Do you feel like people treat you diffrent now that you've l

sgtinvincible

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

BrandNewLaura

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

LOL you and me both

shorerider

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

Me, too!

Marla64

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

Me, too!

Well, as Ralph Kramden would say-- I got a biiiiiiiiiig mouuuuuuth.

:bigsmile:

MontanaGirl

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

Me, too!

Well, as Ralph Kramden would say-- I got a biiiiiiiiiig mouuuuuuth.

:bigsmile:

Thats funny Marla - my dh's aunt Marla passed away last October, unexpectedly, and she would say the SAME thing. OMG - you made me cry a little! Never ever knew anyone else with her name - now here you are and just about like her too!!

Marla64

Bless your heart-- I'm sorry for you and your hubby. We Marla's are a small group, but what we lack in numbers we make up for in spunk. :glasses:

MontanaGirl

Bless your heart-- I'm sorry for you and your hubby. We Marla's are a small group, but what we lack in numbers we make up for in spunk. :glasses:

You got that right!! Never met a spunkier one than her. Holy cow!! She was a little ditzy to - but made her all that more loveable. She used to talk to dh on the phone and I would hear her say "tell Kim to quit rolling her eyes at me" lol

kellch

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: It's just mean to treat people badly...I don't care what they look like. ya know? It's none of anyone elses business if someone they dont know is overweight or obese. But oh well it's all good in the MFP hood :laugh: No hard feelings toward anyone. I just can't believe anyone would condone anyone to be mean to anyone else just because of their looks. That's what I meant...but my fingers just started typing and I couldnt control them...:bigsmile:

kellch

I'm just proud that I was able to keep myself out of this topic.

No more controversial topic superman!!!

LOL :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: It's just mean to treat people badly...I don't care what they look like. ya know? It's none of anyone elses business if someone they dont know is overweight or obese. But oh well it's all good in the MFP hood :laugh: No hard feelings toward anyone. I just can't believe anyone would condone anyone to be mean to anyone else just because of their looks. That's what I meant...but my fingers just started typing and I couldnt control them...:bigsmile:

And I just get so upset at the thought of other people making a bad situation worse with ridicule....Maybe just maybe that overweight person could use some encouraging words. And it just rips me apart knowing how it feels to be depressed and have a bad self image and a bad day and have someone else make u feel worse than you already do by confirming those negative thoughts. Then think to yourself that you're worthless and its hopeless. What if no one supports you, welllll...food always makes ya feel better temporarily..... I was abused physically and mentally and I got to the point where I thought I was better off dead. He threatened to kill me if I left too. I had a shotgun held to my head. And he called me a fat ugly @#$%@ every single day...EVEN BEFORE I GAINED the weight. And when I did gain the weight, I saw my neice and she told me I needed to lay off the doughnuts. She's only a kid so I couldnt be mad at her. She didn't know. Then my grandma told me I needed to go on a diet. But she didn't realize that just a couple days before I had a miscarraige because my ex said he didnt want some fat @#$% having his baby and shoved me down the stairs. I was too embarrassed and scared to tell anyone. And with me being so depressed all I really needed was some encouraging words and a hug. And there's a lot of details I left out of that story that were involved...but you get the point.
And if you don't I guess this is it:
When someone is already down you dont need to kick them...instead reach out your hand and help them up.

ORRRRR.......in other words...Let's all just be nice!! :laugh:

ChubbyBunny

HAHA! You kill me!

Thank you....she is cute....despite my tragic story associated with her (not really the guy was WAY too creepy)

Well, to be honest, I do think you are pretty. So there.

Ah thanks ya nut.
However, I love Manda's dark hair so she is WAY hotter then me.

I am about to unleash the Manda bear fury on myself but...

