Who is MFP for?

smileyface45

BULLS*&T

Bermudabarbie

Bump for review.

Unknown

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suzycreamcheese

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Just out of interest. If you had a teenage doughter who was anorexic/bulimic, and she didnt eat anything all dey, would you say "well done darling, you've achieved your goal", and when her muscle tissue was dissapering, as there was no more fat on her, would you say "dont worry darling, eat something WHENEVER YOU'RE READY"? It doesnt matter that they are very slowly dying? There shouldnt be any ana.mia pro-supportive sites, because it shouldnt be supported.
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Of course not, im her mother, but im not YOUR mother, or anyone on this sites mother, so dont expect to have to parent you and dont really appreciate other random people trying to parent and patronise me either thanks.
If i want help i will ask for it, and if i dont want help - well im sorry, theres nothing you can do. You can forcefeed an anorexic and she will gain weight, but she wont be recovered. You can stop a bulimic from throwing up her food, but you havent cured her. Youve just taken away her coping mechanism.

You are probably very right :sad: It's just very hard to watch, or to turn around saying 'Its not my concern'

It must be VERY difficult to watch someone you love struggle with a serious eating disorder. I imagine it must be a very helpless frustrating and upsetting feeling.

I do also think sometimes people make a mountain out of a molehill though and there are a hell of a lot of people with disordered eating habits, and body image problems, and whilst its not ideal, its not life threatening, yet as soon as you call it an ED people panic

AlwaysWanderer

No, but I also wouldn't tell her that looking at her makes me want to vomit in my own mouth. I also wouldn't judge her, criticize her, call her stupid, tell her that she is vain and all those other things that the thinner girls on MFP sometimes get. I would love her, support her as best as I could and always be there when she needed. And I wouldn't force feed her unless her life was in immediate danger because that would just make her hate food, and me, more.

Maybe you should take a proper look at the pro ana sites. They are mainly about connecting with those that understand how you feel. Yes, there are the ones written by younger girls that are full of ana's creed and tips and purging, but the vast majority are just a safe place to talk about how you really feel. The ones that give tips on purging and hiding your ED and encourage you to worship anorexia like a god are extremely dangerous for young girls, I absolutely agree. But the ones that are just safe place to talk without judgement... What's wrong with that? If my daughter visited these sites to find support and understanding (NOT tips and tricks though) I'd allow it. Under my supervision, of course.

I wish there was a 'like' button.
And I've never suggested to

tell her that looking at her makes me want to vomit in my own mouth. I also wouldn't judge her, criticize her, call her stupid, tell her that she is vain and all those other things that the thinner girls on MFP sometimes get.

I know you didn't say that, sorry, that was referring to a post I made earlier where someone actually did say that. I didn't mean you

Also... Does that mean you agree...?

:flowerforyou: I agree with everything you said. The sites I meant were the ones who encouraged, not supported. People with ED need all support they can get, even more from people who understand what they are going through. I just dont like people promoting ED as the quickest way to lose weight.

LuckyLeprechaun

MFP is a tool, to help us achieve our goals. Like any tool, it can be misused. If someone is choosing unhealthy things for their body, they are going to do so whether MFP existed or not. A screwdriver is a good and useful tool for removing screws. It can also be used to gouge out your eye.

If you don't like what someone is doing or saying, unfriend them, and interact with others. The internet, the world, they have this one thing in common: you are only in charge of your own words and actions. Nothing else is under your control. Do your best. That's all you can do.

prettypain

i have to whole heartedly agee with Big Beaver and Zebrahead, this site is so much more to so many people. for people with an eating disorder, its a tool to help take control of their lives and get the support from wonderful friends who genuinally seem to care about what they are going through! For people that are trying to lose weight, this is a great tool to count calories, keep track of food intake and exercise, and get support from, again, great people who care and can understand. For people who just want to get toned, for what ever the reason, via healthy look, or a triathalon, marathon,which is my reason for being here. i found some of the most amazing people i will ever know, who gave me the support i needed to keep working toward my goal, when NOBODY in my day to day life, friends or family, with the exception of one very special person in my life, would do!!

