To all the ugly people!!

jtsmou

This is for us, the ugly, the awkward, the freaks and the geeks. This is for every guy who hears the utterance of "Eww" every time he walks into a room. This is for the wall flowers, and girls who are ignored. All the guys perpetually stuck in the "friend" zone. All the ladies who are ignored by the sales staff at any given store when some pretty girl walks in. This is for the everyone who has been laughed at, sneered at, or called a creep while just trying to be friendly with maybe a distant hope of possible friendship resting in our eyes.

It's the inside that matters.... yet we are told that the "pretty" people are smarter ( http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3354410/Study-reveals-good-looking-people-are-also-the-cleverest.html ) , they are coddled and given attention over us from a young age, ( http://edition.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/07/08/looks/ ) and indoctrinated with a sense of superiority. Hmmmm anyone see a problem that seems to manifest between those studies? Hmmm, I remember my teachers telling me I was stupid and telling the other kids not to be like me... What does the media beat into our heads aside from the fact that if you don't have some kind of exceptional talent, or loads of money, you're pretty much screwed?

So what drives this idea that it's what's on the inside that matters? Oh, I would agree that many people have a line that if you cross no matter how pretty you are, they will begin to distance themselves, but are you going to tell me that pretty people don't for the most part get away with being nasty individuals?

It's not about weight at all either, dropping more weight doesn't have anything more to do with my confidence now than it did 10 years ago. Those here that know something about me know that I was a professional fighter for years, I was in shape, and either way, nothing has really changed other than my lack of mobility from the injuries I have managed to sustain.

But it's what's inside... You mean that fire within you, the sense of passion that beats in your chest and reverberates through your core, that something that shines through you and radiates out touching everything around you?

I don't have that, if I ever did it was ripped out of me... For me, there is just this sense of impending emptiness that consumes me a little more each time I open my eyes. I am nothing, I am nobody, I am the 3 day storm that flooded your garden of slow heart beats and drums, I am mortality and inches from sin.....

Can you all honestly tell me that you have never treated someone differently than you would have another based on their looks? Don't forget that I have seen some of your convos in the status updates, you remember, the one where the gross guy tried talking to you, and you either ignored him, or along with the support of a friend you started mocking him... Look deep within yourself, because if I can admit that I have, then I will know truth when I hear it. Afraid it will hurt your image in such an image conscious society? Fear is the boundary of truth, and we often lie, even to ourselves if it will appease our own sense of fear.

misschocolate82

Well I will be the first to start with confession, but not in the way you would expect!

I can hand on heart say I have not openly been nasty to an 'ugly' person.....I can admit though I have been nasty to an attractive person for no apparent reason other than pure jealousy....I have found faults where there isn't any just to try and make myself feel better....I haven't called names as such, more been stand-off ish....or pointed out 'flaws' to my other half....for example, that tall, slender stunning woman walking on the other side of the street has 'a croaked nose'...i will do my upmost to convince him than she isn't really 'that' attractive. When deep down I would do anything to look like her.

jtsmou

Well I will be the first to start with confession, but not in the way you would expect!

I can hand on heart say I have not openly been nasty to an 'ugly' person.....I can admit though I have been nasty to an attractive person for no apparent reason other than pure jealousy....I have found faults where there isn't any just to try and make myself feel better....I haven't called names as such, more been stand-off ish....or pointed out 'flaws' to my other half....for example, that tall, slender stunning woman walking on the other side of the street has 'a croaked nose'...i will do my upmost to convince him than she isn't really 'that' attractive. When deep down I would do anything to look like her.

And why would you be jealous? Dig deeper, examine that, what notions come to mind? We are told to believe our sense of jealousy is petty and we shouldn't succumb to it. It's selfish right? But is it? What is in our nature, why would we react as if there was a threat? Our society gives attractive people an advantage according to various studies, and we seem to see examples of that in action every day. Does stuffing that jealousy serve to perpetuate that advantage? I know we like to think that we are above such petty behavior..

ToniNicole90

I absolutely LOVE this... so thank you for posting it

About a week ago I got another piercing (lovely number 8) and as I was walking through town on my way home and a group of girls openly mocked my dress sense and how 'ugly' I am and my own (generic beauty of a) sister actually joined in.
I put on a brave face and fake confidence but it does really hurt.

misschocolate82

For me its a feeling of being second best....growing up...my sister was the pretty popular girl, whilst I was the sensible clever one...at school any lad I had interest in always liked her.
Even as an adult I still compare....in reality I have a 'happier' life, a wonderful adoring husband, 5 beautiful healthy children and live in a lovely little town with good friends, whereas she has had a handful of very bad relationships and struggling to bring up her little boy on her own....yet I still envy her, and fear that deep down my husband finds her more attractive or any other woman for that matter.
And its not about trust either....I trust my husband 100% and know he would never intentional hurt me but the thought of him finding someone else more attractive is a killer even though its completely natural.

JenniferH81

I don't care what people look like. It's about personality.

I find everyone attractive in their own ways, and have personally never met someone I would consider "ugly"

There's always a lot of good in every single person. people just dont look.

Cait_Sidhe

Thank you for this post, I enjoyed reading it and I agree to an extent. While on good days I do not consider myself ugly, I have for various reasons been ostracized my entire life (health reasons, grew up extremely poor, was and am alternative/punk/goth). I know what it's like living life from the outside looking in.

It's because of this that I do not judge others based on looks. I think the rejection and ridicule actually made me a better person in that I'm more accepting of things beyond the norm. Not that I think that it was right or that people should have treated me like that. But it gave me an empathy few people have.

suzycreamcheese

Beauty from injections or from the surgeon's knife is true ugliness!

i dunno, i think judgemental attitudes about what people can an cant do with their own bodies is uglier

Cait_Sidhe

i dunno, i think judgemental attitudes about what people can an cant do with their own bodies is uglier

Totally agreed. That's what makes people ugly in my eyes.

myofibril

And why would you be jealous?

Because it's a natural emotion when you perceive that someone has an unfair advantage that you do not have. If it is inequitable then it is a normal human reaction to feel upset and a sense of injustice.

I think that repressing those feelings aren't healthy. Then it becomes inverted and becomes self loathing. If you don't allow yourself to experience the emotions then you can't identify them or deal with them. Most people spend their lives try to avoid painful emotions, quite understandably, but that stifles your personal growth and development.

How you choose to deal with those feelings then defines the path which you take. Make no mistake about it. Negative emotions can be addictive as crack. Indulging in them, fostering them in a peverse way can be pleasurable for some people. Hell, "The Smiths" made an entire career on providing angst ridden teenagers with music to supplement their mood. If you fall into the trap of emotionally indulging yourself for too long, too often, though then it becomes self destructive.

A mental attack is not like a physical attack. If you put a knife to my arm and press I have no option but to bleed. If you try and put a mental knife to me then I can choose to bleed or not. I have the power. I have the choice. I get to dictate my outcome. I can train myself to by mental strong. I own that process, no one else.

Don't give other people the power to define you or your actions. Don't be a reaction to their attitudes, mould your own. Harness the emotional energy from negative emotions and use them as the fuel to power yourself ascent.

Get busy living or get busy dying. Those are your options....

cklbrown

I don't think you are ugly. But I understand what it is like to feel that way.

fteale

I don't think anyone is ugly. Well, maybe people who are really disfigured aren't very appealing to look at, but not ugly. Ugly is something that is only in the personality. No one is born ugly.

That said I HATED what I looked like all through my teenage years. I genuinely thought I was the most hideous thing on the planet. I couldn't figure it out, because I was blonde with big boobs and kind of should have been attractive, but people made it clear they found me hideous.

It wasn't until I left school and suddenly got masses of attention, I realised it wasn't me, it was them, the school bullies (mostly boys) who had spent 8 years putting me down. Probably to make themselves feel better. Goodness knows. Or in the hope if I had no self esteem I might sleep with them? Never worked. Anyway. If other people make you feel ugly, it's a sign of their own insecurity, they think that stomping on others makes them look better. It doesn't.

Charging people double for being nice to you is stupid, bitter and twisted, but that is the only ugly thing about the OP. Wake up, realise you aren't, no one is. Take care of yourself and others will take care of you in turn. But don't begrudge people being nice. You sound like you are rather self loathing, and really, it's pointless. You are what you make of yourself.

Panda_Jack

I'm right there with ya brother. A long time ago, one of my ex's broke up with me and actually said I wasn't good looking enough for her. Still kinda haunts me to this day, and every once in a while, when I think of it still makes me feel insecure.

skittybang

Ugly is in someone's personality. And you are NOT ugly. For me, the harder someone makes me laugh or the more you make me think... the better looking you get ;-) I'll use the cliche that 'beauty is skin deep' and in everyday life people keep proving that.

True story (and why I have a limited group of friends- don't put up well with b-s) - I'm at my cousin's place to watch some sports, drink some beers, have a fun time with some friends and someone's girlfriend brings her friends. Very pretty but OMG her personality smelled of elderberries. She starts telling this one guy how he will never get a girl like her and how she never has had a problem getting guys to like her. He straight up said "you're f%^&ing ugly." Her response "What? you must be gay! You're saying you wouldn't sleep with me? Look at me!!" I did proceed to take her purse and chuck it out the door. But it proves the saying.

bettyboop573

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. And you, my friend, are not. Superficial remains that way throughout.

this pretty much says it all

dnthaveasn

so ...since we all came into this thread...does that mean that we all think that we are ugly!!!??? To start off...EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way!!

I agree with the saying "you cannot judge a book by its cover":huh:

and i personally don't think people should get judged until they open their mouths!! LMAO!! :laugh:

Joe...I will be your Alice in the apocalypse!!!

I couldn't agree more!

Since Tara is your Alice for the apocalyose, I will be your Claire for the apocalyose. I watched enough Resident Evil to know how to get some zombie butt

FearAnLoathing

I was also told I was ugly most of my life,lucky for me I dont give a f*** what othe people think.
When the zombie appocalypse comes do you have room for me and my blow up doll?
I promise not to trap you in anymore closets

bettyboop573

Man, all my life I have felt out of place. I TOTALLY know what you mean. I can vividly remember grade school. I don't usually think about it, but when things come up like your post, I can certainly see it in my memory plain as day.

same....I was always made fun of and i have one memory in particular where a guy at school told one of the girls she looked like me. She acted like that was the worst insult. One guy even compared me to my dog. With my short hair I have been called a guy, and even my athletic figure which i have worked hard for is just another reason for people to make me feel bad about myself at times. To this day my confidence can be low. My hubby always tells me he thinks I am beautiful but some days are easier to believe than others. So I am not one to make fun of others who are "ugly"

binary_jester

I promise not to trap you in anymore closets

28 Week Later reference?

MyaPapaya75

This totally reminds me of the episode in Twilight Zone where the girl was absolutely stunning yet thought she was ugly because the society of people around her looked different....they were in fact hideous for the shows purpose they looked like aliens or creatures.....a lot of people are programmed to judge and group others together based on looks..sad really...Im just glad I wasnt raised as such....I think those of us blessed enough to see whats on the inside first really do view the world in a whole different way....kinda gives us an advantage...just my opinion :flowerforyou:

naturechyld

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. And you, my friend, are not. Superficial remains that way throughout. Real people don't require to hear what they should already know. That said, I wanna be on your squad when zombies are omnoming skulls. I got your back.

I like this.

phinners

Well I don't flirt with anyone other than my hubby, but I do chat and I do have a laugh and I am polite when out shopping etc, christ I hope they didnt think I was flirting!!

And I know I am not 'media' beautiful, but I'm utterly adored by my husband and that's all I give a **** about

binary_jester

I see “ugly” in a slightly different way. I see it as leagues. In the OP’s example, she felt she could get some sort of benefit because he was out of her “league”. I have had a similar confirmation. With any of my SO’s, when someone sees a picture of them, almost all the time I get a surprised “Wow, she is REALLY pretty.” My guess it is subconscious, but the message is pretty clear.
I am 100% confident in my personality. I can make you laugh. I can hold a fairly intelligent debate on 90% of all topics (unless it is physics then I will resort to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy quotes). But I also know my limitations. I will never be the guy that walks into a bar and get an immediate 2nd glance from a female. Bitter? Absolutely not. Just a honest self evaluation. Another example? I was voted most popular in high school, but dated rarely.
Attraction is what it is. It defies logic and explanation…and there is nothing wrong with that. But physical first impressions are what we have to go by. It is the people that can override or look past that are the people posting here.
I have always felt I am the antithesis to the platitude “I just want a guy that can make me laugh.”
Don’t think this is an indictment to anybody that has posted in this thread, for it is not. It is my interpretation and also an admission of hypocrisy. I play the game too. I am baffled by Julia Roberts/Lyle Lovett and Isla Fisher/that Borat guy relationships.

Edit: forgive any grammatical errors as this was written way too early in the morning.

skittybang

I see “ugly” in a slightly different way. I see it as leagues. In the OP’s example, she felt she could get some sort of benefit because he was out of her “league”. I have had a similar confirmation. With any of my SO’s, when someone sees a picture of them, almost all the time I get a surprised “Wow, she is REALLY pretty.” My guess it is subconscious, but the message is pretty clear.
I am 100% confident in my personality. I can make you laugh. I can hold a fairly intelligent debate on 90% of all topics (unless it is physics then I will resort to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy quotes). But I also know my limitations. I will never be the guy that walks into a bar and get an immediate 2nd glance from a female. Bitter? Absolutely not. Just a honest self evaluation. Another example? I was voted most popular in high school, but dated rarely.
Attraction is what it is. It defies logic and explanation…and there is nothing wrong with that. But physical first impressions are what we have to go by. It is the people that can override or look past that are the people posting here.
I have always felt I am the antithesis to the platitude “I just want a guy that can make me laugh.”
Don’t think this is an indictment to anybody that has posted in this thread, for it is not. It is my interpretation and also an admission of hypocrisy. I play the game too. I am baffled by Julia Roberts/Lyle Lovett and Isla Fisher/that Borat guy relationships.

Edit: forgive any grammatical errors as this was written way too early in the morning.

well put

Fesse

I would like to reply to this by saying...... I wonder what YOU think of me when you look at my profile picture. Do you say to yourself that she is pretty? Or cute..... or whatever it is you say when you find a girl attractive. Well, maybe you do or maybe you don't which is none the matter. My point here is that I, ME, don't think I'm attractive at all...... I feel very ugly about my appearance when I look in the mirror. I see a young girl who was badly abused as a child, neglected and tormented. I see a girl who took that hatred and projected it on others as a teenage to try and deal with her afflictions. I see a girl who will carry scars for life and who's heart is damaged by pain caused by others. So please before you judge anyone on solely on their appearance which you are saying has been done to you, could you please consider what that person may feel and think about themselves. I am very overwhelmed when I post a new picture of myself on my profile and receive a lot of compliments from people on my friends list.... which in turn makes me want to run and hide by putting up some other avatar. I am trying to learn to accept a compliment but in my mind I tell myself they are just being kind and trying to encourage me. So really my point here is you just never really know what's going on with another person and their thoughts and feelings on the inside no matter what their external package may convey to you. Yes I find other people's external appearance attractive as much as the next person however I have grown to learn that beauty is really only skin deep as they say and I have the ability to see their souls...... their hearts, their light that shines from with in and that's how I'm able to see their true beauty. How someone interacts with others is a true reflection of their beauty as well so to me that IS SEXY, BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE, HANDSOME and another word you'd care to use.
So I'd like to send you a friends request because I SEE your true beauty...... I hope you'll accept. Fesse xo

