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  • monkeybu
    monkeybu Posts: 34
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    Ouch! The comments some people have had directed at them are really painful! I can't believe that loved ones would say such things, I've never had hurtful comments from my husband, or my family - not even my younger brothers who are both fit and never had an overweight day in their lives. My mum has had little struggles with her weight over the years, but nothing compared to mine and I know she has worried about my weight, especially lately - any comments she has made to me over the years have been positive and encouraging though, although I may have taken some to heart if I was feeling sensitive.

    I have had plenty of ridicule from strangers though - almost exclusively from men aged 16-25yrs driving in cars. I cop some "Walk faster fatty" and "Here's a big fat one for you (insert *kitten*'s name here)" and some general yahooing when I'm out walking. I have a T-shirt that I call my yahoo shirt - it may be a little low-cut (I have generous cleavage) and I always attract more shouts and abuse when I wear it, I guess they can't resist all that wobbly flesh! I once had a guy try to pick me up in a bar when I was out for a work function. I told him I was married and not interested and he said "You're too fat anyway" and walked away! I don't know why he was bothering with the come-on if he thought I was fat - maybe he thought I'd be grateful and he'd get laid??? Too bad for him that I've never had time for wankers.
  • darling_nickie
    darling_nickie Posts: 117 Member
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    Well lets see I remember when I was in fourth grade and I was playing basketball on the team at school...after practice one day my dad took me for an icecream and commented on my legs being "chubby". I don't think it was meant to be hurtful but it did just the same. The worst as far as loved ones go would have had to be my mom...I don't think she realized it but she had a huge impact on my esteem. In highschool I went on a diet and lost 50 lbs...during this weight loss she saw me shrinking down and decided she wanted to join in. It would have been great to have the support except it turned more into a competition and I felt like she was stealing my fire! I would come home from school and she would say "I only ate 500 calories today...what did you eat?" I eventually starting living on lettuce with the exception of dinner time which was often a very scaled down portion or a lean cuisine...drank diet soda and water all the time and worked out at the gym...eventually I started to suffer headaches and fatigue and gave up--gaining it all back. The other thing that drove me bonkers was shopping with her...I'd find something a felt good in and she would ruin it by telling me to go a size up because that was "HER" size and I was bigger or "It will shrink when you wash it..." As far as strangers go...a girl at church said as I walked by "Dont slap that girl you might lose your hand in her" I no longer go to church :D
  • julie4760
    julie4760 Posts: 125
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    Please remember we can always lose weight but some folks are just so mean and they really need to get a life themselves if they can only make themselves feel good by insulting others and causing upset, they really do need to get personality transplants.
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    Mine would have to be from my husband while we were in the dating phase. He told me on more than on occasion "You know, you're not the most attractive girl I've been with." Words that still stick with me to this day.
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    Mine would have to be from my husband while we were in the dating phase. He told me on more than on occasion "You know, you're not the most attractive girl I've been with." Words that still stick with me to this day.

    Sorry I gotta say it
    AND YOU MARRIED HIM....holy crap I put up with alot but that would not be one of the comments I could just let slide. There would be a major slam back coming after hearing that comment....
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I was the target of a lot of bullying in my formative years. I remember at a slumber party, we played "Stiff as a board, light as a feather," but with me, the girls said, "Flat as a board, light as a feather." After they hoisted me up, they dropped me.

    I was ten years old, and maybe 60 pounds max. I didn't realize ten year olds were supposed to have racks! :laugh:

    But their teasing eventually helped me develop the wit and sarcasm that would later attract my husband to me, so... I can't complain!
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    I get the same crap in my house , simply because just a few years ago I had lost 140 pounds and I gained 40 pounds back after I lost my job. and he of course is a tennis pro and plays about 5-7hrs a day right now b/c he has playoffs and OMG he b*tches me out daily saying well your the one who sat on your *kitten*. and he is part right, I did sit around for a yr and gain the weight but ever sine I started working out he just gives me crap about it. like I think he is jealous b/c once I lose the weight again, other guys look at me, hit on me and he hates it alot.
    Like Ive asked him to go walk with me, I feel safer that way or to go with me to so both our dogs can get walked. but NOPE, he says Im not the one who is fat. u go workout , I play tennis and stay fit. so harsh!!!
    Then say I only do 30 mins of cardio a day, he tells me that is not enough do more. and I have a hard time doing sit ups and if I ask him to help hold my feet he laughs at me and it makes me cry right there on spot and he just walks out of the room. and says I dont think you can do it.

    Leave that guy. Love doesn't hurt. He's an *kitten*. Plain and simple. You deserve better. Let that *kitten* go.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    Mine would have to be from my husband while we were in the dating phase. He told me on more than on occasion "You know, you're not the most attractive girl I've been with." Words that still stick with me to this day.

    Sorry I gotta say it
    AND YOU MARRIED HIM....holy crap I put up with alot but that would not be one of the comments I could just let slide. There would be a major slam back coming after hearing that comment....

    Right? I know a lot of women who marry *kitten*. I don't get it. Usually, the women are awesome and pretty too and the guys is a toad...but a douche.
  • LisaZaugg1976
    LisaZaugg1976 Posts: 1,144 Member
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    so sad to hear these stories I never had anyone make jokes about my weight. My weight was under control till I got married then it went overboard few t imes. now I am at good weight for my height and everything but I would never make mean co mments about others. Karma is heck of thing.
  • mezzoforteish
    mezzoforteish Posts: 20
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    That is such a mean thing to say! :(

    And my little brother said I looked like a walrus working out. grrr
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    When I was pregnant this last time, I gained a lot of weight and unknowingly had pre-E.

