Positive Praise for Poor Eating?

shopgirl192

Okay.... so I'm not trying to be offensive in this post. But over the past few days, I've seen soooo many people give each other positive praise for food diaries that include poor food choices, like fast food. I don't get it? I understand that some of those people have remained within their calorie goal for the day, but really? I'm more likely to give praise to those who eat a well-balanced meal, as opposed to those who are eating food that is pretty much bad for you. Isn't it the quality of food that you intake, rather than just the number of calories? Surely a 500 calorie dinner that includes whole grains, veggies, meat (or a source of protein), etc., is better than fast food? Just because you've stayed under or near your goal doesn't mean that you can eat fast food and see results.

I understand that no one is perfect, and I'm far from it.... but if we're being supportive on here, why are we commending food choices like that? Maybe someone can explain it to me.... again, the goal of this is not to offend anyone, I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message!

Thanks! Have a great Saturday everyone!

chubbyandawkward

I totally agree!

catcrazy

I guess it depends on what they were eating before, 1200 calories with half coming from junk food may not sound a reason to give praise for but what if that person used to eat 3000 calories ALL from junk? I don't usually check diaries, I go on trust and the fact that most sticking to MFP will eventually clean up their food without nagging from me...I know i've done it, not that I ate junk often but my diet has definitely got cleaner

Clew

I agree with you ... I do give praise on diaries, but only if I can see they made great choices ... I don't want to encourage 2 meals of celery and rice cakes and a dinner of an oreo and a cup of hawaiian punch just because it's under their calorie goal. And NEVER for a hidden diary. Who KNOWS what's going on in there?

I'm not the food journal police - but I don't want to encourage poor choices with a blind high five. Quality does matter!

kymarai

While good food choices are the goal, sometimes just getting people to eat is a good thing. So many people believe that not eating is a way to loose weight and it is a learning curve. I have seen the transformation in peoples food diaries over the course of the year. They do get better. I do agree that we need to be more helpful in our praise for diaries though. I try really hard to avoid the WTG and awesome unless that is what they have done. If they are way under then I find something positive to say, like great job on the veggies or great water intake. If they are over, I still give them support. At least they are logging and learning.

Healthy eating is the goal, so support is needed. I do agree we need to pay more attention to diaries if we are going to comment though. If I can't see a diary then I limit my comments to great job logging.

graysmom2005

More than anything those diaries make me sad, and I want to have a one on one sit down the with MFP'er. There are a few diaries I have seen where every single day, many times every single meal is fast food. Every. Day. And regular soda. Lots of soda. I guess it is all relative...they may have eaten 3x that before so this may be a huge step....but I often wonder if they realize that this is still amazingly unhealthy. I just want to go through my screen, hug them, and go over some healthier food options....but I wouldn't go so far as to praise..because your still malnourished. It's a process though. I was eating tons of processed foods at first. :-)

pelleld

This is why I never comment on someone's diary unless they post a request looking for suggestions. Sometimes they are under their goal for the day but its filled with horrible choices, or sometimes its just too few calories. I figure I won't comment, either good or bad, unless asked to. What really drives me nuts is people saying "I'm eating within my calories and not losing weight" and then you go look at their diary and its chock full of processed foods or candy and chips. Well duh.......no wonder you're not losing! It really is about more than calories in and calories out.....the composotion of those calories MATTERS! Sorry, rant over

lotty1987

i think everyone is entitled to fast food if they want it - i personally have takeaway once a week - it keeps me going.
My doctor and nurse say its about healthy eating 80 % of the time and not 20 % - i believe people need to 'cheat' on healthy eating else they will stop it all together - so therefore i believe people should say well done to fast food as it is saying everyone has cheat meals and well done for keeping within goals

i personally change my diary settings from 1 week to another normally its on friends only

velvetkat

Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! What I usually do is not comment at all on peoples diaries that have poor food choices. I see some peoples that are like that every day, day in and day out. I guess if they are eating less fast food than they were before than thats good but I just WON"T praise people for staying under their calories.
I learned not to say anything at all after trying to help someone(at their insistence) and then they un-friended me because I told them the truth and was trying to help them.
The scale is the final test anyway. Some say... well you can get smaller without losing the weight! I have yet to see someone who weighs 190 wear a size 4 so they scale still as to move at some point!