DarkAngel864

I would like to reply to this by saying...... I wonder what YOU think of me when you look at my profile picture. Do you say to yourself that she is pretty? Or cute..... or whatever it is you say when you find a girl attractive. Well, maybe you do or maybe you don't which is none the matter. My point here is that I, ME, don't think I'm attractive at all...... I feel very ugly about my appearance when I look in the mirror. I see a young girl who was badly abused as a child, neglected and tormented. I see a girl who took that hatred and projected it on others as a teenage to try and deal with her afflictions. I see a girl who will carry scars for life and who's heart is damaged by pain caused by others. So please before you judge anyone on solely on their appearance which you are saying has been done to you, could you please consider what that person may feel and think about themselves. I am very overwhelmed when I post a new picture of myself on my profile and receive a lot of compliments from people on my friends list.... which in turn makes me want to run and hide by putting up some other avatar. I am trying to learn to accept a compliment but in my mind I tell myself they are just being kind and trying to encourage me. So really my point here is you just never really know what's going on with another person and their thoughts and feelings on the inside no matter what their external package may convey to you. Yes I find other people's external appearance attractive as much as the next person however I have grown to learn that beauty is really only skin deep as they say and I have the ability to see their souls...... their hearts, their light that shines from with in and that's how I'm able to see their true beauty. How someone interacts with others is a true reflection of their beauty as well so to me that IS SEXY, BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE, HANDSOME and another word you'd care to use.
So I'd like to send you a friends request because I SEE your true beauty...... I hope you'll accept. Fesse xo

Beautifully written my sweet Fess, couldn't have said it better!

Voncreepy2

You aren't ugly at all. Don't let people define how you see yourself.

Miss_Chievous_wechange

I would like to reply to this by saying...... I wonder what YOU think of me when you look at my profile picture. Do you say to yourself that she is pretty? Or cute..... or whatever it is you say when you find a girl attractive. Well, maybe you do or maybe you don't which is none the matter. My point here is that I, ME, don't think I'm attractive at all...... I feel very ugly about my appearance when I look in the mirror. I see a young girl who was badly abused as a child, neglected and tormented. I see a girl who took that hatred and projected it on others as a teenage to try and deal with her afflictions. I see a girl who will carry scars for life and who's heart is damaged by pain caused by others. So please before you judge anyone on solely on their appearance which you are saying has been done to you, could you please consider what that person may feel and think about themselves. I am very overwhelmed when I post a new picture of myself on my profile and receive a lot of compliments from people on my friends list.... which in turn makes me want to run and hide by putting up some other avatar. I am trying to learn to accept a compliment but in my mind I tell myself they are just being kind and trying to encourage me. So really my point here is you just never really know what's going on with another person and their thoughts and feelings on the inside no matter what their external package may convey to you. Yes I find other people's external appearance attractive as much as the next person however I have grown to learn that beauty is really only skin deep as they say and I have the ability to see their souls...... their hearts, their light that shines from with in and that's how I'm able to see their true beauty. How someone interacts with others is a true reflection of their beauty as well so to me that IS SEXY, BEAUTIFUL, UNIQUE, HANDSOME and another word you'd care to use.
So I'd like to send you a friends request because I SEE your true beauty...... I hope you'll accept. Fesse xo

Fesse you are truly amazing, inside and out!

phinners

Well even Meatloaf got laid at least once!

prettypain

Joe, i hear you on this one, i dont view myself as others view me...i have plenty of insecurities just like anyone and im not afraid to admit them...... however i think yo should not judge someone until they open thier mouth the second time. the reason i say this is bcuz i have been very nervous talking to people and dont always say the right thing the first time, but then i think, boy way that dumb, and i try again.i think your very wise in what you say and you should be proud of your self for your compassion first!!!! thats one of the qualitis i look for first!! ill fight your zombies with ya!!!