What do you say to those that arent encouraging?

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  • ashleypietz
    ashleypietz Posts: 87 Member
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    Keep with your goal no matter what he says. If he continues to belittle your journey then you should definitely call him on it but take it as a momentary lapse of judgement and move on. He obviously loves you as you are or he wouldn't be marrying you. He'll love you even more when he sees how happy and confident you are at a healthier weight. Good luck!
  • TK421NotAtPost
    TK421NotAtPost Posts: 512 Member
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    Think "what would Pat Summitt do?"
  • Jdismybug1
    Jdismybug1 Posts: 443 Member
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    tell him to put his $ where his mouth is....make a bet with him and see how determined and focused you can be when there is cash on the line.

    tell him $100 for every month you stick to it is going towards the new wardrobe you will need by your honeymoon.

    ps it's not about being deprived of anything it's just about making some healthy changes so you can do it so why not have fun taking his $ while you're at it!


    This is definitely something I am bringing to the table tonight! LOL!


    Me too!
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    ASLONG as it was a once off jerk moment i would just do you and let him eat his words.
    Now if it was me you would have heard two bangs,me hitting his face and him hitting the floor lol JOKE!!
    What you are doing for your mom is amazing and he should be supporting why you are losing weight in the first place.
    That said some people do not get it but everyone here does so you have come to the right place.
    Best of luck x
  • krlaws2
    krlaws2 Posts: 47
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    My husband made a couple of less than supportive comments when I first started MFP. To be honest, who can blame him - I have tried in the past to get into the exercise thing and have not succeeded. He had tried to encourage me and have me join him and I wouldn't do it. I really had to start this on my own, for myself.

    Now that my husband sees that I'm serious he is 100% supportive and encouraging and we are planning to start running together now and hope to do a 5K with each other.
  • getsveltEagain
    getsveltEagain Posts: 1,063 Member
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    my fiance looks at me and says "I give you a week and you will be done with it".

    I only have a 3 word response to that : Prove him wrong!!!!
  • isabelk
    isabelk Posts: 153 Member
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    My husband sometimes says things that he's thinking, but aren't what I want to hear. Sometimes I say: I need some encouragement now, from you. Sometimes I say: I need some empathy, not advice. Sometimes I just let it go. He's a great, great guy but he's no psychic LOL. Ask for what you want, cuz he might just not be clued in at that moment.
  • lclarkjr
    lclarkjr Posts: 359 Member
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    Actions speak louder than words. If someone doubts you can do something, the best thing you can do is prove them wrong by actually doing it.
  • teremenmar
    teremenmar Posts: 37 Member
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    Since starting MFP I measure everything...my husband would laugh and say is that really necessary. At first I felt dumb. But after I started losing weight I didn’t care. Now every time I measure something in front of him I say “you laugh but when I’m losing weight and you’re not I get the last laugh.” Lol Now that I have started losing weight he doesn’t laugh anymore, but I still say that cause guess who is laughing now…ME!!! And don’t get me wrong…I’m not laugh at him cause he is not losing weight (cause that would make me the same as him, when he was laughing at me) No I laughing cause I would feel so dumb that I was measuring everything and he would laugh and that brings me pure joy now to know that I am losing weight.!!! YAY! In the end it doesn’t matter what people say. All that matters is you are losing weight. Also action speaks louder than words. Once you start working hard and the pounds start to come off like butter! He will be not say anything…You think 5 weeks from now is far, but when you get there you’ll be like wow, that was fast! Don't give up. You are so close to reaching all your goals. You can do it. I promise!!!
  • littlemissanguissette
    littlemissanguissette Posts: 248 Member
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    I usually tell them where to stick it, and do my own thing.
  • GrampsWooha
    GrampsWooha Posts: 184
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    too bad u cant delete him. thats what i do with non-encouraging people on here. so much easier in mfp world
  • celestedavis
    celestedavis Posts: 37 Member
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    Speaking from 36 years of wedded bliss, the time to let him know that hurt you and made you mad is now. It is important to speak the truth in love. You will carry this resentment if you don't address it. First of all, you have to CHOOSE to forgive him, "I choose to forgive (his name) for (what he did) and release him from owing me anything.

    Next, Think about how you can talk to him about it right away, "remember when I told you I was (whatever you said) and you said (whatever he said). It really through me for a loop, I expected you to be supportive of trying to improve myself, it made me feel (however it made you feel) and very resentful and unsafe. I have forgiven you and you really don't owe me anything but I did need to let you know that I need your support when I try things and I promise to give you my support as well." and then drop it. You have already released him from owing you anything (including an apology).

    Also, be careful who you invite into your process. Many times we use people as sounding boards and get so many opinions we become confused. Choose a few people to be your support team and then live your life. Best Wishes!
  • krb731
    krb731 Posts: 76 Member
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    F$%K off? Is what I say to those kind of people.


    Same here. And it is even better with an evil grin on your face.
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
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    you will make it through.
    dont listen to him

    i hate it when people say or do things like that.

    but that should make you stronger and more mad at him for doubting your ability to do this.
    ♥ you will make it through and we will help you through this keep strong and your head up high
  • krb731
    krb731 Posts: 76 Member
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    Think "what would Pat Summitt do?"

    LOVE THIS!
  • tladame
    tladame Posts: 465 Member
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    Well, now's your chance to prove to him that you CAN do it! Maybe it was just his way of challenging you. Tell him, "Challenge accepted, and I'll expect a new wardrobe when I reach my goal!" Hee hee.
  • AngieM76
    AngieM76 Posts: 622 Member
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    Just an update from a couple days later. I think he knows that I am serious. He works nights and I called him this morning when I woke up and told him I was going for a walk and he said "Youre really serious about this, arent you" and I told him I was. So I think he is starting to come around.

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