venting on "male PIGS"

rhodes2b

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Men are jerks!

Maybe it would just be easier if you decided to switch teams..

Of course, Panda would want to watch :laugh:

And you would be right next to him!

Swimgoddess

I don't mind either when >I< catch my guy eye-raping the chick who's younger, hotter, better endowed, more exotic, etc. So long as he does it discreetly enough that I'm the only one who notices. Heck, more than half the time I point them out! Lol. We often follow it up with in-depth discussion later comparing notes/observations. If a woman was genetically blessed or obviously invested a lot of hard work in her appearance, it warrants an appreciative eye.

It takes CONFIDENCE to do that with your spouse and not read into it in a way that you >actually< feel threatened. Maybe you've heard men find confidence sexy?

JThomas61

I just Have to vent!!! I know it's "Father's Day" and all but some men are just "PIGS" They don't even give you a second look when ya all out of shape, but as soon as they found out you starting to look a lil decent, oh... yea oh they all up in your business acting as if they are your bestest buddy.. Why is this????? Does anyone have an answer??? Please Help me understand this..

This is even for my husband: He was all the time checking girls out "Right in front of me" and now if I even get a compliment from a male It is as if I was "Sleeping" with him or something.. you know or does noone no:????? And dang I can't even go to the freaking Tanning bed without my husband tagging along anymore.. Crazy!!!!!

Come on Buddies, Give me some advice or opinions on these issues I am having.. "PLEASE"

{{Hugs}} Rachel

I understand about the husband issue..were now not together but he never noticed me until i started to lose weight and go tan, i mean i was a decent girl before but once started to feel better about myself and my ex husband started saying all these rude things...i so understand were u are cming from........

All of us...both men and women can be insecure about our appearance / weight but its never an excuse to belittle those that we suppossedly love to make ourselves feel better. He should be proud of the fact that not only have you lost weight but you are now happy and confident with your new self. Maybe, just maybe that is the part that he is having problems with. Some men can't deal with women who are confident and independent. Those men are usually the ones who are insecure.

calibri

I'd only care if he was being ridiculous (dead in midstep, mouth ajar, etc) because it would be overkill as far as reactions go. Fortunately, my bf acts like he's seen a pair of boobs before and they are inherently fascinating. We talk about girls around us all the time, sometimes they're hot, sometimes they're hideous. Guess it's about how secure you are in the relationship/life.

i_love_vinegar

You sound sweet and your husband sounds like a douche.

Unfortunately, it is true looks mean a lot to most PEOPLE...so I recommend stopping the tanning beds and getting Fake Bake instead...
Then leave the douche.
Dress a bit frumpy, forget the makeup, maybe smear some butter on your face to get the acne poppin'
Find yourself a nice guy who still likes you despite not looking great
Then put your regular clothes and makeup on, get a prescription for Retin A and you'll not only look hot, but you will have a man who loved you before seeing what you usually look like

sportsjunkee70

all I know is that women can be the same way. Does that make them pigs too?

i_love_vinegar

all I know is that women can be the same way. Does that make them pigs too?

Yes, it does.

LeeKetty1176

I just Have to vent!!! I know it's "Father's Day" and all but some men are just "PIGS" They don't even give you a second look when ya all out of shape, but as soon as they found out you starting to look a lil decent, oh... yea oh they all up in your business Bacting as if they are your bestest buddy.. Why is this????? Does anyone have an answer??? Please Help me understand this..

This is even for my husband: He was all the time checking girls out "Right in front of me" and now if I even get a compliment from a male It is as if I was "Sleeping" with him or something.. you know or does noone no:????? And dang I can't even go to the freaking Tanning bed without my husband tagging along anymore.. Crazy!!!!!

Come on Buddies, Give me some advice or opinions on these issues I am having.. "PLEASE"

{{Hugs}} Rachel

Biggest problem here is making the assumption that men THINK....... REALLY???????? do we????? Oh Crap !!!!