Jeff, have you ever been told by every one in you life that you can't achieve the one thing you want most in your life. well guess what, i have and i have found that this site and my friends have become my HOME, my safe place where i get the encourgement and support to keep me working on being fit, healthy, eating better, and working towards a better way of life!

So before you make the decision that this is a site for just overweight people, why dont you think twice about judging what others need and goals are! This sitehas also become a release for stress which for your information is again a way to be healthier!

This is a site to become healthy, what every the goal, lose weight,gain weight, maintain weight, tone, and above all get the support from "FAMILY" because thats how ive come to view many of my friends here, because they are here for me when others that should be in my "real life" arent. .

to all my "family" on here...I thank you for your love and suppory every step of the way that you give me in reaching my goals.!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!


My last thought to people like Jeff is if you want a site for just weight loss and for people losing weight, join Jenny Craig!!!!

That is all.......

I LOVE YOU GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

MeliciousMelis

Self improvement is an all encompassing term....and MFP is a phenomenal vehicle. To limit the experience by placing a box around its users actually defeats its purpose. It is for everyone....the skinny, the fat, the healthy, and the unhealthy. It is for the ones who have never felt the acceptance of peer support, and the ones who have so much support to give. Its for the ones who don't feel confident enough to yes, flirt a little, and the ones who see the beauty in ALL shapes and sizes. It's for the newbies who don't know a thing about nutrition and exercise, and for the educators who are willing to share their knowledge.

THANK GOODNESS.

Unknown

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LuckyLeprechaun

This site is for people who try to get healthy. Not all of them are. Only today I've seen couple of profiles, first - girl who is already underweight - 159cm with a UG of 41kg. With a profile post - hunger hurts, but starving is the way to go!
Second, girl at 110lbs was debating how to get back to being anorexic, cz bulimia wasnt that good for her teeth, and anyways, she just loves that empty feeling in her stomach. She only wants to lose another 10lbs or so. She wants to be THIN and beautiful. Not healthy and beautiful. THIN.
So, are you saying that this site is for them, too? Its like a whole group that encourages ED. MFP was not made for that.

I do agree with this. I do not think the site was created to be used as an ED tool. When I see things like a girl who wishes she had no shadow, I shake my head and hope she doesn't kill herself trying to be ever thinner. However, I realize that my thoughts on the matter are pretty irrelevant. Even if I knew that person in real life, even if she were my loved one and I desperately wanted to stop her from killing herself, the truth is, I do not have that power. Nobody has the power to change the behaviors and choices others make. And I have experienced enough of life to learn that the thing you fight against the hardest is often brought about simply because you fought it so hard.

Is MFP misused by some pro-ana-mia folks? Probably. Do I like that? Not so much. Can I change it? Nope. Therefore...on to the part of my life that I do have power to control...me. Only.



ETA:

The truth is, no matter how nicely you say that you wish they won't kill themselves, they are so defensive they won't even read the rest of your comment. If they are determined to kill themselves, MFP is just one of the tools they will use.

rybo

I didn't read much past the original post, but unless I am blind or have an unrealistic view of "skinny", I don't recall seeing many, if any at all, pictures of "anorexic" girls on this site. Typically it's either fit looking people, or larger folks looking to slim down. Sometimes I really feel it is far more of a weightloss site, than an actual fitness site. (Not that the 2 have to be exclusive)

I suppose I shold qualify that statement because I do spend most of my time in running or exercising threads and not so much in the should I starve myself ones, maybe that is why I don't see it?

rybo

oops
hit the button twice

Starleng1

GOOD LORD !!!!! Can't we all just get along !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone on here nedds to worry about thier own reasons they came to this site and NOT why someone else did !!! If you are concentrating on your own weight loss then you shouldnt have time to worry about some one else !~~

I have made such great friends on this site and have gotten more support from strangers than I have ever gotten from home ! SO with that being said I LOVE ALL MY CURRENT MFP PALS AND WELCOME NEW ONES !!!!!!! :drinker: :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:

I second this. Everyone has theur reason and it really isn't our place to question. Apparently if we are on this site, it means that we need support for something.

doughnutwretch

Regardless of a persons size, having a tool like this and the support of all it's members is good for every person. The fact that some people are here may seem "too small" may be a good thing because this site can teach them healthy habits and what their healthy weight is. This site is designed for people of all ages, shapes, sizes and needs. Some use it to lose weight and slim down, some use it to gain weight and bulk up. Don't discriminate.

