People being negative because I "only" needed to loose 22lbs

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  • SheliaN1960
    SheliaN1960 Posts: 454 Member
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    Hello. We are all on the same journey, whether it is 1 mile or 100. So you keep your chin up and keep yourself focused. If you need us, we are here for you! Best wishes!
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    I get the impression on MFP (to a degree) that there is divide among those with a bit too lose and those with a lot to loose. It makes sense really, of course I would have more in common with someone who is short and only wanted to lose a little weight.

    Yet I refuse to apologise for 'only' loosing 20lbs. I was 22lbs overweight, that was my cut off point (when I decided to tackle my weight) but it's not fair that I am being made to feel guilty...

    Effectively If I was to resort to her level then I would have pointed put that the reason she had to loose 77lbs is because she was much more overweight than I was to begin with. I do not judge her for that, in fact I commend her for taking the steps she did - but is it fair that she judges me?

    I'm probably tiptoing a fine line because I don't want to offend anyone here. Let me put it into perspective, before I get jumped all over.... I'm here because I have about 15 pounds to lose. I got uncomfortable with myself and it was either buy new clothes or lose weight. I chose to start working out and losing weight. I can't imagine ever letting myself get to the point where I needed to lose 75+ pounds. But that's me.

    I think it's great that people who really have a lot of weight to lose work hard and lose a lot of weight. But losing more weight doesn't make you a better person than someone who never had that much to lose in the first place!! Frankly, her attitude is not only not fair, the fact that she's doing the "holier than thou" act when she let herself get so overweight in the first place is really sort of pitiful, IMHO. Personally, if she pulled that with me, I'd actually be saying what you wanted to say and let her deal with it. She doesn't sound like someone I'd want as a friend.
  • gumonyershoe
    gumonyershoe Posts: 20
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    :( That stinks that the one person was so rude to you. There's no call for that whatsoever. Heck, for all she knows (and I'm not saying this is the case at all) this could have been your first goal of just 22lbs. I know that I usually set my ticker and my goals for small increments at a time so I don't get discouraged. I actually need to lose close to 155lbs, but my first goal was to lose 25, then another 25 and so on. Just looking 25lbs at a time. From what I'm gathering, that isn't actually the case in your situation, however, there is no place to judge. Good for you on realizing what you needed to do and acting towards it before it got to the point that you HAD over 70lbs to lose!!

    Edit:
    I missed the first part where you said it was someone you work with. Oh well. The point still remains that its good that you saw a need and started working on it before you needed to lose 70lbs.
  • mrsfeuer
    mrsfeuer Posts: 69 Member
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    That's a shame.
  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
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    Only YOU can make you feel guilty, other people can try but you're in charge of how you feel:)
  • dakoerber
    dakoerber Posts: 308 Member
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    Try not to worry about those types of comments. It sounds like your co worker has issues of her own. Losing weight is hard no matter what size you are. We all have to do the same things to lose weight. Just because someone has more to lose just means it will take them more time than someone with less to lose but it is still hard.

    I wanted to lose 30 lbs and I have to get up at 4:45 and workout everyday. I have to eat the right foods. I have to track my food and watch my calories. If I had 100lbs to lose I will still have to do those things.

    It is sad that someone who has lost quite a bit of weight still can't see that what you have done is very similar and commend you on that! But again - that is her issue not yours. Its about feeling good about yourself. No one can take away what you have accomplished!! Great job!!!
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
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    My life became a lot better when I decided I didn't give a chit what other people thought.
  • Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet
    Mrs_TrimWaistFatWallet Posts: 486
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    Sorry she was mean. You have a goal and its a GREAT goal!! Tell her to stick it.. :)
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
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    That is crazy! I have to lose 70lbs, but eventually, I will be at the point where I "only" need to lose 20lbs....it is still necessary to be at a healthy weight. Don't let her get you down; just keep doing what you're doing =) Good luck!
  • GemmieNoWobbles
    GemmieNoWobbles Posts: 398 Member
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    It's "lose".

    I notice that a lot too but it is very rude of you to say especially during a rant..............badly done and very uncouth

    Incredibly.

    This is probably the person who was poo-poo-ing the 20lbs weight loss....:noway:

    I need to lose 22lbs too and I think its a big deal... ignore the haters!! :drinker:
  • TWEETIE19
    TWEETIE19 Posts: 54
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    Sorry but losing weight is losing weight....You keep up the good work. :flowerforyou:
  • SenoraMacias
    SenoraMacias Posts: 305 Member
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    I *only* want to lose 10lb! So ha! The point is we all have to do it the same way, regardless of how much we want to lose. We ALL have to eat less/better and we ALL have to exercise more. So who cares?!! I thought we were supposed to be in this thing together...?
  • ande2994
    ande2994 Posts: 136
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    I'm with you -- I'm looking to lose ~20 lbs. That will take me out of clinically "overweight" to a "normal" weight.

