I'm sure I'll get bashed for this, but..

tryinghard2012

I think your post demonstrates the lack of understanding of the struggle people who are extremely overweight fight with everyday.

Your struggle isn't the same...and that has nothing to do with weight but more to do with self. It's apparent you have self image issues, and judging others isn't going to solve them.

As others have said, this isn't a competition. The only reward is the reward of bettering yourself.

Just1forMe

Why is it people who are over weight think they have struggled with weight control more than I have?

It's obvious they haven't. I've "struggled" daily for my entire life. They, on the other hand, have obviously not. They chose to ignore weight control and not bother with it. Now they are trying to take a short cut through all the years I walked away from the fried foods and baked good and still think THEY have been struggling longer than me!

Sure, I know you've had spells when you THOUGHT about weight control, and times when you may have even given it a meager attempt. But in the end, YOU skip out and enjoy all the good food and *I* keep on struggling to say no to it.

Don't think less of me because I have never been 50 pounds over weight. I've been working at this harder and longer than you ever will.

WOW. Sounds like you are the one doing all the judging here. Who is "they" & "you"? Those are pretty generic, all-inclusive terms. Are you saying you've worked harder to be thin & healthy than everyone else in the world...especially all of us "fat people"? "Harder & longer than you ever will"? Really? I hope there's one single person out there that ticked you off for you to write this...perhaps it would be better for you to address this to that person directly. You should probably get off that high horse of yours before you fall off...

BADGIRLstl

I agree with pretty much everyone on here. I'm still trying to find the POINT of this post.

mikeyml

This thread is incredibly inappropriate. The OP knew it was going to be controversial and that it was going to hurt people, but decided to post it anyway. The classic definition of an internet troll. It's all about creating drama.

Please don't feed the trolls.

Ali_TSO

SMH. Somebody call the Waaaambulance. This isn't a competition. Focus on you and I will focus on me

This made me laugh. So true! Words to live by!!!

sunyg

MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals.

I agree and that sounds good in practice. The idea that MFP is for everyone who wishes to achieve a weight or fitness related goal in a safe or healthy manner is very appealing.

However, in practice it doesn't always work that way. I have lost count of the times where negative assumptions have been made about slim people simply because of the way they look from being called skinny *****es, believing they have eating disorders, their weight loss goals are trivial, they don't struggle with their weight or my personal favourite that it's easy for them to lose weight because they have a fast metabolism (yeah, because busting your *kitten* in the gym and watching what you eat meticulously has nothing to do with it...)

I guess the old adage of "don't judge a book by its cover applies."

Everybody hurts....sometimes.

Couldn't have said it any better so I won't try. Completely agree with this!

MellowYellowGem

This thread is incredibly inappropriate. The OP knew it was going to be controversial and that it was going to hurt people, but decided to post it anyway. The classic definition of an internet troll. It's all about creating drama.

Please don't feed the trolls.

Well said!

mamaredhead

I agree with pretty much everyone on here. I'm still trying to find the POINT of this post.

The point might be that it is such big of an effort to keep your weight on an acceptable level. That absolutely is hard work. People who manage to do so want to get credit for it. And on here they might be experiencing that a lot of very big people losing very big amounts of pounds are getting lots of credit -- though they might not have worked on that issue "all their lives" but only "from now on".

We all know that this is not all there is to it, as everyone above has already said.
But to me that seems to be the beginning "problem": Please give me credit for what I have ALREADY done well throughout so many years and almost all of my entire life SO FAR!

Definitely well done :-)

Now everyone keep up the good work and spread the positive vibrations!!! ;-)

Mveler

I haven't personally "Judged" you (or anyone for that matter) Until RIGHT NOW.

My judgment tells me you need to stop worrying about your weight and go get psychiatric help. Seriously. You are making a 5 year old competition out of who struggles the longest? Umm you need help.

To me, Everyone here is here for different reasons but the goal is still the same, to get healthy. So you, my friend, are not any better than anyone on here. Get over yourself.

mountainmare

People--
The OP is 53 years old and facing the fact that her body will change and is probably a bit uneasy about it. (I'm 62 and have already changed and embraced my age). She has been able to control her weight for 53 years, but nothing will control the aging process.
True--you can work all your life to maintain a healthy lifestyle--making sacrifices (if that is how you see healthy choices) but at some point there will be changes. You can be a skinny as you please but you will never be 18 again (thank goodness!!!).

So to the OP--keep up your healthy lifestyle, keep up your strength work (more important than a number on the scale) and be very careful about your scale goals.
You don't say how tall you are--but those of us at a certain age need to be at the middle-higher end of the "healthy" range to maintain our bones and strength.

bunchesonothing

The OP's post was most likely written out of frustration. I know I've said things out of frustration before. And I don't know anyone that hasn't.

On that note, while people who are overweight believe they are ostracized, often so are thin people. And when it is pointed out, I've seen it scoffed at. Hell, when I've said it, I've been scoffed at. Let's face it, there is a minority in the US who are a healthy weight. 1/3 is overweight and another 1/3 is considered obese. I don't mean to offend, but honestly, with that many people struggling with being overweight, where is all of this "thin pressure" coming from? I would like an honest discussion on this. Not meaning to flame, but those that truly are "skinny" are a serious minority.

