Retarded and Gay

Aesop101

Or sick Human Resources on her!

Wouldn't you talk to a person first and give them a chance before sicking HR on them?

Good lord let me tell you a tale about that. I had been sick and wasn't sleeping well at all. I nodded off for a second. Did the girl ask me if I was okay, nope. Did she go to my manager, nope. She went to another manager. He went to an executive. Then they came to me. Fortunately they only found me working.

kristydi

Get her somewhere alone so you don't embarrass her in front of everyone then say something like.

I think you're doing a great job here at work and have enjoyed working with you so far. But I've noticed that you used the words gay and retarded a lot to describe negative things. I'm sure you don't mean to be offensive, but using language like that can be hurtful to others as well as damaging to your career. There are gay people and people with loved ones who have special needs all over and you never know when they might hear comments like that and take offence. I don't want to embarrass you. but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Like I said, you're doing a great job and I'd hate for a bad habit to cause a problem for you.

Then let her be. It's hard to hear correction sometimes and hopefully she'll be embarrassed by her thoughtlessness.

Starting and ending with something nice usually softens the blow some.

therobinator

People. It's handled. Please calm down. I talked to her. She was appreciative. All I was looking here for was advice on how to talk to this girl to help her not get into trouble for violating rules/laws that are already in effect....I wasn't looking to spark a debate about whether those rules/law should exist in the first place. I truly thank you all for your varied opinions.

Now, can't we all just get along??? (((hugs for everyone)))

Edited for spelling.

jmruef

I hate it when people don't come to me first if I do something to annoy them. You are both supposed to be adults. Talk to her and if she can't handle it or keeps doing it go up the chain of command.

BINGO. I worked in an department full of narcs once upon a time and it SUCKED. The environment was toxic. It's entirely possible she'll respond if you just talk to her face to face.

It's not so much that I'm super-sensitive to people saying those words myself, but I respect other people's rights to be sensitive, and there is such a thing as work place professionalism. I admit I have a potty mouth at home, but I *leave* that at home. I don't act that way at work because...well...I like being employed.

TripleJ3

it's offensive and has always been used to marginalize people, that is what makes it offensive. kind of like dropping any other stereotype that describes one group, anyone familiar with the old N bomb? or calling someone a ****...as if being a vagina is the most horrible thing ever. it is offensive and the OP has every right to be offended.

And here I thought when someone was Gay, it meant they were happy!!

I also find it hilarious when the people who are offeneded by the use of the word *retarded* they suggest you use this word to describe yourself or someone you know. Instead of reusing the word, say my sister is mentally handicapped or whatever.

Put down the torches, she isn't saying those words to purposely harm anybody. While I understand that every single one of you have never in your life used a word or done something that would offend anyone, you could simply say you probably shouldn't use those words in an office environment, you could get yourself in some trouble.

Have you ever turned to a friend and said, That guy is a D***!

My point is we have all said or done something that someone else found offensive. Lots of words are used as different "meanings". I'm not saying this girl is in the right, just saying cut her some slack, be an adult and an example. Don't make a big deal out of it just explain thats not appropriate because it may hit home with some people and offend them.

angryguy77

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

When was a PRINTER gay (in any sense,) or retarded. We have antonyms and synonyms, no one ever said words could not be interchangeable. But when they are used as a SLUR or to imply Inferiority or Hate or used to HURT...what's the point Other than that! We make new words all the time and drop others, when was the last time anyone used Thee? Now we have "Frienamenies." Why not say "Mentally Challenged," why not say Downs Syndrome instead of "mongoloid." Can't we GROW! People know mean and hate speech, this is a western society and we have our "Norms." That "Crap" just won't fly in certain environments anymore; there are certain people in society who have moved up based on "fear" and they want to keep the OLD stuff because they can stay in charge. They are Neanderthals and they want to live in the past and want everyone else to follow BACK. GUESS what, there is NO going back...the Back ways HURT a LOT of People, there is NEVER anything wrong with Respecting others.

You're right this is the West. And we used to not have thought police who told us what was acceptable and what was not.

tell me did you have as much anger toward Obama when he said this about Pennsylvanians?

"You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it’s not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations".


Here's a news flash.....not everyone is a racist who doesn't speak in a PC acceptable way. Not everyone is out to get you. Maybe life would be a little happier if you calm down and accept there are different point of views and have an open mind.

EDesq

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

OMG, what world are you guys living in...The good old days, when "Jim Crow" and segregation was alive and well or when the frontal lobotomy was in vogue or when women had to take abuse in silence because she had no options.

I know right, if someone says "gay" we should beat the crap out of them for being a Jim Crow. GMAFB

Why you cut off my quote...You don't even "get" it, OOPS you DO. When was the last time you abused your wife?

Stop with that. You are making unfair judgments with no evidence to back it up. You are just assuming he's a certain way. Isn't that what caused so much trouble for this country in the past?

What is offensive is being labeled because you don't conform with a certain group think. Casting judgment will do far more harm than words could ever hope.

NO YOU Stop! Casting "judgments" of inferiority IS how this country started and progressed. That same mentality is still pervasive among "Certain" people. A BIGOT is a BIGOT...they don't stop at ONE Hatred. But relative to the OP statement about the girl...I just think she is IGNORANT like many young people, and they will stay that way until they are educated.

Why should I calm down...maybe you should chill out. The world has always changed, people have always grown. What was in-vogue 30, 50, 100... years ago, is no longer. This world is NOT stepping back and Haters don't get a pass!

BabyDuchess

<<<<<< I'm still gay because today I broke through the 50 lb barrier! Yay! So one might say, I'm extremely gay! :flowerforyou:

lilRicki

Don't explain squat! She's a big girl now, with a big girl job...next time she says something that stupid look at her and say "cut it out, stop using that language"...and walk away

BEERRUNNER

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Dee1006

I am pretty sure i would not rat her out to the bosses. Say something yourself. I have a niece who does this and know that she does with no ill will towards anyone and that certain expressions too easily become the norm and it might only have to be brought to the persons attention. I fear we have become a word police society and people are way too sensitive. I hold freedom of thought and expression in high regard, but not hate.

rorosaw

I"m wondering how long it will take before this thread is locked. I'm surprised it's still open.

mommared53

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

Not at my office. :laugh:

EDesq

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