Serious It is human nature to "check out" others.... this does not mean that we wan to jump on them......its hard wired in....... like cave man deep " MAN SEEK WOMAN" before hitting her on the head with a club and dragging her to the cave by her hair !

As for him having a go back at you................ its only cos he knows what the other guy is thinking

AwesomeSauce4

You sound sweet and your husband sounds like a douche.

Unfortunately, it is true looks mean a lot to most PEOPLE...so I recommend stopping the tanning beds and getting Fake Bake instead...
Then leave the douche.
Dress a bit frumpy, forget the makeup, maybe smear some butter on your face to get the acne poppin'
Find yourself a nice guy who still likes you despite not looking great
Then put your regular clothes and makeup on, get a prescription for Retin A and you'll not only look hot, but you will have a man who loved you before seeing what you usually look like

HaHa!!!! I So love how you think

AwesomeSauce4

Divorce seems in order. I'd suggest counseling but trying to save you guys some cash.

Oh Beleive me. It's been put out there as an option.. I just don't want to give up on him Just because of Jealousy!!! I do Love him But somedays I just can't take the Lack of trust in our relationship.. "on his end"

Heed the signs. It's only going to get worse. Thinking you're cheating because you received a compliment. I have talked to many battered women that have said the same thing.

I second that, watch the signs, they are there, possessiveness is not pretty and some can take it quickly to a dangerous extreme!! Not saying your hubby is, only agreeing with the above poster in regards to jealously/Women that find themselves in abusive relationships.. :indifferent: :glasses:

Yea.. See this scares me because I seem to be hearing this alot lately.. With people who actually are around us on a daily bases.. Theyalso notice the Jealousy/possesiveness.. But I don't think he would ever hurt me Physically:ohwell:

AwesomeSauce4

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

Good Advice.. Maybe I should Try that infront of him and see how he feels..

AwesomeSauce4

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else. Men are jerks!

Maybe it would just be easier if you decided to switch teams..

Haha!!! Men are Jerks, But I have to say.. No applying for licker License here

pyro13g

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

Good Advice.. Maybe I should Try that infront of him and see how he feels..

I suggest you be prepared to duck if you try it. Don't poke a bull in the eyes. Playing games has a chance of getting you hurt. How about being straight up with him and tell him "deal with your jealousy etc.. issues" or i'm leaving . But, you also have to work on any issues you have or he perceives. We haven't heard his side either.

AwesomeSauce4

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

Good Advice.. Maybe I should Try that infront of him and see how he feels..

I suggest you be prepared to duck if you try it. Don't poke a bull in the eyes. Playing games has a chance of getting you hurt. How about being straight up with him and tell him "deal with your jealousy etc.. issues" or i'm leaving . But, you also have to work on any issues you have or he perceives. We haven't heard his side either.

I feel that I have done nothing other then Become healthier.. He only see's what he wants to see.. damn he is even Jealous of MFP.. and I asked him to join too and he won't he just finds something negative about everything I do.. My Grandmother Just passed away 14 days ago and since I go to the Cemetery every night, I am off seeing someone... I have sat down and talked to him but he WON"T listen.. How do you make a man sit down and listen?? if he won't????

Schwiggity

Let's all make gender generalizations based on anecdotal evidence!

pyro13g

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

Good Advice.. Maybe I should Try that infront of him and see how he feels..

I suggest you be prepared to duck if you try it. Don't poke a bull in the eyes. Playing games has a chance of getting you hurt. How about being straight up with him and tell him "deal with your jealousy etc.. issues" or i'm leaving . But, you also have to work on any issues you have or he perceives. We haven't heard his side either.

I feel that I have done nothing other then Become healthier.. He only see's what he wants to see.. damn he is even Jealous of MFP.. and I asked him to join too and he won't he just finds something negative about everything I do.. My Grandmother Just passed away 14 days ago and since I go to the Cemetery every night, I am off seeing someone... I have sat down and talked to him but he WON"T listen.. How do you make a man sit down and listen?? if he won't????

