People being negative because I "only" needed to loose 22lbs

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CARNAT22
CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I really do not think it's fair that someone I work with is making negative comments as she lost 77lbs a few years back but I have "only" had to lose 20lbs.

Her insenstive comments have left me dumbfounded to be honest!!

I get the impression on MFP (to a degree) that there is divide among those with a bit too lose and those with a lot to lose. It makes sense really, of course I would have more in common with someone who is short and only wanted to lose a little weight.

Yet I refuse to apologise for 'only' losing 20lbs. I was 22lbs overweight, that was my cut off point (when I decided to tackle my weight) but it's not fair that I am being made to feel guilty...

Effectively If I was to resort to her level then I would have pointed put that the reason she had to oose 77lbs is because she was much more overweight than I was to begin with. I do not judge her for that, in fact I commend her for taking the steps she did - but is it fair that she judges me?

Sorry guys - I am so angry right now and just needed a rant!

I can't believe that someone who has been through the weightloss process can be so negative and unsupportive to be honest..
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Replies

  • TeenaMarina
    TeenaMarina Posts: 419 Member
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    It's "lose".
  • MaryKatU
    MaryKatU Posts: 146
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    I''ve ran into the same type of thing. Hang in there! 22lbs is a big deal. Good luck to you.
  • mageepilot
    mageepilot Posts: 289 Member
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    I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Losing weight is hard no matter how much or little. It's good you have great support on here! I really can't identify with her negative comments. You would think she would be supportive.
  • nananie2
    nananie2 Posts: 272 Member
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    You're right, no fair.
    It's great that you've decided to get in shape and shed the extra pounds!
    Keep going and don't mind those negative comments!
  • Beaukitty
    Beaukitty Posts: 34 Member
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    As long as you've lost weight in a healthy means and you're losing to a good weight for your height, you're fine. Congratulations on what you've lost so far and keep up the good work the healthy way!! :drinker:
  • staceyo1211
    staceyo1211 Posts: 163
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    You should be proud of yourself that you recognized in time that you was overweight and not obese so you could do something about it sooner. Maybe she was upset that she didnt do anything about it until she was obese. Sometimes others are just jealous of others success. Dont let that come in between how you feel and what you have done.
  • skfj5
    skfj5 Posts: 70
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    She's obviously still really insecure about her weight and who she is, and needs affirmation that she's a worthwhile person. Since she can't tell herself she's a good person, or acknowledge that she has, in fact, done a good job...she has to try and bring people down.

    It's sad...but many people with weight issues have those issues because they have other emotional issues as well (and I am speaking from personal experience). Food is as big an addiction as anything...we use it to fill the holes in our lives. But if we don't find a way to solve the emotional root...then we'll just fill it with some other self-destructive behavior...

    ...like being a negative *****, for example :)
  • mckshowie
    mckshowie Posts: 210 Member
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    vanity weight or health conscious weight... it doesn't matter. and really, the vanity weight is harder to lose. do this for you.
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    You know, she may just be upset that she let herself get to the poin of having to lose 77 pounds where as you only let yourself get to the point of having to lose 20..

    I wouldn't let it bother you.. If she keeps making snide remarks, let her know that you wanted to tackle your weight issues before you let them get to the point of having to lose 77 pounds... say it sweetly, and smile afterwards. and she will get the hint. plus she wont be able to call you a b**ch! haha
  • AmyBeth719
    AmyBeth719 Posts: 184 Member
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    I really do not think it's fair that someone I work with is making negative comments as she lost 77lbs a few years back but I have "only" had to loose 20lbs.

    Her insenstive comments have left me dumbfounded to be honest!!

    I get the impression on MFP (to a degree) that there is divide among those with a bit too lose and those with a lot to loose. It makes sense really, of course I would have more in common with someone who is short and only wanted to lose a little weight.

    Yet I refuse to apologise for 'only' loosing 20lbs. I was 22lbs overweight, that was my cut off point (when I decided to tackle my weight) but it's not fair that I am being made to feel guilty...

    Effectively If I was to resort to her level then I would have pointed put that the reason she had to loose 77lbs is because she was much more overweight than I was to begin with. I do not judge her for that, in fact I commend her for taking the steps she did - but is it fair that she judges me?

