What is "flirting"?

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  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    Some people may take it differently than others. However in our group I think we already get the point! LOL!!:wink:
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I just like it when I get the giggles...the boys at work flirt over the phone with me, but that's because I'm such an idiot about it that they think it's funny...my fiance does the same thing to his secretary. I don't think it's sexual harassment or crossing the line, I think it's damn funny and I'm flattered that they would WANT to flirt with me...they also know that I don't know how to flirt back so it's all in good fun.
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
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    But how do you discern someone else's motives?
    That's the thing. I can't help worrying about what other people think or how they interpret how I come across.
    I think that it really a matter of personal boundaries in that the person being flirted or bantered with has to decide what is right and wrong for them. It is up to them and their significant other, if they have one, to decide what those boundaries are and live by them. You can't know what their boundaries are, so it isn't your issue to worry about. What they have the right to do is to ask If they decide that you (for example) are bantering a little too much for them, it is up to them to tell you to back off a bit.

    And too I think that if a persons significant other emails you and asks you to stop what they view as flirting with their SO, in my mind, it is the right thing to do to respect that and stop. It doesn't matter that they may or may not have issues in their marriage, or that you personally believe that you aren't flirting, just simply talking to someone. Why make things harder in a potentially already struggling relationship. I know I may be alone on that front...but thats just MY opinion.
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
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    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?

    dunno but your hair looks nice today and you're looking more chiseled. have you been working out?

    PRICELESS!! :laugh:
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    Usually when I am making a comment to somebody, I won't say it if I think it would bother me if I saw my (hypothetical) boyfriend or husband typing it to someone, even if it was in the open where everyone else could see. I have become more conservative about that kind of stuff because I was accused of trying to steal someone's husband several months ago (not on this site). It was hurtful to be seen as that kind of person, so now I have tighter boundaries in place (with a dash of paranoia) to prevent it from happening again.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    Females say I'm a natural flirt even if I'm just casually talking to 'em. It's not my fault I have that much game to influence their perspective on the conversation. I just do me. Though, I am pretty intriguing to say the least.
  • Jonesie1984
    Jonesie1984 Posts: 612 Member
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    flirting is that playful messing around with a bit of truth. I honestly think most people don't flirt with people they're not attracted to in some way so there's a bit of truth behind the comments or looks of adoration even if they are unavailable. I personally can't flirt with someone i'm truly attracted too. I get to frazzled! But i'm regularly a very affectionate/playful individulal.. Now i'm confused. Thanks Binary.
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
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    it is only flirting if the person is within drivable range, otherwise it just goofy chatting and trying to be funny :tongue:
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    it is only flirting if the person is within drivable range, otherwise it just goofy chatting and trying to be funny :tongue:

    For such a Star Wars fan, you sure have a traditional sense of what flirting is lol :).
  • ginnyroxx
    ginnyroxx Posts: 763
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    it is only flirting if the person is within drivable range, otherwise it just goofy chatting and trying to be funny :tongue:
    disagree.
    Rj and I met online. Friends first then well...here we are now. Sadly, we are not in driving distance.
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
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    I think there's more than one kind of flirting - there's the aforementioned friendly banter, just being playful, with absolutely no intent of trying to take it beyond just that (the kind that you wouldn't have any shame in doing in front of your partner, if you're attached).

    Then there's flrting with the hope of it becoming more than that; I wouldn't call it 'ulterior motives,' because if both parties are single and open to it, there's nothing wrong with it.

    I'm a generally lightly filrtatious person - to a point, and with people/friends I know and am comfortable with (as in, I know they won't take it the wrong way). My rule has always been if it's not something you'd do/say in front of your partner, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. :)
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
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    But how do you discern someone else's motives?
    That's the thing. I can't help worrying about what other people think or how they interpret how I come across.

    But why? If you know your heart is in the right place (as in, you're just having fun, and not trying to take it beyond the surface), don't sweat it.
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
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    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?

    dunno but your hair looks nice today and you're looking more chiseled. have you been working out?

    LOL!!!
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
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    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
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    it really depends on your region and your cultural background. I have a friend from Haiti who is very tactile. He gives great hugs, touches my arm when he talks to me and his personal space is very close. I happen to have quite a few international friends, so I am accustomed to this. However, people often confuse his habits for flirting when in fact, that is how he was raised. At no moment have I ever felt like it was sexual.

    Excellent point; we have a friend of Japanese descent (he's born and raised here in the US) who is a lip kisser - as in, when he greets close female friends, he gives them a big hug and a quick peck on the lips. It's just how he is, and there's absolutely no ill intent in it (he's happily married, as are most of of close female friends). So with him, it never even raises an eyebrow, yet if any of my other male friends did that, I'd be taken aback. I think for him it's just how he was raised.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
    Check my feed about phone wallpapers...I have tons of star wars stuff
  • ginnyroxx
    ginnyroxx Posts: 763
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    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
    it's the Valentine Rj gave me

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • KWSR16
    KWSR16 Posts: 91
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    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?

    dunno but your hair looks nice today and you're looking more chiseled. have you been working out?

    I called dibs on him up thread.:angry:

    Oh my gosh that was hilarious! That is something that me, my fiance and our group of friends would say to each other. Completely in good fun and with no actual intentions of doing anything. I especially love the "Have you been working out?" Awesome, just awesome.
  • BullDozier
    BullDozier Posts: 237 Member
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    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?
    Being married to an incurable flirt, I would definitely say flirting can happen with no ulterior motives, though there is definitely a kind of flirting with intent. I'd still call them both flirting.

    Innocent flirting I think has to do with the attention and affirmation you get from getting a certain kind of attention from the opposite sex. It is a friendly banter (I would say playful banter) with a hint of suggestiveness. Sometimes there are innuendos and double entedres that push the envelope slightly, but that's what makes it interesting.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    I think it is harmless flattery, but I guess it all depends on a person's intentions.

    It becomes something different when it is unwelcome. Personally, I don't want to offend someone, so if my flirtations are unwanted, I would like to know.

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