Here it goes... I never get approach by men is it because of

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  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I don't live in the greatest city... but even if I go to a bigger city or the States (I'm Canadian) ... it's the same deal...
    they'll just stare me down but won't come up to me.

    Really? I'm surprised as I would have guessed it was your environment rather than you. If you lived here in London I would say 5, 10 minute tops before you got approached.

    You don't look particularly intimidating to me. Having said that there are literally thousands of beautiful women here but you might be in a different league where you live. Some guys have a real fear of approaching women though I have no idea why.

    Have you tried dating women instead ;)
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
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    So, what is it when they have to approach you? Anyway, I'd lose the flower print shirt. Just my opinion.

    Haa
    I love that shirt :)
    I'd most definitely lose those sunglasses.

    agreed. i love the shirt. you are beautiful :)

    (and way to be a d0uche-bag, guy. didn't you see bambi, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all).

    1. She asked opinions.
    2. I'm a guy, I think mine counts.
    3. Guys aren't attracted to flower print shirts. If I saw her, I'd think motherly type. Not really what a guy is looking for on a first meeting.
  • lukeleia4
    lukeleia4 Posts: 20 Member
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    Here's my take. I am married (17 years) and still get approached by men several times a week. I'm a frumpy middle-aged mom, I smile a lot, am incredibly clumsy and completely NON-THREATENING. I have far more male friends than female friends and can tell you that my single male friends often complain about how lonesome they are, but they're too shy to approach a woman or even call one if the woman hands him their phone number. If you're looking for someone, approach THEM. Don't wait for them to approach you. Create the life you want. Don't just hope that it happens.
  • flatbellybella
    flatbellybella Posts: 303 Member
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    So, what is it when they have to approach you? Anyway, I'd lose the flower print shirt. Just my opinion.

    Haa
    I love that shirt :)
    I'd most definitely lose those sunglasses.

    agreed. i love the shirt. you are beautiful :)

    (and way to be a d0uche-bag, guy. didn't you see bambi, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all).

    1. She asked opinions.
    2. I'm a guy, I think mine counts.
    3. Guys aren't attracted to flower print shirts. If I saw her, I'd think motherly type. Not really what a guy is looking for on a first meeting.

    LOL
    fair enough.
    but I like it and it looks better in person. so I guess end of that discussion
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    If you're looking for someone, approach THEM. Don't wait for them to approach you. Create the life you want. Don't just hope that it happens.

    *like*
  • Hernandezedw
    Hernandezedw Posts: 284
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    So starting you down is a way to get attention. Do you ever call over any of them that stare you down? I bet if you did they would approach.

    This is the best advice.
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
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    If you're looking for someone, approach THEM. Don't wait for them to approach you. Create the life you want. Don't just hope that it happens.

    *like*

    I have to agree with this...

    And for the record, I think you're *kitten* gorgeous.
  • bellinachuchina
    bellinachuchina Posts: 498 Member
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    Here's my take. I am married (17 years) and still get approached by men several times a week. I'm a frumpy middle-aged mom, I smile a lot, am incredibly clumsy and completely NON-THREATENING. I have far more male friends than female friends and can tell you that my single male friends often complain about how lonesome they are, but they're too shy to approach a woman or even call one if the woman hands him their phone number. If you're looking for someone, approach THEM. Don't wait for them to approach you. Create the life you want. Don't just hope that it happens.

    Agreed :) Celebrating my 5 year wedding anniversary this coming Sunday!

    I approached my Husband. Maybe it's just my personality, but I liked what I saw and claimed it lol. He likes how assertive I am, one of the reasons he married me, according to him.

    If a man can't handle a strong woman, than that is a reflection of his own confidence! You look beautiful IMO, I'm shocked you don't get hit on. Maybe it's the type of men you are around or partial to? I live in N.Y., and here, you wouldn't go out w/ out getting talked to!!
  • flatbellybella
    flatbellybella Posts: 303 Member
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    If you're looking for someone, approach THEM. Don't wait for them to approach you. Create the life you want. Don't just hope that it happens.

    *like*

    I have to agree with this...

    And for the record, I think you're *kitten* gorgeous.

    Thanks, so are you.
    and I guess I could suck it up and approach someone ...and see what will happen lol
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Online dating is awesome. It's like window-shopping for men. Best thing ever!

    I got approached a lot when my friends and I went out (still do), but they weren't quality guys. They mostly just wanted to hook up or were just not that interesting to me.

