What is "flirting"?

24

Replies

  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
    I think there's more than one kind of flirting - there's the aforementioned friendly banter, just being playful, with absolutely no intent of trying to take it beyond just that (the kind that you wouldn't have any shame in doing in front of your partner, if you're attached).

    Then there's flrting with the hope of it becoming more than that; I wouldn't call it 'ulterior motives,' because if both parties are single and open to it, there's nothing wrong with it.

    I'm a generally lightly filrtatious person - to a point, and with people/friends I know and am comfortable with (as in, I know they won't take it the wrong way). My rule has always been if it's not something you'd do/say in front of your partner, then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. :)
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
    But how do you discern someone else's motives?
    That's the thing. I can't help worrying about what other people think or how they interpret how I come across.

    But why? If you know your heart is in the right place (as in, you're just having fun, and not trying to take it beyond the surface), don't sweat it.
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?

    dunno but your hair looks nice today and you're looking more chiseled. have you been working out?

    LOL!!!
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,638 Member
    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
  • neebelung
    neebelung Posts: 115
    it really depends on your region and your cultural background. I have a friend from Haiti who is very tactile. He gives great hugs, touches my arm when he talks to me and his personal space is very close. I happen to have quite a few international friends, so I am accustomed to this. However, people often confuse his habits for flirting when in fact, that is how he was raised. At no moment have I ever felt like it was sexual.

    Excellent point; we have a friend of Japanese descent (he's born and raised here in the US) who is a lip kisser - as in, when he greets close female friends, he gives them a big hug and a quick peck on the lips. It's just how he is, and there's absolutely no ill intent in it (he's happily married, as are most of of close female friends). So with him, it never even raises an eyebrow, yet if any of my other male friends did that, I'd be taken aback. I think for him it's just how he was raised.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
    Check my feed about phone wallpapers...I have tons of star wars stuff
  • ginnyroxx
    ginnyroxx Posts: 763
    <3 ginnyroxx ticker pic :laugh: :laugh:
    it's the Valentine Rj gave me

    :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • KWSR16
    KWSR16 Posts: 91
    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?

    dunno but your hair looks nice today and you're looking more chiseled. have you been working out?

    I called dibs on him up thread.:angry:

    Oh my gosh that was hilarious! That is something that me, my fiance and our group of friends would say to each other. Completely in good fun and with no actual intentions of doing anything. I especially love the "Have you been working out?" Awesome, just awesome.
  • BullDozier
    BullDozier Posts: 237 Member
    The MFP crush thread got me thinking. What is flirting? In my opinion, flirting is done when you have ulterior motives, otherwise it is friendly banter. Others do not.

    So what say you?
    Being married to an incurable flirt, I would definitely say flirting can happen with no ulterior motives, though there is definitely a kind of flirting with intent. I'd still call them both flirting.

    Innocent flirting I think has to do with the attention and affirmation you get from getting a certain kind of attention from the opposite sex. It is a friendly banter (I would say playful banter) with a hint of suggestiveness. Sometimes there are innuendos and double entedres that push the envelope slightly, but that's what makes it interesting.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    I think it is harmless flattery, but I guess it all depends on a person's intentions.

    It becomes something different when it is unwelcome. Personally, I don't want to offend someone, so if my flirtations are unwanted, I would like to know.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    I live by double entendre and innuendo.
  • Ananke65
    Ananke65 Posts: 15
    I think, for some, flirting is an escape from real life trials and tribulations. It's harmless and fun, and it's good for the ego.

    If it becomes creepy then that's not good.
  • bahrainbel
    bahrainbel Posts: 194
    i have banter with people i like, i flirt with men i am sexually attracted to.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    it is only flirting if the person is within drivable range, otherwise it just goofy chatting and trying to be funny :tongue:

