Is that THE ONLY thing he wants from me?

caterpillardreams

One thing about people, even those who like to lie or hide their true selves, the truth about them always comes out. Have you ever dated anyone, you guys break up and you are like God why was he such an *kitten* and you realize he always was you just wanted to see his good side.
Now we are all not perfect, but if he is not respecting you and pushing it, that is who he really is a guy who just wants to get in ur pants and if you rationalize that he is a nice guy and sometimes he does nice things. once you give up he is gonna reveal true colors completely. always, always take a person for whom they tel u they are even if its not with words
Actions speak louder than words.

BEERRUNNER

If you remove that scowl from your beautiful face, Big brown will make everything right. Let me put on a D'Angelo CD, and I will pull you close, and we'll slow-dance on my white bearskin rug. The fire is still going, so it will be romantic. While we are grooving together slowly, I will whisper into your ear and say things like, "Mmm, I love the way you move," or "Your embrace feels like heaven to me," or "You have beautiful calf muscles." Or I may sing song lyrics in your ear. Whatever I choose, you will be overcome with emotion and desire for me.

toots99

I am done in this thread until the OP rejoins it. For all we know she could have either dumped him or screwed him by now.

:laugh: :laugh:

BEERRUNNER

Damn!!!! big brown man with the awesome tan........love man!

LeeKetty1176

sorry...... sounds hit and run..............

if he was interested he would jus let nature takes its course and not push it !

AngelsKisses75

Okay, at the risk of being flamed all the way back to my starting weight I'm going to go ahead an be honest.

First, no matter where you meet be it a bar, church, or at the melon isle in the grocery store, the only reason a guy is going to go through the trouble of reeling you in and buying you a drink (or a melon) is because he finds you attractive. Attractive for either gender is short for "sexually attractive" not the type of attractive we call our moms or puppies. The same goes for a woman. I've never had a woman cross the bar to start a conversation with me, buy me a drink, and join me at my table and not had the opportunity for intercourse. I know lots of folks will instantly argue this point, either trying to prove sexual superiority or just to try to make themselves sound completely disinterested in sex in any way (which is really unattractive ladies). But if your honest, that's the way it is. Either that or he looked like a pay check.

So lets skip all the "he's a creep" type of social posturing and get to the bottom line. You're saying that a good looking, well mannered man with his own home and a good job would like to have sex with you and is not afraid to let you know that. If the roles were reversed and a man were saying that a hot, employed, and well educated woman would like to have sex with him there would only be high fives and his friends finding other rides home that evening.

So is it the only thing he wants, no probably not. If all I wanted from you was sex and I didn't score the first three dates I would have found someone else to want it from. So, while he is a be forward about the naked sheet tangling contest invitations, chances are he is also pursuing you as a person as well. I could be wrong and he may just be caught up in the thrill of the hunt and loose interest once he has bagged and mounted his prey but that's the risk we take every time.

But seriously, in most cases if it were not for sexual attraction, no one would ever get to know the "personality" of the other person that they say they are "really" interested in.

Okay ladies (and boy's that are trying to score points with the ladies) flame away.

^^ I agree with this ^^

Cherrycandy

IF I didnt know a man that well and didnt have an established (thru time) connection with him and he started talking about sex, he would never have a chance with me. I think thats so disrespectful and disgusting. It shows that he has no honor, no morals and he thinks so little of you that he already knows that youre gonna let him screw you. How does he know that he will EVER get to touch you? WHO does he think he is???? Just speaking for myself, I wouldnt give him the time of day. He wouldnt interest me in the least. I can tell you this too, when you towo finally did have sex, he would have gotten what he wanted and you more than likely would never hear from him again. People that just throw sex around, right off the bat like that, arent interested in a relationship. It's the thrill of the hunt for a man like that.

Danthewatcher

I honestly cannot see how you'd be trying to be helpful to the OP saying something like that. Remember that such an answer says more about you than her.

You're absolutely right. I read up on evolutionary psychology studies for fun and I don't sugar-coat *kitten*. Works for some, not all. The first part of the sentence you quoted served as my disclaimer. The problem with women in general is that we errantly believe we are helping one another with self-censorship and being fake. It's anything but altruistic because we do it to make and keep friends. The great thing about online threads is that OP already has 3+ pages of such advice to choose from and she can certainly leave my blip of rather alternative perspective behind if she elects to do so.

SwimG...your intellect reassures me about the state of humanity. Just beautiful. :flowerforyou:

FitFrenchGirl

To sum it up:

You: want to take it slow, and see where it leads + He: wants sex NOW = You're both looking for different things.

Unless you talk about this and he respects your needs, one of you is not gonna get what you want. Not fun.

amen!

spicy618

Hi Pals!

It was my Birthday weekend and I had a Fantastic time


Quick Update!!!

I sent him a note Thursday night stating how much I enjoyed his company and those things about him i liked so far. I then explained how his frequent references to sex are making me think he is only interested in a physical relationship with me and if so, I'm must move on. I explained tht I actually need to get to know a man, before I take it to that level of intimacy. Also, I suggested we spend time at more neutral places and even invited him out to a movie (my treat). I respectfully declined the invitation to his home for now and made it known that that would be my last communication to him.

