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Do you feel like people treat you diffrent now that you've l

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  • jakspakjakspak Posts: 260Member Member Posts: 260Member Member
    i have noticed some old friends who have known me for many many years through the big boob period and all are starting to talk to me now and comment on how good i look mmm doesn't say much fro them really being so called Christians and only now im starting to look good they are giving me the time of day.

    my husband has noticed the most change in people alot of the guys at hubby's work are making comments about how good i look now and how they have to take a double look to see its me which is pretty cool. i am carrying myself better now which has to have a lot to do with it.
  • sgtinvinciblesgtinvincible Posts: 2,559Member Posts: 2,559Member
    Hey!

    It works the same for us guys too.

    When I was in competition shape, women would be all over me like white on rice.

    Now that I am heavier...I don't get the time of day from a woman.

    So yes...you do get treated differently when you are not fat.

    :mad:

    Yep.

    J why you yepin anyhow? You are so freakin cute it's crazy! Then you have a hot a$$ gf.. wow to live like Jermanda! (like how i celebritized your name?)

    Woo celebritized!

    I appreciate that you say I'm cute. I don't feel it most days, unfortunately, but I make up for it with my sparkling, charming, personality. (hehe, whatever)

    Most of my life I have been pretty chunky, with skinnier phases from time to time. A few years back in my early 20's I lost down to about 195-200 and was in great shape. I felt attractive then, because, well, I was, and the women were all over me. After I got married I was promoted to Detective and given a desk job. I put on about 80 pounds in 3 years and the attention from the ladies completely dried up. Another thing I noticed was that badguys disrespected me more when I was heavier. I guess a young, confident ripped out officer demanded more respect, than a fat, broken down detective. I don't guess I can argue with that logic.

    After my divorce I love the 80 pounds and am now back down to about what I was then (just not quite as toned, but I'm working on it...) and I am very aware of the difference I get from people. Even at work, the people tend to respect my position of authority more without challenging me, and also seem more eager to get to know me and be my friend. One girl here at work told me the other day, 'J, I didn't realize that you were so funny until you lost all that weight.' Read between the lines on that one....

    Anywho, yes, people do treat people differently. I think people who are more in shape are seen more as 'winners', and I think we have the media to thank for that. I mean, how many shows out there show the lovable lazy fat slob as a hero archytype?

    For instance, when I was married, my ex-wife and I were referred to affectionately as Doug and Keri (from King of Queens) as I was the fat funny one, and she was the feisty skinny girl. As our relationship progressed, people almost started expecting her to be the smart one, and me to be the dumb, lovable buffoon.

    Fact of the matter is, that now I am thinner, people *DO* treat me differently. Women are nicer and smile more, they also seem to go out of their way to help me etc. Guys tend to be more 'brotherly', treating me more as a collegue as opposed to an annoyance. I even had some random old guy elbow me on the street as we were waiting for the crosswalk to change, point at a heavy set guy that was standing on the other side and say 'Glad we don't look like that guy, eh?' I just answered, 'I used too.' He kinda looked surprised and said 'You did? Well, good for you for taking control of your life.'

    Anyway, I have gone on too long, suffice to say, that yes, it's true. At least in my experience. It irritates me to be honest, but that's the way our society is geared. We are programmed early as visual creatures, and we evaluate others worth by the way they look. I guess this is all the more reason that those of us who are walking this journey should make sure we are aware of it, so we don't turn into those same people that used to treat us that way as well.
  • ChubbyBunnyChubbyBunny Posts: 3,532Member Member Posts: 3,532Member Member
    People do try to treat me different....I just don't tolerate it. :laugh:
  • sindyb9sindyb9 Posts: 1,248Member Member Posts: 1,248Member Member
    Yes they do guys look at me differently, but I think the worst part is the girls they give me the evil eye and I just want to pull them aside and let them know I am working really hard to be healthy and lets walk together :laugh: :laugh:
  • AJCMAJCM Posts: 2,169Member Member Posts: 2,169Member Member
    That prejudice is really prevalent and it makes me mad:angry: :explode: My aunt is overweight, and we went out to eat, and these teenage boys were pointing at her and laughing. I got up in their faces and asked them if they had a problem....they turned tail and ran!

    I think you are AWESOME!!!!! Love it...
    :flowerforyou:
  • AJCMAJCM Posts: 2,169Member Member Posts: 2,169Member Member
    Hey!

    It works the same for us guys too.

    When I was in competition shape, women would be all over me like white on rice.

