Positive Praise for Poor Eating?
Replies
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Maybe I'm way off base but...did anyone *ask* for your feedback or did it just post automatically in your newsfeed? So you've noticed that someone has come in under calories but what they ate doesn't measure up to your standards and you feel the need to show that you don't support it: it sounds as if not only are you fretting about someone else's less than stellar food choices (which seems a little co-dependent-ish) but you're also fretting about your inability to comment on it, which is just being a busybody.
Like someone else said, when you start out saying you're not trying to be offensive, trust me, you probably have already managed it.
I think we all know by now that a Big Mac meal with a milkshake is not healthy eating. It's not for you to play Olympic gymnastics judge on someone else's food diary. Who says you have to comment at all? This is why my diary is locked. I eat loads healthier than I used to and almost always come in under my calories, but sometimes I like to have a cheeseburger, or a small portion of ice cream and I'll be damned if someone else judges me on it.
And what's with "I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message! " Who put you in charge?
This post has just rubbed me the wrong way. A big ol' "mind your own business" seems to be in order here.0 -
When I eat at McDonald's I go for the lowest calorie item, which is ONE grilled chicken snack wrap. Sometimes I have a sundae, sometimes not. My fiance and I go where it's cheapest and if he's about to faint due to hypoglycemia, the closest. I don't care if it's
"bad" to do so. I don't come on here for praise on what goes into my mouth and eventually comes out the other end and I don't praise others for what they eat either.
Food is only part of the equation......and I think I lost my train of thought so I'm gonna stop.0 -
I give praise for "bad" food diaries simply for the fact that at least they are logging it... I usually do mention something in there saying just that... it's each person's own choice what they choose to eat... if it works for them, so be it... it doesn't work for me, but that doesn't give me the right to judge their way.0
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I adore my support group. I really do. They're great. But I'll admit that sometimes I feel a little guilty when I know I've made a bad choice and they still tell me, "Good job!" at the end of the day. I feel like I haven't earned that praise, and it just doesn't feel genuine.0
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I like the idea of shaping. What and how do you "bump"? And what is it for?0
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I read this, and I have probably been guilty of this. I do check diaries, and if it looks good to me, relatively speaking, I will tell you, else I might just say "good logging". I appreciate the support system on MFP too!0
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Poor eating...depends what you would define as poor eating...my defination and yours maybe different.
I know myself...I never ate before...and when I did I binged on junk...I would go for days sometimes not eating...
I have a private diary....I eat as per the canadian food guide and if my protein or dairy shoot me over the calorie recommendation for the day..so be it. I give praise when I feel it is needed and Im here to support not judge. If you want to eat very little in a day and starve yourself to lose weight..you know the results..you don't need me to tell you..naughty naughty:) For the most part I have encountered all great people and wonderful friends on MFP for support. Great post and gives food for thought!0 -
At least they are logging. Kudos to anyone putting forth the effort.0
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Maybe I'm way off base but...did anyone *ask* for your feedback or did it just post automatically in your newsfeed? So you've noticed that someone has come in under calories but what they ate doesn't measure up to your standards and you feel the need to show that you don't support it: it sounds as if not only are you fretting about someone else's less than stellar food choices (which seems a little co-dependent-ish) but you're also fretting about your inability to comment on it, which is just being a busybody.
Like someone else said, when you start out saying you're not trying to be offensive, trust me, you probably have already managed it.
I think we all know by now that a Big Mac meal with a milkshake is not healthy eating. It's not for you to play Olympic gymnastics judge on someone else's food diary. Who says you have to comment at all? This is why my diary is locked. I eat loads healthier than I used to and almost always come in under my calories, but sometimes I like to have a cheeseburger, or a small portion of ice cream and I'll be damned if someone else judges me on it.
And what's with "I'm just concerned that we're often sending the wrong message! " Who put you in charge?
This post has just rubbed me the wrong way. A big ol' "mind your own business" seems to be in order here.
