***UPDATE***My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

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  • cassieinor
    cassieinor Posts: 584
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    Ditto what everyone else has said here!!! You're guy sounds real insecure. You won't have any problem finding a new guy. Get a backbone, dump this guy!
  • Harshberger24
    Harshberger24 Posts: 155
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    I say toss him.. he should want you for you and if you want to lose weight he should be supportive..
  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 281 Member
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    "Absolutus Amor"...if it's lacking, what's the point!? Move on...

    :o]
  • jewelzz
    jewelzz Posts: 326 Member
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    Lol I don't think mine does either he's very supportive but he pays me a lot of attention if he sees another man checking out what's his....love it.that's what yours should be doing,get one that will.:bigsmile:
  • naidanueva
    naidanueva Posts: 26 Member
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    He doesn't sound like the kind of guy worth being with. I barely scanned the first page of replies you got and I caught a glimpse of my initial reaction, which is this: The dude has some insecurity issues!
    He probably doesn't want you looking too hot for fear of losing you or you looking better than him. I know several guys like this. It's sad but true.

    So, be smart and realize that you are probably better of without him. Consider dumping him before he dumps you. I know, it's probably easier said than done. :ohwell:
  • Beauty_From_Within
    Beauty_From_Within Posts: 7
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    Wow what a jerk, your are beautiful no matter how much you weight but good on you for losing the weight and sticking at it.
    All the other posts are correct, if he looks at that tyoe of figure than what is wrong with you looking like that... You can do much better of he is going to treat you like that...

    My man of 4 years has looked and touched chicks like that and i gained weight in preganacy and he hated it and threghtend to leave because i am not sexy and skinny enough.

    Your a woman and be happy with what you are doing and if he isnt happy with you than you leave him and keep on losing that weight. Your happyness is number 1 with your body than you an be happy with others,...

    Best of luck.
  • megteg
    megteg Posts: 97 Member
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    I've only read a few of the responses, but here's my take. Yes, it sounds like he has a TON of insecurities, but the scary thing is he seems like he wants to control you. That's the red flag! Anyone who truly cares for you won't threaten you with breaking up. It's a really mean thing to do. Nobody should play with your heart and your mind to get you to do what they want. ESPECIALLY if it's something that would make you happier and more confident!!
  • laurnol
    laurnol Posts: 23
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    Do what is best for you, the heck with him, you can do better.
  • Gallen88
    Gallen88 Posts: 171 Member
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    He sounds a little Bass Ackwards to me...

    Lol! I agree with what everybody else said..bottom line, if he doesn't want you to be the best YOU can be, u dont need him anyway
  • Sunny_Skies
    Sunny_Skies Posts: 33
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    Everyone here is right! Your boyfriend just has insecurity issues or he wants to be "superior" to you somehow. Tell him that if he really loved you, he would support your decision to better yourself. Talk to him, and if your health means nothing to him, then move on and find someone who really loves you for the right reasons. You will feel much better about yourself afterwards.
  • egam
    egam Posts: 127
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    on a more positive note, maybe he is under the misconception that you are doing it for him. Try letting him know that you are doing it for yourself and not because you feel like he doesn't like you or the way you look.

    Although I agree with the above posts as well, it sounds like he is dealing with some insecurities of his own.
  • kee9kee9
    kee9kee9 Posts: 23
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    You have to do what makes you feel good. If that's losing weight and getting healthier, then go for it. He might stay or he might go, but either way you can hold your head up high and say you love yourself. You can't let him define who you are or what you do because if you do, in the end you will only be left with regrets. I'm speaking from past experiences.
  • sarakaufman
    sarakaufman Posts: 58 Member
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    He doesn't want u to lose weight because he is insecure with himself and probably feels you will leave him when you lose the weight
    I agree with you. My ex was the same way I lost a bunch of weight after our child was born and he would bring jusnk food in the house and then try to get me to eat it and put me down if I didn't eat it.
  • hill2302
    hill2302 Posts: 139 Member
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    He's ridiculous. Do what's best for you and will make YOU feel better about yourself. Don't ever define yourself or your self worth based what your boyfriend says or thinks. That's a road that will be ahrd to get off of once you're on it. You are beautiful the way you are and if you are happy with yourself, then it will be evident to others. If he doesn't want a happy you, then he doesn't deserve you.

    You live around the corner from me. Feel free to friend me if you want some local support.
  • ediegram
    ediegram Posts: 40
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    I agree.. insecurity issues. My hubby is the same way. Not that he will leave me, but he encourages me to NOT diet or exercise. I do it for my health and for me.
  • newme11292010
    newme11292010 Posts: 6
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    You are doing the right thing in taking care of yourself. Your long-term health is much more important. Many people, even sometimes "moms", think they are "helping" by telling you that you look good, or that you don't need to lose any weight (then they act offended if you don't eat their special "cake" they made for you) they are called a "saboteur" (someone who resists movement or change). They can't help themselves, but somehow, by not encouraging you, it keeps the focus on them?!! It is odd, but true.
    Do this for you - Keep after it!! If the saboteurs can't support you, then you have to avoid them until you are strong enough to confront them without needing to run to food due to the added stress!!

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