*Manda might not be a true brunette....*

J, you TOTALLY created you own crisis topic!

obliged

*back on topic*
:huh:
am i the only one who gets paranoid when they find someone staring at them (i refuse to believe they're checking me out:noway: )?

i totally freak!:grumble:
i'm like "ok shirt, check. pants, check. no underwear showing, check. shoes, check. no holes or rips in pants or shirt, check. ... do i have a booger running out my nose i dont know about? ... no? am i twitching or something, maybe thats it you never know when you're twitching properly... nope damn it whats wrong with me! maybe its my hair maybe i have something in it... nope nothing... err....":frown:

and by this time they've definitely realized that you've noticed them and so they stop... because now they think you're a totally insane for checking all these things, so you stop freaking out


ahh paranoia tis an awesome thing:sick:

PedalHound

I think the concern with the bluntness of the controversial posts is that, although living in black and white and accepting the discrimination that happens in our world is ones own choice or way of viewing life, this is a site for everyone. And as someone said early on, each of these threads is a conversation that you are more than welcome to participate in or not. I am most definitely an opinionated person but make a strong point of trying not to make people feel small in the shadows of my opinions. Speaking opinions with consideration for the fact that others will not feel the same way and some can even be hurt by your opinion versus speaking your opinions in a context of judgment ("let's not be so thin-skinned", and a tone that reads, 'it's your own damned fault you're fat so stop whining about it') are very very different things.

People are here because they WANT to make a change. They are undertaking the magnanimous task of reconfiguring paradigms and coping mechanisms and facing fears and emotional battles and a great amount of healing. Everyone to a different degree, but as has been said over and over, EVERYONE has their story. In general, I would suggest that this is a site where people are looking for safe support. It requires trust and vulnerability to open yourself up to the real kind of support that helps make this journey a success. Judgmental commentary is very destructive to that atmosphere which is why people have reacted so poorly to the way you've delivered your opinions. People are free to speak their minds, yes. But for goodness sake, employ some sensitivity, especially when you see you're hurting someone.

:flowerforyou:

In other news, I also have a 3.5 yr old and a 1.5 yr old!!! I see you are doing well with your weight loss on here! Congrats! I found it a real struggle to lose the weight after the second (we essentially had two babies back to back), and I'm still working on the last few lbs. My daughter is now weened as well, and that is another whole body issue! :ohwell:

Did I also read that you own a natural baby supply store? (or am I mixing you up with someone else). My children both suffer with bad eczema, so we turned to natural living / whole foods diets some time ago. Just thought we had some things in common.
:flowerforyou:

Cool! Yes, I do have a store: http://ecobambiniplanet.com
It can be really tough toshed baby weight but I'm the most concerned about my belly skin :ohwell: My little guy was BIG and my belly proves it!! :laugh: My son is still breastfeeding and my daughter may be done. I think. lol With extended BF it can be hard to tell - she's gone a month between at times! It can do a number on your skin but MAN is it worth it

Marla64

I think the concern with the bluntness of the controversial posts is that, although living in black and white and accepting the discrimination that happens in our world is ones own choice or way of viewing life, this is a site for everyone. And as someone said early on, each of these threads is a conversation that you are more than welcome to participate in or not. I am most definitely an opinionated person but make a strong point of trying not to make people feel small in the shadows of my opinions. Speaking opinions with consideration for the fact that others will not feel the same way and some can even be hurt by your opinion versus speaking your opinions in a context of judgment ("let's not be so thin-skinned", and a tone that reads, 'it's your own damned fault you're fat so stop whining about it') are very very different things.

People are here because they WANT to make a change. They are undertaking the magnanimous task of reconfiguring paradigms and coping mechanisms and facing fears and emotional battles and a great amount of healing. Everyone to a different degree, but as has been said over and over, EVERYONE has their story. In general, I would suggest that this is a site where people are looking for safe support. It requires trust and vulnerability to open yourself up to the real kind of support that helps make this journey a success. Judgmental commentary is very destructive to that atmosphere which is why people have reacted so poorly to the way you've delivered your opinions. People are free to speak their minds, yes. But for goodness sake, employ some sensitivity, especially when you see you're hurting someone.

I dunno, ladies and gentleman, at the end of the day I'm still scratching my head and trying to figure out how it is offensive to accurately state the world as it is. Society discriminates against a whole bevy of things. I didn't say it's right, I didn't say it's fair-- but it is what it is, so of course I accept it. I can't change it, I can only change myself.

Some of the things discriminated against are within our realm of control. Our weight is one of them. We can't change our skin color, gender or nationality. We may suffer discrimination because of them, but they're beyond our control. We can choose to control our weight. We can choose to confront our demons and defeat them and regain this area of our lives, and take this issue off the table for those who may wish to make it one.

