People being negative because I "only" needed to loose 22lbs

leighton1245

Yeah, I know what you mean. I only wanted to lose 20 lbs, and was constantly getting "you have an eating disorder, you don't need to lose weight" from larger friends.

Many people get this because MOST AMERICANS now days are over weight <--- thank you McDONALDS, AND BK

strbryt

She's obviously still really insecure about her weight and who she is, and needs affirmation that she's a worthwhile person. Since she can't tell herself she's a good person, or acknowledge that she has, in fact, done a good job...she has to try and bring people down.

It's sad...but many people with weight issues have those issues because they have other emotional issues as well (and I am speaking from personal experience). Food is as big an addiction as anything...we use it to fill the holes in our lives. But if we don't find a way to solve the emotional root...then we'll just fill it with some other self-destructive behavior...

...like being a negative *****, for example

You are so very right about this. I am on this journey as well and know that most of the reason I am over weight is because I have a self worth problem. I am one of those people who don't like to use their child hood as an EXCUSE for anything. I like to think that I am a survior and as an adult I make my own decisions and no on emakes me put the food in my mouth. It is my drug and I am not in a place that I can see this and fix myself and for no one other than myself.

iamstaceywood

she sounds like a turd. eff her.

karensoxfan

Sorry you got offended. i'll be honest. I feel it's "irritating" when "thin" people complain about how "fat" they look (enough quotes there?? haha) My fiance is very thin and complains a lot about wanting more muscle so when he works out and eats more and gets more muscle he inevitably gains a few pounds and complains that he's so fat. Thanks for making me feel great!!! It's just about body image issues for everyone. Don't let people get you down. Try to stay positive Great job on losing the weight you have and Good luck continuing!!

I agree -- as someone with more than 20 lb. to lose (about 3x that!), it can be frustrating to hear things like that. My husband is the same way. Very fit & healthy (not overweight at all), but it's like fingernails on a chalkboard for me when he says he feels fat. He's certainly entitled to feel whatever he feels, but to gripe about it to an obese woman, it's REALLY hard for me to muster up much sympathy for him.

To the OP, I'm sorry you feel like your coworker who lost 75+ lb. was insensitive & unsupportive. We should all be in this together, but I'm also disappointed to read so many replies that your coworker must have just "let herself go" at some point. NOBODY wants to be fat. And increasing numbers of people are fat today. I'm one of them, and I made lots of poor choices that brought me here, but I'm doing something about it.

I've struggled with weight for a long time now, and I know it can be just as hard to lose 15 lb. or 50 lb., but the experience of tackling those two goals is VERY different. The length of time those goals take can be VERY different. The thoughts & feelings that can go along with those goals can be VERY different.

I've also been the at-goal WW member standing in line for my maintenance weigh-in, when someone said "you're skinny, why are YOU here?" and they probably kicked themself nice & hard when I answered that I'd lost 50 lb. and wanted to keep it that way.

We all have our own demons to face down, and it doesn't help any of us to knock each other. Instead of judging each other, we should think more about our own words & actions.

stefraab

Weightloss is weightloss, and if she wants to be petty then you probably have almost a more difficult journey as you do have less to lose and it's harder to get those pounds off from the sounds of it. But anyone who is losing weight should be supportive of people on the same path - whether they have 5lbs or 105lbs to lose. Seems silly to be so petty.

stefraab

Double post

stefraab

It's "lose".

seems kind of unnecessary........?

kimmerroze

You know, she may just be upset that she let herself get to the poin of having to lose 77 pounds where as you only let yourself get to the point of having to lose 20..

I wouldn't let it bother you.. If she keeps making snide remarks, let her know that you wanted to tackle your weight issues before you let them get to the point of having to lose 77 pounds... say it sweetly, and smile afterwards. and she will get the hint. plus she wont be able to call you a b**ch! haha

Being someone who you would assume "let herself go" and had to lose a lot of weight I can tell you she doesn't need the reminder and the OP doesn't need to lower herself to that level.