    I have to agree...doesn't do much for my ego..IU don't mean to sound crude, but what someone I don't know from another state may think of whatever doesn't impress me....I prefer friendly chatting..but I wouldn't call it flirting..and mostly with women on here about weight etc
    In person I am a horrible flirt so on line I am possibly even worse at it...
  • Ananke65
    Ananke65 Posts: 15
    Wouldn't know if someone was flirting or crushing me if they hit me over the head. :ohwell:
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
    Haha...I'm not really sure when people are flirting either. I don't mind a little harmless flirting.. It's always great when you get a little attention especially for us married folks like me...I think. I like it at least! :tongue:
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Haha...I'm not really sure when people are flirting either. I don't mind a little harmless flirting.. It's always great when you get a little attention especially for us married folks like me...I think. I like it at least! :tongue:
    I turn around to see if they are typing to the person behind me.
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    I am the bomb for starting the MFP crush thread...
  • TakeOne
    TakeOne Posts: 345 Member
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:

    One of my pet peeves is that sometimes "support" here is defined as a rah rah thing and that has a place but also nice to have folks actually talk about things too.
    Sure,maybe it is a little risqué here and there but have found several new friends in the last few days and everyone (I think) has a better feel for how we all are in life.

    Probably sounds silly or "too deep" and not really saying it right I guess.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:

    One of my pet peeves is that sometimes "support" here is defined as a rah rah thing and that has a place but also nice to have folks actually talk about things too.
    Sure,maybe it is a little risqué here and there but have found several new friends in the last few days and everyone (I think) has a better feel for how we all are in life.

    Probably sounds silly or "too deep" and not really saying it right I guess.

    No Carl..I've only been here for a short while and I agree with you.
    This IS the fun and games section. We can sweat it in the upper forums with nutrition and exercise issues.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:

    Ill tell you what has gotten into everyone. Spring is just around the corner and everyone is getting Twitterpated! LOL:love:
  • bzmom
    bzmom Posts: 1,332 Member
    "twitterpated" <---- bwahahahah never heard that word being used before. Im going to have to add it to my vocab. LOL!!!
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:

    Ill tell you what has gotten into everyone. Spring is just around the corner and everyone is getting Twitterpated! LOL:love:
  • Wendi_S
    Wendi_S Posts: 489 Member
    **walking away from this subject** FAR AWAY! :wink: :laugh:
  • Wendi_S
    Wendi_S Posts: 489 Member
    LOL what has gotten into everyone at MFP?! I am seeing a lot of topics on flirting and what you find attractive, etc, etc. Hahaha..too funny. :smooched: :laugh:

    One of my pet peeves is that sometimes "support" here is defined as a rah rah thing and that has a place but also nice to have folks actually talk about things too.
    Sure,maybe it is a little risqué here and there but have found several new friends in the last few days and everyone (I think) has a better feel for how we all are in life.

    Probably sounds silly or "too deep" and not really saying it right I guess.

    No Carl..I've only been here for a short while and I agree with you.
    This IS the fun and games section. We can sweat it in the upper forums with nutrition and exercise issues.

    Perfectly said!!
  • Ananke65
    Ananke65 Posts: 15
    it is only flirting if the person is within drivable range, otherwise it just goofy chatting and trying to be funny :tongue:

    So, anywhere within the continental US and Canada is driveable......
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    I guess I like the way you look at it. I'm FLIRTY (affectionate, playful, joking) with friends, even my friends' husbands. Knowing it won't go anywhere and I don't want it to.

    I think when I'm flirting to someone I'm attracted to, it is definitely in hopes it will go somewhere.

    I think this is a good way of putting it... I can be hugely flirty... whether I want something more or not. I think it's all about having fun and being playful. There are of course some firms of flirtation that take things further than they should, and I am probably an offender of that, but I say go with the flow.

    On MFP, I think most people are involved and as long as it is harmless (meaning there will likely never be a personal meeting), then what's the harm? I know there is a such thing as emotional cheating, and I suppose that's something else that has to be evaluated, but if flirting gets you hot n bothered enough to ravage your S.O., then why not??
  • FORKDOWN
    FORKDOWN Posts: 1,754
    **walking away from this subject** FAR AWAY! :wink: :laugh:

    Chicken

    (ohh that made me hungry)
  • elfie9863
    elfie9863 Posts: 337
    I agree RJ. Especially in our group of friends things get awfully "playful" and downright raunchy sometimes lol. I've never considered it flirting in the slightest!

    Off the subject...but those horses are too cool!....I have a fat old quarterhorse, hoping to get a new horse this summer. Love those Paints!
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
    **walking away from this subject** FAR AWAY! :wink: :laugh:

    :bigsmile: :laugh::laugh:
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