    Now that I am heavier...I don't get the time of day from a woman.

    So yes...you do get treated differently when you are not fat.

    :mad:

    I don't think it has to do with being fat really. I've been a big girl all my life and I'ma stay a bigger girl and I still get talked to. I think it's how you carry yourself. If you walk with your head high then it doesn't matter what you look like. People feed off of other peoples confidence. If I'm in a club and a guy is bigger but he has this way about him, I'ma talk to him regardless. At my heaviest I was treated fine, but I do walk around like my poop don't stink too. lol

    I completely agree! It's all about the way you carry yourself and how you FEEL about yourself!!!!
    :flowerforyou:
  • alejandra110alejandra110 Posts: 10Member Posts: 10Member
    I would definetly have to agree with crystal. I've always been big, but always confident. Confidence can take you very very far. I dont think many girls are confident enough. Losing weight i would say makes me look better, but i feel happy even if i only lose a lb a week. Its ok...I think when u are big, and u lose weight u learn to appreciate ur body more,its just a physical change, not mental. But lots of times when smaller girls get big, its both mental and physical. I know plenty of pretty young & thin girls. and they are not as confident as you would think. :tongue:
    But in the end, unfortunately people do treat smaller people different. And thats the way our society is..

    72790.png
  • sgtinvinciblesgtinvincible Posts: 2,559Member Posts: 2,559Member
    I would definetly have to agree with crystal. I've always been big, but always confident. Confidence can take you very very far. I dont think many girls are confident enough. Losing weight i would say makes me look better, but i feel happy even if i only lose a lb a week. Its ok...I think when u are big, and u lose weight u learn to appreciate ur body more,its just a physical change, not mental. But lots of times when smaller girls get big, its both mental and physical. I know plenty of pretty young & thin girls. and they are not as confident as you would think. :tongue:
    But in the end, unfortunately people do treat smaller people different. And thats the way our society is..

    72790.png


    This is true. Actually, in my experience, the bigger girls were far more comfortable and confident than the skinny ones.
  • CrystalBellaCrystalBella Posts: 848Member Member Posts: 848Member Member
    One girl here at work told me the other day, 'J, I didn't realize that you were so funny until you lost all that weight.' Read between the lines on that one....

    This girl is just stupid! That's so immature and there are other things I'm thinkin but I know I'm not allowed to say cause I resepct Mike, so you know what I'm thinkin. But I do understand what you are sayin about your previous situation. Now you are with someone who loves you regardless and wants nothin but the best for you. So no matter what, you're in great hands! Love you!! :flowerforyou:
  • CrystalBellaCrystalBella Posts: 848Member Member Posts: 848Member Member
    People do try to treat me different....I just don't tolerate it. :laugh:

    Exactly... there are haters everywhere! Tell em to keep it movin!
  • DjBliss05DjBliss05 Posts: 682Member Posts: 682Member
    I am just at the beginning of my journey this time and have not noticed much of a change yet.. except for on the days when I am feeling really proud of my teeny loss!

    Back in my single days, I went from having had just one boyfriend for most of my romantic life and being somewhat invisible to being shockingly popular with the dudes. I really had not expected that reaction at all! It changed a lot for me and I can't help but think I may not have been fully prepared for it. I have to admit, I really liked the change. I don't think it is right, but if we're honest we all do it. I just came to the conclusion that I don't want to be invisible anymore and am ready to get back to a smaller weight.
  • laurie49120laurie49120 Posts: 21Member Member Posts: 21Member Member
    Try being morbidly obese like I am...you are mostly invisible the heavier you are. People don't get to know me--they don't know how great a person I am and the wonderful things I have done. Professionally, it doesn't matter that I have a Master's degree. I actually had a prospective employer last year tell me they were not hiring me because of my weight. This is not a kind world to obese people. My general goal is for me to become healthy so I can live a fuller and longer life. However, a side goal is to lose weight in hopes that I will be less discriminated against.
  • overthehillsandfarawayoverthehillsandfaraway Posts: 179Member Posts: 179Member
    It happened to me with my classmates. I was fortunate to get along with every clique and social group. But NOW, they're wanting to hang out and be just more than classmates.


    Sorry, you had your chance. :laugh:
  • casey34472casey34472 Posts: 280Member Member Posts: 280Member Member
    YES!!! Its sad.:huh:
  • jlwhelan1jlwhelan1 Posts: 664Member Posts: 664Member
    I was only obese for a relatively short time (although it took two years to lose ALL my second baby weight). My son was so sick that I didn't really notice or care what people thought of my body, it was a side effect of three months bed rest and doctors orders not to limit my calories during that time.

