Why do so many women care what men prefer?

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  • frayst
    frayst Posts: 62
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    Really sick of the insecurity answer. How about because it's only natural to want to appeal to the opposite sex ... it's called sexual selection. If only we could admit to ourselves that we want to secure a sexual partner instead of berating other women for wanting to do exactly that. Disclaimer: not to be mistaken for putting up with abusive, degrading, or non-reciprocating partners, aka making sammiches for a demanding man who never makes you sammiches in return and doesn't respect you.

    Ding ding ding. Winner winner chicken dinner. Although I will say...some relationships are structured to make a sammich for the man that doesn't make you sammiches (because you don't eat them) and as long as both parties are into it, it's fine. Personally I also like kneeling by his chair while he strokes my hair :tongue:

    Right. As long as he is reciprocating in one fashion or another and you are both satisfied.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I don't care what men prefer. I do like looking pretty. Pretty for me, not somebody else's pretty.

    If you haven't noticed "attractive" is a big umbrella.
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    Subjective theory of value.

    I haven't read about this. But I'd like to find out if there's anything there or if it's pseudo-intellectualism. I mean it sounds obvious on the surface, doesn't it? Worth, by its very nature, is comparative, not absolute.
  • trojan_bb
    trojan_bb Posts: 699 Member
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    Subjective theory of value.

    I haven't read about this. But I'd like to find out if there's anything there or if it's pseudo-intellectualism. I mean it sounds obvious on the surface, doesn't it? Worth, by its very nature, is comparative, not absolute.

    hmm? It's an idea spread by classical economists followed by Austrian economists, rejecting labor theory of value (Marx and others who believe value is proportional to the societal labor put in). Not pseudo-intellectualism. Not scientific fact either.

    it forms the basis of modern free market philosophy
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    I like a healthy balance. I'm old fashioned. My preference comes first BUT I do enjoy making my man happy. As long as I'm happy too, I don't see the harm in caring what men prefer too.
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    I don't.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Men are very visual. Women are compatible with that. It's part of evolution.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,956 Member
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    It is so terrible to suggest, that instead of being obsessed with what the opposite sex thinks or prefers, you should look to your own self-worth, like yourself and find someone who likes you for you as you are. Such an awful POV...shame on me. :laugh:

    It's a comfortable belief much like belief in an afterlife is comforting.

    If you read solarpower's answer and my response, you'd know that I don't believe humans have intrinsic self worth. Subjective theory of value.

    And I argue that the inundation of the obsession with visual perfection is perpetuated with media

    Or the media reflects an existing obsession.

    No intrinsic worth. Well, humans are naturally self-serving...but there is perceived worth. Worth we have perceived that we have earned and worth that people perceive in others. Might not be intrinsic, but what we are talking about lies in perceptions, doesn't it. Take a girl in shabby clothes with no make-up and untidy hair. Compare her a girl made-up and dressed provocatively. What worth do we project on one and not the other, based upon mere appearances?

    The comforting belief: It is a comforting belief, but I think having good self-esteem is important. I used to hate myself. Now my perspective has changed. And maybe my behavior has changed as well to some degree. My husband perceives me as a good mother and wife. He thinks I am attractive. Others may disagree. In the end, my perceptions of myself, and the perceptions about me of those important to my life, are the most important perceptions to me.

    I still disagree about the media. I see the media as "magnifying" underlying preoccupations inherent in the human animal. Without the magnifier, I believe the preoccupation would have less power. Would be less intense. But good point.
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Because they have a penis and a wallet. Duh.
  • Aero1dynamic
    Aero1dynamic Posts: 702 Member
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    Because they have a penis and a wallet. Duh.


    Best ( and truest, imo) answer ever!
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Actually I mostly dont! lol

    answer matches avi.

    ETA: Is that a snowflake on your beanie?

    Protection pentagram...can't be possessed while wearing it! It's from the show Supernatural....no I'm not into witchcraft!!

    Silver Pentagram


    The most common symbol of Neo-Pagan Witchcraft, it has nevertheless been denigrated by movie and publishing industries that try to connect it with Satanism and other malevolent practices. However, like the Roman Cross or Crucifix, it is only when the symbol is INVERTED that it alludes to negativity. In its usual upright position (one point uppermost), the pentagram is an ancient symbol of protection from evil. Also called the endless knot (in its interlaced form), the pentagram was often displayed on doors, windows, and hearths of houses throughout pre-Christian Europe . It can be traced back to Egyptian and Sumerian cultures, and has even been found on Native American medicine tools. Sometimes confused with the Star of David, or hexagram (a six-pointed star emblematic of Judaism), the pentagram is sometimes called the Star of Solomon, especially by ceremonial magicians.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,956 Member
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    Because they have a penis and a wallet. Duh.


    Best ( and truest, imo) answer ever!