One of my friends called me, "a boy with boobs," because I was under a certain size. All my life I was called anorexic. And it was when I was a healthy weight for my height. I felt unattractive, flat, uncurvy and was SHOCKED the first time a boy showed interest in me, because of my body type. Until I gained weight, I longed to have the curves of my friends. Called, boney, flat, board like, twig. "Men like real women with curves, not twigs." So many people will say they don't contribute to the hurting of others, but I know LOTS of average sized women would probably gladly echo that statement not realize who it could hurt. Some people might not find it a big deal, but I did. And for the record, since my self-esteem has rebounded, I've learned that straight men like women. Period. :P

lizzybethclaire

Quite honestly, piss off. I don't judge skinny people. In fact, when I see them beside me busting their *kitten* at the gym it inspires me to work harder. They have to work hard to maintain just like I have to work hard to lose.

bunchesonothing

So, in short, ill worded, but I understand her frustration.I've seen a few people who echoed the exact reason why she is frustrated to begin with.

I also think that some people read things into her post that weren't there.

We need to all stop doubting each other's feelings.

writtenINthestars

It's obvious they haven't. I've "struggled" daily for my entire life. They, on the other hand, have obviously not. They chose to ignore weight control and not bother with it. Now they are trying to take a short cut through all the years I walked away from the fried foods and baked good and still think THEY have been struggling longer than me!

Sure, I know you've had spells when you THOUGHT about weight control, and times when you may have even given it a meager attempt. But in the end, YOU skip out and enjoy all the good food and *I* keep on struggling to say no to it.

Well...if you talk like that to people...no wonder you don't like the responses you get...

If you don't want to be judged...don't judge others. And accept that even if you don't judge someone, they MAY judge you. It's human nature. But lumping a group of people together is stupid...and sounds a bit self righteous. Stop worrying about what other people think and move on with your life.

lingading

Just wondering - would you consider yourself having a longer & harder struggle than a drug addict or an alcoholic because you've never "let" yourself become one? This post is so incredibly ignorant it is ridiculous.

bunchesonothing

Those are very different situations.

RainDodger

I just feel kind of bad for you that you consider it a competition...that's really good for you that you've worked on staying healthy- seriously Bravo! I'm sorry you feel like you're discriminated against for not being overweight- but I don't think that being so defensive is a good way to look at this. MFP is a community of all sorts of people with all different goals. Good for you and keep up the good work, but maybe to get encouragement, you should think about giving some?

Well said!

BerryH

Though the OP's tone has caused ripples, there us a message we can all take on. Maintaining is hard! I bet more than half of MFP members have lost weight before and put it on, again, right? I certainly have! I have friends who've stayed skinny all their lives, even after we all hit that "difficult" age, but if you look at what they eat and the exercise they do, they are not eating everything they want and always stayed very active. It's all down to the same conscious decisions we make every day when we're losing weight.

ratkaj

Why is it people who are over weight think they have struggled with weight control more than I have?

I'm going to back you up. I am getting pretty tired of people complaining about how much they have struggled, and how hard it is for them. I must have had it easy since I'm not obese.... I have heard this from MANY MANY MANY people in the last few months (including my running partner) Yes I have lost weight, yes I can run longer and faster; Mostly because I work hard at it. You would have to work hard too instead of playing the "woah is me"... "I struggle"... "it's hard"... "I can't"... card.

EVERYONE STRUGGLES!!

mandysue1980

First.... please don't take my response as a bashing. I promise it is not meant that way at all.

I think most people who are overweight feel that they've struggled longer/harder than someone who is not severely overweight for several reasons.

1. There is constant pressure on us from several directions to lose weight -- friends, family, dating, doctors, media, retail.....nearly every aspect of our lives reminds us in some way that we are overweight and would be more healthier, sexier, likeable, loveable, popular, active, prettier if we would just lose weight.

2. When you are overweight -- daily activities become more difficult -- more of a struggle. Walking, bending, standing, sitting, playing. Nearly every aspect of our lives comes with some kind of struggle.

3. Discrimination and abuse -- how many times have you been walking down the street and had a random car with random people yell obsenities at you -- just because of your weight? Have you ever felt you didn't get a job because of your weight?

4. Mental/Emotional health -- low self esteem, high self loathing, depression, anxiety, binging, purging, starving, control, helplessness, hopelessness, promiscuity.

It's rarely a matter of ignoring our weight issues as you stated. For myself -- it's something I think about every day. Somedays I feel motivated and push myself -- other days -- I feel like "what's the point" -- I'll never get there -- why try??

I don't think less of you because you've never had 50 lbs to lose -- but don't think less of me because I do. And I know men and women who fight and struggle to get their lives back -- harder and longer than you could ever imagine. Getting healthy thru diet and exercise is never a short cut!! Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to discount others simply because you've never faced the struggle that they do.

Very well said.
I have been on both ends, 10 years ago I had 40lbs to loose, and in my experience it was more of a struggle to loose that 40lbs then it is now to maintain where I am at. It hurts to have people give you dirty looks because of your weight or to hate yourself and feel like you are unable to do anything about it. I does not hurt (it might suck) to have to pass on that cupcake when you are already at a healthy weight. You should not judge people when you don't know the factors of their weight gain. People gain weight for a number of reasons, some beyond our control.