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Abbzzz

I will say good job if people are under their daily calories but i don't check food diaries. I'm here for support too and i know what bad choices i make, i assume everyone else does too. I know when i get negative support it just makes me feel like binging and so i don't give negative support either. I agree with you on the fast food but when i've been to mcdonalds in the past i've eaten a large meal, with an extra burger and an apple pie. That was just a week ago so if i ate mcdonalds now and still fell under my calories for the day i would be really happy with myself.......not that i would because even the healthy food they serve is fattening.

velvetkat

This is why I never comment on someone's diary unless they post a request looking for suggestions. Sometimes they are under their goal for the day but its filled with horrible choices, or sometimes its just too few calories. I figure I won't comment, either good or bad, unless asked to. What really drives me nuts is people saying "I'm eating within my calories and not losing weight" and then you go look at their diary and its chock full of processed foods or candy and chips. Well duh.......no wonder you're not losing! It really is about more than calories in and calories out.....the composotion of those calories MATTERS! Sorry, rant over

AMEN!

SuperSueg1

I think everyone on here is an adult and is allowed to make their own choices when it comes to eating. My goal is to lose weight but also to see I was eating way too much and it was things I didn't really even want. I do want an ice cream every once in a while but I am now more aware of which one to have verses three scoops of Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic! One of the things that drew me to this site was the fact that I can eat whatever I want but stay within my calories.

I don't see a problem giving praise to someone who set a calorie goal and stayed within that range even if they are eating a small cheeseburger for lunch. Before I would have chosen the large Big Mac extra value meal, now I might choose a small fries and side salad. So yes I may not be eathing the healthiest, but I am eathing healthier!

By the way anytime some starts out saying "I'm not trying to be offensive is a sure sign of someone being offensive."

_Sally_

Unfortunately, I think many MFPers are strictly focused on calorie count, due to lack of understanding of health and nutrition, and also lack of full commitment to change their lives permanently and focus on a path to attaining and maintaining optimal health. There are a lot of people who are focused on trying to attain external results in the least amount of time with the least amount of inconvenience instead of focusing on health from the inside out and let the external results come naturally.

Certainly no one has perfect eating habits, but if you are concerned about what you see on a regular basis in someone's food journal, you should feel comfortable to send them a personal message with your observations, suggestions and support. Maybe that's exactly what they need. Perhaps they are friends with you so they can get ideas for heatlhier food choices from your food journal.

If you have an MFP friend that gets offended by your reaching out to them in a spirit of support and encouragement to help them, then they will make a choice whether they want to keep you in their circle of friends or only surround themselves with MFP pals that give them praise and WTG's for poor eating habits.

Just my two cents.

seriousaboutlife

"getting it together" takes time. This is a long proccess for many of us. I used to eat tons of junk. I'm slowly weaning that out of my system. I don't have my food diary public for exactly that reason. I don't need to be judged on what I eat or don't eat. For now, I am doing the best I can. My decisions over time are getting better and better. Not every person can come to the same realization at the same time. Just staying under calories is a HUGE accomplishment for some... don't discredit that. They're here... and they're trying. Baby steps...

