Is that THE ONLY thing he wants from me?

spicy618

Hi Pals,

I need the opinions/advice from men and this is the only place I can think of I can get the ear of a few men in a short period of time. :flowerforyou: Ladies your opinions are also welcomed. :flowerforyou:

First alittle background. I'll try to make it as short as possible.

I'm not much of a party girl. I average a "club night" about once every 3 months or so. Usually when a friend comes into town or celebrating a Birthday. Anyhoo, this past weekend was one of those rare occasions. I'm in the club, having a good time. This FINE *kitten* man approaches me very politely and tells me his name and asks if he can buy me a drink. I accept and we end up chatting for awhile and then he invites me up to the VIP section where the rest of his friends are. I met some of them and they were really nice.

I have to leave the party early. He had already given me his number because I refused mine . The next day I call him and he asks if he can take my friend and I to dinner (he knows I'm entertaining my out of town friend). We accept and he came all by himself and we all had a great time. The next day he invites us to his home to watch the Playoffs... said he's grilling burgers and some friends are coming over. We accept and true to his word, some of his friends and family are over and he is a perfect host. Well now I'm so smitten with this guy I can't wait to see him again.

I have a crazy work schedule lately and don't have much time for socializing on weekdays, however, we are chatting alittle here and there. But everytime we talk somehow he turns everything to sex... how he can imagine how good it will be with me, what he will do to me, how much i will enjoy him, etc. Everytime. Today, he comes all the way across town to take me to lunch. He asks me if i want to come to his house tonight (I don't work on Fridays). I say, "i don't want to be alone in your house". He then reminds me that he has family staying with him because of some remodeling being done at there house. That there will be a bunch of people there. I tell him that he will be dissappointed if he thinks "That" will happen. Perfect gentleman, until he walks me to my car and there go the hands all over me. Now, I'm not hollyier (sp) than thow type of woman, I can get down and dirty but i like taking my time and more often than not wait till we're exclusive. I met this guy on Friday, yes less than 1 week.

My question to the guys. Does it seem like this guy just wants a "Hit and Run"? I'm thinking this mostly because I met him in a club. BTW, We are both the same age.

Thanks for your attention

ladybug1620

I'm gonna go ahead and say steer clear of this guy. If he turns every conversation into sex, then yes that is the only thing he wants from you. A male friend once told me those exact words after one of his own best friends did the same thing to me.

monkeysmum

from a ladies point of view he seems a little keen but it isnt always a bad thing i met my hubby 20minutes later he proposed ( i thought he was totally nuts) but being young at the time i wa slike ok we`ve now been married almost 14yrs so fast isnt always bad but it is if its not what you want

me personally id tell him straight look you seem nice and all but frankly i dont know u well enough if he sticks around great if he doesnt its his loss

godroxmysox

I'm gonna go ahead and say steer clear of this guy. If he turns every conversation into sex, then yes that is the only thing he wants from you. A male friend once told me those exact words after one of his own best friends did the same thing to me.

I agree; take care of yourself, girl!

outwiththeoldinwiththenew

Sounds like a pig to me! Sorry girl, but you deserve better than a guy who can't even get through the first week without disrespecting your boundaries. Don't settle.

Setof2Keys

Agreed, if he's worth it and feels you're worth it, he'll wait. He may be testing your ho-ism. don't let it out until you 2 are exclusive and you feel comfortable. Set good boundaries and if he skips then it's not the kind of guy you want anyway. GUYS?????

spicy618

WOW Girls Thanks for your speedy responses :flowerforyou:

Great points!

That's why I love my MFPer's they give it to me straight.

tzBIGWORM

From my experience, you don't want to date someone you meet at a club. I don't go to clubs myself, but my female friends do, and end up disappointed when they find out the reason why most "relationships" aren't long term if they meet someone in the club. Clubs are pretty much the breeding ground for one-night stands.

Jellyphant

Agreed, if he's worth it and feels you're worth it, he'll wait. He may be testing your ho-ism. don't let it out until you 2 are exclusive and you feel comfortable. Set good boundaries and if he skips then it's not the kind of guy you want anyway. GUYS?????

Agreed!

DianaPowerUp

Wow. I think your gut instinct is probably right, unfortunately. He doesn't know you well enough to really know if he likes YOU. What he knows is what he sees, and that, he definately likes. I think it's pretty obvious he wants to get into your pants.