Read the end of what you just wrote. You have your answer.(he's forcing you into it) Maybe just a legal separation will get his attention and prompt him to go talk out why he feels like this with a professional. May actually be a big weight off his shoulders to get to the bottom of it, and anything else that prompts such strong responses from him.

binary_jester

So he is resistant to change and you dislike his attitude. Leave him...or don't. It's your choice. if you have been honest with him (really honest and not "hoping he gets the hint") and he is what he is...then guess what...he is what he is.
I didn't read the whole thread. I didn't need to. If you are married and there are kids, try counseling. He doesn't want to take that step then...
You decide if it is worth it. He has made his decision. You make yours. Stay and you are excepting him for what he is. Deal with it. Stop venting because you are volunteering to stay.
Or decide it is too much frustration and leave.
Being indecisive and venting won't get you anywhere.

AwesomeSauce4

Girl it sounds like he's a bit insecure! Lol, I'd play along with it and have some fun with it if that were me but hey, just sayin... Since you did mention that he'd check out other women in front of you!

Good Advice.. Maybe I should Try that infront of him and see how he feels..

I suggest you be prepared to duck if you try it. Don't poke a bull in the eyes. Playing games has a chance of getting you hurt. How about being straight up with him and tell him "deal with your jealousy etc.. issues" or i'm leaving . But, you also have to work on any issues you have or he perceives. We haven't heard his side either.

I feel that I have done nothing other then Become healthier.. He only see's what he wants to see.. damn he is even Jealous of MFP.. and I asked him to join too and he won't he just finds something negative about everything I do.. My Grandmother Just passed away 14 days ago and since I go to the Cemetery every night, I am off seeing someone... I have sat down and talked to him but he WON"T listen.. How do you make a man sit down and listen?? if he won't????

Read the end of what you just wrote. You have your answer.(he's forcing you into it) Maybe just a legal separation will get his attention and prompt him to go talk out why he feels like this with a professional. May actually be a big weight off his shoulders to get to the bottom of it, and anything else that prompts such strong responses from him.

So very True!! Maybe I just needed someone to tell me what I was allready thinking.. Thanks for the Advice

AwesomeSauce4

So he is resistant to change and you dislike his attitude. Leave him...or don't. It's your choice. if you have been honest with him (really honest and not "hoping he gets the hint") and he is what he is...then guess what...he is what he is.
I didn't read the whole thread. I didn't need to. If you are married and there are kids, try counseling. He doesn't want to take that step then...
You decide if it is worth it. He has made his decision. You make yours. Stay and you are excepting him for what he is. Deal with it. Stop venting because you are volunteering to stay.
Or decide it is too much frustration and leave.
Being indecisive and venting won't get you anywhere.

Yea that's just it.. there are children involved (3 beautiful ones) He refuses to beleive that nothing is wrong on how he is acting.. so counseling would most likelynot even be a choice.. I guess I will Just have to make the decision like you said.. Thanks!!! It's a Hard one to make though, that's for sure..:frown:

bunchesonothing

I don't know if this would work for you, but I personally would never "do something to get his attention" like a separation. That to me, is like treating your spouse like a child. Even if they are acting like it, it doesn't show you respect him back. And, I hate games.

I would tell him that it is bothering you so much that you can't last like this, you can't live like it and will have to leave if it doesn't get addressed.

If he thinks you're bluffing, then, IMO, that is a sign he doesn't respect you.

I will NEVER personally scare my spouse into doing anything he ought. I will address how I am feeling and express the extent. However, I would not leave with the intent of getting his attention and hoping he then tows the line and follows me like a lovesick puppy. I am not his mommy and refuse to play games. If he didn't take me seriously after several attempts of making myself known and throwing it out there that is was, under no uncertain terms, a sticking point with me, I would just leave.