He called me that night and the first thing out of his mouth was "I'm so, so sorry if I offended you in anyway". He went on to explain that he had felt such a connection with me from the first night that he got carried away, that the last thing he wanted to do was rush me and he would hold my hand and skip down the block if thats what i wanted.lol. He then said "I don't want to lose my blonde baby over something like that" (i changed my hair color). It was about 10 and i was asleep when he called (i'm an early riser). We said our good-byes and I had a the best nights sleep ever

We had dinner on Friday and although he was leaving to Georgia the next morning... we spend the night talking, laughing and smooching on the beach until the sun came up. One of the best dates of my life.


Thanks again for those who took the time to respond with kindness, respect and even humor. I had a few LOL moments.


SwimG - Yes you did sound like a "Total B*itch". You concluded that because of spelling/grammatical errors, I'm not cabable of an intelligent debate, therefore, "he doesn't value me as his intellectual peer". So sad that with your extensive vocabulary and articulation; you have no class or common sense. If I cared what anyone on here thought of my command of the english language, I would have spell/grammar checked it and formatted it into a MLA style paper. Might make you feel better, but "frankly my dear, I don't give a dam". Spell/grammar check that too.


"I can never fear that things will go far wrong where common sense has fair play."
Thomas Jefferson

"Intelligence and courtesy not always are combined;Often in a wooden house a golden room we find."
Henry Wordsworth Longfellow

Swimgoddess

-I'm just glad it seems to be working out for you.

La_Amazona

Hi Pals!

It was my Birthday weekend and I had a Fantastic time


Quick Update!!!

I sent him a note Thursday night stating how much I enjoyed his company and those things about him i liked so far. I then explained how his frequent references to sex are making me think he is only interested in a physical relationship with me and if so, I'm must move on. I explained tht I actually need to get to know a man, before I take it to that level of intimacy. Also, I suggested we spend time at more neutral places and even invited him out to a movie (my treat). I respectfully declined the invitation to his home for now and made it known that that would be my last communication to him.

He called me that night and the first thing out of his mouth was "I'm so, so sorry if I offended you in anyway". He went on to explain that he had felt such a connection with me from the first night that he got carried away, that the last thing he wanted to do was rush me and he would hold my hand and skip down the block if thats what i wanted.lol. He then said "I don't want to lose my blonde baby over something like that" (i changed my hair color). It was about 10 and i was asleep when he called (i'm an early riser). We said our good-byes and I had a the best nights sleep ever

We had dinner on Friday and although he was leaving to Georgia the next morning... we spend the night talking, laughing and smooching on the beach until the sun came up. One of the best dates of my life.

Told you so!!!! :flowerforyou: I wish you luck in finding your best friend.

spicy618

-I'm just glad it seems to be working out for you.

Thanks SG! :flowerforyou:

spicy618

Hi Pals!

It was my Birthday weekend and I had a Fantastic time


Quick Update!!!

I sent him a note Thursday night stating how much I enjoyed his company and those things about him i liked so far. I then explained how his frequent references to sex are making me think he is only interested in a physical relationship with me and if so, I'm must move on. I explained tht I actually need to get to know a man, before I take it to that level of intimacy. Also, I suggested we spend time at more neutral places and even invited him out to a movie (my treat). I respectfully declined the invitation to his home for now and made it known that that would be my last communication to him.

He called me that night and the first thing out of his mouth was "I'm so, so sorry if I offended you in anyway". He went on to explain that he had felt such a connection with me from the first night that he got carried away, that the last thing he wanted to do was rush me and he would hold my hand and skip down the block if thats what i wanted.lol. He then said "I don't want to lose my blonde baby over something like that" (i changed my hair color). It was about 10 and i was asleep when he called (i'm an early riser). We said our good-byes and I had a the best nights sleep ever

We had dinner on Friday and although he was leaving to Georgia the next morning... we spend the night talking, laughing and smooching on the beach until the sun came up. One of the best dates of my life.

Told you so!!!! :flowerforyou: I wish you luck in finding your best friend.

I'm going to pick him up from the airport today. Thank you for your well wishes.

angelicdisgrace

So what he wants to knock some boots. Who knows you might just rock his world and 13yrs later still be all hot and bothered over each other just like my husband and me. If he doesn't return your calls, who cares he wasn't the one. Are you just not into him?

exercisesucks

The question no one seems to have asked so far is...What do you want? If you just want a fling with him than go for it. If you dont want a fling, them tell him and ask him what he wants. If what you want and what he wants do not line up, then bounce. It aint calculus. Dont try to change him or try to play any keep away games with the bootay. LOL. Either his wants match with yours or they dont. He will understand. We men are used to accustomed to rejection so we have no problem moving on if we find out you dont want what we want.

Men are not jerks for wanting to get physical with a woman. But a woman who is not honest with herself about what she wants and tries to mold a guy into something else, is. You have every right to not be pawed at and you dont have to listen to sexual innuendo from a man if you are not interested. Just make sure you are clear about what you want. And if he just wants a fling, and you dont, then tell him no thanks.

AngelsKisses75

That is awesome news! I am really glad I checked back! Good for you!! :drinker: