Retarded and Gay

therobinator

The new girl at my work (she's pretty young - about 24 I think - without much experience in office environments) is always using the words "retarded" and "gay" to describe things that she doesn't like.....for example when the printer doesn't have a function she would like, she calls it "gay," or she calls a certain activity "retarded."

How do I kindly bring it to her attention that it's not okay to use these words?

aamb

i would just take her aside and tell her

kjb0976

Or sick Human Resources on her!

igora_soma

I might advise a supervisor of her language and ask them to have a word. My guess is that she probably wouldn't take the confrontation well and I doubt your supervisor would be too happy about her language! Good luck, that must be so irritating!

jpierce8806

I would either speak to your supervisor about it or just tell her that you find it offensive

00trayn

I was in that situation once with two of my friends. One of them called something "gay" in a similar context to the girl you work with and my other friend calmly replied "I don't think that's the word you really mean. Don't you mean stupid, or annoying, or frustrating?" And she corrected herself and we moved on. It wasn't confrontational, it just pointed out that calling something gay or retarded in that sense isn't appropriate or accurate.

Scentlessapprentice

I would tell her outright that it's completely unacceptable. That's just me, I'm pretty blunt and to the point

Atlantique

I might advise a supervisor of her language and ask them to have a word. My guess is that she probably wouldn't take the confrontation well and I doubt your supervisor would be too happy about her language! Good luck, that must be so irritating!

I agree with this. Unless you have a direct role in training/supervising her, it's best to let her supervisor handle it.

bloodbank

The next time she does it, respond with "Yeah, that's so (insert name of race here)!" and when she looks at you just say "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were being *kitten*."

jamielise2

You definitely want to pull her aside and do it privately. Explain to her that you know she doesn't mean anythin by it, but those words are hurtful and ask if she can please find another expression. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it. Like I grew up calling something that had no class or refinement "white trash". I didn't even realize it was racist until I lived on my own.

Huffdogg

Anyone that ignorant should really be thrown directly under the HR bus. Hit her with the full force of your company's anti-harassment policy

rannman1

I would be blunt with her and tell her. Just because she is young does not mean she does not or should not know better. There have been a whole series of tv spots on not using the word gay as a negative. She missed them I assume. She needs to be educated and told that it is offensive to some people for either word to used like that. I think you can be honest without being harsh. Iam nto sure it wil lbe kindly but she needs to know it is unacceptable.

leomom72

tell her straight up you don't like it..don't feel the need to be kind, she obviously doesn't care if she offends others, so be firm..best of luck

mya2012

I would tell her that words she use is offensive.

therobinator

I hesitate to say anything to HR, because she's brand new, and she is a nice person and I like her and don't want to put a black mark on her record. I thought of emailing this link to her with a lilttle note that I thought it was something she should watch. But I don't know if this is the right approach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q

JMM_623_

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/03/03/Campaign-against-retard-enjoys-success/UPI-89761267640747/ (use of the word retard)

http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ (the use of the word "gay")

Kindly forward her some educational information. Hopefully she'll both expand her vocabulary and learn something new

wannabthin4life

Sometimes people don't know something is offensive unless we let them know. Tragically I used to use the word retarded a lot to explain something that was not working right and when someone pulled me aside and told me it offended them and could offend others I understood and felt bad about saying it. now I just say that's Lame! I would not run to HR and turn her in unless u have spoken with her before and it did not work or she was actually calling u those names. I would start by pulling her to the side if that does not work then speak to your supervisor or HR then.

TaekwondoRobbie

Hi :

I have been an office manager for 20 years and I have had similiar situations with staff. Take her aside -- in private ... and mention to her in a professional manner that is not acceptable speak for an office or workplace environment. Taking a professional approach on your part should instill a sense of professionalism in her.

Some people use these vulgar terms very flippantly in their everyday speech and dont even realize their meaning or what they are truly saying in their useage of them. I am sure if you make her aware of it ... it should fix the problem.

Rob

thecanface

i am in HR , you should bring it to her attention first and if she doesnt agree with you, or purposely continues to do it then call a manager, if you are her manager let you manager. you have to realize that once you get in a habit it is hard to stop saying a certain word so i wouldn't attack her with HR, because if she doesnt realize she is saying it that is sort of harsh. once you mention it she will be more aware.

new_me_9_67

I think it's best not to confront her yourself. Bring it up to HR and they can take it from there.
It's not worth it to put yourself in a position where you might be reprimanded for speaking with her if you are not her supervisor.

Aesop101

Her immaturity is showing. By now she should have moved on to WTF and Bastage! Only kidding

Okay, we need an interpreter. This is retarded (I'm dumb). This is Gay (I'm dumb). Only kidding again.

mbowman323

Wow!!! I really DISLIKE when people use those words.
Unless you talk to her all the time like a co-worker "friend" status then talk to her about it.
If you think it's going to lead to a confertation talk to someone who can do something about it

angryguy77

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

Alita2011

You can just say do you mean _____. Like if she says the copier is being retarded. You can say do you mean its not functioning properly? Hopefully she will pick up on it that she is being inappropriate

bigdawg025

I dunno... I'm not offended by it... then again I'm not offended easily, either. Do I think it's appropriate? NO! Do I think it's a huge deal for someone to use those words in a slang sort of context? No. Just me, though.

rorosaw

The next time she does it, respond with "Yeah, that's so (insert name of race here)!" and when she looks at you just say "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were being *kitten*."

This made me laugh out loud!

RoadDog

Or sick Human Resources on her!

Wouldn't you talk to a person first and give them a chance before sicking HR on them?

otr12

I wouldn't do anything.
Save up my energy for dodging sticks and stones.

thecanface

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/03/03/Campaign-against-retard-enjoys-success/UPI-89761267640747/ (use of the word retard)

http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ (the use of the word "gay")

Kindly forward her some educational information. Hopefully she'll both expand her vocabulary and learn something new

this is a good idea. or if you are afraid to confront her yourself, you can ask someone who usually sends out company policy reminders or annnouncments to send an email with these websites because it was important to you. of course without mentioning your coworker.

Alita2011

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

EDesq

If you have a Human Resources Office it may be good to seek out their help and advice. The next best thing is to go to her privately and let her know that her choice of words are insensitive and inappropriate for an office environment. If you don't do it, someone else will and maybe not so diplomatically.