My Boyfriends dog is number one, I am number two.

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  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Thinks it's funny (and ironic) you called yourself #2. ((hugs))
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    Yeah, there is something off here. I would sit down and just ask him straight up... what's going on. Ask him why he feels compelled to allow the dog in the room during those intimate moments and why he is spending more time being affectionate with the dog than with you. Talk to him with straight talk - no dropping hints because guys either ignore them because hints piss them off or they just really don't get the hint - about how this change in his behavior and the obsession with the dog is making you feel, uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with telling him how his actions make you feel. It could be as simple as he had a dog when he was a kid and he is reliving that joy, like someone else said it could be his way of making you break it off (I know guys like this) or... it could be something more in that he enjoys the excitement it brings from you getting upset with the dog in the room during 'those moments' because it is deemed 'wrong'.

    Which ever of these situations, you need to be honest and straightforward with him....
  • millermichellelea
    millermichellelea Posts: 226
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    Basically you have to decide what it to much for you. This is one thing, what comes next? If this is his personality type he may have issues like this over and over again. If this is hurting you this much without his realization, perhaps he may not be the best match for you. If you do think he is the one, then talk to him and let him know you are not happy with the way things are in the relationship and what you need to change for it to be healthy again. Don't get upset if he doesn't listen, that will be the "when" you have to decide what is best for your piece of mind.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Have you ever told him your reservations about all this? I mean to the extent in which you feel? Guys are exactly adept at catching hints.
  • chantalicious
    chantalicious Posts: 68
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    Ultimately you're making the decision to stay and put up with the behavior. I'm sure you've had a talk with him about this already. You're deciding to be unhappy, so do something about it because you deserve to be #1.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    Have you ever told him your reservations about all this? I mean to the extent in which you feel? Guys are exactly adept at catching hints.

    I havent mentioned it besdies my few passive agressive jokes abnout it. Which is the wimpy way out. I have trouble with these types of conversations, but know it needs to happen. I get the whole "guy and his dog" but know that it isnt acceptable for me to not be treated the way I feel I should.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    Wow. Sounds like our first few months with our new baby! LOL But that's more warranted, I think.

    I would have a serious talk with your boyfriend. Then do what you feel is best.

    Personally, I have no time for this type of BS. I'd probably leave and wish him well with his new lover.
  • deandp371
    deandp371 Posts: 63
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    Just be glad you're finding this out now and not later...
  • MsSunshine2011
    MsSunshine2011 Posts: 9
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    I am quite like your boyfriend. I have refused to go on trips, left a party early, or choose to go home to spend time with my pets then with my date or my friends. But I definitely don't want my pets around during sex. I also don't cuddle them because I can't - they're reptiles, not because I don't want to. I am guilty of looking at pictures of my pets on my phone when lying in bed with my boyfriend (but not when we were making out).

    I can't speak for your boyfriend but I really, really don't think he sees his dog as number one and you second. I really don't think so. He likely didn't know how much his actions are bothering you. He just adores his dog and misses it immensely when he is away from it. Have a chat with him, let him know how you really feel about this. Hope this helps, good luck! :wink:
  • Dpoane
    Dpoane Posts: 1
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    My boyfriend is the same way ~ I have talked to him about the very same problem and I swear he looks at me like I am NUTS! - Well, I beg to differ - no sir - human and dogs are different.... fight for your rights, your hugs, love and affection... dogs are great to have as a companion, but they are an ANIMAL people!! GET REAL.... What is wrong with these PEOPLE??? Mentally disconnected from having human affection... GET SOME HELP!
  • hill2302
    hill2302 Posts: 139 Member
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    Hold on here a second folks. We're missing a huge part of the equation. The OP left out a vital piece of information I think we all need to know before doling out advice like uppers at a cheerleading convention.

    Now... exactly what kind of dog is this?
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
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    I think its really cute and actually a turn-on when I guy loves his dog but that's definitely over the top. Especially having it in the bedroom... that would creep me out.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
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    Next time he's laying down cuddling with his dog on the floor, strut around in something sexy. If he ignores you, then you have a tough decision to make.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    I think you need another dog. Or a cat. Dogs love cats.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    hhmmmm...there's nothing interesting on page 1 of "Chit Chat, fun and Games" so I'll click on page 45 and see what was going on last January. :huh:

    mo'kay! :laugh:
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I get a lot of what your bf is doing, I have a dog, I have left places early because I have to let her out, I've not gone on trips if I couldn't afford to board her somewhere, however if things were getting intimate the dog was moved to another room...more like BEFORE things got intimate the dog was moved to a new room. My dog, who would like to spend her life attached to my hip, was totally fine and her world didn't end. I wouldn't say, 'It's me or the dog' because I would not respond well to that ultimatum, no matter their reasons, I would, however suggest things like not sleeping there if the dog is in the bed, not having sex there while the dog is in the room. Thing get intimate YOU move of the dog, if he says no then moment is over and tell him that. Talk to him about it, and don't make the dog the bad guy, the dog is doing nothing wrong, your boyfriend is being a little awkward though.
  • rockabyesarojane
    rockabyesarojane Posts: 471
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    I get a lot of what your bf is doing, I have a dog, I have left places early because I have to let her out, I've not gone on trips if I couldn't afford to board her somewhere, however if things were getting intimate the dog was moved to another room...more like BEFORE things got intimate the dog was moved to a new room. My dog, who would like to spend her life attached to my hip, was totally fine and her world didn't end. I wouldn't say, 'It's me or the dog' because I would not respond well to that ultimatum, no matter their reasons, I would, however suggest things like not sleeping there if the dog is in the bed, not having sex there while the dog is in the room. Thing get intimate YOU move of the dog, if he says no then moment is over and tell him that. Talk to him about it, and don't make the dog the bad guy, the dog is doing nothing wrong, your boyfriend is being a little awkward though.

    agree.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    LOL, this is quite an old threat. Dead thread should stay dead. =P I doubt the person is even on here to read this anymore.
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
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    While animals need attention, he seems to be going a little overboard. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and ask how you can both compromise.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    I really like my boyfriend, and I really love his dog. He adopted him after a few months into us dating. The dog is affectionate and adorable. I have grown rather attached to him. The actual problem is how this man lets the dog dominate his entire life, which is ruining our relationship. He cannot spend one night without it. We cannot go on trips where the dog cannot stay, and even if we do, we cannot stay long because we have to "get back" -- same with even short social gatherings. Moreover, he lets the dog sleep wherever it wants (in between us in his bed), and he insists that it is "cute" or "funny" that the dog seeks affection during and after we do the dirty. I can even count on one hand how many times we've been intimate without the dog in the room, which is now disgusting me as I write this. It has ruined the intimacy level in our relationship, since he believes that shutting the dog out of the bedroom is also cruel. He will often lie around kissing, stroking and petting the dog (even lying on the floor with it) in front of me while we spend time together, but refuses to give me the same affection (he was very loving at the start of our relationship, however). It is really slowly starting to upset me and may even drive me to a breaking point. I have said little things like - "I would like to lay next to my boyfriend" or, "I never sleep at your place with the dog in the bed". Nothing. Am I crazy and seeing things? Does he have a problem or do I? I'm smart enough to know that there's something wrong with this picture at this point and have been giving him the benefit of the doubt to come around due to his redeeming qualities, but on the same end I feel stupid for feeling this way, as if I am overreacting.

    Stop whining, you attention____, they are called a mans best friend for a reason, DUH..................

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