All this hullabaloo about insensitivity and offensiveness when I'm stating things that are undeniable-- (and I'll say I, so I don't offend by saying "We" since I was told I'm not part of "WE")-- I am fat, (overweight, weight challenged, chubby, portly, zaftig-- you pick the adjective) because I ate too much and exercised too little. I have yet to read a story, with the exception of those on medication or battling serious health issues, where the bottom line is not the same

I'm not knocking fat people-- I AM a fat person. I'm not pointing at, laughing about or insulting anyone because of their weight. Because I battle my weight like everyone else here I understand the temptations, emotional battles, and everything else that brought us to this point. I may not have been "morbidly obese," but growing up a fat kid was no picnic. We all know kids are brutal, and we all know that food is a great comforter for hurt feelings.

We all know the dreadful cycle-- I'm upset so I eat, I gained weight so I'm upset, so I eat....

BUT--

I read yesterday about Chef Jeff, a black man who rose above his inner-city upbringing, even after spending time in prison for drug dealing, to graduate from culinary school and is some top chef in Las Vegas. He appeared on Oprah, and just sold his life story and a movie will be in the works. What he says moved me to my core-- he is also a motivational speaker who visits prisons to motivate those to redeem and reclaim their lives....the following is a direct quote from Jeff Henderson--

"But, in order to achieve change and redemption, one must accept responsibility and get off the victim bandwagon and prepare themselves for life on the outside. "'

I read that the other day and thought of this thread-- he's speaking to us. And I, for one, am getting off the bandwagon-- I've been on it all my life. It doesn't matter what I went through, how society views me, why I ate, what I ate, how much I ate, how much pain I endured, how many kids I have, how much I work, blah, blah, blah and all my other excuses-- what matters is what I'm going to do about it to take back a part of my life that I've allowed to elude me for wayyyyyyy too long.

That is all I've been saying. I applaud one and all for coming here more than you know, and battling their demons and tackling this issue. And yes, it is the one last bastion of acceptable discrimination (well, with the exception of Christianity-- but that's for another message board) But, again, perhaps it is so because it is an area we can control. It's hard as "HE double toothpicks" to control it and own it, and defeat it, and those who have never battled their weight will never understand it and will criticize, poke fun, ridicule and discriminate. Never have I said it's okay, but I do understand it and accept it for what it is. This is the way the world is, ladies and gentlemen. We can change it only to the degree that we can change ourselves. I don't discriminate, but I'm taking what I can off the table for others to discriminate against me.

okay-- rambling again-- once again, I will apologize that my "black and white" view of life offends. My views are referring to myself-- this is what I realize-- this is what is helping me. Obviously I think it is a self-view that could help YOU or I wouldn't 'share," but my intent is not to hurt anyone and apologize if I have. I "feel everyone's pain" we all have it, to one degree or another. But, solely, personally speaking, I can't hide behind mine anymore-- half my life is over, and it's been spent fat-- I'm tired of it.

Carrie6o6

*back on topic*
:huh:
am i the only one who gets paranoid when they find someone staring at them (i refuse to believe they're checking me out:noway: )?

i totally freak!:grumble:
i'm like "ok shirt, check. pants, check. no underwear showing, check. shoes, check. no holes or rips in pants or shirt, check. ... do i have a booger running out my nose i dont know about? ... no? am i twitching or something, maybe thats it you never know when you're twitching properly... nope damn it whats wrong with me! maybe its my hair maybe i have something in it... nope nothing... err....":frown:

and by this time they've definitely realized that you've noticed them and so they stop... because now they think you're a totally insane for checking all these things, so you stop freaking out


ahh paranoia tis an awesome thing:sick:

Yeah I get paranoid. When ever someone looks down at my shirt... (where the girls are haha) I always think that I have spilt food or something cause I always spill food on myself. Or right after I eat something like ice cream or chocolate... well anything really .. I always seem to get food on my face and Im always paranoid that theres something on my mouth so I try and hide it. haha I often try to figure out why ppl are looking at me and then I try to hide in case there is something I dont know about going on haha