but it sounds like everyone is mostly on the same page now and you are receptive to the advice you are being given. With regards to your comments about feeling destined to fail, thinking you won't be able to keep the weight off, I wanted to make three points.
First, if you have realistic goals and lose weight at a reasonable pace - I think that ultimately makes it easier to keep the weight off. You mentioned that you lost 80lbs in a year on WW, that may have been too fast to sustain.
Second, knowing how much you are eating by tracking and logging your food (and yes, weighing and measuring too), will ultimately help you determine what calorie level you need in order to be at a deficit to lose weight, but also in order to maintain your weight in the long term. You may not have to track your food forever or log calories on a site like MFP, but people who continue to use the tools once in maintenance are often the ones who are able to successfully keep the weight off.
Third, I kind of get the feeling that you are looking at the weight loss as a process with an end point. In order to be successful long term, you need to look at this as a lifestyle change and recognize that there is no end point with regards to your health. Well there is one, but by not taking your health seriously (not saying you aren't), you will reach that end point sooner than you may like.
In summary - set reasonable goals, weigh/measure/log your food, understand your numbers, and know that you will be doing this for a very long time. Not just until you get pregnant again, or until you get the baby weight off, or some other life event that you have in mind.0 -
random double post, sorry0
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I just have to say.....people are being a lot more supportive these last couple of pages. This is how I remembered MFP.......
It's all up to you OP. Its all a mind game. At least for me it is. I work out hard and I eat in a deficit, but I don't lose weight. Hmmm obviously I make myself believe that I am eating in a deficit and logging everything, but I probably snacked on something without even thinking about logging it.
My point is you have to be mentally there and ready for this journey. You can get side tracked or even make excuses, but if you really want it you will have it. So when you really want weight loss and are ready for the journey....you shall have weight loss.
It is up to you. You are your only obstacle. So the first thing that you must do is start thinking about you and what you really want. Don't let you stop you.
Good luck!!0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
Logging will also help you maintain so you don't gain it all back. You will learn what your calorie intake is to lose and to maintain (and this will change as you lose weight and as you perhaps begin different sorts of exercise). Once you get to goal weight, you will know how much to continue to eat. You will be more in control of everything than when you just could eat "this number of points" with WW and then once you were off WW then you didn't track any more.
Goal weight is a problem for me. I lost so much with WW, and never got to goal. It was discouraging to say the least. Right now, i set my goal for like 10 lbs light than I am. Honestly, I think I would just be happy under 200.....which is a far cry from when I was gaining and hit 170-180. I swore I would never gain it back, even when I had gained 40 lbs back. I'm not sure how it happened, and it makes me think that it will just happen again anyway. I mean, I freaked out after gaining 40 lbs back, but I continued to gain another 60 or so. How does that even happen? This is where I am stuck.0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
Logging will also help you maintain so you don't gain it all back. You will learn what your calorie intake is to lose and to maintain (and this will change as you lose weight and as you perhaps begin different sorts of exercise). Once you get to goal weight, you will know how much to continue to eat. You will be more in control of everything than when you just could eat "this number of points" with WW and then once you were off WW then you didn't track any more.
Goal weight is a problem for me. I lost so much with WW, and never got to goal. It was discouraging to say the least. Right now, i set my goal for like 10 lbs light than I am. Honestly, I think I would just be happy under 200.....which is a far cry from when I was gaining and hit 170-180. I swore I would never gain it back, even when I had gained 40 lbs back. I'm not sure how it happened, and it makes me think that it will just happen again anyway. I mean, I freaked out after gaining 40 lbs back, but I continued to gain another 60 or so. How does that even happen? This is where I am stuck.
A lot of people set interim goals for themselves. Sometimes just seeing progress and achieving a short term goal can motivate you to keep going. That's also why people focus on things called NSV's (Non Scale Victories). Because everyone has set backs and plateaus and gets frustrated, but focusing on positive things like "I can run 2 miles without stopping" or "Went down a pant size" helps keep you going!