LuckyLeprechaun

Thank you Mike, for creating MFP, for everyone.

I wish you all the best, and I hope your journeys all end in fitness.

If you starve yourselves out of existence, and leave behind an emaciated skeleton like Karen Carpenter, that's up to you. I hope you won't, it would be a tremendous shame.

eeeekie

I think he asked a great question. He was really just trying to get an answer to a question that was on his mind and if you noticed he did say he was not trying to offend anyone but just wanted to know was the site intended for one type or for all. I agree with most of the comments on here that its for everyone to become healthier and not to get as skinny as possible and most of you all were respectful with your response except for one person. I won't call out the name but if you don't like his question or the post remember you dont have to read or respond to it. This is a place to help and encourage and you really just defeated the whole purpose of the site. He had a question... exactly what the forum is for. I found some great answers on here so thanks for asking the question and thanks all for the resonses! This was very interesting to read

I totally get where everyone is coming from...MFP is everyone, I totally agree.

However, can we honestly say it is not disturbing to occasionally see people with goals in the 90 lbs range or who seem to be in favor of being thinner than is healthy? (Edit: I am talking about people who are PRO ED, not just recovering/struggling). I have very mixed feeling about the idea that ALL should be welcome and encouraged when it comes to that. It is about health and I think we all need to keep track of that with both accountability AND non-judgement.

Not easy though, is it?

^ well said.

I think what he means is coming across profiles that are not here to better themselves, get healthy or attempt at all to get help. There are a lot of profiles with profile taglines like "Hunger hurts, but starving works" "eat less feel thin" "love the empty feeling in my stomach." "If i eat I won't stop, so instead I eat nothing" "I live to be model thin" ..etc, pictures of emaciated women as their thinspiration which aids them in not eating. They also in another attempt to not get healthy mind, body, soul...end up surrounding themselves with like-minded individuals. It can be concerning when you see groups of girls (school age girls mostly) who weigh 95lbs (goal to weight 89lbs), consume less than a healthy amount of calories, view food as evil & bones (the more bones that show) good. I don't think discrimination should be placed on people who are trying to get healthy...mind, body and spirit. We all have an eating disorder in some way, shape or form. If you're overweight, obese, fat, skinny, anorexic, here to tone, healthy, fit...everyone should be welcomed but it is hard to see those groups of girls who are encouraging others not to eat to aspire to be everything but healthy.

chuisle

Regardless of a persons size, having a tool like this and the support of all it's members is good for every person. The fact that some people are here may seem "too small" may be a good thing because this site can teach them healthy habits and what their healthy weight is. This site is designed for people of all ages, shapes, sizes and needs. Some use it to lose weight and slim down, some use it to gain weight and bulk up. Don't discriminate.

Be careful here...it's not about being "small" people with serious EDs are not just someone who wishes to small but whose health is in danger from a serious behavioral/mental disorder.

Agree that we should not discriminate or judge but I am uncomfortable with using "too small" and ED together. Hopefully this sight teaches healthy habits. I think for 95% of people, it does. But for someone who is suffering from an ED it can be a trigger or encouraging.

That said, I still agree with most everything being said. Just wanted to point out that the small words we use can have a big connotation and indicate misunderstandings of the condition and how to communicate about it.

(disclosure: I recovered from a ED myself)

123456654321

I haven't read through the 7 pages of responses yet, but this site is a tool everyone and anyone no matter what their goals are. If you look at the setup there is an option for weight loss, maintaining, and also weight GAIN. So some of the small people you see may even be here with the goal to gain weight. Either way, it's not for any of us to judge, even if people are using this site in an unhealthy way. Unless people are posting misinformation on the main forum that could hurt others, it's no one else's business. Not trying to come down on your for making this post, I'm sure you posted it with good intentions, but we just can't dictate everyone's personal health choices. Best thing you can do is do is be a good example and provide encouragement for all the people you can.

eeeekie

double post.

doughnutwretch

Regardless of a persons size, having a tool like this and the support of all it's members is good for every person. The fact that some people are here may seem "too small" may be a good thing because this site can teach them healthy habits and what their healthy weight is. This site is designed for people of all ages, shapes, sizes and needs. Some use it to lose weight and slim down, some use it to gain weight and bulk up. Don't discriminate.

