Help me with my car!

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  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    I'm trying it with my speedometer now. A cop can't ticket me if I can't tell what speed I'm going!
    That's not necessary. All you have to do is close your eyes when you drive past the cop w/ the radar gun on you. He can't see you when you close your eyes. :wink::laugh:

    Oh! Duh! Why didn't I think of that? Just like when I stick my fingers in my ears and go "la la la la I can't hear yoooooou" then that person and what they are saying doesn't exist! Thanks Running!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    Bwahahahaha

    Thanks, I needed a good laugh.
  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
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    Man everybody here has given you terrible advice, and for that I am sorry, don't they know you are in need of some serious help, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here on MFP. Okay, just follow these steps and you will be fine;

    1) Check your blinker fluid, you don't want to run out of that.
    2)How is your air freshner. Try pine scented or you know, one of those other lil scented pine tree dealies.
    3)Always apply your makeup carefully, other people don't care that you need to look good.
    4)Change the air in your tires depending on season, You gotta replace the winter air with spring/summer air, or your car won't run
    right.
    5)Make sure after you turn, even if a slight turn, that you leave your blinker on for at least 5 miles, in case you have to turn again.
    6)Oil changes are over-rated, the more you get, the higher the price of gas, especially if we bomb Libya again.
    7)Get a dashboard Jesus, with him on board, nothing can go wrong. (get the dashboard hula dancer as well, I mean, Jesus needs something to look at too!

    If you follow these steps, you will be fine. Have a good day, and good luck.
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    Help! My car is running real bad. I put gas in it sometimes, but sometimes I forget and I run out and my brother needs to bring me some. LOL. I never change the oil or check the tires because I don't believe in that stuff. But it's running really bad lately. And sometimes it doesn't start right away. Help?

    Edit: (this is my parody of a typical MFP thread)

    I think someone needs to eat their exercise calories.
    LMAO!!! that was a great comment.
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    Man everybody here has given you terrible advice, and for that I am sorry, don't they know you are in need of some serious help, otherwise you wouldn't have posted here on MFP. Okay, just follow these steps and you will be fine;

    1) Check your blinker fluid, you don't want to run out of that.
    2)How is your air freshner. Try pine scented or you know, one of those other lil scented pine tree dealies.
    3)Always apply your makeup carefully, other people don't care that you need to look good.
    4)Change the air in your tires depending on season, You gotta replace the winter air with spring/summer air, or your car won't run
    right.
    5)Make sure after you turn, even if a slight turn, that you leave your blinker on for at least 5 miles, in case you have to turn again.
    6)Oil changes are over-rated, the more you get, the higher the price of gas, especially if we bomb Libya again.
    7)Get a dashboard Jesus, with him on board, nothing can go wrong. (get the dashboard hula dancer as well, I mean, Jesus needs something to look at too!

    If you follow these steps, you will be fine. Have a good day, and good luck.
    beav... i resent that blinker fluid comment! i have absolutely said that before... of course i was meaning to say brake fluid. but it sure came out blinker fluid. i think my father might have pee'd himself he laughed so hard!
  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
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    @mishelnkiki--I didn't mean to offend, I would never, ever do that, ever. I only post helpful suggestions that never get posts locked. I am here for the better good of this site. How can I ever make it up to you.:bigsmile: :wink: :tongue: :flowerforyou:
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    I think you might be better off humping trees, Taso!
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
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    @mishelnkiki--I didn't mean to offend, I would never, ever do that, ever. I only post helpful suggestions that never get posts locked. I am here for the better good of this site. How can I ever make it up to you.:bigsmile: :wink: :tongue: :flowerforyou:
    ill forgive u... if u come and change my blinker fluid for me! i cant figure out where its at. theres too many fluids under there.
  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
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    @mishelnkiki--I didn't mean to offend, I would never, ever do that, ever. I only post helpful suggestions that never get posts locked. I am here for the better good of this site. How can I ever make it up to you.:bigsmile: :wink: :tongue: :flowerforyou:
    ill forgive u... if u come and change my blinker fluid for me! i cant figure out where its at. theres too many fluids under there.

    Of course, and I will rotate the air in your tires too!
  • 1234lbsgone
    1234lbsgone Posts: 296 Member
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    BLINKER FLUID! Thats probably why my left headlight hasn't been working the past few weeks.
  • ♥jewel♥
    ♥jewel♥ Posts: 839
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    Can solve that problem for less than 5 bucks. Gallon of gas and a lighter!

    You can get a gallon of gas AND a lighter for less than $5..... :noway:
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    Can solve that problem for less than 5 bucks. Gallon of gas and a lighter!

    You can get a gallon of gas AND a lighter for less than $5..... :noway:

    It would be very close in my town!
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    Can solve that problem for less than 5 bucks. Gallon of gas and a lighter!

    You can get a gallon of gas AND a lighter for less than $5..... :noway:

    It would be very close in my town!
    OK make it a gallon of gas and a few kitchen stick matches.
  • Shawnalee0703
    Shawnalee0703 Posts: 1,093
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    Can solve that problem for less than 5 bucks. Gallon of gas and a lighter!

    You can get a gallon of gas AND a lighter for less than $5..... :noway:
    I wondered that too! haha not these days ;)
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    I'm trying it with my speedometer now. A cop can't ticket me if I can't tell what speed I'm going!
    That's not necessary. All you have to do is close your eyes when you drive past the cop w/ the radar gun on you. He can't see you when you close your eyes. :wink::laugh:

    lmao my 3 year old daughter used to do that when she was doing something shes not supposed to.
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
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    BLINKER ! Thats probably why my left headlight hasn't been working the past few weeks.

    ROTFLMFAO!!! :laugh: :laugh::laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    I'm trying it with my speedometer now. A cop can't ticket me if I can't tell what speed I'm going!
    That's not necessary. All you have to do is close your eyes when you drive past the cop w/ the radar gun on you. He can't see you when you close your eyes. :wink::laugh:

    lmao my 3 year old daughter used to do that when she was doing something shes not supposed to.
    That's an old trucker's joke.
  • Sonofabiscuit2
    Sonofabiscuit2 Posts: 323 Member
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    I can't be bothered to read all of these posts or realistically even yours op. My suggestion is see a mechanic as it is obvious that you are severely damaging your engine. Your car needs at least a much fuel put in as you use in daily driving. a proper oil change and tire replacement will actually help you to consume less fuel. All this said please see the thread titled "how much gas do you put in your car?" It will provide more details on your car's empty mode.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    BLINKER FLUID! Thats probably why my left headlight hasn't been working the past few weeks.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    All you need to do is send 3 easy payments of $39.99 to this company in Antarctica, they will send you a blend of sugar free sugar made from an african cactus and rare chinese noodle water, and your car will turn into a Ferrari in just 10 days!!!!

    Don't do it! I tried that and mine just turned into a Miata, and one of the rotary pistons was bent!

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