PLEASE DO NOT DIVORCE ME BCOZ I'M FAT RIGHT NOW!

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  • maurilax
    maurilax Posts: 51 Member
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    taking responsibility for your own weight and stress levels and disregarding what anyone thinks seems like an easy solution.

    there is always an excuse
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    Love is not a feeling..it is a decision.

    Totally disagree with this statement. If you could decide to stop loving someone I would have decided to stop loving the last jacka$$ I was with instead of staying with a guy who liked to get drunk and beat the *kitten* out of me. Even after having him arrested and getting away from him, part of me still loves him and always will. Trust me, if I could decide not to love him anymore I would.

    To the OP. There are other me, better men. This quote is a great way to look at love and relationships "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" (Marilyn Monroe) Don't lose weight for a man, do it for you and then go get a man who deserves you at your best!
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    OMG - I love this post. I seriously need to send it to my... well, the man I married (:wink: ). If you think the grass is greener on the other side, try taking care of your own and see how pretty it can be...

    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • triciawebb78
    triciawebb78 Posts: 142 Member
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    Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.

    *Like*
  • mommyoftwins05
    mommyoftwins05 Posts: 645 Member
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    I agree.. I put on weight after having our four kids. My fiancee would like to see me small again.. but he still shows interest and still attracted to me. Your man should be more supportive.. I'm sorry
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    chill out! 25yrs ago I took a course to learn how to quit smoking. In that course they warned us that when we finally succeeded, somebody, Usually the spouse, would basically say .... big deal.
    My wife begged me to stop smoking for years and I was so proud of myself when I finally quit that I guess I bragged about it.
    One day (I'm sure I was being a real jerk at the time) she turned on a dime and said big deal.... who cares... if you quit smoking.
    I was stunned. And if the course had not warned us in advance that this would happen... I would have been very discouraged and maybe even started smoking again.

    WELL SHE CARED VERY VERY MUCH. So just be aware that this is a normal and predictable reaction when people see someone else feeling good about themselves. I'm not saying that he is to be forgiven.... no way... just realize that he is jealous that you are DOING IT!!!! GOOD LUCK

    I agree...humans do many things out of jealousy
  • mikeyml
    mikeyml Posts: 568 Member
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    i think too often we try to use the back door

    giggity
  • Babydollnikki
    Babydollnikki Posts: 14
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    Good point - If I was single right now (and thank goodness its not likely to happen) I would be looking for someone I found attractive now... Although too be honest Id prefer someone close to my age.

    It wouldn't be a reason to leave an existing partner - but I wouldn't be on the market for someone overweight in the hope it would make me a better man!
    Mike! Your Freakn' Awesome!....NOTE:( CAps on cAps Off!)
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    I just want to publicly say that I have the sweetest, handsomest, best hubbin in the world. Reading this post and the responses just makes me love him that much more. :blushing:
  • studswife
    studswife Posts: 32 Member
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    chill out! 25yrs ago I took a course to learn how to quit smoking. In that course they warned us that when we finally succeeded, somebody, Usually the spouse, would basically say .... big deal.
    My wife begged me to stop smoking for years and I was so proud of myself when I finally quit that I guess I bragged about it.
    One day (I'm sure I orce me too. Plus, with a child my health was going way down hill. So if I didn't start loosing weight then it could come to a point that he would have to take care of my son and me? Who would want that?!?! If my husband was overweight like me, I would push gently to make him healthier too. I think sometimes spouses don't know how to say what they mean and it comes out strange in many ways.