    I never liked approaching men, at least not aggressively. It rarely worked.
  • Actavella
    Actavella Posts: 39 Member
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    Yeahh! I asked my guy friends and I've even asked an Ex (lmao) they said the same intimidating thing...
    but I think that whole intimidating line is just an excuse

    I agree! I think the intimidating line is an excuse and a cop out. Not every man is intimidated for crying out loud, what are you gonna do beat him up and keep him tyed up in the closet!?? I get the same thing too and I will tell you the truth!

    It's the Weight!! There are even some people who have left their spouse over their weight! Not everyone is like this but a lot seem to be!
  • mfreeby
    mfreeby Posts: 199 Member
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    Two words: "sticky eyes". If a guy is staring at you, and you don't want to be overt and give him a wave or approach him just do sticky eyes - make eye contact, look down (coy), look back up, smile. It may be the slight bit of encouragement he needs.
  • yanicka
    yanicka Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Why not try Eharmony? It's where I found my curent boyfriend (men friend lol) and there is many quality men on that site. Don't do the free site....they suck. I do not know what is the deal with canadian men......it's a wonder we are not extinct!!!!
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Throw out the old gender standards, and approach them.
  • norcalbowler
    norcalbowler Posts: 49 Member
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    I honestly don't see why you would have issues... You are a beautiful woman... Just sayin...
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
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    It's the Weight!! There are even some people who have left their spouse over their weight! Not everyone is like this but a lot seem to be!

    I can't agree with this. I got hit on as much when I was 222 lbs as I do now at 169 lbs. My boyfriend met me when I was 200 lbs. He told me that when he was younger he would hang out at the mall in front of Torrid and Lane Bryant to look for girls. There are plenty of guys out there that like bigger girls. I think what guys are drawn to is confidence and how you carry yourself.
  • grimnir
    grimnir Posts: 61 Member
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    If you're not giving a properly fun and flirty smile to the guys you catch checking you out, you're not going to get approached very often, because you're not telling them that they'll have an enjoyable interaction with you before they approach. And it's not chasing someone to approach them, it's just being confident and outgoing, which is definitely attractive to men, same as to women. Lots of guys these days feel the same way you do about 'if you have to chase something it's not meant for you', and most guys are generally unwilling to go down in flames right off the bat like a chump. Most of the time, guys only approach women because many times the only other option is loneliness. So if you want more conversations with decent men, at least cut us some slack and let us know we're welcome to come join you with your body language. If you don't look like a model and you wait for guys to come to you and pursue you out of the blue, you're probably only ever going to meet *kitten*. And if you DO look like a model, you'll have too much attention even when you don't want it, and you won't have any idea which guys are decent and which are *kitten*. So get your flirt on and enjoy it!

    Also, if you're not comfortable hanging with strangers or bars and parties and such, there are lots of opportunities to meet people at different social or interest groups and volunteer organizations, where you can meet people without much pressure and with plenty of stuff to talk about.

    When it's right, there is a push and pull. You chase each other at turns, in little ways throughout your interactions. It's a dance more than a chase-- meaningful emotional connections are impossible on a one-way street. Nobody worth your while will magically fall for you and pursue you on and on if you're not putting yourself within reach, and showing what it is about you that's so worthwhile.

    But hey, I could just be projecting my own experiences. YMMV.

    I don't live in the greatest city... but even if I go to a bigger city or the States (I'm Canadian) ... it's the same deal...
    they'll just stare me down but won't come up to me.

    and I guess maybe I have to put myself out there more... but a lot of my friends are in serious relationships/engaged/married and aren't really into doing things that "put themseleves out there"

    I guess women can always approach men... but that's not really how I want to go about it... I feel it would be sort of chasing them... and I feel like if you have to chase something it's not meant for you. meh.........
  • GaveUp
    GaveUp Posts: 308
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    You know what my husband told me.... He said when he first seen me 17 years ago, that I was to pretty for him. I think guys think that when they see a beautiful woman. Of course for me it has been 17 years, not as young and pretty as I was LOL
  • grimnir
    grimnir Posts: 61 Member
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    THIS
    Two words: "sticky eyes". If a guy is staring at you, and you don't want to be overt and give him a wave or approach him just do sticky eyes - make eye contact, look down (coy), look back up, smile. It may be the slight bit of encouragement he needs.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    THIS
    Two words: "sticky eyes". If a guy is staring at you, and you don't want to be overt and give him a wave or approach him just do sticky eyes - make eye contact, look down (coy), look back up, smile. It may be the slight bit of encouragement he needs.

    That really works. Hmmm...* :devil: as she thinks about the bar she was already planning on going to tonight.*

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