Also, I didn't let myself go.... I crash dieted my way right on up the scale doing all the fad diets trying to lose weight. So you never know and should never assume why someone might be heavy.

I never assumed anything about this lady. It was a guess... much like other people are guessing that she is Jealous of the OP. She was belittling the OP's comittment to lose 20 pounds. I never Assumed that she let herself go. Its the same type of reason I started losing weight, I didn't want my 20 pounds to turn into 50 or 100 pounds. plus teh suggestion of a comment like the one I said, was contingent upon the fact that she kept making rude comments about her goal to lose 20 pounds. If you make snide remarks you deserve snide answers.

Plus I didnt say YOU let YOUrself go. You said that. So don't ASSUME that I assumed that you did. Quite frankly unless you were the person the OP was talking about my comment had nothing to do with you.

neelia

You know, she may just be upset that she let herself get to the poin of having to lose 77 pounds where as you only let yourself get to the point of having to lose 20..

I wouldn't let it bother you.. If she keeps making snide remarks, let her know that you wanted to tackle your weight issues before you let them get to the point of having to lose 77 pounds... say it sweetly, and smile afterwards. and she will get the hint. plus she wont be able to call you a b**ch! haha

Being someone who you would assume "let herself go" and had to lose a lot of weight I can tell you she doesn't need the reminder and the OP doesn't need to lower herself to that level.

Also, I didn't let myself go.... I crash dieted my way right on up the scale doing all the fad diets trying to lose weight. So you never know and should never assume why someone might be heavy.

This is so true! People have weight issues for a multitude of reasons. My sister in-law had her job change dramatically - the stress now is incredible - not many other jobs out there. A neighbor underwent major medical - and is now on lifelong medication. She never had a weight issue before now. You can't assume - because you really never know.

Do we seriously have people getting upset over the use of "let yourself go"? Really, it's time to put our adult panties on and stop reading between the lines.

Unless you have a medical condition that prevents you from losing weight or causes you to gain weight, it is likely that your weight is a result of the food you put in your mouth or your lack of exercise, maybe both. If the weight gets to the point of being a problem, it is likely that we have let ourselves go. Plain and simple. I am here because I "let myself go", as in I was under an abnormal amount of stress, going through a serious depression, etc, and I ended up this way. In no way would it offend me for someone to point out the truth.

THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'VE MADE A DECISION TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. For that you should be proud... no need to attack another member for her choice of words.

tamheath

I can totally see your co-workers point! You should definitely have waited until you gained another 50 lbs before you did anything about it. What could you possibly have been thinking??? :flowerforyou:

I can totally see your co-workers point! You should definitely have waited until you gained another 50 lbs before you did anything about it. What could you possibly have been thinking??? flowerforyou

Hilarious! :laugh:

aippolito1

Don't apologize! I've lost 22 lbs but I've only kept off about half of that... I maintained my 22 lbs for about a year and then gained some just from lack of discipline and now I'm trying to climb back up to 22! 22 is only halfway for me...I wish I could say I lost 22 and was at goal weight. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Even if it's 5 lbs... if it makes you happy and makes you healthier than you were before, then who cares what anyone else thinks?! You did it for YOU and that's all that matters.

ilikeflowers

It's unfortunate that she reacted that way, especially someone you have to work with. Some women are really competitive and can't be happy if other people are happy. You should be proud of losing 22 pounds, 2 pounds, or 220 pounds. One of the greatest feelings of losing weight other than feeling healthier, is making a goal and going for it! Actually reaching the goal is very hard and you did it- congratulations to you miss keep up the great work!

supershiny

I think taking control of your health is remarkable at any weight. I find that many times if people take pride in something and they are insecure in general, then they tend to overcompensate and belittle others' accomplishments/goals. I work in the tech industry and this attitude is quite rampant in all areas of life. Why does everything have to be a competition? I am not a competitive person, so I really, really don't understand that.

I say tell her to sthu and walk tall with your awesome accomplishment! You are fabulous.