MFP's most common user pitfall to avoid

ToniAnn411

Thank you! Great Post!!

ajbeans

My "goal" is 120, but I'm looking at it as more of a lighthouse than a landing. I may not get that low, and I'd be ok with that. My ultimate goal is fitness and getting rid of the flab, not necessarily reaching a certain number on a scale. I have my weekly goal set to half a pound a week, and that's working pretty well for me.

My high school weight was 108, but I never thought I looked good because I was "skinny fat." I didnt' weigh much, but my muscles were all flabby so I didn't look nice. I would rather stay at my current weight of 143 and be muscular than to be that thin and be weak. Having a lower number on the scale doesn't always necessarily equate to looking better. And it certainly doesn't equate to feeling better.

hollyb9871

Reconsidering my 2 lb. a week status..maybe a little slower would be more forgiving and I'm not losing 2 lbs. a week anyway! Thanks for the info!

Holly

SHBoss1673

I dont want to shoot this off topic...however I am a bit confused about this topic of muscle mass vs fat mass. I would like to say first off that I have been lifting weights as I go arms, legs, & abs so that when I do lose the weight I am not flabby still...Should I be doing that? I have to admit I am starting to see the muscles and I havent since HS...I think its awesome :blushing: However...Since muscle takes up way less room I am finding it hard to wrap my head around the fact that I can weigh 155 and be all muscle, and not look like a dude. I hope I am stating that right. I have always thought myself to be one of those people with big muscles naturally, so I am worried seriously worried that my thighs will still be huge, just be all muscle make sense?

it's fine, I think answering this question benefits more than just you so it's not selfish to ask.

How to wrap your head around it. Hmm. Well first remember, muscle doesn't have to grow in actual size to be heavier. In other words the key to STRONG lean muscles that aren't bulky like a weight lifter is DENSITY. Muscles can grow stronger by becoming larger, or by just decreasing the space between muscle fibers.

think of muscle like this:
Take a bunch of rubber bands, cut them so they are rubber strings instead. now hold them loosely between your two hands. THIS is essentially a muscle at rest. There are two ways to make this muscle stronger, add more bands to the outside, keeping the same number of bands in the middle, or shove more bands in the middle, it makes the whole string harder, but not wider, and even though it's the same size, it'll still be stronger (harder to stretch). This is exactly how muscles work.

when you make muscles denser, you're not actually shoving more muscle fibers to the middle, you're just making the fibers in there stronger without increasing the overall volume of the muscle. So that's how muscle can get heavier without getting bigger.
NOW
Women are NOT genetically and biologically predisposed to have large muscle bulk. So unless you try REAALLLLY hard, you're probably not going to bulk up (there are genetic exceptions, but you'd know it if you were one), so essentially you could do the exact same routine as me (ratio wise) and eat the exact same food as me (again proportional to your body) and mirror our habits exactly for 3 months, and where I might bulk up and look far bigger, you would probably lean down and look more cut. Because men bulk up much easier than women, and we have different muscle mass ratios in different parts of the body, we also have different ratios to muscle fiber types (a whole different topic).

I don't know if I made it any clearer or just confused you more. But essentially, muscle can either get thicker or bulkier, if you make it thicker, it's heavier without being bigger, that's what women generally do (to a point, at some point you HAVE to increase bulk because there's no more room to increase density, but that's pretty far down the road for most women).

QueenofCups

THANK YOU! What an insightful and honest post. You really put things in perspective. I often beat myself up b/c I cant lost these last 10 lbs I think I am supposed to lose, and get so depressed when the scale isn't cooperating. Now, knowing you give your 5'4" female clients 12 lbs range (I am 5'4" with a med-large frame), I may not be as overweight as I thought.

dlaplume2

I actually want to weigh 15 pounds more than I did in highschool,I was a late bloomer so in highschool I had no shape to my body at all lol

My point simply being this, high school age is not a benchmark to use for any weight goals, not what you weighed, but your body chemistry. Some people may well be able to get back to their weight from high school. The point is, there are plenty of age adjusted, height adjusted, and frame type body weight tables on-line out there, I can post some of them if it's needed. In other words, don't just pick an arbitrary weight based on some weight you had in the past.