    But more than that, those 20 lbs. were making it hard for me to live the life that I wanted to live. I had to cut hikes and bike rides short. The food I was eating was making me sluggish, not fueling me to feel good. The weight was adding to my chronic back problems, and contributing to new pains in my hips and knees -- and I'm not even 30 yet! And diabetes runs in both sides of my family, so I know I'm at risk.

    MyFitnessPal isn't a short-term, drastic measure -- it's helping me understand how to create a healthy relationship with food and activity. Why not develop that relationship now -- regardless of what size or shape you are??

    Ignore the people who want to hold you back -- keep focused on the life you want for yourself and what you need to do to get there. :)
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
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    It's "lose".


    I'm certain that every post you have ever replied to was just oozing with perfection!!! Give it a rest!!

    Congrats on your 20 lb loss so far!! Be Proud, whether it's 2 or 200!!
  • gecho
    gecho Posts: 426 Member
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    It's "lose".


    Wow. She's already upset about all the negative comments and lack of support, and THAT'S what you have to say? Geez. Get a grip, people. MFP is supposed to be a community to support each other in our journey. My advice to the original poster: ignore the haters. There are haters everywhere: ones who need to lose 100+ pounds, and ones who need to lose 10 pounds. And ones who feel the need to constantly correct spelling of people who aren't their children. Wow.

    So, Carnat22: be PROUD of those 20 pounds gone! Here's to you, friend: :drinker:



    Here Here!:drinker:
  • PrfctGdess
    PrfctGdess Posts: 257
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    ... I tend to get a little touchy when someone who only needs to lose 10-20lbs complains a lot about being too fat...

    It annoys me as well when people who "only" needed to lose 20 or so lbs to begin with complain of being "so fat", but I generally just ignore it. IMO, those people are just looking for attention anyway. But that's also different from someone (like you, I gather) who is wanting to lose 20 lbs to be healthier and is just here to do that (and not to compare their "fatness" to someone else's). This is by it's very nature a personal journey for each of us on here, so comparing yourself to others makes no sense at all to me.

    So heck yeah, girl, it's still DANG hard to lose those 22 lbs! You're totally right, I need to lose 60 because I didn't do this sooner, so good for you recognizing it faster than that! I DO tend to friend people who have around the same amount to lose that I do (instead of people who need to lose much less than me), but that's only because I figure they'll be on MFP longer. :P But that's no excuse for rude behavior. If you don't like what someone says, ignore it. Just because there is a "reply" or "comment" button on your screen doesn't mean you HAVE to push it. :)
  • tamheath
    tamheath Posts: 702 Member
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    This is probably the person who was poo-poo-ing the 20lbs weight loss....:noway:

    :laugh:
  • hjy319
    hjy319 Posts: 269 Member
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    Anyone who has struggled with weight in their life knows how hard it is to lose it and keep it off. You can see by my ticker below I have a ton to lose, I admire anyone no matter what size who is out there to keep them selves helathy and fit! So keep up the good work.
    I hope a little insight may be that she may feel that you are judging her with out saying anything because of the difference in loss. That was one of my huge hurdles when I heard someone say wow I need to lose XX amount of weight, inside I would think wow they must think I am an elephant then. It took me a while to not feel that, but I still get it, espically when people talk about someone and say they must have weighed XXX, I think god thats where I am at, what do they think of me :(

    Sorry about the babbling, but again keep up the great work, and know its not you, its probably a issue she has with herself.
  • CARNAT22
    CARNAT22 Posts: 764 Member
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    It's "lose".

    Amended (apart from thread title which I couldn't change) I am very tired on this grey Monday afternoon LOL!

    Thanks to everyone that managed to see through my spelling mistake and offer some advice - much appreciated!
  • SommerJo
    SommerJo Posts: 258 Member
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    Coming from someone who need to lose a lot of weight, I tend to get a little touchy when someone who only needs to lose 10-20lbs complains a lot about being too fat. (no saying you do that...but that's usually what makes me all grouchy when talking about weight loss) But I don't say anything and still try to be supportive of their weight loss (since they do still need to lose! I'd hate if all my support dropped off the planet when I got down to the last 20).

    I think it just feels different, having 150lbs to lose vs 20lbs to lose. Just like I"m sure someone who has 300lbs to lose would look at someone who only has 150lbs to lose the same way. It just "feels" harder (even though its not harder....just longer).

    Good luck on your life-style change :)

    I agree with this -- for me if someone is "slightly" overweight complaining about how fat they are -- I can't help but wonder how disgusting they think I am. Kudos to you for all your hard work. I can't wait till I'm down to my last 20 lbs to lose.

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