Venting and Kind of Being a Jerk, Sorry...

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  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    Oh my. Yes. You apparently started it!

    I've been fat... I was 218 and wearing a size 22 at 5'6". I was 41% body fat according to the Navy.

    Thanks to a move across the country, no one where I live has known me as "fat".

    They know me as 150-135-145. (when I moved here, I was 150, I got down to 135, now I am am sitting at about 145). I am about 18% body fat now, wearing a size 6.

    THESE people only know me as the thin person obsessed with her eating patterns and jogging. They say snide things when I talk about needing to hit the gym, eat healthier, etc.

    I know what it's like to be on both sides, someone viewed as slim and wanting to remain as such, complaining about my flabby skin (which is from bearing my 3 precious children) and as someone who *LOVES* to eat and can't seem to stop.

    I'm with YOU...

    It boils down to choices and self control. And I tell you what: I like myself a LOT more now than I did 75-80#s ago.
  • Andythefitfamilyman
    Andythefitfamilyman Posts: 420
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    Me two cents, I think everyone has the right to vent and to debate. That being said I'm here to support the fat/skinny people trying for a better healthier life style like me. Oh and I love pancake head bunny he will be missed
  • damcool
    damcool Posts: 97 Member
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    I never thought that this would be such a big debate. On my end, I want to clear the air. I absolutely do not hate skinny or fat people!! I mean, if I did, wear does that leave me? I guess what I'm frustrated with is needy people. I am a strong, confident (most of the time) woman. I see and know how it feels to be fat and skinny, but not happy with what I see. My complaint is that I had a friend on MFP that was 100 lbs and CONSTANTLY was on there fishing for compliments. She went on there within hours saying that she was going out to lunch at a burger joint, then posted how fat she was. Are you kidding??? I have another friend on Mfp, that she constantly posts all of the McDonald's she eats and how she knows she needs to get back on track, but I don't know if she's ever been on track! I only posted this because I really do care about people doing what needs to be done to better their lives!!! I don't look at weight for the most part. My point was, Skinny or Fat, psychology is needed to make us whole, well rounded individuals...
  • BriannaStrum
    BriannaStrum Posts: 1
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    I totally agree with you!!! I think it is stupid for people to be posting on here that you shouldn't care about how they loose weight, or why they want to or what their struggles are because they wouldn't have joined this website and made friends if that wasn't what they were looking for. Well they found the support they need and you gave it them. I say for those people out there. If it doesn't aply to you then ignore it. If it does and you notice that you just might be doing it because lets face it some people are on here just for attention, then you can choose to fix it or just ignore it. Don't let it bother you. It doesn't mean you have to judge Damcool because she noticed something about people from her point of view! I am so glad that she is my friend because is a wonderful support system and she does know a lot of what she is talking about because look at her results. She has lost over 70 pounds. She supports me in my greatness and calls me out in my crap. We all have crap. Luggage that we carry around for whatever reason and we use it to make excuses about how we can't do things right or we have to do things a certain way because that's just the way we are instead of saying "Hey I do do that. Hmmmm....Do I like that I do that? I guess not. Well now I can work on changing it to the way I want because I am a fighter, I CAN do this and I will."


    I also what to say thank you to Damcool because if she wouldn't have become my friend I never would have known how she lost her weight. Now I am doing what she does and I have lost 7 pounds so far. But I still have a lot more to go.
  • KickassYas
    KickassYas Posts: 397 Member
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    I never thought that this would be such a big debate. On my end, I want to clear the air. I absolutely do not hate skinny or fat people!! I mean, if I did, wear does that leave me? I guess what I'm frustrated with is needy people. I am a strong, confident (most of the time) woman. I see and know how it feels to be fat and skinny, but not happy with what I see. My complaint is that I had a friend on MFP that was 100 lbs and CONSTANTLY was on there fishing for compliments. She went on there within hours saying that she was going out to lunch at a burger joint, then posted how fat she was. Are you kidding??? I have another friend on Mfp, that she constantly posts all of the McDonald's she eats and how she knows she needs to get back on track, but I don't know if she's ever been on track! I only posted this because I really do care about people doing what needs to be done to better their lives!!! I don't look at weight for the most part. My point was, Skinny or Fat, psychology is needed to make us whole, well rounded individuals...

    you know if you find a good dr. for bariatric surgery they usually force you to go through 6 months of therapy prior. Sometimes I feel like every health plan should require that. Seek help mentally as you seek help physically. (NOT CONDONING SURGERY!!!) just think mental health is a huge portion of the decisions we make regarding what we shove into our gullets. Most people overweight are emotional eaters. Then why is there no help for that outside OEA? (Over Eaters ANon)
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would focus as much energy on themselves that they do on what other people are doing... just my two cents... I have a very busy fulfilled life to spend so much unneccessary energy focused on what other people are doing... what's the point?
    Love your attitude, glad you took a moment to share!! :wink: :flowerforyou:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would focus as much energy on themselves that they do on what other people are doing... just my two cents... I have a very busy fulfilled life to spend so much unneccessary energy focused on what other people are doing... what's the point?

    I really don't want to be mean, but surely you see the irony in the fact that you took time to post this. :ohwell:
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would focus as much energy on themselves that they do on what other people are doing... just my two cents... I have a very busy fulfilled life to spend so much unneccessary energy focused on what other people are doing... what's the point?

    I really don't want to be mean, but surely you see the irony in the fact that you took time to post this. :ohwell:
    and yours? :smokin:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would focus as much energy on themselves that they do on what other people are doing... just my two cents... I have a very busy fulfilled life to spend so much unneccessary energy focused on what other people are doing... what's the point?