Thank you for posting this. I have still not set a goal. I have always struggled so hard to lose every single pound. I really don't feel I have a grasp on what is realistic.
When I look at charts they have me between 120 and 145. When I was younger and I weighed 140 people thought I was anorexic. I don't see myself getting that low.
I want to be healthy. I don't really care what the number on the scale says. I also have not lost weight like I have on this webstie. EVER. I originally wanted to lose 50lbs this year. That gives me 1lb a week with 2 to spare and enough to hit a plateau. I am losing at a much faster pace and I don't know if I should adjust it. I don't want to fail and get discouraged, but I don't want to set to small a goal and not try hard enough.
Overall I have between 60 and 70 lbs to lose so I figured this year would be 50 then next year I would work on those last 20. Does this seem good? Maybe too easy on myself?

lizard9800

Thanks for continually providing wisdom Banks!
I agree about BMI's. It sets a loose goal, but body types and muscle mass can affect it so much. I have a friend that is 5'6" and weighs 145. Her BMI is more than me at 5'8" and 150, but she is solid muscle and in better shape than me (for now!)
After 1 year of MFP I dropped to 135, which is still a healthy BMI for me, but my husband said I looked way too skinny and that a nice muscular 145 is perfect. That's why I love him!!

ilvpsu

As so many of us have said, it was well worth the read and the gentle reminder. We are so number-focused when it comes time to our weight, maybe because the only tool we have is a scale, generally speaking. Clothes are my big indicator, as well as I feel more sluggish.

Thanks...you might have tons of people asking you for advice.

navvs15

This was an interesting post. The fact is, I have no idea what my "real" goal weight will be. I do have a number on the MFP ticker, but I think my overall goal this time around is to lose A LOT of body fat. I think my body fat is around 30% and that's high. A healthy weight for me (for my height) would be 173. BUT I still would be high in body fat (as I'm 14 pounds away from being a "regular" weight).

A personal trainer on a website I found said that women shouldn't have a body fat percentage lower than 15% and that's something I could very well shoot for and would mean losing 15% of my fat.

I guess I'm going in the right direction. :huh:

melodyg

Another great post! I am always astounded when I see women who are 6 or 7 inches taller than I am aiming for the same goal I have (and then wonder if I am not pushing myself enough!) Thanks again for the reminder that my first goal should just be to get healthy. I really do think I'll end up aiming for a weight somewhere between 115 and 125 (I'm just over 5' so my max healthy BMI is around 130) but it is nice to keep getting validation that my slow and steady (or sometimes not so steady) approach is the right way to go about this.

Now, where are those people who keep growing after high school? I think I've grown less than an inch since I was 12! (Hence one reason I don't feel so bad about aiming for weights I last saw in college, especially since I'll surely be more fit at the end of this journey than I was then!)

Also throwing out a reminder to the other obese people out there that you don't HAVE to aim for 2 pounds a week. I have my goals set at about .8 pounds a week right now (at my BMR) and am losing as much there as I did when I tried for 1 to 1.5 pounds of weight loss a week. For me (and maybe for you), aiming for slower weight loss and a gradual reduction in calories as my body needs less is a key factor in making this a lifestyle change. I'll get to needing to eat 1200 to lose *anything* at some point, I am sure, but I'm putting it off as long as possible!

better_days_ahead

I absolutely love this! Thanks for posting!

live2smyle

How to wrap your head around it. Hmm. Well first remember, muscle doesn't have to grow in actual size to be heavier. In other words the key to STRONG lean muscles that aren't bulky like a weight lifter is DENSITY. Muscles can grow stronger by becoming larger, or by just decreasing the space between muscle fibers.

think of muscle like this:
Take a bunch of rubber bands, cut them so they are rubber strings instead. now hold them loosely between your two hands. THIS is essentially a muscle at rest. There are two ways to make this muscle stronger, add more bands to the outside, keeping the same number of bands in the middle, or shove more bands in the middle, it makes the whole string harder, but not wider, and even though it's the same size, it'll still be stronger (harder to stretch). This is exactly how muscles work.

when you make muscles denser, you're not actually shoving more muscle fibers to the middle, you're just making the fibers in there stronger without increasing the overall volume of the muscle. So that's how muscle can get heavier without getting bigger.