You kind of seem like you want some magic solution that is going to get all the weight off quickly and keep it off forever. It really doesn't work like that. Manageable goals and consistency. That's my best advice for you. I didn't lose as much weight as some people on here, and it took me about a year to lose it, but I have logged every single day since starting MFP. Even now in maintenance, I still log all my food. I know that will help me be successful in the long run. I may not have to log forever, but for the foreseeable future, I plan to.0 -
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
Logging will also help you maintain so you don't gain it all back. You will learn what your calorie intake is to lose and to maintain (and this will change as you lose weight and as you perhaps begin different sorts of exercise). Once you get to goal weight, you will know how much to continue to eat. You will be more in control of everything than when you just could eat "this number of points" with WW and then once you were off WW then you didn't track any more.
Goal weight is a problem for me. I lost so much with WW, and never got to goal. It was discouraging to say the least. Right now, i set my goal for like 10 lbs light than I am. Honestly, I think I would just be happy under 200.....which is a far cry from when I was gaining and hit 170-180. I swore I would never gain it back, even when I had gained 40 lbs back. I'm not sure how it happened, and it makes me think that it will just happen again anyway. I mean, I freaked out after gaining 40 lbs back, but I continued to gain another 60 or so. How does that even happen? This is where I am stuck.
It's a change of mind-set. You can do it, and you can learn how to maintain so you won't gain it back. I'm certain of it. Although I did not have that much to lose, I was very set in my thinking about eating and exercise, and I was able to change my thinking. You can do it too. Logging in here every day, tracking food, getting into exercise and actually beginning to like it, developing a network of friends here to encourage and be encouraged by, joining some groups here of people with like goals to participate in challenges, all of those things help me. And, I will continue to do this because it is so easy to slip back into old habits. That's a place I don't want to go.0 -
deleted my post.
Sorry OP, I should not have let myself be baited like that. My apology. I hope you find the right path for you.
No one baited you. This is what you do in any thread you enter.
OP...I posted a link earlier, there's a lot of good info there. They might even help you find the motivation. Some people also read a lot of the success stories and that motivates them.
Because there have been a lot of posts I'll post that link again
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1455850-new-here-have-questions-this-may-help
Totally missed that before. I will check it out.
One thing I noticed is that people latched on to my negative comment, but no one replied when I said I had lost 90+ lbs with WW 13 years ago or so. I gained that back plus some extra weight. I have the mind set of, "it doesn't matter anyway, because I will only gain it back." I was what one would call thin for about 2 years. Then I was slightly overweight for a few years. Then I was fat again. I have a hard time believing that I can actually be successful at it. If I couldn't keep off even part of the 90+ pounds I lost, I won't be able to keep anything off. I maintained for a few years, than it all fell apart. (After I lived in Scotland for a month and ate whatever I wanted because I walked all the time and figured it didn't matter anymore). That is were I am with weight loss I guess.
Logging will also help you maintain so you don't gain it all back. You will learn what your calorie intake is to lose and to maintain (and this will change as you lose weight and as you perhaps begin different sorts of exercise). Once you get to goal weight, you will know how much to continue to eat. You will be more in control of everything than when you just could eat "this number of points" with WW and then once you were off WW then you didn't track any more.
Goal weight is a problem for me. I lost so much with WW, and never got to goal. It was discouraging to say the least. Right now, i set my goal for like 10 lbs light than I am. Honestly, I think I would just be happy under 200.....which is a far cry from when I was gaining and hit 170-180. I swore I would never gain it back, even when I had gained 40 lbs back. I'm not sure how it happened, and it makes me think that it will just happen again anyway. I mean, I freaked out after gaining 40 lbs back, but I continued to gain another 60 or so. How does that even happen? This is where I am stuck.
If analyzing it helps you that is great, but if it is stopping you from acting maybe try to think of it as a new start. I know if I think about how I got here I just feel sad. But if I plan for the future I am able to make positive changes. I may reassess my goal once I get there. I am aiming for a normal bmi. Small goals can be good.0 -
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein0 -
First off void out the negativity and listen to the people being positive.