:drinker:0 -
Sometimes, life happens, and you end up eating fast food. The last few weeks have sucked for me, life circumstances, had me out of town, eating on the run. So I had McDonald's and Carl's Jr for several days in the week. I needed to eat, and that is what works. If you can find something positive to say about one meal, comment on that. Maybe " Your breakfast sounded wonderful". We don't have to approve of everything to still be encouraging.0
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Even when I'm maintaining or cutting, I always leave about 20% of my daily calories to eat ice cream, cookies, cheese cake, etc. Eating sensibly doesn't equate to eating too perfect and giving up your favorite foods.0
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poor eater checking in!
i just like junk food! alot..
and im a SUPER picky eater..
the only veggies i eat is corn and pickled beets...
my salads consists of cheese,baconbits,and crutons..
yeahh! but, im cool with that cause it's workin to just stay in my calories!0 -
I praise everyone as long as they are under....most the time I dont look at the diaries, I dont have time.0
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If I do respond to someone's food diary I try to pick something positive out of it.
"Great breakfast!"
"Nice snack choices!"
Or whatever.
My food diary is by no means perfect. In fact this weekend was a complete train wreck. I'm not going to judge what others are eating unless it's pure crap and they spend hours whining about how they can't lose weight.0 -
This site is about so much more than weightloss, I think the fact that someone even opens their diary for people to see is a huge step to being accountable....we aren't here to judge people, we are here to support them, I think that's the most important thing, it's fine to make suggestions but some people don't want the advice...I would love the whole world to eat clean, since I started it it has changed my life literally, but we are all different and we need to understand that things aren't as simple as black and white, there are many more factors that come into it....I think in general people are getting through each day the best way they can, a simple comment of encouragement could brighten someones day more than we know
^^^^ I like what she said ^^^^
I'm just starting this journey, and climbing out the pit of denial is a huge step for some. I am overweight from compulsive eating with my head in the sand. Never tracked calories before now. This site has given me an opportunity to relearn a new relationship with food. It's been an eye opener for sure. I don't make changes easily, so I went into this with the mindset of "portion control and moderation" being the key to sustainability.
With that said, I'm now making much healthier choices and learning something new everyday. I occasionally treat myself to fast food on the run, but now it's an egg-mcmuffin instead of a mcgriddle. I'll have one Taco Bell chicken burrito and a glass of water. Baby steps for some of us. I can appreciate someone telling me how horrible those choices are, but I also want the respect for owning up to it and trying to do the right thing. Positive support goes a long way.0 -
It depends on the situation, yes in general if someone is eating all junk food I will probably skip commenting on their diary and if the situation warrants send a PM. If their main goal is to be under cal with no regards to what they eat then I will probably unfriend (not to be mean, but we have very diff goals )
Now on the other hand if I know this person eats healthy majority of the time and this is a treat day. I will comment positive. Yes I have given positive comments for eating cookies, ice cream etc.0 -
I would be one of those "people" who you would say is one of those unhealthy eaters! I am a super picky eater. No I do not like vegetables and no I am not going to force them down my throat because someone tells me that in order to lose weight I need to eat them. Yes I want to be healthy and lose weight. I see a doctor every 6 months for my thyroid. Guess what ALL my test show that I am healthy!!! My main thing is staying below my calories so if I want fast food I'm going to have it. I try to make a choice that will put me within my calorie goals. People who know me know what I have accomplished. I don't log my food for people to praise me or judge me. I started on here to be accountable to MYSELF. So I know what I'm eating being right or wrong. If I don't like something I won't comment. I try to stick my comments to exercise post. To me if you are exercising that is so much better for you than just eating "healthy"!0
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I've eaten Mc Donald's several times since I joined MFP this July, and I've still managed to lose weight. :huh:
*record scratch*
Instead of ordering 20 nuggets and a large fry, I've stuck to 6 nuggets and a small fry. In other words, you can (and should) give yourself a little bit of "wiggle room". If you're in the mood for ice cream, go right ahead and treat yourself. While you certainly don't want to eat an entire pint (let alone a gallon) in one sitting, you're certainly entitled to a scoop. The bottom line is that it's perfectly fine to have an occasional treat, but just be sure to watch your portions. I hope this helps.0 -
Everything in moderation and making more frequent healthy choices. For me that is vital and what differentiates a lifestyle change from a diet. I enjoy the occasional fast food burrito or plate of tasty chinese food chicken or tofu, but I eat try to eat less of it and add healthy options alongside them.
On the other hand, if it is a constant thing (like person X eats McDonalds super burger every day for lunch and a bowl of ice cream for dinner most days) and they somehow stay under, I'd think about offering some suggestions for ways to change it up0 -
I've eaten Mc Donald's several times since I joined MFP this July, and I've still managed to lose weight. :huh:
*record scratch*
Instead of ordering 20 nuggets and a large fry, I've stuck to 6 nuggets and a small fry. In other words, you can (and should) give yourself a little bit of "wiggle room". If you're in the mood for ice cream, go right ahead and treat yourself. While you certainly don't want to eat an entire pint (let alone a gallon) in one sitting, you're certainly entitled to a scoop. The bottom line is that it's perfectly fine to have an occasional treat, but just be sure to watch your portions. I hope this helps.
This ^^
If you restrict yourself too much, you'll just fall into bad habits. It's all about cutting the portion sizes.
A lot of people on here are making a pretty radical lifestyle change and it is difficult to do that in one step. But the first step is definitely cutting those portion sizes, the rest comes with time!0 -
I think everyone on here is an adult and is allowed to make their own choices when it comes to eating. My goal is to lose weight but also to see I was eating way too much and it was things I didn't really even want. I do want an ice cream every once in a while but I am now more aware of which one to have verses three scoops of Blue Bunny Peanut Butter Panic! One of the things that drew me to this site was the fact that I can eat whatever I want but stay within my calories.
I don't see a problem giving praise to someone who set a calorie goal and stayed within that range even if they are eating a small cheeseburger for lunch. Before I would have chosen the large Big Mac extra value meal, now I might choose a small fries and side salad. So yes I may not be eathing the healthiest, but I am eathing healthier!
By the way anytime some starts out saying "I'm not trying to be offensive is a sure sign of someone being offensive."
totally agree - I make poor choice at times (and I enjoy them) but if my friends complain I will start to dicuss portion sizes and choices skim instead of 2% etc. People are all at different learning curves0 -
While I have my diary open and welcome constructive criticism from my MFP's, I understand that there are many who are just beginning on this great new adventure that do not have the confidence to open their food habits to the world. I will offer my support and encouragement so that one day they might reach that point.
I know that my diary is not perfect. I do not always eat a balanced meal; and, I will enjoy fast food. (Heck, tonight we had pan fried cube steak WITH GRAVY). I know that if I do not allow myself some of the things I enjoy in moderation, I will snap. If I snap, I will spend all day eating Fruit Loops and Tostito's with queso dip followed up with a big fat corn dog and huge pile of chili cheese fries from Sonic (get the picture). I take care of my cravings in a reasonable manner as they arise to avoid a complete blow out. This is not a diet for me. It is a lifestyle change. Each day, I learn something new about the foods I like that help me slowly make the change to a better me.
We are here to support each other whether it be pats on the back and kudos for a job well done on a good day or words of encouragement on a day that did not go so well.0 -
This is an interesting subject. For many years I suffered with eating too little..Had an eating disorder. So I think we must try any remember where people come from or find out before judging. for me just to eat at first was great whatever it was. I also think it is a journey. Some people can be crushed with words.