This was AWESOME! What a great way to explain it :flowerforyou: Thank you so much for that! It clicked now!

erickirb

This was an interesting post. The fact is, I have no idea what my "real" goal weight will be. I do have a number on the MFP ticker, but I think my overall goal this time around is to lose A LOT of body fat. I think my body fat is around 30% and that's high. A healthy weight for me (for my height) would be 173. BUT I still would be high in body fat (as I'm 14 pounds away from being a "regular" weight).

A personal trainer on a website I found said that women shouldn't have a body fat percentage lower than 15% and that's something I could very well shoot for and would mean losing 15% of my fat.

I guess I'm going in the right direction. :huh:

Actually that would be 50% of your fat and 50% of 30% is 15%., that would be more like losing 15% of your total body weight, but to lose 15% fat you will may have to lose more than 15% of your weight, as it is difficult to lose weight without losing some muscle.

doggiemomma

Thanks. I probably need to rethink my goal weight... Too bad that the end of your ticker can't just say "Not squishy".

I know. I wish mine could say that also.....

Murdog

This post is really what I've needed to see. Actually, it takes me back to Sept. 1997 when I graduated Marine Corps boot camp. The day before greaduation all the new Marines were getting on the scales to see how much weight they've lost. I saw many weigh 20-35 pounds less than when they first stepped onto those "yellow footprints" at Parris Island, SC. Then it was my turn. I had lost one (1) pound! 1 freakin' pound--that's it! I was way ticked off! But, then on graduation day my mom and my girlfriend (now my wife) picked me up and took me to their villa they were staying in. There, I changed into my civilian clothes I'd turned in at in-processing. My belt tightened up 5 notches!! 5!! Which told me that I was much leaner than I once was just 13 weeks prior.:happy:

This thread has helped me see my goals in a different light. I often think of having the body I had when I was in the military. But, I'm 41 now--not 27. And, I've neglected to feed my body what it needs by shoving junk in it.:grumble:

Seeing my goals in a different light, like instead of wanting to be the same weight I was at 18, I'd like to get into a pair of 34" waist Levis again; to be strong again... those are goals that I can deal with. Have a great Friday everybody.

melodyg

This is a slightly arbitrary target, but mid range for my height (5'). Whatever happens I want to be above 8 stone because this is the minimum weight to be able to donate blood. As a universal donor, that is important to me.

Off topic, but glad to know I'm not the only shortie out there who is keeping this in mind in losing weight. I have no desire to get below 110-115 (not that I'm even sure I could at this point!) because that is a perfectly appropriate weight for me and it is a weight I can still donate blood at.

navvs15

Thank you for that correction, erickirb. Math was never my strongest suit.

seniorfaye

I enjoyed your article very much. I don't want to weigh what I did in high school. Been too long ago for that. :-) Loosing a lb a wk sounds good to me. I've lost 8 lbs. since I saw my dr. He wants me to lose 10-15 lbs. by July so hopefully I'll be on maintenance by then.I have plenty of time to lose it.. I'm really surprised I've lost that much in the last month. You know sometimes when you get older it is harder to get it off. I love MFP for helping me.

jhmomofmany

don't get me started on post-pregnancy women and goals. The female body changes massively after child birth. Don't believe it when some pop star has a baby and says "I got my pre-baby body back." they didn't, they have a DIFFERENT body now, it can still be sexy, and healthy, and beautiful, but it'll never be what it was pre-baby. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

this makes me want to give you a hug. )

MTLumps

I love your posts and this one is no exception! Like many others, I really needed to hear this because I get stuck on the stupid numbers, too. I am at a healthy weight and can tell by how my clothes fit that I am losing inches even when I am not losing weight. I've never had a bad fat test but feel that this is what I need to pay attention to. What is my HRM telling me when it gives me a fat burned % with my calories burned after a workout? I am definitely eating better and am certainly healthier than I was after high school. Feels good to say that since my 25 year reunion is next summer.