    Sorry guys - I am so angry right now and just needed a rant!

    I can't believe that someone who has bene through the weightloss process can be so negative and unsupportive to be honest..

    I get that at work all the time and it drives me crazy. I also get the I don't need to lose anything. Why am I doing this? Your not thinking right. Blah, blah, blah....

    But what they don't realize is that everyone is different and whether you are 5lbs or 205lbs overweight everyone has that goal to lose the pounds and everyone has struggles with their weight. They should not judge, but rather support you in your effort in becoming a heathier person.
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
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    It's "lose".


    Wow. She's already upset about all the negative comments and lack of support, and THAT'S what you have to say? Geez. Get a grip, people. MFP is supposed to be a community to support each other in our journey. My advice to the original poster: ignore the haters. There are haters everywhere: ones who need to lose 100+ pounds, and ones who need to lose 10 pounds. And ones who feel the need to constantly correct spelling of people who aren't their children. Wow.

    So, Carnat22: be PROUD of those 20 pounds gone! Here's to you, friend: :drinker:
  • crmeserole
    crmeserole Posts: 1
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    It shouldn't matter if you have to lose 22 pounds or 122 pounds. This is your body and not theirs. Some people get jealous and you just have to brush it off. Congrats on your weight loss! Keep up the good work!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    It's "lose".

    I notice that a lot too but it is very rude of you to say especially during a rant..............badly done and very uncouth
  • carlatiger
    carlatiger Posts: 19
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    I have a very similar situation with a friend who laughed at me when I said I was serious about losing some weight. OK, I 'only' need to lose 10lb, but I know that for me, I fall easily down slippery slopes and I'd like to do somehting about it before it gets out of hand.

    Congrats for the 20lb you've lost, excellent work :D
  • hyde1977
    hyde1977 Posts: 476 Member
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    You should not apologize! If you ahve to lose 2 pounds or 100 pounds this site is and should be designed to help people! Even those who just want to maintain! It is about creating a healthy lifestyle! And doing it the right way! Don't apologize!

    I had a friend not added someone b/c she was too skinny and didn't want her to see her progress! Thats awful! Yes this site it help you lose weight, but its so much more than that! its about learning, and maintaining, and finding others with a common goal!

    You are only 2 pounds away from your goal and for this you should be so excited! I am only 3 pounds away from my first goal! Both of these are huge milestones in our lives and we should celebrate!!!!

    Great Job on you success so far and keep it up!!!!

    :happy:
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    Coming from someone who need to lose a lot of weight, I tend to get a little touchy when someone who only needs to lose 10-20lbs complains a lot about being too fat. (no saying you do that...but that's usually what makes me all grouchy when talking about weight loss) But I don't say anything and still try to be supportive of their weight loss (since they do still need to lose! I'd hate if all my support dropped off the planet when I got down to the last 20).

    I think it just feels different, having 150lbs to lose vs 20lbs to lose. Just like I"m sure someone who has 300lbs to lose would look at someone who only has 150lbs to lose the same way. It just "feels" harder (even though its not harder....just longer).

    Good luck on your life-style change :)
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    everyone has their struggles perhaps hers was very hard you just gotta be respectful no matter how she responded to your weight loss..you didnt lose it for her so just move on there are more hurdles to jump this is only minor...its not about taking the weight off its about keeping it off and living a balanced happy lifestyle...dont spend so much time ranting on her etc...and who knows she may gain it back...but dont see it as a way to get even see it as a way for you to prove your the better person...karma works in funny ways.stay focused on your own goals...good luck!....I sure hope the grammar police dont get me they need to focus as well haha
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    bleh double posted
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
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    It's "lose".

    I notice that a lot too but it is very rude of you to say especially during a rant..............badly done and very uncouth

    Incredibly.
  • LauraDubbleya
    LauraDubbleya Posts: 79 Member
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    When I was in my late 20's I needed to lose about 15 lbs. It was a health issue for me, but when I went into a WeighWatchers meeting, I got the nastiest comments like, "What are YOU doing here?" " I can't believe you're trying to ONLY lose 15 lbs". And these were from women actively trying to lose weight. It is hurtful to not have that kind of support but no one knows what your reasons are for wanting to lose weight and they don't necessarily have to know either. Do it for you and let the comments of the insecure slide off your back!

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