Insults
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Just the other day my mom poked me in the belly and said you need to lose this! Hearing things like that will never make anyone feel better.
My ex husband told me that if I cared what I looked like then I wouldn't be fat. And he told me once that he didn't want to have sex with me because I was fat.
Some people can be so rude and hateful!0 -
I used to get called "prego" by my older sister when I was younger..............but the worst insults came from complete strangers when I would be out and about...................after all these years I still remember them vividly and they have scarred me for the rest of my life..........I truely believe that's why my self esteem is so low...............my husband is wonderful though......never a negative comment comes out of his mouth and he always tells me I'm beautiful............which I never believe but mentally I am just scarred........
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The guy I am dating now tells me every morning "Good morning beautiful" and it makes me feel so good. I also have very low self esteem. Badly! And it affects every thing I do.0
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OMG, are his balls in his throat? Cos I would have hit him so hard they would have ended up there.
A lady once asked when I was due which really hurt. My son was a toddler but i hadnt got rid of the weight.
Be proud of yourself, you're losing weight and exercising and doing this for yourself. The Biggest Loser is brilliant though for inspiring you.
We can do it :flowerforyou:0 -
While boarding with friends in a chalet, i did a spinning dance move. My friend called it a "fat pirouette" and everyone in the room pretended my belly had smacked the sides of their faces! *kitten*!0
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Oh, I know what you all mean. I'm in outside sales, and have customers I've known for 20 years. There is one in particular that always remarks on my weight. He doesn't hurt my feelings because he is nothing to me. But I often think to myself that I would NEVER go out of my way to hurt someone like that. When a friend or relative comments in a negative way about themselves, I'm te first one to say that they are beautiful the way they are.
my parents were not as nice to me though. My mom always commented to me about my weight. My dad always commented about how attractive my friends were. Never me though. To this day, he has never told me I'm beautiful, or even pretty. I have a terrible self image and I believe that this is partly why. But now as I've gotten older, I assume responsibility for any gain or loss. It's MY body. Who is anybody else to even have an opinion?? Ugh.0 -
my parents were not as nice to me though. My mom always commented to me about my weight. My dad always commented about how attractive my friends were. Never me though. To this day, he has never told me I'm beautiful, or even pretty. I have a terrible self image and I believe that this is partly why. But now as I've gotten older, I assume responsibility for any gain or loss. It's MY body. Who is anybody else to even have an opinion?? Ugh.
Your dad was blind, your beautiful.0 -
Hi Everyone,
Just wondering what the worst insult that you have been given was?
For me the ones that are the most difficult are the ones that are just below the belt.
My inspiration was today, I was watching the Biggest Loser UK and my other half said 'I can't believe the crap you make me watch, if I wanted to watch fat people work out, I would just follow you when you go to Zumba class.'
Nice.
WOW! He would be making his own dinner -- sleeping on the couch and I would not be speaking to him for a while after that one!0 -
ugh, that was so mean!!!0
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That's plain old nasty. Sounds like you might want to lose more than just pounds... DO NOT put up with that.0
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The worst insult I ever had came from my mother this summer. She is morbidly obese, about 375 pounds and delights in pointing out how we are just alike (and how I going to be her in a couple of years).
Ok as if that is not annoying enough .. when I started running, I vividly remember telling her about it and her comments were
"I do not support that" "Itll never last" "I dont think its a good idea your too fat to run" and my personal favorite "You know your just like me, we arent built for running or to be thin, its just not possible"
Haha and to that I delight now in telling her casually about my 10 mile long runs ... just finished my first half and planning at last 3 more this year! Ha!
(My husband for the most part is good, but when I bought a pair of running shoes when I started running he said "what a waste of money for something you wont stick with more than 4 weeks... haha he was wrong too)0 -
That was mean of your OH, but very much a 'man' comment, they just don't think.
Most hurtful thing i ever had said was when I told my Mum that I was getting married, she didn't even say congratulations she just carried on doing what she was doing and said " Well you'll have to lose a lot of weight if you want me to buy the wedding dress!"
Neeless to say I wanted no help with financing the Wedding.and as it happened she was not even there in the end..but thats another story.0 -
A child gave me the comment I'll never forget. I am a teacher. She was my darling 4th grader (approximately 9 years old) with her wide innocent eyes she looked up at me while she hugged my fat stomach and asked me "does it keep you warm while you sleep like a polar bear?" I was horrified. She didnt mean to hurt me, but that's the one that spurred me to action. So now I'm glad that it happened.0
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I can see how that comes out super offensive...but I don't think he was referring to you. He was an idiot and didn't explain I bet. It sounds like he meant if he follows you to zumba class he will see all the fat chicks, ie. not you.
I know it is still as ignorant, but if it makes you feel better, I honestly don't think it was about you!0 -
Mine was at my little sisters christening...a friend of the family (who is even bigger than I am, as is her son!) turned around and said "You are so naughty, you've put on tons of weight!" cheeky cow.
The other one was at my great nans funeral 2 years ago. My great uncle turned around and said that I had put a lot of weight on....at my nan funeral! Talk about insensitive. To make it slightly funny though, the guy is about 22st and has diabetes and scrounged off his mother. Least I pay my own way and am not that big and never will be0 -
@Thyme4achange--- My MOTHER says this to me all the time!