Most often than not people have the thought in their mind that they want to loose weight or they want to excercise more often, they want to become a healthier version of themselves but they aren't in the right mindset to do it. I'm speaking from experience, I have struggled to put on weight for years. I was always told I was to small and needed to put some meat on my bones. I started lifting and training about two years ago but always made excuses not to go one day or not to eat right and I was constently upset with my results. Then, finally a switch flipped in my head and I said enough is enough if I'm going to do this then I'm going to do it right. Since that day about a year ago, I have dropped my body fat percentage by 4%, which may not seem like much but I am 6'1" and weigh 165lbs, I have become an affiliate athelete with the supplement company I use and I've seen an unbelievable difference in my appearance and the way I feel day in and day out. I know my prosses is the opposite of ,ost people but I still have the struggles. There are going to be a lot of days when you feel like it's too much, you just have to dig deep and remind yourself why you're doing this. Wether it be for yourself or for your children or even your spouse. Remind yourself why. It is always good to find a person that you look up to who has accomplished the goals you are looking to accomplish. There are many websites and social media pages about body transformations and weight loss who tag the people in there posts. Most of these people are generous and will take time out of their day to help you re-motivate or just simply answer your questions. I see that your mindset has changed a little since the original post. Keep it up and keep up the progress even if it is slow.0 -
And you wanna know WHY YOU SHOULD BOTHER??
Because your son will be left without a mother.
Because it SUCKS not having a parent around because they passed away due to obesity related issues. I am 26 years old and lost my Dad last year because he couldn't "bother" to try.
Think about it.
I'm not so fat that I am going to die anytime soon, but thanks for that assumption I guess. My cholesterol, triglycerides, sugar, etc are all extremely healthy.
My Dad wasn't so fat either and it took him 10 years of the attitude of "why should I bother, this isn't working" to finally pass away. My point is you have the chance now, to dig deep, and find why you feel the way you're feeling. That was the one question that was never asked to my Dad which is why I believe he didn't want to bother anymore. His rapid decline really only took place in his last 6 months. Most of this whole thing is mental. Weight a lot of times comes from emotional struggles over the years. Heck, I know this first hand seeing my own weight change as the years go by. I read a few of your other posts in this thread and I know you have what it takes to get to your goal. Now it is time to change things up a bit to get the scale moving in the direction you desire (if indeed weight loss is your goal).0 -
And you wanna know WHY YOU SHOULD BOTHER??
Because your son will be left without a mother.
Because it SUCKS not having a parent around because they passed away due to obesity related issues. I am 26 years old and lost my Dad last year because he couldn't "bother" to try.
Think about it.
I'm not so fat that I am going to die anytime soon, but thanks for that assumption I guess. My cholesterol, triglycerides, sugar, etc are all extremely healthy.
My Dad wasn't so fat either and it took him 10 years of the attitude of "why should I bother, this isn't working" to finally pass away. My point is you have the chance now, to dig deep, and find why you feel the way you're feeling. That was the one question that was never asked to my Dad which is why I believe he didn't want to bother anymore. His rapid decline really only took place in his last 6 months. Most of this whole thing is mental. Weight a lot of times comes from emotional struggles over the years. Heck, I know this first hand seeing my own weight change as the years go by. I read a few of your other posts in this thread and I know you have what it takes to get to your goal. Now it is time to change things up a bit to get the scale moving in the direction you desire (if indeed weight loss is your goal).
This is exactly what I was trying to get across........I read the obituaries, and there are plenty of 30, 40 and 50 year olds..... My Dr was very honest with me and told me if I didn't lose the weight, it was going to kill me......he was harsh, but he had to get a point across to me.........He stated that being obese WILL kill you.......no and ifs or buts
I have loved ones I care about , and I lost 105 lbs and have about 40 more, but I make myself go to the gym daily, actually , 6 days out of the week and I stay one to two hours........I am doing thiis for me, and my loved ones.....I care about all of us
so, if she didnt agree, fine, no need for name calling.......I be been here for 1, 471 days of continous logging in.......I dont think this is a joke, I take it seriously..............0
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