It is not down to us to break peoples spirit but give encouragament. I think over a period of time we can help. yet there is a lot of pot calling the kettle black going on too. Not on this post by the way x
I agree that healthy choices are best. This is not a perfect program though. Learning and willingness...desire to change is all thats required xxx
have a fab day
angel0 -
I would be one of those "people" who you would say is one of those unhealthy eaters! I am a super picky eater. No I do not like vegetables and no I am not going to force them down my throat because someone tells me that in order to lose weight I need to eat them. Yes I want to be healthy and lose weight. I see a doctor every 6 months for my thyroid. Guess what ALL my test show that I am healthy!!! My main thing is staying below my calories so if I want fast food I'm going to have it. I try to make a choice that will put me within my calorie goals. People who know me know what I have accomplished. I don't log my food for people to praise me or judge me. I started on here to be accountable to MYSELF. So I know what I'm eating being right or wrong. If I don't like something I won't comment. I try to stick my comments to exercise post. To me if you are exercising that is so much better for you than just eating "healthy"!
I'm with this girl...kinda. Screw vegetables. That's what supplements are for. Plants are what you feed to cows, so they can grow up big and strong, and then get their heads lopped off and their various parts end up on my plate.
That said, I'm still not eating McDonald's. I'd rather eat the stuff that results from the cow eating the aforementioned plants.0 -
If I do respond to someone's food diary I try to pick something positive out of it.
"Great breakfast!"
"Nice snack choices!"
Or whatever.
My food diary is by no means perfect. In fact this weekend was a complete train wreck. I'm not going to judge what others are eating unless it's pure crap and they spend hours whining about how they can't lose weight.
I'm taking this as inspiration for my own commenting. Thanks for the advice
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I think we have to be very careful with our criticisms and comments when it comes to an individuals personal choice, unless they specifically asked you to police their food choices. For some people, being on here and seeing the diaries of others may help them in the long run make better choices. For some people that may be all they know, they may not know how to cook, they may have never had anyone to sit them down and explain good food choices. I know people right now who think french fries are a healthy vegetable choice because that's all they were taught growing up. Change is a process and we have to exhibit patience with people. When you visit someone's diary find something positive to compliment and eventually that person may begin to make even better choices. We should not be the food police because it is ultimately that person's personal decision. If we start being the food police (unless that person asks us to be) we could cause them to leave the site all together or make their diary private where no one can see and provide some positive feed back. None of us are perfect and each one of us has learned something on this journey that has helped us arrive where we are. It didn't happen over night it was a process. I'm learning stuff now at 47, that I didn't know before and had someone criticized my choices before I knew better, I may not have stayed with the program and lost almost 35 pounds now! Like I tell my children and I think it's applicable here as well, "If you don't have something nice and encouraging to say, don't say anything at all!" Find something you CAN say that will encourage that person so they will stay in the race and set an example with your personal diary and profile comments so that they will want to emulate what you do.0
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I know! There was one friend I had that was only eating like 700 cals a day and just because her thinghy came up saying she was under her calorie goal people were posting way to go! I posted, did you guys actually LOOK at what she ate today? She did 2 hours of cardio and ate 800 calories people!! GOHD!0
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I would be one of those "people" who you would say is one of those unhealthy eaters! I am a super picky eater. No I do not like vegetables and no I am not going to force them down my throat because someone tells me that in order to lose weight I need to eat them. Yes I want to be healthy and lose weight. I see a doctor every 6 months for my thyroid. Guess what ALL my test show that I am healthy!!! My main thing is staying below my calories so if I want fast food I'm going to have it. I try to make a choice that will put me within my calorie goals. People who know me know what I have accomplished. I don't log my food for people to praise me or judge me. I started on here to be accountable to MYSELF. So I know what I'm eating being right or wrong. If I don't like something I won't comment. I try to stick my comments to exercise post. To me if you are exercising that is so much better for you than just eating "healthy"!
... I can't believe what I just read.0 -
Wow, this is a random old thread to necro.0
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My opinion is that unless someone is asking for your advice mind your own business. I think some people lose a few pounds and inherit an inflamed sense of superiority when it comes to health. I am a moderation eater so I tend to clash with some people here. I don't look for praise of any kind. I grew out of seeking praise and attention when I hit puberty. You will see fast food on my diary from time to time and yes I drink regular soda(diet drinks give me headaches), but I am more careful with my choices and portion control. I am healthy, happy and very active plus I am at my goal and have been maintaining for a year. and if that makes people sad for me then that is their problem.0
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