    I really don't want to be mean, but surely you see the irony in the fact that you took time to post this. :ohwell:
    and yours? :smokin:

    I never said I don't have the time to spend on what other people are doing. Why would I be on this forum if I didn't?? (see the irony now?)
  • damcool
    damcool Posts: 97 Member
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    Thank you very much...
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would focus as much energy on themselves that they do on what other people are doing... just my two cents... I have a very busy fulfilled life to spend so much unneccessary energy focused on what other people are doing... what's the point?


    I really don't want to be mean, but surely you see the irony in the fact that you took time to post this.
    No frankly I don't understand the comment made to her. Many of us use this site to get healthy, fit and create a lifelong plan for it. What someone else is doing in their diary, workouts etc., is not anyone's business but their own. I feel if someone asks for help or an opinion on their diary I'm more than happy to look at it.

    Other wise I'm with the poster above your response, the one you made the 'comment' too. :frown:

    I'm not here to get in other people/'s business unless they are ask. What they add to their diary and workouts is totally up to them. Does it mean I don't care about ppl? NO, it simply means not all of us have the time to spend the day on the boards criticizing what others are doing! Not treating others like that seems far more caring. :ohwell: :flowerforyou:
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Everyone has their own struggle, you'll be far more successful if you focus on yours rather than being bitter at other people about theirs. General health is more than pounds on a scale, and is all about perspective.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
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  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
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    I'm almost 50. I've been overweight my entire adult life. I have to say...I feel better about myself at 250 than I ever did at 150. I think that level of acceptance comes with age. What I've come to realize is that we all have a perception of ourselves and we are all at different stages in our lives and different levels of acceptance of our bodies and our situation. The pain someone feels being 'only' 10 pounds overweight is just as painful as someone who has 100 extra pounds. Pain is pain. We are here to gain support from others and lessen our own pain. If we focus on ourselves and not compare ourselves to others, it will be easier to find that inner acceptance. Selfishness is a paradox. Detach from others' issues. They are not yours to own. Allow them their pain and empathize if you can, then move on.

    I'll admit there is sometimes a "I'll give you something to cry about" gut reaction when I read someone with only 10 pounds to lose is upset about it. But I know from having lost an anorexic friend that my pain cannot compare with hers. It just is. I'm not saying someone with only 10 pounds to lose is anorexic. Please don't deliberately misinterpret. I'm saying we all have feelings about our appearance and they are all valid. Focus on alleviating yours.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Wow, people are taking things that are posted here entirely too seriously.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    I know what you mean? I had to deal with a lot of that in school.. The skinniest girl ever claiming she's fat! Really annoying! So true about people going to Mickey D's every other day! I also went to therapy, and it's so true.. many, many people could sure use a session.. or 12.


    There was this one girl who I had gym with, all the girls changed together and my class had a lot of my field hockey teammates so we were used to seeing one another in various states of undressed, we were also hockey girls, kind of a husky bunch of girls, and this one tiny skinny popular girl was also in our gym class and would always complain about how fat she was, I don't think one of us ever did the, 'you're so skinny thing' which was obviously what she wanted to hear from the girls who weighed 20lbs more than her, but we didn't, might have been mean but fishing for compliments is lame...and not going to work with hockey girls...

    Everyone needs a therapy session or 12. I love my therapist!
  • damcool
    damcool Posts: 97 Member
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    What I don't get is that I thought this site was for people to encourage and also vent things that are frustrating. If I were only to care about myself, then what the hell am I doing on this site? I care for people and then, I get frustrated when people are doing destructive behaviors. My question now is, why, if you only care about yourself, would you even be on here? I have lost 75 lbs. I am now a size 3. I am picture perfect of what being committed looks like. I'm not trying to be vain, but, I'll say it again, I know what it's like to be skinny and fat. I'm not trying to pull anyone's chain here...I hope that those that are super sensitive to what I have to say, will reread what I'm really about. I absolutely see every angle, because I was/am/will continue to try to see all views. That's all I can really say about it. If you don't like it, it is no sweat off my shoulders...I know where I stand...
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    I'm almost 50. I've been overweight my entire adult life. I have to say...I feel better about myself at 250 than I ever did at 150. I think that level of acceptance comes with age. What I've come to realize is that we all have a perception of ourselves and we are all at different stages in our lives and different levels of acceptance of our bodies and our situation. The pain someone feels being 'only' 10 pounds overweight is just as painful as someone who has 100 extra pounds. Pain is pain. We are here to gain support from others and lessen our own pain. If we focus on ourselves and not compare ourselves to others, it will be easier to find that inner acceptance. Selfishness is a paradox. Detach from others' issues. They are not yours to own. Allow them their pain and empathize if you can, then move on.

    I'll admit there is sometimes a "I'll give you something to cry about" gut reaction when I read someone with only 10 pounds to lose is upset about it. But I know from having lost an anorexic friend that my pain cannot compare with hers. It just is. I'm not saying someone with only 10 pounds to lose is anorexic. Please don't deliberately misinterpret. I'm saying we all have feelings about our appearance and they are all valid. Focus on alleviating yours.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
    I'm glad you posted, you have some good thoughts!:heart: I absolutely agree that a person needing/wanting to drop 10 lbs. can be struggling the same as someone looking to drop 100 lbs. It's a matter of perspective as someone above shared, I definitely agree with that. :drinker:
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
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    Wow, people are taking things that are posted here entirely too seriously.

    At least it doesn't result in a fist fight in an internet forum. Can you imagine the carnage if this were a bunch of people face to face?
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    Wow, people are taking things that are posted here entirely too seriously.

    At least it doesn't result in a fist fight in an internet forum. Can you imagine the carnage if this were a bunch of people face to face?
    There'd definitely need to be a mop up for sure! :wink: :laugh:

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