Positive Praise for Poor Eating?

wildcata77

"getting it together" takes time. This is a long proccess for many of us. I used to eat tons of junk. I'm slowly weaning that out of my system. I don't have my food diary public for exactly that reason. I don't need to be judged on what I eat or don't eat. For now, I am doing the best I can. My decisions over time are getting better and better. Not every person can come to the same realization at the same time. Just staying under calories is a HUGE accomplishment for some... don't discredit that. They're here... and they're trying. Baby steps...

Not bothering to read the last 3 pages of this thread, b/c this is the answer I agree with.

And some of you sound incredibly sanctimonious.

eveunderground

"getting it together" takes time. This is a long proccess for many of us. I used to eat tons of junk. I'm slowly weaning that out of my system. I don't have my food diary public for exactly that reason. I don't need to be judged on what I eat or don't eat. For now, I am doing the best I can. My decisions over time are getting better and better. Not every person can come to the same realization at the same time. Just staying under calories is a HUGE accomplishment for some... don't discredit that. They're here... and they're trying. Baby steps...

This 100%. I started out eating fast food but limiting calories, and I lost weight, I slowly learned more about the importance and impact of nutrition and I kept improving and making better and better changes. Expecting others to be at the same point I am now would be unfair. It took me 10 years to get my eating as healthy as it is now. Anyone who is trying deserves encouragement and support.

milaxx

I agree. It's one of the reasons why I don't friend people who don't share diaries with their friends. I'm not trying to judge; I don't expect everyone to eat a vegetarian diet or eat clean. However, I am not going to congratulate someone on being under goal if they did by eating a snickers and a pizza all day. Also I like seeing interesting meals that others come up with. On the other hand if someone is truly trying to eat well and has cut down to one soda a day, while I may not agree with it, but I can appreciate the fact that this person is trying to adjust their eating habits and that should be encouraged. I realize that their is a fine line between judging and sharing and I make an effort to stay on the sharing side. When all else fails if I don't agree with your eating habits I simply don't comment on them. I'll save my support for that great workout or any other NSV.

katherines2230

"getting it together" takes time. This is a long proccess for many of us. I used to eat tons of junk. I'm slowly weaning that out of my system. I don't have my food diary public for exactly that reason. I don't need to be judged on what I eat or don't eat. For now, I am doing the best I can. My decisions over time are getting better and better. Not every person can come to the same realization at the same time. Just staying under calories is a HUGE accomplishment for some... don't discredit that. They're here... and they're trying. Baby steps...

I agree!!

DorkothyParker

I don't read diaries. I give praise for everything. I'm a kindie teacher so, habit? I would never give advice unless explicitly asked.

Also, as others have noted, we don't all have the same fitness goals. I don't share my diary because I understand that people might see my high levels of protein and fat as being very strange.

I think if you have a friend who is consistently under and you think they may have an eating disorder, you can PM them a gentle message with your concerns. Our friends with disorders or in recovery should be handled with kid gloves, IMO. If a former binge-purger binges but doesn't purge, that is totally deserving of praise. If a regular dieter binges, maybe you wouldn't praise them.

VirtuousVal

Okay.... so I'm not trying to be offensive in this post. But over the past few days, I've seen soooo many people give each other positive praise for food diaries that include poor food choices, like fast food. I don't get it? I understand that some of those people have remained within their calorie goal for the day, but really? I'm more likely to give praise to those who eat a well-balanced meal, as opposed to those who are eating food that is pretty much bad for you. Isn't it the quality of food that you intake, rather than just the number of calories? Surely a 500 calorie dinner that includes whole grains, veggies, meat (or a source of protein), etc., is better than fast food? Just because you've stayed under or near your goal doesn't mean that you can eat fast food and see results.

I understand that no one is perfect, and I'm far from it.... but if we're being supportive on here, why are we commending food choices like that? Maybe someone can explain it to me.... again, the goal of this is not to offend anyone, I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message!

Thanks! Have a great Saturday everyone!

When I first started in June 2012. I would check all of my MFP Friends Food Diaries to get Food ideas to add to my grocery list.
Once I became more educated. I would make constructive & positive suggestions to help those who were making unwise & unhealthy Food choices. I lost a few friends because they could not handle the truth. So I then posted the Followin on my profile page. Then I became frustrated & I stopped making comments on Food Diaries! So I removed this off of my profile page.
I do make comments & give praise & encouragement on private Food Diaries.

It is usually something along these example:
"CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS on stayin under your daily calories!
Hope you enjoyed a Healthy & Nutritious day!
You’re decision to make healthy & mindful eating choices will result in your success!"

Regarding Food Dairy

The only purpose(s) I see of having an "OPEN FOOD DIARY" is....

A) ACCOUNTABILITY FACTOR; You are welcome & need the ACCOUNTABILITY from others in your support group.

TO SHARE FOOD IDEAS; You are giving back to "others" because "others" before you have helped You in gaining the wisdom in "Healthy Food" choices. You are sharing your own "MFP FOOD DIARY" so others will have those "Healthy Food ideas". To help others that do not know what is considered a better Healthy choice in "Healthy Foods" and "Low calorie" ideas that they can add to they're own grocery list.

Otherwise, If you are one of those who are "Sensitive" OR someone who cannot "HANDLE THE TRUTH" (Just like how Jack Nicholson said, in the movie "A FEW GOOD MEN" LOL!!)
EVERYONE has the option to select a "PRIVATE" food diary! If you choose to want your privacy for whatever your reason my be!!!
Then make and "Select" the option in your "FOOD DIARY" settings to keep your Food Diary "Closed" & "Private"

FYI~~ { I do not "Decline" or "Delete" any MFP friendships if you choose this option for privacy. I will still "REMAIN" & "BE" an encouraging MFP Friend even with a CLOSED FOOD DIARY}

"IF" I make a comment on ANY MFP Food Diary, I do check Food Diaries before I post a comment. I won't comment on someone's food diary unless I have looked at it. If i do comment then I will try to mention something they have eaten. I am NOT one of those MFP Friends who will just pass by & ignored your Daily Food Diary as if I did not notice the "Unhealthy Food choices" you have made for the day!

When you chose to NOT be on target with your Daily Calorie requirements and are making "Unwise or Unhealthy Food choices". I will come to you with "Christ-like" intentions and someone who has a "Pure heart". That is what any "TRUE FRIEND" in a real life or on MFP should say & do for someone as a "REAL TRUE" friend!
I keep it 100% REAL with ALL my MFP Friends. I am NOT a "Fake Friend" in real life or on MFP. "IF" I do that then, I really would not be what a "REAL TRUE FRIEND" is defined as.

I have the same Friend expectations, knowing that My MFP Friends would do the same and would approach me & come tell me if I was not making "Wise or Healthy Food decisions & choices. Or "IF" I was slacking off on my calorie burns & exercises.

I am NOT critizing or chastising anyone!
I am NOT saying that I am a Health Professional OR a Nuritionist OR "EXPERT" OR that I am "BETTER" than anyone else! For NONE of us are perfect! We are all human and have faults and weaknesses! ONLY CHRIST HIMSELF is perfect!

I realize that when it comes to people's "MONEY" or they're "WEIGHT ISSUES" it is a very "SENSITIVE SUBJECT" no matter "how" or "what" it is said from a loving and a PURE HEART!

Our first reaction is that we may feel "offended" ... I would rather that someone will be mad at me at first THEN will realize that I was a blessing to them and that I made a differnce in they're life and will make better decisions and live a long healthy life! Than to see someone live a life that they are currently living is an unhealthy and unproductive life and DIE young!
"BUT" or "IF" someone comes around after the initial confrontation of being "CALLED OUT" that is when someone will begin on the right path to becoming "WHOLE" in MIND ~BODY & SOUL!!

angiechimpanzee

Unfortunately, I think many MFPers are strictly focused on calorie count, due to lack of understanding of health and nutrition, and also lack of full commitment to change their lives permanently and focus on a path to attaining and maintaining optimal health. There are a lot of people who are focused on trying to attain external results in the least amount of time with the least amount of inconvenience instead of focusing on health from the inside out and let the external results come naturally.

I agree 100% with this.

Although I have to admit that my lunches often contain some fattening components, yet typically are below 500 calories. My breakfasts and dinners are ALWAYS healthy though. Always. So I kind of go by the 80/20 rule - 80% healthy and 20% not. However if a person's diary is frequently the other way around, then yes, that's a problem and it shows that they have little concern for their health & only care about calories, which is a really negative effect that these types of calorie-counting programs can have.

MassiveDelta

Okay.... so I'm not trying to be offensive in this post. But over the past few days, I've seen soooo many people give each other positive praise for food diaries that include poor food choices, like fast food. I don't get it? I understand that some of those people have remained within their calorie goal for the day, but really? I'm more likely to give praise to those who eat a well-balanced meal, as opposed to those who are eating food that is pretty much bad for you. Isn't it the quality of food that you intake, rather than just the number of calories? Surely a 500 calorie dinner that includes whole grains, veggies, meat (or a source of protein), etc., is better than fast food? Just because you've stayed under or near your goal doesn't mean that you can eat fast food and see results.

I understand that no one is perfect, and I'm far from it.... but if we're being supportive on here, why are we commending food choices like that? Maybe someone can explain it to me.... again, the goal of this is not to offend anyone, I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message!

Thanks! Have a great Saturday everyone!

Did they log their food?
Is it your diary?

Props to them for logging...good food or bad. Documenting every thing you eat is the key. Mcdonalds or Garden Greens

mrsvatitagain

I think it depends as if thats the case you would NEVER say anything good about my choices most days. I eat fast food, I have dessert and I live my life! I am not a 'clean' eater, though I strive to be one day (maybe), but I am certainly eating and making better choices than I did before coming to MFP, the result 75 pounds down and counting. I think it all depends on what you as an individual hold has acceptable in food choices or not. If you choose to comment or not, matters not to me. It's my diary and I am living how and what works for me. YES, I could make better choices and I will....one day at a time. I would just ask that people be careful before judging negatively. That is the very reason why people keep their diaries private, I am not one of them however as I said I care not about if you like my food choices or not. My diary is open to keep me accountable and honest to myself, for some just the opposite happens so they keep it private, which is ok too. Its all on the individual and I would just ask that all comments be motivating and positive. We can beat our self up without any help from anyone else. :O)

running_shoe

Everybody is in a different place when it comes to their journey. I myself have always eaten relatively healthy, but as I evolve and learn, my choices become better. That being said, the friends I have on MFP tend to be the other way - healthier even than me! and some things I don't necessarily feel comfortable with, like supplementation. I don't think I would ever praise nasty eating choices, but our job here is to be supportive of effort toward health. Try criticizing someone for "unwise" choices and see how far you get in this day and age! Try to chose friends that fit your way of thinking, that are close to you on your own personal journey.

saschka7

Maybe I'm way off base but...did anyone *ask* for your feedback or did it just post automatically in your newsfeed? So you've noticed that someone has come in under calories but what they ate doesn't measure up to your standards and you feel the need to show that you don't support it: it sounds as if not only are you fretting about someone else's less than stellar food choices (which seems a little co-dependent-ish) but you're also fretting about your inability to comment on it, which is just being a busybody.

Like someone else said, when you start out saying you're not trying to be offensive, trust me, you probably have already managed it.

I think we all know by now that a Big Mac meal with a milkshake is not healthy eating. It's not for you to play Olympic gymnastics judge on someone else's food diary. Who says you have to comment at all? This is why my diary is locked. I eat loads healthier than I used to and almost always come in under my calories, but sometimes I like to have a cheeseburger, or a small portion of ice cream and I'll be damned if someone else judges me on it.

And what's with "I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message! " Who put you in charge?

This post has just rubbed me the wrong way. A big ol' "mind your own business" seems to be in order here.

ladymiseryali

When I eat at McDonald's I go for the lowest calorie item, which is ONE grilled chicken snack wrap. Sometimes I have a sundae, sometimes not. My fiance and I go where it's cheapest and if he's about to faint due to hypoglycemia, the closest. I don't care if it's
"bad" to do so. I don't come on here for praise on what goes into my mouth and eventually comes out the other end and I don't praise others for what they eat either.

Food is only part of the equation......and I think I lost my train of thought so I'm gonna stop.

BubblySharon

I give praise for "bad" food diaries simply for the fact that at least they are logging it... I usually do mention something in there saying just that... it's each person's own choice what they choose to eat... if it works for them, so be it... it doesn't work for me, but that doesn't give me the right to judge their way.

Aeriesified

I adore my support group. I really do. They're great. But I'll admit that sometimes I feel a little guilty when I know I've made a bad choice and they still tell me, "Good job!" at the end of the day. I feel like I haven't earned that praise, and it just doesn't feel genuine.

healthyformeanMona

I like the idea of shaping. What and how do you "bump"? And what is it for?

healthyformeanMona

I read this, and I have probably been guilty of this. I do check diaries, and if it looks good to me, relatively speaking, I will tell you, else I might just say "good logging". I appreciate the support system on MFP too!

phyllio77

Poor eating...depends what you would define as poor eating...my defination and yours maybe different.
I know myself...I never ate before...and when I did I binged on junk...I would go for days sometimes not eating...
I have a private diary....I eat as per the canadian food guide and if my protein or dairy shoot me over the calorie recommendation for the day..so be it. I give praise when I feel it is needed and Im here to support not judge. If you want to eat very little in a day and starve yourself to lose weight..you know the results..you don't need me to tell you..naughty naughty:) For the most part I have encountered all great people and wonderful friends on MFP for support. Great post and gives food for thought!

auntdeedee87

At least they are logging. Kudos to anyone putting forth the effort.

auntdeedee87

Maybe I'm way off base but...did anyone *ask* for your feedback or did it just post automatically in your newsfeed? So you've noticed that someone has come in under calories but what they ate doesn't measure up to your standards and you feel the need to show that you don't support it: it sounds as if not only are you fretting about someone else's less than stellar food choices (which seems a little co-dependent-ish) but you're also fretting about your inability to comment on it, which is just being a busybody.

Like someone else said, when you start out saying you're not trying to be offensive, trust me, you probably have already managed it.

I think we all know by now that a Big Mac meal with a milkshake is not healthy eating. It's not for you to play Olympic gymnastics judge on someone else's food diary. Who says you have to comment at all? This is why my diary is locked. I eat loads healthier than I used to and almost always come in under my calories, but sometimes I like to have a cheeseburger, or a small portion of ice cream and I'll be damned if someone else judges me on it.

And what's with "I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message! " Who put you in charge?

This post has just rubbed me the wrong way. A big ol' "mind your own business" seems to be in order here.

:drinker:

notmac

Sometimes, life happens, and you end up eating fast food. The last few weeks have sucked for me, life circumstances, had me out of town, eating on the run. So I had McDonald's and Carl's Jr for several days in the week. I needed to eat, and that is what works. If you can find something positive to say about one meal, comment on that. Maybe " Your breakfast sounded wonderful". We don't have to approve of everything to still be encouraging.