Be careful here...it's not about being "small" people with serious EDs are not just someone who wishes to small but whose health is in danger from a serious behavioral/mental disorder.

Agree that we should not discriminate or judge but I am uncomfortable with using "too small" and ED together. Hopefully this sight teaches healthy habits. I think for 95% of people, it does. But for someone who is suffering from an ED it can be a trigger or encouraging.

That said, I still agree with most everything being said. Just wanted to point out that the small words we use can have a big connotation and indicate misunderstandings of the condition and how to communicate about it.

(disclosure: I recovered from a ED myself)

Pretty sure I said NOTHING about any eating disorders. I said this site may be BENEFITIAL to those who are too thin because they can learn a lot from other people and help teach them better habits. Where in that statement was I crossing a line? That's right, I wasn't...

KeriA

I suspect that when I reach my goal weight and am much slimmer than I am I will still be on here trying to stay that way and to continue to be and get healthier. I do not want or expect to be very thin just healthy. I think MFP is for everyone but I feel uncomfortable being in situations where I see people not getting enough nutrition. I want to be supportive equally to all my pals. I feel that we are not suppose to be perfect but just trying to improve. So it is not just for everyone it is also fine for someone to say that we do not have to be too skinny to be healthy and beautiful and post it on these boards. This place is for skinny people trying to gain and people like me trying to lose and those who aren't trying to change their weight but want to be fitter and healthier. It isn't a dating service but I know I really care about my pals and I can see how more could happen for those unattached. Yes MFP should be accepting of any thing that is healthy or trying to be healthy and if we arent there yet we do not want to be enabling unheathy behavior yet we want to be supportive. That isn't always that easy to do. So lets not be so judgemental of someone who is having a hard time sorting it all out and being honest about it. I do not drop friends on here that disapear for months at a time but I have finally started to delete those that are here promoting their blogs and don't ever support me with a comment of encouragement. I have friends that are thinner than me or closer to their goals. Some that have lost have alot to give to others. So maybe that will be another reason to be here when I have lost the weight. However I do not think I will ever have too skinny a picture on here not only because I don't really want to be too skinny but I do not think it would be very thoghtful of others here. However if I was too skinny and trying to gain I think it is supportive by being honest about who I am. I am willing to support anyone trying to get healthy but it is hard to know what to do when you feel like you are being asked to enable those who aren't. It doesn't happen just with those that are too thin it happens withthose that are trying to lose too. So I am all for someone saying you don't have to be super thin to be beautiful I think it is true. I think it is supportive of those that are too thin and not and for those who are just right it should let you know that you are beautiful just the way your are. I wish some of my friends on here knew how beautiful they are in my eyes.

chuisle

Pretty sure I said NOTHING about any eating disorders. I said this site may be BENEFITIAL to those who are too thin because they can learn a lot from other people and help teach them better habits. Where in that statement was I crossing a line? That's right, I wasn't...

That's true...I wasn't attacking! Sorry if I misunderstood just in the context of the last several pages of posts the conversation has shifted towards EDs (not just people are thin, etc.) so that was my mindset.

I think its a valid point for us all to remember and I didn't mean to imply you were out of line at all. I just hate to see the two conflated in general, even if you weren't doing that.

Edit: Sometimes we need to decide if we're having a conversation or argument. I am truly just trying to talk about something I think is important, I don't mean to attack anyone in my posts.

Ms_Natalie

Okay guys, this thread will now be locked. There have been numerous reports regarding offensive topic content and it also appears to have run its course. For future reference...if someone posts something which you find offensive, then do NOT post in retaliation...please just report the post and the moderators will look into it.

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Ms_Natalie

MyFitnessPal Forum Moderator. :flowerforyou: