Here it goes... I never get approach by men is it because of

secostley

It's very obvious that the men in your city are having a major problem with their eyesight and don't recognize beauty when you see it.

Or,

The assumption is made that, because you're so beautiful, you're already taken. So you're not being approached.

I pray it's the latter.

God Bless!

Shawn

MrBrown72

It's very obvious that the men in your city are having a major problem with their eyesight and don't recognize beauty when you see it.

Or,

The assumption is made that, because you're so beautiful, you're already taken. So you're not being approached.

I pray it's the latter.

God Bless!

Shawn

Well said sir!

ttrotter1960

From a guys viewpoint . . . .

Are you sure that you are as approachable as you think you are? You may not be. If the picture of you is recent then I certainly see no reason why you are not being approached. You do in fact carry the weight well and you are attractive. The problem is probably in your nonverbal signals. Men are very sensitive to this because we don't like taking chances with rejection. So any decent guy is going to leave you alone if you look like your busy or not interested. so your job is to look available and interested. If their is someone that you would like to speak to then make eye contact and hold it for a moment longer than would be a casual glance. As you do this smile or play with your hair (yes I'm serious). Make sure that your stance is open and not closed (arms folded, etc). Don't be afraid to say "Hi" if your close enough to do so. Most men suck at verbal communication and would very much appreciate and respond to your help in initiating contact. Guage their response to your eye contact and or conversation. If they look away quickly from your eye contact or if they seem closed off from your "hello" then you should move on to someone else - they aren't interested and let's be honest not everyone is going to be so don't be offended (advice I am still working on).

Hope this helps

aly1221

I haven't read every comment but...i find that most meetings come from give and take, if he's giving u the eye (and you're into it) give him a little something back, casually close the gap, see if he keeps it up.
and really don't be afraid to just make a comment to a guy you think is cute...at the coffee shop, in a store, out at a bar/club, whatever it is you're doing.
and maybe take a look at where you are going? maybe it's time for a new location and a new set of men to pick from? have fun out there

ItsCasey

I haven't read every comment but...i find that most meetings come from give and take, if he's giving u the eye (and you're into it) give him a little something back, casually close the gap, see if he keeps it up.
and really don't be afraid to just make a comment to a guy you think is cute...at the coffee shop, in a store, out at a bar/club, whatever it is you're doing.
and maybe take a look at where you are going? maybe it's time for a new location and a new set of men to pick from? have fun out there

This is all good advice. Even if you're like me and you won't "approach" men, that doesn't mean you can't say something to them if you end up next to a cute guy in line at Starbucks or on the same aisle at the grocery store. That's just a random encounter that gives you a chance to vocally show your approachability and puts him in the driver's seat, just as smiling and holding someone's gaze for a few seconds from across the room gives a nonverbal cue to your approachability (and still puts the onus on him to come over and say hello).

I still believe that most men, if given an obvious sign that you want them to come over, will come and talk to you if they are interested. So the question is how well you are giving them that sign. Sometimes I feel really stupid doing the whole "smile-and-stare-back-for-3-seconds-then-look-away" thing, but it works if the guy is into you. I'm better at actually having a chance encounter with a guy, like say we're both in line at a coffeeshop counter looking at the menu board, and I might ask him what he usually orders. If a guy is interested, he'll jump all over that opening, and I won't have to do anything else. If he's not interested, he'll make it clear that he's not up for small talk by giving me a one or two-word response and then not saying anything else. That's my cue to move on.

Miss_Chievous_wechange

I must carry myself a little too well. I have been told several times that I look intimidating and unapproachable. In fact, I am quite opposite...I'm the most down to earth and friendly chic I know. LOL

AlsDonkBoxSquat

When I weigh more I don't get approached by men, when I weigh less I've had them stop in their tracks . . . this is only my experience. When I'm talking to men and I weigh more they look in my eyes, when I weigh less they look at my left hand. I carry myself well, and I think that I dress and present well no matter my weight, but this is still my experience.

As far as flirting goes: If you're looking across the bar, lock eyes for 5 seconds with a little smile (count it in your head), then break eye contact and return to your conversation. After a few minutes look back, lock eyes for 5 seconds and give him a wink or a nose crinkle (I can't get away with a wink and not feel silly) and a smile. Move around the room, see if his eyes follow, maybe he'll follow too.

kmarx65

I had the same problem! What I learned is the same as everyone elses posts. The two that worked the best for me was 1. don't decline any offers(no one else will dance w/ you...the rejection thing). 2. Give encouragement...smile, and eye contact.

BrownEyedG1rl

I work with a bunch of guys. When they are out at lunch or out after work, they check out women. If they see one and think she is attractive, I will say...Why don't you talk to her? They always say, "Ohhh, I don't do that. I just look". They WANT to talk to you, some men are just shy or afraid of rejection. I'm not a guy, but that's my guess.

