Retarded and Gay

angryguy77

Tell what that has to do with race. To be honest, I find it completely disrespectful to the battle black americans had to go through when people equate the word "gay" to a racial slur or to that of women and equal rights.

I find it admirable that the op is looking out for this girl. His intentions are good and I don't have a beef with his reasoning.
However, it's getting to the point where we are going to sterilize our language so much that people will be in constant fear of offending someone. It's giving certain groups more rights than others and that is counter productive to the progress we've made in this country.

ChantalGG

When i was a teen we would use those words, realizing how offensive it was i stopped long ago but my mother and step mother actually use these words still and they are almost 60. my mom has used retardede when we were or before describing a situation. it was embarrassing. :S

nehtaeh

I find it funny how people get in such arguments over other people's forum replies. Isn't the point for us to answer the person who asked for help with our own opinion and best solution that we personally feel would help..and then let that person decide which works best for them? Not argue with other people who are offering advice because you don't agree with them?

I do not mean for this to start more arguing. It was just something I have noticed in a lot of forums

I don't have a problem with it...its a conversation. OP asked for something and people give advice. Others can have input on whether the advice is good or not.

In the real world it would be like being in a room of people and one person asks a questions, looking for responses - but you are only allowed to respond to that one person, not to anyone else. Weird.

heathersmilez

Or sick Human Resources on her!

I like this plan!

Nyirishlass

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

foxyforce

3 pages of replies and I am sure you got good answers

tell her:

your language is oppressive and margnalizes people who are gay, people who are living with intellectual/developmental disabilities!! inappropriate!

AngelsKisses75

Most HR people are well trained in how to handle this sort of shall we call it a 'faux'pas' with in specific guidelines for your workplace. It could simply be she is not aware that what she is saying could create a bigger issue than a paper jam. So in my opinion I would say talk to HR about this. Last thing you would want is someone from HR coming to you because you were trying to do the right thing and upset her. Good luck with this. :flowerforyou:

angryguy77

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

This

sarah44254

I would really like to see some of you stop referring to her actions like they are caused by her age. Her age has nothing to do with her remarks. If she is ignorant of the effects of her language it makes no difference whether she is 8, 28, or 88. No reason to treat her differently because she is 'young'. She is part of the office and must follow the protocol followed by any other member.

VanessaFaulkner

As a mother of a daughter who is developmentally delayed with special needs it really irritates me to hear someone speak with such little compassion. I'd simply ask her if she word use the word "retarded" so easily if she personally KNEW a close loved one with needs, or if she'd use the word "gay" if she or someone close were same sex oriented. Now days its politically incorrect to be so loose with words.

BabyDuchess

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

angryguy77

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

EDesq

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

OMG, what world are you guys living in...The good old days, when "Jim Crow" and segregation was alive and well or when the frontal lobotomy was in vogue or when women had to take abuse in silence because she had no options.

I know right, if someone says "gay" we should beat the crap out of them for being a Jim Crow. GMAFB

Why you cut off my quote...You don't even "get" it, OOPS you DO. When was the last time you abused your wife?

thumper44

You like her, she's young. It's simple.
Talk to her, and tell her.

edit: When I say she's young, i'm using "young" referencing her lack of experience in an office environment.
She obviously can't talk like she's hanging with her gals, at school.... LIke Oh My God,

TripleJ3

And here I thought when someone was Gay, it meant they were happy!!

I also find it hilarious when the people who are offeneded by the use of the word *retarded* they suggest you use this word to describe yourself or someone you know. Instead of reusing the word, say my sister is mentally handicapped or whatever.

Put down the torches, she isn't saying those words to purposely harm anybody. While I understand that every single one of you have never in your life used a word or done something that would offend anyone, you could simply say you probably shouldn't use those words in an office environment, you could get yourself in some trouble.

BabyDuchess

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

shefly

I was in that situation once with two of my friends. One of them called something "gay" in a similar context to the girl you work with and my other friend calmly replied "I don't think that's the word you really mean. Don't you mean stupid, or annoying, or frustrating?" And she corrected herself and we moved on. It wasn't confrontational, it just pointed out that calling something gay or retarded in that sense isn't appropriate or accurate.

I agree

angryguy77

I wouldn't be so sensitive, realize she is not intending things as a personal attack and allow people to live their life. We have become way to thin skinned in this society. Can't say boo without someones feeling getting hurt and them running to mom.

I agree with this! However there is certain etiquette that is required in an office environment...

OMG, what world are you guys living in...The good old days, when "Jim Crow" and segregation was alive and well or when the frontal lobotomy was in vogue or when women had to take abuse in silence because she had no options.

I know right, if someone says "gay" we should beat the crap out of them for being a Jim Crow. GMAFB

Why you cut off my quote...You don't even "get" it, OOPS you DO. When was the last time you abused your wife?

Stop with that. You are making unfair judgments with no evidence to back it up. You are just assuming he's a certain way. Isn't that what caused so much trouble for this country in the past?