    :laugh:
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,296 Member
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    Actually I mostly dont! lol

    answer matches avi.

    ETA: Is that a snowflake on your beanie?

    Protection pentagram...can't be possessed while wearing it! It's from the show Supernatural....no I'm not into witchcraft!!

    Silver Pentagram


    The most common symbol of Neo-Pagan Witchcraft, it has nevertheless been denigrated by movie and publishing industries that try to connect it with Satanism and other malevolent practices. However, like the Roman Cross or Crucifix, it is only when the symbol is INVERTED that it alludes to negativity. In its usual upright position (one point uppermost), the pentagram is an ancient symbol of protection from evil. Also called the endless knot (in its interlaced form), the pentagram was often displayed on doors, windows, and hearths of houses throughout pre-Christian Europe . It can be traced back to Egyptian and Sumerian cultures, and has even been found on Native American medicine tools. Sometimes confused with the Star of David, or hexagram (a six-pointed star emblematic of Judaism), the pentagram is sometimes called the Star of Solomon, especially by ceremonial magicians.
    Off topic, but that reminded me of one of my favorite albums...
    Solomons_seal.png
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    Not all of us care. I don't.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    to look at this from a slightly less serious perspective than some...I find it interesting or even amusing sometimes, to find out that some/many men find certain things cute, sexy, or otherwise attractive, especially when it's something that I would never think of as traditionally "attractive" or even feminine. For example, I know a couple of guys who go crazy for girls in baseball caps with a ponytail coming out the back. When I had long hair I'd wear that mainly as a utility thing when in a Jeep or on a boat maybe, but I certainly didn't think it was appealing to guys...so it's funny to hear that a lot of guys like it! I honestly think many women are perfectly secure and comfortable in their own skin and femininity but just find it INTERESTING to see what guys like. Same with many other seemingly odd or random examples, like Keds tennies, shorts, freckles, big eyes, big bums, small boobs...even braces on teeth can be appealing to some guys and I don't mean all fetishistic but just a general "aw that's so cute on ladies" kind of thing.
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
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    I keep rearranging the question in my head - not so much, why do so many women care what men prefer, but...

    ...why do so many women care TOO MUCH about what men prefer?

    It's natural to care about one's appearance in the hopes of attracting someone (whether it's opposite or same sex, depending on you, it could apply in both scenarios), but... there comes to be a time when one cares too much about it and that's when people do desperate things, I think.

    There's nothing wrong with preference until -
    1. You start doing stuff against your comfort zone/level or nature in order to attract someone,
    2. You start putting others down for THEIR preferences.

    Otherwise, eh. I think it's a natural thing.
  • JojoW8183
    JojoW8183 Posts: 540 Member
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    Men are very visual. Women are compatible with that. It's part of evolution.

    Science bishes. :tongue: lol
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,521 Member
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    I only care about what my husband prefers...ok, that's a lie. I still do what I want.
  • DenDweller
    DenDweller Posts: 1,438 Member
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    hmm? It's an idea spread by classical economists followed by Austrian economists, rejecting labor theory of value (Marx and others who believe value is proportional to the societal labor put in). Not pseudo-intellectualism. Not scientific fact either.

    it forms the basis of modern free market philosophy

    Your post would've been quite helpful without the "hmm?". I find the addition vaguely condescending. Is that what you were going for?

    I do have to read more about the specific theory. I mentioned that.

    My point is the idea that worth is generated only through the process of having more than one person evaluate and try to compare how much they want an entity/object is self-evident. It is the very nature of the concept of worth. I would assess it pseudo-intellectualism if it is merely a discussion of what seems obvious, regardless of pedigree. If it, however brings out new concepts, I'd love to know more.

    And based on the new information you provided above, if the theory is a discussion of potential practical applications to an economy that's also understandable, if drier, but quite frankly, less interesting to me.

    But, I do want to find out more. So, thanks. :smile:
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    to look at this from a slightly less serious perspective than some...I find it interesting or even amusing sometimes, to find out that some/many men find certain things cute, sexy, or otherwise attractive, especially when it's something that I would never think of as traditionally "attractive" or even feminine. For example, I know a couple of guys who go crazy for girls in baseball caps with a ponytail coming out the back. When I had long hair I'd wear that mainly as a utility thing when in a Jeep or on a boat maybe, but I certainly didn't think it was appealing to guys...so it's funny to hear that a lot of guys like it! I honestly think many women are perfectly secure and comfortable in their own skin and femininity but just find it INTERESTING to see what guys like. Same with many other seemingly odd or random examples, like Keds tennies, shorts, freckles, big eyes, big bums, small boobs...even braces on teeth can be appealing to some guys and I don't mean all fetishistic but just a general "aw that's so cute on ladies" kind of thing.

    Mmhmm, yes! And fetishes are very interesting as well.

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