    A woman at work (old and fat and ugly) grabbed my arm (I was 8.5 months pregnant) and said, "You are getting FAT!"

    Thankfully, I am older now and I no longer cry with this crap. I simply smiled my evil smile and said, "Well, I'm pregnant-- what's your excuse?" Then I walked away leaving her to gossip with the other fat cows.
  • DHalaby73
    DHalaby73 Posts: 980 Member
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    I've been working out for 15 yrs...When I got remarried I can admit I gained a little weight..Well one day I went to the gym and the girl at the front desk had the nerve to say to me has coming to the gym been working for me...I WAS LIKE NO SHE DIDN'T....Not the thing to say to a women..Not to mention the fact that you work in a gym your not supposed to say things like that....It bothered me A LOT..needless to say I said to myself no way I have to get back on track and I lost the weight I put on..And she doesn't work there anymore...Not because of me but I'm sure for other reasons...
  • LeggedEgg
    LeggedEgg Posts: 2
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    Wow, I thought it was just MY dad & no one else really had to deal with this from parents (at the least the mean, non-helpful digs).
    My dad has told me, "You could be so pretty if you weren't so fat"...."You better lose weight, you're getting mighty chubby" (that was in high school when i weighed 126 lbs. @ 5'4")... "You better lose weight, no man wants to sleep with a woman who reminds him of his grandmother", and last time I saw him he poked me in the stomach & said, "Better go on a diet".
    No kidding, really? Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Dad. Naturally he is super skinny, my brother is super skinny , and no one has my back except my hubby & daughter.
    My ex- step mother told me at age 18 she could hook me up with a guy from prision, 'cause they like 'girls built like you'. (I weighed 155 at this point)!
    I was asked once if I was pregnant, I replied, "Nope, just fat!". At least that way they have no idea how humiliated you are & THEY sort of feel like a creep. When I was pregnant, two biotchy little teeny-boppers stood behind me in line at the grocery store & commented how they hated how fat people smell! I was too embarrassed & sick to say anything back.

    The worst was when my hubby was in the hospital. He just happened to be in the room with a woman he used to work with. she'd met me years before, came to our baby shower. Well, when I'd left she asked "was I the same wife"?! then my hubby had to explain away my weight gain (true, i AM fat. I was about 232 at the time).
    i'm just glad I didn't hear that one to my face. I think it would have truly crushed me. I wasn't even recognizable?! :9

    Then there's all the "fun" stuff like people commenting on what you buy at the store or order to eat, as if it's their business. Just 'cause THEY don't approve. Or, how about how guys drop the door on you? Or let you push your own car out of the intersection when it's raining & it breaks down? That's always fun too.
    Gosh, this thread really brough up some real HURT. But, you know what? Someday those same people will likely attempt to treat you differently when you lose the weight. I say screw them. They can shove it. I am still the SAME me inside. And you still hurt me!


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  • Kirstie_C26
    Kirstie_C26 Posts: 490 Member
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    can i just say ur OH isnt very nice to say that to u :(. my worst was a continual insult...i was always told by my now ex that i was stupid/silly/an idiot if i expressed an opinion on anything other than wot he was interested in...thank god im free of him now :)
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
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    unacceptable. i would get rid of him. you dont deserve that.


    butr to answer your question -upon being at a restaurant with an ex, our sickly thin skanky waitress he thought was hot- "see she has a perfect body. thats what i like' we ended things shortly after.
  • bzr21
    bzr21 Posts: 13
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    My family did not have much money growing up so a major rule in our house was to clean your plate at every meal. Sometimes money was tighter than usual so dinner was very small. I can remember still being hungry a couple of times and asking or more. My parents did not try to explain that there simply was not more to give. Instead, they would say "push away from the table fatty" and my siblings would then join in.

    The thing is, I was never extremely over weight. probably about 10 lbs as a kid and 25 as an adult, but the words still ring in my head on a daily basis.

    As an adult, when I would go visit my brother he would tell his friends that his "fat sister" is coming to town.

    These two have stuck with me still to this day
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
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    When I was a child celabrating my birthday. My Uncle asked what I was weighing in at and did I really want that piece of cake? Pretty much ruined birthdays for me.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    can i just say ur OH isnt very nice to say that to u :(. my worst was a continual insult...i was always told by my now ex that i was stupid/silly/an idiot if i expressed an opinion on anything other than wot he was interested in...thank god im free of him now :)

    I had one of those. lol He's an ex too, thank GOD. He would say those things and laugh at my opinions.

    I have a child with him (a surprise), but oh well...we barely talk now. :smile:
  • cathytolose
    cathytolose Posts: 4
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    That wasn't very nice. I hope he isn't like that all the time. He is supposed to be on your side.
  • cathytolose
    cathytolose Posts: 4
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    Wow. I am sorry you had to deal with such insensitivity . sometimes people don't realize how hurtful they can be. wow, it makes me sad ro think that stuff has stayed with you.

    I will never forget when I was pregnant with my third child, already had two sons, and I told my father I was hoping for a girl and he turned to me and said, " Why would anyone want a girl?" I said, you do realize that you are talking to your daughter and he just laughed and said, you know what I mean. I will never forget that.

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