What is offensive is being labeled because you don't conform with a certain group think. Casting judgment will do far more harm than words could ever hope.

foxyforce

it's offensive and has always been used to marginalize people, that is what makes it offensive. kind of like dropping any other stereotype that describes one group, anyone familiar with the old N bomb? or calling someone a ****...as if being a vagina is the most horrible thing ever. it is offensive and the OP has every right to be offended.

And here I thought when someone was Gay, it meant they were happy!!

I also find it hilarious when the people who are offeneded by the use of the word *retarded* they suggest you use this word to describe yourself or someone you know. Instead of reusing the word, say my sister is mentally handicapped or whatever.

Put down the torches, she isn't saying those words to purposely harm anybody. While I understand that every single one of you have never in your life used a word or done something that would offend anyone, you could simply say you probably shouldn't use those words in an office environment, you could get yourself in some trouble.

SkinnyCate

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Comments like this add such a sour note to an otherwise amazing, supportive, kind site. Bummer.

peteyTwang

this was my first response too... but I think I'd rather go with

don't you mean.... "THAT"S SO TAKEI" ???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRkIWB3HIEs&feature=player_embedded

Tell her that you are both gay and retarded

syates83

Honestly, I don't think she means to be offensive. Probably a bad habit she's been repeating without even thinking, kind of like word vomit if you will. I would discretely take her aside and tell her that those words are very offensive to yourself and other members of your office and not only that they are extremely unprofessional. Throwing her over to HR might be a little extreme. Give her a chance, let her correct her habit and learn!

mkcalvert

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

Best!!

SkinnyCate

Also if you didn't know, gay means homosexual so therefore by calling something BAD "gay" you're in turn saying it's bad to be gay. You seemed a little confused as to why those words used in such a way are indeed offensive to most humans with half a heart. Same goes with "retarded".

vampymegs

IMHO, it's not particularly offensive to me if someone uses those words, though I'm not retarded or gay. However I do have friends that are gay and friends that are diagnosed as mildly mentally retarded and they don't get offended when I use those words (gay is not something I use as colloquial language, retarded is though). I do agree the office is no place for such language and I'd have to problem letting this person know that they may want to tone it down some.

angryguy77

Also if you didn't know, gay means homosexual so therefore by calling something BAD "gay" you're in turn saying it's bad to be gay. You seemed a little confused as to why those words used in such a way are indeed offensive to most humans with half a heart. Same goes with "retarded".

Intent and context cannot be ignored. For example, would you equate a black person using the 'N' word as a greeting with how the clan might use it in a meeting?

schninie82

I'd give her a slap!

dbower18

Absolutely . Get her fired and make sure she never works again if you can. We all have to be vigilant in stamping out this type of behavior so that can all learn to be more civil and tolerant.

EDesq

I am curious do you love the trees and kill the babies, do you drive a prius because of global warming....someone told you it isnt right to say those words so now every is offended....HELLO think for yourselves and stop being political correct, our government is telling you all what to say and think and eat and drink and you just go along with it....How about all of you think for yourselves and let people be themselves. Stop being so offended by words that didnt mean something wrong until someone told you it wasnt politically correct. Now when you are all writing your hate mail and how mean and rude and nasty I am remember you just fell into the same category as that girl with your "hateful" words. Have a great day : )

Concur......Gay used to mean happy until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive if used in the wrong context. Retarded used to mean delay or impede until it was turned into a slang and then it became offensive. I personally have taken the word gay back! I'm gay......I'm happy! Period. :flowerforyou:

Stop making sense

When was a PRINTER gay (in any sense,) or retarded. We have antonyms and synonyms, no one ever said words could not be interchangeable. But when they are used as a SLUR or to imply Inferiority or Hate or used to HURT...what's the point Other than that! We make new words all the time and drop others, when was the last time anyone used Thee? Now we have "Frienamenies." Why not say "Mentally Challenged," why not say Downs Syndrome instead of "mongoloid." Can't we GROW! People know mean and hate speech, this is a western society and we have our "Norms." That "Crap" just won't fly in certain environments anymore; there are certain people in society who have moved up based on "fear" and they want to keep the OLD stuff because they can stay in charge. They are Neanderthals and they want to live in the past and want everyone else to follow BACK. GUESS what, there is NO going back...the Back ways HURT a LOT of People, there is NEVER anything wrong with Respecting others.

hazelnutflav

when people say things that offend me or i think is not appropiate for the work place or any place for that matter i call them by their name, use direct eye contact and ask them in a very calm maller "why did you use that word?" and you kow what they usually say "i dont know or i didnt mean anything by it" its quite possable you are the first person to call her out on it and now that you have she will be more mindful of the words and stop using them at least around you.

also because she is young she maybe so usto saying those words around her friends and none of them ever call her out on it she may think its perfectly fine to say it.

i would tell her how i feel about it give her time to adjust then if she keeps it up then i would adv mgmt.

i think this is a plain old case of ignorance.