"Why are you even bothering to lose to weight again, you know you will gain it all back anyway."0 -
I think it's horrible how a parent can be so mean! They are suppose to be supportive and cheer you on! My dad never told me I was fat, I am of course, but he would tell me that I should lose some weight for my own good as he was only concerned for my health. I never took it as an insult as he was spot on anyway. My oldest son is 18, he is 6'3, 350 pounds. I myself have gently expressed to him that I thought it would be great for him to lose about 70 pounds for health reasons, he has thickening of the heart and high Blood pressure, he also is suppose to be taking several pills on a daily basis but he tends to not care enough to do so. Never, have I told him that he was fat, he is my oldest baby boy and I love him no matter what he looks like but only out of concern did I mention him to him to try and lose some weight! I have been overweight all my life, once in awhile I was thin...LOL and those comments when someone calls you fat or otherwise, really sting for a very long time, I have heard many in my lifetime! Rude jerks!0
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It was my birthday, just a few months ago. My 2 girlfriends and I stayed in a lovely little town (Banff). We were standing in line outside to get into a night club. This guy in front of us was wearing a shirt that said, "I hate Skinny Chicks". My one friend is "skinny" and the other is not. My "skinny" friend ask the guy, what's with the shirt. He said, "Sorry, honey your not my type, I like a little meat on my lady." Then he implied that I was chunky. It was a real slap in the face. That is when I realized I let my weight get out of hand. I don't like to be perceived as "chunky". Obviously I am.0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I am appalled at the way some parents treat their kids! I guess what you guys could do in that case is tell them how what they have said makes you feel because some people really don't know that they are hurting you. I'm so sorry about you guys that had insults from your parents as young kids. I know it's hard, but sometimes we have to let go of the past in order to make it through the present and have a productive future. God loves us all and that's really all that matters, which will in turn cause you to love yourself! On a different note, don't even worry about insults from strangers because first of all, they're morons. Second, people who take time out of their so called lives to hurt someone they don't even know couldn't possibly be too crazy about themselves either. We won't even waste our time on a bunch of nobodies! I was teased all the way through school for being short, skinny, having acne, being a nerd, a virgin, and anything else my 'peers' could come up with to mess up my day before it even got started. I used to keep it all to myself which led me into a deep depression for years although I never let anyone know about it. I finally got tired of just ' laughing it off' and from then on, every time someone shouted out a comment, I would smile nicely, laugh, and insult them right back, because I figured that if a person is happy with themselves, they won't have time to spend their day making someone else feel bad. I began to point out THEIR flaws and shortcomings(along with getting cussing down to an art) and whatd'ya know? I started getting some respect! I ended up going from the underweight midget frigid nerd to one of the most popular seniors in school, but by then I wanted no friends and couldn't wait to get away from them all. Now when I see some of those same people now, they are ashamed to talk to me because their lives are screwed up and a couple have actually tried to avoid speaking to me. Payback is a 'B' ain't it? Now for the husbands/boyfriends. Sometimes I think that when God took one of Adam's ribs to make Eve, he must have taken some brains also.(lol) Some guys mean to say one thing, but something else usually comes out. A lot of times if you just talk to them about something they've said you'll find that they really didn't mean it the way it came out.
On the other hand, there are some men that really are not supportive and throw insults on purpose. I'm not saying to become a meanie, but we have to defend ourselves and realize that God loves us even if nobody else does and that's all that matters. He is the one who makes us complete which in turn will cause us to love ourselves enough to not let anyone put us down. Some of the posts that I have read makes me want to write a booklet on insult comebacks especially for the men who don't want to have sex because their woman is 'fat'. I'll let you all know when it's done. I'm sure it will give us all a good laugh between workouts, cause I got a million of'em! Let's all keep out heads held high and do this!0 -
It's strange because, the ones like that one I posted earlier was a throw away comment. I just don't think people realise how hurtful they are.
Even this morning, it wasn't until I said that he'd hurt my feelings that he appologised but the damage is already done by that point.
I wouldn't mind the comments, if I made them back but I wouldn't dream of saying anything like that to anyone!
My other favourite, told to me by my grandfather was, 'two hundred years ago, your physique was considered the ideal female form.'
You can't help but laugh uncomfortably at these comments.
I wonder if it something women experience more often than men?
I think it's cultural who makes fat jokes for fun and who doesn't. Some people consider it normal and not an actual insult, just humor. And some see it as a disgusting slam! I'm glad your other half apologized when you told him your feelings were hurt. He probably didn't understand how hurtful his comment was.
Also, to be fair, I think people who haven't seen Biggest Loser before really misunderstand what the show is about. I know before I watched it, I thought it must really exploit overweight people and their desire to lose weight on camera. I didn't get what the show was really about--helping people find healing as they accomplish their goals. I also had no idea it was a fun game show, or that it would inspire me to work hard. And even then, that show isn't for everybody.0 -
Gosh, you all have my sympathies. No-one deserves to be spoken to like you guys have.