SuperSueg1

btw my mother always told me if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all! If you don't feel they deserve praise don't comment, but definately don't comment with something negative!

albinogorilla

yeah, i dont praise people for that...........if you skip breakfast and then have mcdonalds for lunch, and a snickers bar and bowl of ice cream for dinner, but stay within your calories, your not doing this right

MB_Positif

Honestly I don't even think that many people view the diaries, they just say good job if you're under. That said, I rarely comment at all if the diary isn't public because I DO NOT want to be giving a way to go to someone who ate garbage all day. However, since I do pay attention to people's other comments throughout the day, etc, sometimes you see that they'll admit they caved and had a cheeseburger, etc. For example. Yesterday I ate a Twix. Inhaled that thing. Wasn't emotional. Just wanted something yummy. My guilt afterwards was not for giving myself a treat, it was the manner in which I scarfed that thing down! Yuck! I don't eat that way anymore! So...in all reality I prefer to comment more on exercise than food, but I woudn't necessarily knock someone for eating at a fast food restaurant unless they've logged a freaking triple cheeseburger and two orders of large fries and a milkshake and an apple pie...

MB_Positif

yeah, i dont praise people for that...........if you skip breakfast and then have mcdonalds for lunch, and a snickers bar and bowl of ice cream for dinner, but stay within your calories, your not doing this right

agreed!

Thamantha

Positive encouragement to keep going and to keep tracking is, i believe, useful even if the person eats unhealthy. As someone else mentioned, it is a learning curve. The support someone recieves could make the difference between them deciding that it is too hard to not eat as they used too and just quitting, and that same person looking at what they are eating and making healthier choices.

I won't comment on someone's food diary unless I have looked at it. If i do comment then I will try to mention something they have eaten. A lot of people do this. Someone commented on mine one day that I had shown a lot of restraint in eating only one biscuit , and I think it was helpful to have that support.

amberwaves74

Great topic! Bump!
I try to praise whatever progress I see. I agree with the others that sometimes when people first start out, just stopping before the calorie limit is a huge victory. In behavior modification, praising closer and closer approximations to the desired behavior is called 'Shaping'. But there are definitely times when I'm at a loss for words (or praise), when people are so significantly below their calorie goal that they'll be in starvation mode. So, indeed, I try not to praise 'crash dieting'. I like the idea of praising progress, not perfection. And when someone makes a positive change in their habits, I like to make a big deal out of the step in the right direction.

Cebrinaj

I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AN OPINION ON MY DIARY..... I WANT SOME INPUTS ON HOW TO BETTER MY DIET!!!

sunnie_skyes

I just started with a "realistic" healthier eating plan and moderate exercise. Though for the most part I try to make healthy choices, I DO allow myself little "indulgences" mostly on the weekends. I don't ever want to have the opinion that any food is "bad" per se, but rather am trying to look at it as trying to make healthier choices. For the most part. I am not trying to be perfect, trying to be perfect is what I always failed at and was always easy to give up on. "If I can't be perfect why even bother trying any more?". I'm trying to get away from that mentality it's what has fueled my failures in the past. I'm trying not to look at any food as bad or evil, if I want it bad enough, I have it. But, where as before I would buy and entire "Chicken nugget meal" complete with dessert, I may buy the meal and share it, or buy just one or two components of the meal and have what satisfies my craving, and I've found it doesn't take as much. And yes, I do "budget" my calories, I KNOW if I'm going to have say "chicken nuggets", I'll eat a lighter breakfast/lunch/dinner or eat so I can fore-go snacks.
As I said, I'm just starting, so I may make bad choices out of naivete' or ignorance but, I'm learning and hopefully along the way, learn to make better choices. I'm trying my best, I'm reading, doing things I've never done before to try to make this work (joining this site for example) But, not getting any support or positive reinforcement at all or getting negative remarks, despite whatever efforts I'm trying to make, would be disheartening at best. And frankly it would make "the people" on this site come across as haughty and elite-ist, those negative opinions would seem critical and judgmental. All of which being an over-weight, inactive person most of adult life, I've dealt with enough.
Maybe it's the same with the people you mention.