In your pics, you look stunning! Very pretty! They probably think they don't have a shot in hell with you. If you make eye contact with a guy that is checking you out, give some kind of flirty look or something to let him know you are checking him out too. Go from there..

xXxKayleighxXx

You are beautiful and have a lovely curvy figure, which my male friends always prefer

I get approached a lot. Regardless of weight.

I've been told it is mostly because of my smile. I am a very happy, smiley person and i think it's easier to talk to someone that looks like they aren 't gonna tell you to get lost haha.

I am also an unintentional flirt. I'm happy to talk to anyone and i'm a giggly kind of girl that isn't afraid of a little contact...as in touching his arm, not him grabbing my *kitten*, lol.

I think that's all there is to it really,
Be confident in yourself, smile and be friendly.

I agree with other posters saying don't try too hard. I get a lot more attention when i've had less time to get ready and have just run my fingers through my hair than when i've spent a lot of time on it.

Most importantly, enjoy yourself. Have fun. If a decent guy comes along, great, if not, you had a good night out xxx

Marlinedorcinvil

Totally agree! I have the same mindset!

I never approach men because I want to know how much of a man he really is and how much he really wants me.

I'm not into guys who are more motivated by their fear of rejection than they are by their desire to get to know me. I'm into men who think "I want her, and whatever I have to do to get her, I'll do it."

The last man who approached me (an incredibly tall, incredibly ripped, incredibly fine specimen of a man who happens to be my neighbor) ... I think about him all the time. Sure, some of it is because he's really hot and it feels good to have someone like that expressing interest in me, but it's mostly because he had the balls to come over when he saw me outside one day (about a month ago), introduce himself, and ask questions about me. Now, every time he sees me, he makes a concerted effort to strike up a conversation and learn more about me. We're slowly getting to know each other better and may take it to the next level, but the dynamic is a bit different when it's your neighbor and not a guy you met at some random place. You don't want to make things awkward with someone you literally can't escape from (at least not without a major life change such as finding another place to live).

But I guess my point is that if he's not interested enough to come to you, then he's not interested. He may think you're hot. And if he bothered to get to know you, he'd probably think you're a great person. But if he's not willing to be the hunter, then he's not worth it. Approaching him would set the tone for any relationship you might have with him; he'd always expect you to be the one to do all the hard work.

If you see a guy you just have to have but it's clear that he's not going to come to you and you think you want to make the first move, then do something like walk past his table and tell him you like his shirt or whatever. That makes you approachable. If he doesn't pick up your scent at that point, move on because he's obviously not going to chase you.

BigBeaver

In my opinion, the men where you live are nucking futs! I tell you, some men just don't know how to appreciate beauty.

pammbroo

I know exactly what you mean. There is no good answer as to why they don't talk to you. I have the same issue, and like you, most of my friends are married and aren't into "putting themselves out there," much less being very social period. Even when I've tried talking to men, nothing ever comes of it. I am told that I am too intimidating, then I am told that men are attracted to confidence and independence; success and intelligence. Uhh....... okay then. And I gave up on the online dating scene. I did it for over 10 years and had my profiles checked out by several people to make sure I wasn't coming across as something undateable.

I really do believe it could be a myriad of reasons. The men that see you 1) lack enough confidence to say anything, 2) may be attracted to you but assume you already have a boyfriend, 3) simply aren't attracted to you for any number of reasons which may or may not involve your weight. As each of us women are unique, so is each guy out there. Some guys prefer blondes, redheads, Asians, rail-thin girls; you may be too tall, too short, too dark or too light for their liking. You may resemble their mother or ex-girlfriend/ex-wife, neither of whom they have a good relationship with (hypothetically).

In the meantime, think of all the reasons it is cool to be single. There are A LOT of married women out there right now who would love to trade places with you. I understand the frustration 100% and when it gets bad, those are the kinds of things I remind myself of.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

I think this is right on. I very rarely get approached and often wonder why? Of course, the little voice in my head tells me its the weight (although I am very proportionate and carry it well). But then I look around and there are PLENTY of overweight people who have a special someone. I know that I'm working hard to be healthy, and I can't let my self worth rely on what a stranger thinks or doesn't think about me. Online dating was interesting, but have no interest in it any longer. Its tough sometimes (and yes, will admit lonely), but there are lots of good things about being a single, smart, independent woman. Make yourself the priority. My personal opinion is that men are attracted to confidence and you should let that shine through. That's what I'm trying to do anyway. Hang in there!!

flatbellybella

thanks again everyone!
meh... maybe I'll try out online dating lol