Retarded and Gay

mbowman323

Wow!!! I really DISLIKE when people use those words.
Unless you talk to her all the time like a co-worker "friend" status then talk to her about it.
If you think it's going to lead to a confertation talk to someone who can do something about it

angryguy77

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

Alita2011

You can just say do you mean _____. Like if she says the copier is being retarded. You can say do you mean its not functioning properly? Hopefully she will pick up on it that she is being inappropriate

bigdawg025

I dunno... I'm not offended by it... then again I'm not offended easily, either. Do I think it's appropriate? NO! Do I think it's a huge deal for someone to use those words in a slang sort of context? No. Just me, though.

rorosaw

The next time she does it, respond with "Yeah, that's so (insert name of race here)!" and when she looks at you just say "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were being *kitten*."

This made me laugh out loud!

RoadDog

Or sick Human Resources on her!

Wouldn't you talk to a person first and give them a chance before sicking HR on them?

otr12

I wouldn't do anything.
Save up my energy for dodging sticks and stones.

thecanface

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2010/03/03/Campaign-against-retard-enjoys-success/UPI-89761267640747/ (use of the word retard)

http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/ (the use of the word "gay")

Kindly forward her some educational information. Hopefully she'll both expand her vocabulary and learn something new

this is a good idea. or if you are afraid to confront her yourself, you can ask someone who usually sends out company policy reminders or annnouncments to send an email with these websites because it was important to you. of course without mentioning your coworker.

Alita2011

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

EDesq

If you have a Human Resources Office it may be good to seek out their help and advice. The next best thing is to go to her privately and let her know that her choice of words are insensitive and inappropriate for an office environment. If you don't do it, someone else will and maybe not so diplomatically.

HollyMcCaw

Maybe just politely tell her that she probably shouldn't say those kind of things that it could get her into trouble. She probably doesn't even realize that she's saying it. Especially if she's younger...I am 26 and when I was in highschool my teachers would say that something was "retarded" it seems to be a casual way of speaking now a days. Not the I agree with it...because I don't. But I guarantee she isn't intending on offending anybody

PirateJenny

Definitely point it out. My partner had to do the same thing after starting as a supervisor in a new department.

I think 00trayn has a great suggestion with, "I don't think that's the word you really mean. Don't you mean stupid, or annoying, or frustrating?" It gives the person a chance to change their behavior and does not "shame" them, reducing the risk of putting them on the defensive.

However, if that does not work it is appropriate to point out that the language is unacceptable in the workplace and she could be at risk of a formal complaint to human resources.

I am so glad to hear you are concerned about this. You just made my day.

therobinator

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

It's not that I am sensitive. It's that there *are* gay people here in this office, and in a past office of mine there were people with mentally retarded siblings. It's not offensive to me personally, but to others it would be....and I don't want her to get into a situation with HR just because she's young and stupid. I am more trying to help her, not get her busted.

amysj303

I hesitate to say anything to HR, because she's brand new, and she is a nice person and I like her and don't want to put a black mark on her record. I thought of emailing this link to her with a lilttle note that I thought it was something she should watch. But I don't know if this is the right approach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T549VoLca_Q

If she's young, new, you like her and she's nice then I think you could tell her yourself without going to HR, just bring it to her attention-say, you may not realize how offensive this is... I am kinda surprised because it seems like something she would realize, but you could tell, I thought I would tell you before you get someone from HR putting a black mark on your record for this...

allisoncook87

Tell her you have a family member that's gay and one that's retarded, at different times when she uses it. It will make her feel so completely ignorant she will never use them again, around you or anyone else

ShellyMacchi

i've been in that situation too...
and i simply told her right then, politely, that using what would be seen by many to be deragatory or discriminatory words such as those is actually socially unacceptable, especially in a work environment, so while at work she may wish to chose different words.

and i did not take her aside in private to say it, as she spoke in public, and anyone nearby who might have also found that inappropriate OR who felt it was perfectly ok, needed (i felt) to hear that someone WAS going to speak up and say what needed to be said.

she immediately apologized, (so others could still hear) and said she knew she needed to watch herself with those words, it was a habit she was trying to break and sometimes they slipped out, so thanked me for the reminder.

Hope the situation goes as well for you.. but if it is an ongoing situation you do need voice a formal complaint to your HR department. It is completely unacceptable behaviour.

thecanface

I dunno... I'm not offended by it... then again I'm not offended easily, either. Do I think it's appropriate? NO! Do I think it's a huge deal for someone to use those words in a slang sort of context? No. Just me, though.

yeah, a lot of people aren't easily offended. i am one of them, but then there are people who are... especially if they know or are related to someone who has a mental disability, or are bisexual. it can hit close to home if someone is using those words in a negative way ya know?

PeachyKeene

I would tell her outright that it's completely unacceptable. That's just me, I'm pretty blunt and to the point

me, too.

Aesop101

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

Amen!!

asudheimer

That is thoughtful of you to consider her feelings... seems as though she doesn't mean to be offensive, that's just part of my generations slang vocabulary thanks to ignorance. Maybe email her a link to this site:

http://www.r-word.org/

I spread it around my office as there was and still are several people who use that word where I work. And maybe shoot her an IM or email with it saying "Just wanted to let you know that some people consider the use of those words offensive, wanted to let you know before someone who would turn you in to HR hears." To the point, without you seeming arrogant.