MicMar66

i think everyone is entitled to fast food if they want it - i personally have takeaway once a week - it keeps me going.
My doctor and nurse say its about healthy eating 80 % of the time and not 20 % - i believe people need to 'cheat' on healthy eating else they will stop it all together - so therefore i believe people should say well done to fast food as it is saying everyone has cheat meals and well done for keeping within goals

i personally change my diary settings from 1 week to another normally its on friends only

I really like this post and I totally agree with you.

This is a topic that could go round and round. Some people think that eating junk food is a poor choice and ought not to be congratulated, others think that eating any kind of meat is unhealthy (and in some cases inhumane), for some it's dairy products, there are people who have allergies and certain "health" foods would most certainly NOT be healthy choices for them.

I guess the bottom line is personal choices are just that. I would never criticize someone's choices especially since I have no idea what led up to them choosing them.

sammys1girly

I believe in eating everything with moderation. If I totally deprive myself of any candy, etc.., I will gorge on it within a day or two. I stay under my calorie goal, sometimes have to stop quick and grab something not super healthy and am still losing weight, have good blood pressure (low, actually), good chloresterol, etc. But I cook from scratch and make lots of veggies and lean meats for a majority of my meals. I figure part of enjoying life is enjoying some of the yummy food!

Newkell

that is why I don't comment on food diaries. Eating plans vary from person to person. What is good for someone else may not be good for me. For some people just being here is a big step.

MicMar66

btw my mother always told me if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all! If you don't feel they deserve praise don't comment, but definately don't comment with something negative!

Sending you a friend request-my mother always told me that your friends are a reflection of you!

JasonsWeightliftingWife

I do agree with catcrazy. I think she does have a point, it does depend where we start from. Baby steps are best for me. I have been eating mostly clean foods for years now, but I do slip up and I understand that it can be hard to change over night.

_Sally_

btw my mother always told me if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all! If you don't feel they deserve praise don't comment, but definately don't comment with something negative!

I honestly don't see what is "not nice" about privately sharing some suggestions to an MFP friend that would help them reach their goals.

We are here to support each other to reach our goals and part of that support is having MFP pals that are part of your accountability circle (if you want to do this on your own, then you should not have MFP friends). If you see someone who is unhappy with the results they are getting, and they are in your circle of friends, why wouldn't you reach out in a spirit of caring to help them with suggestions for tweaks to help them reach their goals? It is certainly up to them whether they want to take different actions, but maybe they need the gentle reminder or the feeling of accountability knowing their diary is open to their friends.

I guess I would not be a good MFP friend for folks who don't want genuine feedback and suggestions and who aren't committed to change in their lives.

ninpiggy

It depends, if someone was struggling with binge-eating or compulsive overeating disorder (COE), and they've gone from eating fast food every day, multiple times per day to three times per week down, or down to once per week, or once per month, etc. that is amazing progress! Some of us came from families where love was shown through food (such as in Italian culture, such as my own; or German families like my significant other's) and it's very difficult to not transfer those childhood meals into our overall diets as adults. That's why we're on this site to begin with. I think if you see someone eating badly and also frustrated that they cannot lose weight, you can tactfully talk to them about integrating healthier food choices into their overall diet. Quite frankly, if most of us didn't struggle with this, we wouldn't be on this website to begin with.

cass89

but it depends, if they only have it once a month then yeah that's great! but everday, no

Louiselesley

My diary is sometimes really awful but I'm nearly always under my calorie goal (tis private at the minute but tis normally public). I haven't the best of diets but it works for me and that is what important.

I have some people call me on the amount of cereal I eat and how it's 'really quite awful' and I also have people call me on the lack of vegetables I eat - both things completely true but things I will not change.

My point is that the perception of healthy eating changes from person to person and where Junk Food is a definite bad choice, other people may see what you eat as a bad choice where you have no problem with it - so where does it start being okay to praise someone?

I praise everyone because even though they may have had junk food that day - they put it in their dairy and owned up to eating it. They could of easily ignored it.