When I was little, I always remember my dad calling me Fairy hefalump (like elephant in some kids story but I forget which). My mum would always comment on my waist and whenever we went to buy clothes shed gasp and shake her head. She put me on my first diet at 7 years old. Considering I was a child and she was the one that was feeding me she had total control of my weight.
My older sister was always a rake as a child, one of those people who could eat anything and be skinny. My mum made it very clear that I would never be as good as her.
When I first moved out with my boyfriend I planned to cycle to work, when I told his mum she turned round TO HIM and said "can she do that?". Meaning was I fit enough.
Some of the many comments I've had but it always hurts the most from those closest to you. Any wonder I ended up with disorderd eating.0 -
well thats very sad your husband said that i love the biggest loser keep in touch i am new today not sure all the ropes on here:happy:0
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It's so awful to read all of this! I remember being in Kindergarten and I was told by some boy that I was the fattest kid in the class... I was 5!!! It has stuck with me all these years...0
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Wow I have a few haha..
When I was sat having lunch with my daughter in mcdonalds one day, a group of lads were all pointing at me and laughing..
In school I was often called 'fatness' my brother would just shout at me 'go lose weight' my dad would also hold up my clothes and say 'wow do these realy fit you?' which ment that I looked too big to fit into my clothes.. He's also mention alot how I was a big girl.
I was wearing a pair of leggings a couple years ago (a week after I had my daughter cos it was the only thing that fit) and my uncle kept saying 'big girls dont suit leggings' and was pointing out the rolls of fat that were showing which nobody noticed.
Theres alot of drive by insults here in the UK.. One time a van drove past and one of the lads shouted 'hey fatty!' and threw a milk shake over my head.
People can be so cruel haha
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Mine was when a co worker ask if I was pregnant did not know what to say so just said no i am just fat and walked away0
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omg! My husband would have been punched if he said that to me!! Mine would have to be people asking me when my baby is due...NOT PREGNANT DUMBA$$ES! JUST FAT! lol0
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My other favourite, told to me by my grandfather was, 'two hundred years ago, your physique was considered the ideal female form.'
You can't help but laugh uncomfortably at these comments.
I wonder if it something women experience more often than men?
I actually agree with this, if you go to any museum, all the greek sculpures and pantings of beauty aren't fat, nor are they sticks but have nice bodies, especially the goddesses such as venus or Diana. (OK this is before 200 years ago but still). They are my idea of beauty to be honest, looking at them critically, i would guess the bmi of most ancient statues to be 23/24. they werent fat, but certainly not boobless-bones-jutting-out-stick-insect skinny we see today,
worst comment, i was walking home from a dance with a few friends and a drunk guy went 'look at the size of her *kitten*', first week of uni. ithing is it didnt spur me to loose weight, at that point i had already started losing weight, it just ruined my night and made me cry when i got back to my room. thankfully i was with old friends and not new ones, i think if it had ben with people i had just net, i would have avoided them out of embarassment.0 -
well.....whatever you do don't hang onto the comment or the resulting hurt feelings. It hurts my heart to read about all those who are hanging on to the pain for dear life - not the ones who are recalling an incident, I can recall an incident, but to hang on to somehting negative with such passion. Worse yet, to use it as an excuse to remain 'stuck'. Don't let yourself do that. The reality is (not many like reality) but here goes, the reality is that the most wonderful thing that can happen to you is that you are so healthy, so fit, that when you here an unkind weight related remark, you would never dream of taking it personally. 0
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I am horrified at how many of you are in relationships with men who would say such thoughtless and hurtful things to anyone let alone someone they 'love' I do not agree it's a 'man thing' that is the biggest pile of c**p ever!! What would you accept people behaving badly just because they have something dangling between their legs? Jeez my Husband can be a stubborn *kitten* sometimes, but he would NEVER insult me, and making the excuse that 'it's a man thing' makes my blood boil. I did not bring my son up to be excused from his manners, heart and care for others because he is a boy, if any man spoke to me like that he would be gone! How can you maintain a relationship with someone who shows you less respect than you would expect from a stranger?
As to those of you whose parents have said insulting things to you as children, that is vile. It is also terrible as THEY are the ones responsible for your diet, fitness and health. My children are wonderful, I will tell them if I think they are making mistakes and I hope to support them, insulting is insulting. No matter who from.
I hope that you can all build enough to esteem to never allow ANYONE to talk to you this way!0 -
Ouch. I would've kicked my boyfriend & told him to jog along. Men often don't understand that you cannot talk to women the same way you do with guys. They don't realize that every stupid thing they do stays in our head & calling your girlfriend fat is usually the least positive thing you can do. Whenever I used to feel really fat I would eat...I actually like my body now, for the most part I gained weight in "good" places...but I want to be able to do the things I want & shop where I want.
I don't think it's okay for anyone that you give the privilege of being close to you to slam you. Your inner circle should be full of support, otherwise it's too easy to fail. Tell him he needs to get his crap together or let him go. A lot of times negative men can be the cause of our weight gain. I have lost over 40lbs since my EX fiance and I broke up & I will never let a man sabotage me again.0
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