Keep posting - such great truths that we need to be reminded of! Have a super weekend everyone.

Dencrossgirl

You are exactly correct.

spiritgirl

Wise words well spoken, Thank you for this post.

dawn454

what a great post, puts it all in a much more realistic perspective.

Woodman725

This makes so much sense, and I'm glad to see all the people getting on board. In the past several weeks since I've been using the message boards, the one thing that really annoyed me was people talking about what they were in high school. Obviously adults have different bodies than teenagers, so why should anyone think they can be the same size/shape they were in HS? Exceptions are if you were overweight/obese in HS and have never lost weight since. Anyway, it would be nice if MFP would consider letting us put a BMI or body fat% as a goal instead of weight. And any BMI calculator is assuming all people are equal(age/gender appropriate) as far as frame weight in order to calculate those numbers. It's good to have that range in any case, whether it be weight +/- 5 lbs or BMI +/- 1or2% or body fat +/- 1or2%. The "normal weight" range in the BMI is also a large weight range, for some people just being in that range is a good goal and others want to be very fit and slim and and the smaller end of the range, either way whose to judge as long as you're being healthy and realistic. You also have a great point in suggesting a goal of size and general health and fitness.
Alas, what are we to do....MFP asked us what our goal weight was, so we had to answer. Personally I like "not squishy" but my goal is "not jiggly".

chazspk

Love seeing ur posts......... And again its a good one....Thank you....:happy:

Serenitytoo

Thank you so much Banks. Great post as usual. :flowerforyou:

I got off the 2lbs/week bandwagon a while ago (lost 80lbs in 2009). While I am still obese (222lbs on a 5'6" frame 34yo) I felt I needed more than 1200cals a day. I am one of the exceptions though as I weighed around 170-180lbs when I graduated high school and my goal is 150lbs. This puts me at the high end of normal BMI and actually feels achievable. That said, the 150 is just a number. I could hit 160 and feel and look great, or I may need to go lighter to get rid of the jiggle :laugh: Unfortunately as I lose I have discovered that I do not have a large frame (I am admiting to medium, but I could still be deluding myself :laugh: ) so more than likely 150 will still be high, but time will tell.

cardbucfan

Banks, thanks so much for the post. I needed this slap upside the head.

When I started MFP, I was 157.7 and very unhappy with my body. I worked out ALOT but ate ALOT. Not always crap but alot of everything with some really unhealthy stuff thrown in. My original goal was 142. I have weighed that in the past and it was fairly easy to maintain. However, I always felt at that weight that I wanted to lose another 7 lbs. so I revised my goal to 135. By the way, I am 5'9" and 47 years old. and weighed 138 when I graduated from high school and have had two kids. Well, I'm now at 136.2 by my weigh in this morning, I am now wearing size 6 pants for the first time in my life but I was still frustrated that I hadn't hit that "magic" 135. I still have squishy areas and am trying to add more toning but it's really hard to shift my mindset away from "how many calories did I burn???????" But, thanks to you, I think I can honestly say I have hit my goal weight and my new goal needs to be toning related. I will make that appointment for the body assessment at the Y on Monday right now and make my new goals body fat % related. This post ought to be a sticky!

jane77

Thanks. I probably need to rethink my goal weight... Too bad that the end of your ticker can't just say "Not squishy".

Love this and thanks for the post!

SHBoss1673

Thank you for that correction, erickirb. Math was never my strongest suit.

fyi my dear. While 15% is valid for a woman, it's not an easy goal. That's elite athlete level fitness, women can be as low as about 13% and still be healthy, but between 13 and 16% is considered elite and REALLY tough to maintain. I'm not saying you shouldn't shoot for it, I think that's a great goal, but just wanted to throw a little reality in there and let you know, 15% is going to be rough. FYI, for a woman, 17 to 20% is usually not noticeable levels of fat, unless you are unfortunate enough to have it all clustered in one spot, because women hold some fat in other places (anywhere from 1% to 10% of total fat reserves can be in the breasts for women, so depending on breast size, your body fat can be quite different from someone else and still be pretty much exactly the same in all other measurements.)

clipsychic

Great post! Thanks!

Bumping for later reference!