But does he want a relationship? Who knows. If he does, he sure isn't going about it the right way. I would be very very careful and tread lightly on this. If he really cares about YOU (which it's way too early for that), he'll want to be with you, and will want you to be ready and comfortable before getting more involved.

SueInAz

I think you already know the answer to this and it'd be nice to see a man's point of view, but if the only thing he's talking about is sex, then that's really all he's looking for. If you really think he's a nice guy and might be worth being with over time then lay it on the line that you're not interested in sex until you've given the relationship time and know him a bit better. Either he respects you for it or he doesn't.

jraps17

Am i the only MAN to answer this, i might be breaking some sort of Bro-code but i think you already know the answer. It might las for about 3 months tops. Good luck

mackemshazza

Run for the hills, I think you've answered your own question there! Someone who talks like that to you and gets all handsy on you is NOT a gent and does not respect you. You are worth more than that.

On the other hand, if you want a bit of dirty sex and excitement then go for it! But be careful, be sure to tell someone where you are going and have an "out" if you start feeling uncomfortable with him.

Good luck

VSgirl2010

YES! I have been out with a guy like this once or twice. He's a *kitten*!!! STAY away from him! it is his intention to USE you. Honestly, you will most likely NOT hear from him again afterwards if you give him what he wants. Also- he sounds aggressive- best to NEVER be alone with him.

I hope you turn and run......I really do.

BTW- I didn't listen to the turn and run advice I got and I regret it to this day =(

ritaadkins2002

well i think u are better off staying away from this guy unless u want a one night stand. i feel this is what he wants; if he trulely wanted u ; he would be acting with respect. u need to get to know someone and they need to have respect for u to get to know u in a friendship and boyfriend way. don't take less than what he is offering u. you deserve better than that. there are wonderful men out there; and he isnt one.

billsica

Wow. I think I see your point. I think there are really two types of guys. The first, this guys wants to score. If he sticks around or not is more than likely not going to have to do with anything going on in the bedroom. Sex first, that's what it seems about.

The second kind of guy the "perfect gentleman" they hide it better. They want to score. In both cases. Yes this is the ONLY thing they want from you.

its pretty much a no win situation. I say find a guy, maybe this one that is acceptable. I'm not saying to give in and sleep with him. Work on molding and crafting him into the guy you want. You got to make him want more than just the bedroom.

See a guy with his girl out at a antique store looking at tea cups? I bet that girl spent a lot of hard work to get him to do that.

foxxybrown

If a man wants to be with you, it doesn't matter if you give it up to him in 1 week or 1 month, he's gonna stay around. That being said, this dude sounds real lame for always talking about s3x. If you like him, tell him the constant s3x talk is a turn off.

La_Amazona

Where are the boys when you need them?

He seems to be into you. Who invites a booty call (or potential booty call) over to meet friends and family?
He also sounds like a horn dog and if you give it up then of course he'd take it and might lose interest.

I wouldn't assume that's all he wants. Now if none of the above had happened (like visits, date out with friends) then I'd definately say to ditch him. But I'd give it more time, keep my pants on and see where it'd go. I wouldn't let myself get too serious about him because *if* he is just wanting that then he might end up meeting another pretty girl and do the same with her and throw you aside for an easy piece of booty, then move on to the next one.

But he might be really into you AND want a piece but since you won't give it to him, he will stay around because he realizes just how into you he is.

BEERRUNNER

And you just met him this past weekend!?!?! ..........Ha! dude just want to hit it (asap) and quit it!.............

tross0924

Guys like sex. No really, like a lot. And we have an uncanny ability o turn anything into sex, so don't condem him for that especially if you haven't said anything about not liking it.

Talk to him and tell him that you'd appreciate a slower approach. If he backs off and keeps taking you out like the gentelman he was before, then no, he didn't just want sex. But if he doesn't back off, or call, then yes, that's all he wanted. If he's a halfway decent guy when you talk to him he should tell you all he wants right now is someone to have sex with if that's where he's at. So talk to him, and then don't wait for his call, but if it comes be open to it.

iAMaPhoenix

Am i the only MAN to answer this, i might be breaking some sort of Bro-code but i think you already know the answer. It might las for about 3 months tops. Good luck

A whole 3 months...you must be on drugs. I give it three minutes after he hit it, he is done with you. If it walks, sound, acts like a duck, it ain't no ****ing chicken. Run away, and forget breaking the Bro-code. He sounds desperate to me.