    However, I have noticed that everything else being the same I get treated differently with long hair than short, and with red hair than with blond.

    Red hair (not my natural color although my coloring fits it) gets me many more comments than being my normal (dark) blond or lighter sun-bleached blond.

    When I have short hair people tend to look me in the eye more and listen more closely to what I say. When I have long blond hair I'm not taken nearly as seriously, unless someone already knows me. Also, with long light blond hair some fellas assumed I was easy and raring to take them on...(poor deluded souls, how wrong they were.) Red hair gets me the most comments, generally positive, but generally off base of who I really am. People think I'm Irish and have a wild temperament when I have red hair. Strangers will go way out of their way to treat me well. I think it is amazing that even though I am the same person and think (and act) the same way that I get treated so differently.

    (Right now short blond hair - I want to be taken seriously for my intellect. I cut off my hair when I came to graduate school. However after two years I'm growing it out so I can ponytail my hair when I'm in the lab, much simpler while I do my research. I'm a true nerd at heart.)
  • arewethereyetarewethereyet Posts: 18,854Member Member Posts: 18,854Member Member
    it is not just men. woman can be just as brutal.

    my best friend growing up was over 200 lbs

    I was 100 lbs soaking wet. I actually had a waitress bring me a big peice of mother butlers pie one night that i didnt order.

    when she sat it down she told me to 'eat up honey, and dont share with your freind'. I told her to go to....well :devil: .... a hot place and not florida. we walked out and didnt pay for any of the check. we were 19 yrs old.

    this girl could kick my but at jazzersize and could out run most of the boys in school.
  • arewethereyetarewethereyet Posts: 18,854Member Member Posts: 18,854Member Member
    also my son was over weight through out middle shool. he got so mad at not making any of the teams his freshmen year , he signed up for a gym and gave me a menu to cook for him.

    He lost 50 lbs over the summer.

    Well he goes back to school and all these girls are swarming him (god he is handsome)

    He walks right up the the 'normal' sized girl and asks her out. She was friends with him through freshman year and he is still friends with her and her family 10 yrs later.

    I have never been so proud (well the tulane scholarship came close!) ..bragging rights sorry.
  • Marla64Marla64 Posts: 21,974Member Member Posts: 21,974Member Member
    oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

    "Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

    I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

    Lighten up people.
  • sindyb9sindyb9 Posts: 1,248Member Member Posts: 1,248Member Member
    I have to say this I feel different when I see over weight people all I want to do is help them feel like I do. I also have a lot more respect when I see other heavy people like myself out there exercising it is not easy but also agree it is how you feel about yourself (the way you carry yourself). By the way who cares what people think or if they get to know you we all have the people in our lives that care and of course the best of all our MFP freinds. Love everybody. :heart:
  • laurie49120laurie49120 Posts: 21Member Member Posts: 21Member Member
    oh for goodness sake-- let's not make an issue out of a non-issue. So what if people are "nicer" to you once weight is lost? Maybe they have a healthy respect for you/me/him/her because we're doing something respectable and taking off weight.

    "Prejudice against fat people" is still acceptable because it's the one thing we can control for crying out loud. We weren't born fat. We got fat because we ate too much and exercised too little, and some of us, and we know who we are, were downright disgusting in our eating habits.

    I let myself blow up after each pregnancy out of stress. I chose to eat, chose to get fat, chose to let myself look bad. If people want to judge me because of it, they have every right. Once I choose to take off the weight and do something respectable, I will love reaping all the rewards, some of which will be extra attention from humanity.

    Lighten up people.

    Oh great going Marla, continue the stereotypes that fat people are out of control and lazy, and don't care about themselves. Each fat person is different and people don't get to know their story because of attitudes like yours. I was normal weight until I was repeatedly raped. I was very much in control of gaining weight...I was building up armor. My medications also made me gain weight. I have always ate healthy also...my eating habits are not disgusting. No, I wasn't eating a gallon of ice cream every night. Sometimes I was also too poor to afford "good food"...fat is cheap.

    I am treated like a nobody because of my weight. That is wrong. It doesn't matter the wonderful things I have done with my life, I am just a lazy, out of control fat person in most people's eyes. Discrimination is wrong, no matter what kind it is. Gee, thanks, for saying it's okay to do so.
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