PLEASE DO NOT DIVORCE ME BCOZ I'M FAT RIGHT NOW!

Babydollnikki

i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>

AngieM76

Well thats a good way to introduce yourself

CassieLEO

i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>

Because some guys (and girls) are insensitive *kitten*. Not all men are like that, and it is wrong for them to treat you like that. Keep your chin up!!!

sister_bear

I do believe this is a rant. Hello though, and welcome. I don't believe you're alone in this. You can do anything you set your mind to, but do it for YOU.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

RebelliousRibbons

Wow, um...

This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.

TakuraHunt

OMG - I love this post. I seriously need to send it to my... well, the man I married ( ). If you think the grass is greener on the other side, try taking care of your own and see how pretty it can be...

Your post made me smile - Thank you!!

TiniTurtle

men are pigs ::hug::

Avalonis

Wow, um...

This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.

Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.

If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?

If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.

If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?

You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.

I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.

I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.

And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.

Azuleelan

I don't think anyone divorces anyone else because they get fat... that's just an excuse. A good, solid relationship doesn't collapse due to things like that. He probably was an as**ole from the beggining, and you were fooled. Sorry.

hazelnutflav

first of all BREATH and welcome to mfp.

you have come to the right place to vent and get the help and support that you need in your weight loss journey, if i can add my own two cents it would be, are YOU ready to make a change because no matter what he says its all begins with you.

so are you ready?


if so then again welcome and add me as a friend if you need to im sure all of us here can help you, that is why we are all here:)

RichardWhitman

Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.

CassieLEO

Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.

True Dat!!!!!

AngieM76

Wow, um...

This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.

Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.

If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?

If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.

If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?

You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.

I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.

I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.

And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.

Agreed!

bluemoon_2425

:hug :hug :hug

Hearts_2015

Wow, um...

This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.

Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.

If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?

If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.

If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?

You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.

I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.

I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.

And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.

I agree with many of your points. I do believe we teach others how to treat us! If we treat ourselves with distaste and don't love ourselves it's very difficult to love another fully and accept that love back. We may think we are and that we can but truly? It's simply not possible, we have to first know self-love before we can pass it along to another.

ETA: Honestly? I'm a bit confused by the OP, am I missing part of it or was it typed quickly with hot emotion and a rant as someone suggested? :flowerforyou:

Crystal_Rudolph

Love is not a feeling..it is a decision.

audigal2008

Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.

THIS made ME laugh! I agree!

dvigeant

I completely agree. Its why I dont date them.

JNick77

Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.

True Dat!!!!!

^
This

Don't put up with that ****!!! Make sure you're not working out to gain his approval either, workout for YOURSELF and nobody else.

elphalba

I have four children with my husband and I gained about thirty pounds in six years. (First time I'm hanging onto pregnancy weight and last baby is only a year old.) My husband still finds me attractive and weight is not an issue. I've only lost a few pounds and his response was "You look even hotter."

You're simply dealing with a jerk It has nothing to do with your weight and probably everything to do with your marriage.

Swimgoddess

The powers that be in the health community do a disservice by recommending so much weight gain during pregnancy. The current guidelines are fine if you are starting off at a healthy BMI and know for a fact you plan on nursing or pumping exclusively for the first six months (and there is no way to predict which women can follow through with it). But in truth, they need to go back to the 15-23lb range for a normal uncomplicated pregnancy. Many learn the hard way and are just more cautious the next time around.

YOU know when you're fed up with yourself and are ready to drop the weight. That point varies from woman to woman. The military gives 6 months as a deadline to be under 25BMI. They wouldn't mandate that if it weren't possible for 98% of post-partum women (who are also required to workout at least 3x a week after 6 weeks). That is an example of a minimum grace period though; and it isn't without a lot of support.

Don't do it for him, do it for you. Every mom has an inner MILF. He loses his right to complain if he isn't helping the family with healthier eating choices or watching the kids so you can workout.

If he really is just being a d!ck and you see no validity to what he's saying, I third the "get hot & trade-up" mentality.

Babydollnikki

NO LONGER BEING "IN A BOX", WHICH SOCIETY CONSTANTLY ATTEMPTS TO DRIVE US WOMEN TO LIVE IN IS EXACTLY WHY I DID PRECISELY THAT. THE POSTING OF A RANT. NOT THE TYPICAL INTRODUCTION KIND OF GAL ANY LONGER. BECAUSE I AM FREE TO BE ME NOW. FREEDOM TO EXPRESS MYSELF AFTER EATING INSTEAD OF SPEAKING UP. AN EXCHANGE FOR MY BOX OF DOUGHNUTS FOR MY FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION. ALL ___ AND ___LBS OF ME. ITS TIME TO SPEAK UP AND SPEAK OUT AS MY STRESS RIDDEN POUNDS FALL FROM ME-- AND ONTO THE FLOOR! THE LAST STRAW MISTER! YOU'VE FINALLY CROSSED THE LINE! KNOWING THAT YOU SEE THE PROGRESS IN MY WEIGHT LOSS YOU ATTEMPT TO SELFISHLY AND SELF CENTERDLY TRY TO SABOTAGE IT BY STATING TO ME..."I HOPE YOU GET THE BODY OF A 27 YEAR OLD AND LEAVE ME AND FIND A MAN WHO WILL TREAT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. AND YOU CAN LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK"! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR MISTER SPOUSE...

Gary1977

I feel for ya, but I had to come to a hard realization. I AM THE REASON I'M FAT! I don't agree the way your husband treated you. However, if you don't care enough about yourself to make improvements why should others care. I'll offer you the same advise I gave myself: Quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. Also don't do it for others, do it for yourself. If you don't, you'll never see it through to the end. Good luck with your journey and I'm sure you'll achieve your goals.

Noctuary

men are pigs ::hug::

I take it you are a lesbian then? Or do you partake of the swine?

Hearts_2015

men are pigs ::hug::

I take it you are a lesbian then? Or do you partake of the swine?

:laugh: <~~this was in agreement of your comment, it struck me as funny at first but you make a good point!

kr3851

Wow, um...

This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.

Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.

If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?

If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.

If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?

You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.

I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.

I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.

And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.

I almost ranted when I read this first sentence... but then I read the rest. It's true.. I'm fat because I didn't respect myself enough to take care of myself. At the same time though, if I'm TRYING to improve myself I would expect my significant other to support me in that endeavour. I'm lucky enough to have a partner who met me at my biggest, loves me at my biggest, and is supporting me in my effort to improve myself. I AM ONLY DOING IT FOR ME, NOT FOR HIM. He just gets to enjoy it!

ditzee

just tell him he's not wired for 2--20 and get on with your life. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

oldfastguy

Me likey your counsel.... The thing to remember is Men marry women hoping the don't change and they usally do... Women marry men hopeing to change them and they seldom do.... If men and women don't relieze that they'll likely bounce around from marrage to marrage until they do.

Noctuary

I say let that be the very last post about him. THIS is about YOU now. Get out there and do your thing! Being positive will do you alot better than thinking about the negative. Good luck!

TiniTurtle

men are pigs ::hug::

I take it you are a lesbian then? Or do you partake of the swine?

not a lesbian, i enjoy my well trained pig ;o) baha

Carey2011

Let's just hope he remains perfect! He isn't off the face of this planet yet! After having my two children I gained a lot of weight and my husband never criticised me once. All he ever said was that he still thought that I was still beautiful and that it was entirely up to me whether I decided to lose the weight or not. For better or worse !!