    BTW: I lost 4 pounds, and my husband came home with Cheeze-its. I took the box and put it in his car. We had a long talk, and he said I had to learn will power. He was correct. I do. But I asked him to give me time because I had to learn will power. He agreed. No problems since.
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
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    I just want to publicly say that I have the sweetest, handsomest, best hubbin in the world. Reading this post and the responses just makes me love him that much more. :blushing:
    ME 2!!!!! :) We are lucky lucky gals!
  • studswife
    studswife Posts: 32 Member
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    chill out! 25yrs ago I took a course to learn how to quit smoking. In that course they warned us that when we finally succeeded, somebody, Usually the spouse, would basically say .... big deal.
    My wife begged me to stop smoking for years and I was so proud of myself when I finally quit that I guess I bragged about it.
    One day (I'm sure I was being a real jerk at the time) she turned on a dime and said big deal.... who cares... if you quit smoking.
    I was stunned. And if the course had not warned us in advance that this would happen... I would have been very discouraged and maybe even started smoking again.

    WELL SHE CARED VERY VERY MUCH. So just be aware that this is a normal and predictable reaction when people see someone else feeling good about themselves. I'm not saying that he is to be forgiven.... no way... just realize that he is jealous that you are DOING IT!!!! GOOD LUCK


    I agree. My hubby had made hints about my weight. In fairness, I hate my weight, would mope, be moody, I would lash out and I wasn't fun. Frankly , I would divorce me too. Plus, with a child my health was going way down hill. So if I didn't start loosing weight then it could come to a point that he would have to take care of my son and me? Who would want that?!?! If my husband was overweight like me, I would push gently to make him healthier too. I think sometimes spouses don't know how to say what they mean and it comes out strange in many ways.

    BTW: I lost 4 pounds, and my husband came home with Cheeze-its. I took the box and put it in his car. We had a long talk, and he said I had to learn will power. He was correct. I do. But I asked him to give me time because I had to learn will power. He agreed. No problems since.
  • supernovadark
    supernovadark Posts: 31
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    men are pigs ::hug::

    Pigs are surprisingly clean animals AND unsurprisngly delicious. One word. Bacon. I don't know why they get such a bad rap.

    Nom nom nom! LOL
  • deenie169
    deenie169 Posts: 22 Member
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    I'm with you! The grass is greener WHERE I WATER IT!
  • bStrauch
    bStrauch Posts: 1
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    i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
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    Yes, I'm stuck with my wife, no matter the weight because its deeper than that! As a personal trainer, its my job to help my wife lose weight rather its after having the baby or in general. When you marry someone for the wrong reasons, its easy to leave them.
  • Babydollnikki
    Babydollnikki Posts: 14
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    i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>
    caps off: I LOVE YOU MFP GUYS! (AGAPE:blushing: ) CAPS ON: Especially those of you with the negative evil comments! NOW I KNOW THAT MY SPOUSE IS NOT THE ONLY MEAN SPIRITED INSENSITIVE MISERABLE BEING ON THE PLANET...so...in... essence...YOU'VE HELPED instead of your elicited hinder.attempt:drinker: Now I can continue on in my quest for HEALTH, LAUGHTER, FUN LOVING HUMAN BEINGS and the PURSUIT OF SHEER BEAUTY DRESSED IN A ROBE OF SUPER CONFIDENCE,HIGH SELF ESTEEM AND ENORMOUS CAPABILITIES! Thanks to all my new MFP friends!

    P.S.- With the responses you have been giving with only HALF THE STORY...I would hate to tell you about his really bad side and issues. You might put out an APB. LOL
  • DavisKaren
    DavisKaren Posts: 13
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    Kick him to the curb, get up and move for you and you will be surprised by what happens. There are good men out there that are supportive! He's a mother......***** for treating you like that. Lose him and the weight!
  • jeninne
    jeninne Posts: 412 Member
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    Me likey your counsel.... The thing to remember is Men marry women hoping the don't change and they usally do... Women marry men hopeing to change them and they seldom do.... If men and women don't relieze that they'll likely bounce around from marrage to marrage until they do.

    Too funny- and true
  • hellie1961
    hellie1961 Posts: 4
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    I'm sorry but this is total crap. That would be like me saying I left my husbad becasue he is bald now. WTF

    :explode:


    Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.

    If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?

    If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.

    If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?

    You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.

    I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.

    I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.

    And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.
    [/quote]

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